Misplaced Soul
by ArtimecWing
Summary: One of my friends once told me, "You only live once." Clearly, she has never died before.
1. Chapter 1

This story is brainchild of having a mix of too much time between classes and not enough homework to fill the time. I personally don't know if I'll complete this story, but it'll give me something to do to pass the time.

**Disclaimer:** The only character I own is the OC. Hakuoki and all its characters do not belong to me.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"Fawkes is a phoenix, Harry. Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes."

― J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_

I always thought myself to be an extremely average person, although other people may have thought elsewise. People who I often just met would always think:

"Oh my! Such an intelligent individual." Seeing as I was a trauma surgeon.

But in reality, in the world of doctors, I was nothing special. Throughout school and my career, I was absolutely average. My scores were always in the dead center of my class 27 people in med school and in my time as a trauma surgeon, I was just always one of those people working in the emergency room. I was always just one of those people that was just there because someone gave birth to me and I had no choice but to exist.

I was no one special, but at the same time, privileged. I never did anything that was noteworthy, I wasn't charismatic, nor did I even have a forceful personality. I had a rather normal family with friends, never had any depression problems or any other health problems, and the way I died was such a common event that one would often hear about accidents like that on the evening news. In the end I was just... well, me.

My death was an unfortunate accident, but the fashion in which it occurred was nothing uncommon. My killer? A drunk driver was speeding the wrong side of street and struck my car. The impact of the other car drove a large piece of scrap metal into my left kidney and my liver. I bled out before the rescuers were able to cut me out of the wreck of my car. I was 31 years old.

In light of my extraordinarily average life, it is a mystery that, me of all people, was placed in this situation. After my death, my conscious just kind of floated in limbo. An unknown period of time passed as I was then soon enveloped in gentle warmth. Then in an instant I was pushed through an uncomfortable small tube and into blinding light.

"Why isn't she crying?" Were the first words I heard since my untimely death.

I tried to look around to obtain knowledge of what was going on, but I could not see clearly or move my limbs properly. Trying to figure out what was going on in this state was just like waking up after getting plastered for the first time on the night of my 21st birthday.

"Is the baby a stillborn?" The voice continued to ask, sounding strangely hopeful. _What type of mother wanted to have a stillborn baby?_

"No, despite being born too early and too small, she looks healthy." Another voice responded. "Would you like to hold your new baby girl?"

"No! I don't hold it!" The first voice screamed out. _What is going on?_ "I don't want to hold anything that bastard created!"

"Stop that!" Voice number two admonished the first. "The baby may be a product of rape, but she is also as much you as she is of that man. You are her mother and you should behave as such."

In that instant, I understood everything. I was that baby, that product of rape. I was a misplaced soul that should have passed on.

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><p>I normally don't write fiction stories, so this is my first fan fiction. If you have any suggestions, ideas, complaints, or anything else, just leave them in the review section.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Perhaps family itself, like beauty, is temporary, and no discredit need attach to impermanence."

― Gregory Maguire, _A Lion Among Men_

My new mother detested my very existence. Despite showing me her hatred of me every chance she got, I could not blame her. She was a young 15 year old girl with a natural beauty who was raped and was not only forced to give birth to that man's child, but also forced to care for and raise that same child. My new mother only fed me and held me when her mother forced her to. As a result, I was smaller and weaker than most premature babies. It was nothing short of a miracle that I even survived the first few months of my new life.

While my new mother treated me abysmally, I found that I could not bring myself to hate her. I could not connect that the person she was treating so terribly was me. I could not connect myself to this baby. This baby is not me. This baby is me. I could look at my reflection and feel like I was looking at another person and not myself. Who is this person? Who am I? Am I and the baby the same person? Are we two separate people? This person is a Japanese baby girl living in the Edo period in Japan. I was a young Chinese woman in the 21st century living in the United States. Are we really the same?

Being reborn in the past was mind boggling, but not as much as the issue of language. Despite only being fluent in English and Mandarin Chinese upon death, upon rebirth I was instantly able to understand Japanese while retaining knowledge of my previous languages. Is a person suppose to be able to remember his or her past life along with all that knowledge? Is a person even suppose to be reborn in the past? Wouldn't that mess up the flow of history? A thousand question with no answers. I'm willing to bet this is some cosmic joke to someone out there.

I've also wondered why my new mother did not kill me. Was it because her mother would not approve? No, it couldn't be that. She could have easily killed me and claimed it was some form of wildlife that killed me. It would have been all too believable since we lived on a farm in the countryside. The reason was most likely that she did not have the heart to kill. Despite her complete hatred of me, she was soft. She would cry if she was instructed to slaughter a chicken for the evening meal. She was too soft, too gentle, and cried far too easily. She did not deserve to be stuck with a bastard child.

But even the soft and gentle-hearted have breaking points. On the night of my ninth month of life, my new mother was taking a stroll with me in her arms by the river that ran through our small farming village. There was a small abandoned fishing boat on the riverbank. After a minute of staring at the boat, she walked to the boat and placed me in it. She pushed the boat off the riverbank and the boat traveled downstream. That was the last time I saw that woman ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Chance. Stupid, dumb, blind chance. Just a part of the strange mechanism of the world, with its fits and coughs and starts and random collisions."

― Lauren Oliver, _Before I Fall_

The boat travel down the river through the entire night and by the time the boat washed up on another riverbank it was midmorning. Most people in that situation would be frightened, but I was strangely calm through the ordeal. I have already died once; I had no fear of dying a second time. I had nothing to lose in this life so far and if I did die again then I may have finally gotten some damn answers to my thousands of questions. However, it seems that I was not fated to die a second time just yet.

The boat washed up on the riverbank of another small farming village by the name of Kami-Ishihara. I lied in small fishing boat for less than an ten minutes before someone found me. A boy, 12 years of age at the time, found me as he ran by the river. He yelled in panic as he grabbed me and ran to his father and older brothers.

"T-This is terrible!" He continued to yell with his loud and obnoxious voice. _If I'm going to die again, at least let me die in peace. I don't need a boy manhandling me and yelling in my ear as I die._

"Who would abandon a baby in a place like that?! Father, Otojiro-nisan, Kumezo-nisan we need to do something or the baby will die!"

"Oh no, the poor little thing. Though I doubt there is little we can do. She looks so small and sickly. Even if we try to help her, she will still die." The oldest man replied.

"Father is right, Katsu-chan. She looks like she won't even make it past the night." _You should listen to your older brother and father, little boy. And stop twitching! You are very uncomfortable to be held by._

"Don't use -chan with my name! It's not manly! What am I even saying- We can't let her die! Look she's still alive! She should have a chance at life too!"

The oldest man, I believe was the father, sighed tiredly and decided to humor his youngest son who refused to let go of me.

"Alright, but you have to take care of her yourself. From now on, she is yours." _I may be dying old man, but I demand that you rephrase that statement. I am nobody's pet._ But to be completely fair, he probably thought I was going to die during the night and therefore there would not be much of a difference if they kept me or not.

"You won't regret it Father! She'll be my daughter!" The boy exclaimed loudly with a smile. Oi! Kid, aren't you a little young to be a dad? "I'll name you Shizuka since you are the quietest baby I have ever seen!"

The year was 1846. The boy who had found was Miyagawa Katsugoro, the man the world would come to know as Kondou Isami and the leader of the Shinsengumi.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn't quite as spectacular."

― Lisa Lutz, _The Spellmans Strike Again_

I surprised the family by surviving the night. When the father expressed his surprise, boy whom was now my new father, boasted proudly in a large voice, "Of course she did! I have a strong daughter!"

Even though Miyagawa Katsugoro was young boy, he was a good father. Since entering the Miyagawa household I was always taken care of. I never went hungry, was never cold, and never lacked attention. The rest of the family, in time came to accept me as one of their own. In the span of a single year had everyone wrapped around my pinkie. But on the other hand, I didn't want to be accepted. I didn't want to get close to anyone, least of all my new father. He was to become known as Kondou Isami, the man who would lead the Shinsengumi and the man who was to be beheaded in the end. I didn't want to be close to a father who would kill others and, most of all, one who would be ripped away all too fast.

As the result of my reluctance to grow close to my new father, I was quiet and distant from everyone regardless of their kindness. I was never rude and I obeyed what they told me to do out of respect for the kindness they had when they took me in, but I never connected with my new uncles or my new grandfather. My new father was not discouraged with my attitude, no matter how distant and quiet I was. He adored me and always tried to spoil me and in time his efforts were rewarded. I grew to love him back, but my love for him was always lacking. I never seem to be able love him as much as I did with my original father in my past life.

In 1848, two years after I came into the lives of the Miyagawa family, my father left his family's farm to train as a live-in-student at Shieikan. As the stubborn fool he was, he refused to leave his daughter behind and decide that he would take me with him. Shieikan Hall was no place for a nearly three year old girl. Shieikan was the main dojo for the Tennen Rishin-ryu sword style. I did not belong here; swords and a _girl_ toddler do not mix. But life at the dojo was not difficult. No one picked on me or bothered me because I did not behave as the little girl everyone thought I was. I was too quiet, possessed too small of presence, and in the end some people even began to doubt that I even existed. I was more of a ghost than a little girl in the eyes of members of the dojo.

Since coming to the dojo, Father's talent for swordplay became more blatantly obvious. After witnessing the amount of skill Father had with a blade, the master of the dojo wasted no time adopting Father as the heir. From that moment forward, Miyagawa Katsugoro became Kondou Isami. The year was 1849.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Tragedies don't interest me, tragedies and heartbreaks are all alike, what matters is how a person meets them, how they survive them. Given the inevitability of losses and disappointments in life, that's where the challenge is and the uniqueness. I was offering [her] sympathy."

― Dorothy Gilman, _Incident At Badamya_

The year was 1853; I was seven years old and a medical genius in everyone's eyes. When I was four years old I decide I should write down my medical knowledge from my past life so it would not be forgotten. One night, my father came back to our room early and caught me writing. There was no one in history that has ever boasted so loudly and obnoxiously. By next day everyone in the dojo and everyone in the neighborhood knew. Though I was an acclaimed genius by those around me, my role in the dojo did not change. As I grew older I was entrusted with some chores in the dojo, if anything, I was more of a ghost servant than a genius with an important role.

"Shizu-chan, where are you? There is someone I want you to meet!" Father's voice rang through the dojo one evening before dinner.

I peeked around the corner of the wall to see if I could get a glimpse of a possible hint to what Father wanted. I just really hoped Father wasn't going throw me on to the roof again just to scare the cat living there...

"Ah! There you are. Come over here and meet the dojo's newest live-in-student. This is Okita Souji," he said as he pointed to a boy that was slightly older than me before continuing, "and this is my daughter, Kondou Shizuka. Don't be fooled about her small size, she's only two years younger than you!"

I bowed and replied with a small voice, "It is a pleasure to meet Okita-san. I hope we will all get along well."

Said boy did not respond nor did he look very happy. Then again, nine years old is too young to start as a live-in-student at a dojo. His young age, the amount of luggage at his side, the sorrow present on his face, and the fact that the relative that dropped him off did not stay longer to see him settled in spoke volumes. His family was probably facing rough times and most likely could not afford to keep him. He was a child that was given away under the guise of a live-in-student.

Father chuckled before saying, "There's no need to act so formal with each other Shizu-chan. You and Souji should just call each other by each other's first name." Then he turned to the boy, "You too Souji. There is also no need to be shy. Go ahead and say hi, we'll all be living together from now on."

Father was always bit like a bull in a china shop. While he could gather an understanding of the basics of what was going on, he often ignored it and continued on with what he had in mind. He could never read the mood properly and always plowed through everything with a big, stupid smile on his face.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay here." The boy replied in a monotone voice, "Please take care of me."

"Alright! Now that we all know each other, Shizu-chan why don't you take Souji to the room he will be staying in and help him get settled in while I go check on dinner." And with that, Father left me with the bitter boy.

"Please follow me to your room."

"..."

We arrived at his room in total silence. What do you say to a boy that was not yet ten years of age and already abandoned by his family? Do I try to comfort him and say I understand what he was going through because I too was abandoned? No, there was nothing I could say to him to make this situation any better. While I too had technically been abandoned, I could not say that I understood what he is going through. I could never, even after all these years, connect myself with that baby that was abandoned in that boat. I never felt like _I_ was the one that woman abandoned.

"You don't have to stay here to help me get settled in like Kondou-san said to." The boy's voice cut through the thick silence that settled between us, "I don't need your help."

"I know."

"Then why are you still here? I don't need your pity either."

"I'm not pitying you. Pitying others is a waste of time and energy. The world continues moving regardless of misfortune bestowed to individuals living in it."

"Then what is your reason for still being here?"

"I am bored and just simply following Father's order to pass time."

"..."

We continued to unpack his clothing in total silence until we were called to dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows."

― Audrey Hepburn

Unlike for me, Souji's life in the dojo was a difficult one. Even though he lived at the dojo as a live-in-student, he was treated more like a servant. He did not take any classes with the other students and was often stuck with me doing the all the chores around the dojo. During this time, I never once saw him smile or have any other facial expression besides gloominess. Father had tried to get Souji to cheer up, but failed connect to him in the end. The students saw his constant unhappiness and treated him quite differently from me. While the students of the dojo barely even acknowledged that I existed, they constantly bullied and beat Souji. He was known to the older students as the pity case and they spared no expense make sure that he was aware of it.

"Aww, look at the mutt eating his meal." The leader of a gang of six students gushed patronizingly as they approached Souji.

I had spent past two weeks, since Souji's arrival, watching him endure the taunting and the beating of the older students. I never interfered as I watched as the invisible shadow in the corner of the room. Souji claimed upon his arrival at the dojo that he did not want my help. I did not want to insult him by offering help when it was one of the first things he had ever said to me. But still, watching him endure that kind of treatment was hard to stomach. Watching and not stopping this treatment made me feel guilty, like I was the one committing the offense. _How could these people be so cruel to Souji? How is it that kids can be so mean?_

"Look at your master when he's talking to you mutt!" One of the other boys yelled as the leader kick over the food tray, sending all of Souji's food flying to the floor.

"Who said you could eat in this room mutt? Lowly dogs like you aren't allowed to eat in the same room as we do even when we're not here."

"Such a disobedient mutt. Don't you think we should punish the dumb thing?" The fat boy in the back of the group said.

"Of course we must! If we don't punish the mangy mutt, he'll never learn!" The leader said with sadistic glee as he kicked Souji down and continued to kick the younger boy in the stomach, prompting the other older boys to join in.

No. Even if Souji had told me not to help him, I can no longer just watch any of this continue to happen.

"You little boys are just like weak dogs." My small but steely voice cut into the room, "Fearful of everything that moves and only have the courage to attack their own shadows in large packs. It make me wonder how such a bunch weakling came to learn swordplay at a dojo."

The world froze as all the older students and Souji stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me.

"What did you say you little bitch?! Why don't you repeat that louder so that we could all hear you properly!" The leader growled at me with anger flaring behind his eyes.

"Leave her alone! It's me you want, not her!"

"Shut up mutt! No one gave you permission to speak!" The fat one yelled as he kicked Souji in the stomach once more.

"Oh? Not only are the weak little dogs stupid, but they're deaf as well. Such a fatal combination. It is a miracle that any of your mothers managed to keep all of you alive this long. Or is it that your mothers got so tired of taking care of your stupidity that they decided to leave you boys at a dojo in hopes that you could be taught intelligence along with swordplay?"

As soon as I was finished speaking my piece, the leader flew at me with rage. One side effect from being a trauma surgeon in my past life was that I become all too aware of how fragile the human body is. A single cut here or a single hit there can be enough to disarm the entire body. With observation and application of skill in the right place and time, even a person without self-defense training could defeat a powerful, blind charging fool.

Blinded with rage and overconfidence, the leader did not see me shift a little to stick out my foot. As he tripped over my foot I slammed the palm of my hand into his nose, careful not to shift my palm upward. He howled in pain as he backed up, holding his broken nose in his hands.

"H-How dare you! I'll tell the Master of your actions!" One of the older students yelled back at me as the rest went to go hover around their leader.

"You oblivious fools!" I yelled back, "Whimpering and and whining at every small injury that hurts! Are you not students at a dojo learning to wield a katana? You may all one day wield real katanas and join in fights or battles that will not end unless you or your opponent is dead. The function the katana is kill and to wield a katana is to kill the other person before he kills you. If none of you cannot handle a little pain then none of you deserve to be here." I finished quietly.

"I-I'll get you for this!" The leader yelled back through his tears and broken nose before he ran away with all five of his followers running behind him.

"I told you I didn't need your help." Souji groaned from fetal position on the floor.

I knelt down beside Souji to examine his wounds.

"I know, I'm just ignoring what you said."

"What type of girl are you? Ignoring an injured persons wishes…" Souji said bitterly.

"Whether you like it or not, in the past two weeks since you have been here, we have worked on every chore and task together. We have taken most of our meals together and we live in the same building. You are my partner in this dojo and my friend outside of the dojo. I will have to be dead first before I stop helping my partner and friend." I responded gently as I sat him up and began to tend to his wounds.

"... Such words from an undersized girl…Thank you..."

"There is no need to say 'thank you' to me. I care what happens to you and I am only expressing it."

"... I should clean up the food on the floor before you take care of my wounds. I don't want to cause more trouble."

"Just leave it and let me take care of your wounds first. When I'm done with your wounds, go rest in your room and I'll clean up the mess. I'll bring more food to your room when I'm done cleaning here."

"That student with the broken nose will go to Kondou-san to get treatment. He will feel too much shame to tell anyone that a seven year old girl broke his nose, but are you not afraid he will make good on his promise to get you back?" Souji asked with barely noticeable concern in his eyes. "If he decides to get serious when he attacks you next time you won't stand a chance. You're too small and you won't have enough strength in that body of yours to repel him."

"There are more ways than one to win battles. You don't have to be able to fight physically to win." I stated as I continued with a small smile, "Besides, I'm more ghost than little girl. He won't be able to find me even if I was standing in plain sight in the same room. I have too little presence to be detected and fade into the background much too easily. Even if he was actively looking for me and with help, he would never be able to find me without your help or Father's."

"Heh. You're quite dangerous despite your small size and innocent look." Souji said as a small rueful smile began to form on his lips too.

"Oh? I was never innocent in the first place. Yosh, I'm done with your wounds now so you should go get some rest in your room while I get started on cleaning this mess up."

"Alright." He said as he stood up and began walking toward the exit of the room. "Oh, by the way, I'm going to ignore what you said earlier." He began with mischievous voice. "Thank you."

"Cheeky boy," I muttered under my breath as Souji left room, "you aren't allowed to use my own words against me."

Since **that **incident, Souji started coming to me every time after the older students beat him. He did not need to speak to me or tell what happened and I did not need to speak to him. He would just sit in front of me quietly as he allowed me to tend to his wounds in silence. I never again stepped into his battles with the older students. Those battles were for him to win and I believed that Souji would win. Souji, in the end, did win battle that won the war and it was at this point he started to trust in Father. It was at that point he began to smile again. It was at this point, Souji, began to live again.

Several months after **that **incident, Shuusai-sensei, the current master of the dojo, decided to have practice match with Souji and an older student. The student that Souji was facing in this practice match was the same student that was the leader in **that **incident. Souji had an unpleasant but determined look on his face when he was told about this practice match. He was probably thinking that this was just chance for crooked-nosed student beat him more with a bokken, but only this time there was a chance to fight back. Yes, I did say crooked-nosed student. After I broke his nose, it never healed straight and now he had a constant twang in voice whenever he spoke, but that's besides the main point.

I sat beside Father during this match. Father wanted Souji to be able to see me during the match because of the quiet mutual trust that had developed. He wanted Souji to see that I would be his support during his match.

The match began and it was immediately very clear that Souji was at a disadvantage. The difference in physique was huge. Souji was much smaller than the older student. Crooked-nose smirked as he lunged at Souji. Within minutes, Souji obtained an injury to the forehead. The injury on his forehead was superficial, but it bleed profusely and the blood was more than likely blocking his sight.

"Call off the match! Someone go get some ointment that stops bleeding!" Father yelled frantically as moved to stand up. I gently grabbed Father's hand to stop him from getting up.

"I'm fine! I can still fight!" Souji yelled back to Father. This was an important match to Souji and he was determined to finish it.

"But you're..."

"It's just a small cut. Nothing serious." Souji wiped the blood off his forehead with the back of his hand as he pleaded, "So please! Let me finish!"

As father was about to retort, I tugged on his hand to gain his attention, "Father, this match is important to Souji, so please let him finish. Do not worry so much about his injury either. While the cut is bleeding a lot, the cut is superficial and is nothing serious."

Father stared at me for a few seconds before returning his gaze to Souji and replying, "I see. But if there is further danger, I'll call off the match."

"Thank you very much." Souji said before glancing at me and giving me a small nod.

The match continued until Souji's strikes began to overpower the older student. Then came the strike that caused the older student to drop his bokken. When Crooked-nose made movement to pick up his bokken, Souji aimed at the older student's solar plexus. Crooked-nose collapsed with a groan, but Souji did not stop. He continued to hit the older student with his bokken until Father stopped with a hug.

"Stop it. You've already won. So please, stop it."

"I... I won?"

"You've done well. You're really... really great." Father's voice was shaky and his eyes held unshed tears as he spoke to Souji.

"Kondou-san, your kimono will get blood-stained."

"It doesn't matter. With the small body of yours, you've worked so hard."

There was a small moment of silence before Souji responded, "Kondou-san had never called me a 'poor thing'."

"Eh?" Father did not understand why Souji had said that.

"Even if my parents died, and even if I can't see my sister again, there must be a meaning to it. That's what Kondou-san said. I think now I get it." Souji explained and then continued, "I'm here to become stronger, for Kondou-san's sake."

I walked up to the two hugging people and tugged on Father's sleeve to gain his attention before speaking, "Father, Souji's cut is still bleeding. Please let me take him to another room to treat his injury."

"Ah!" Father yelled, "I forgot about that! We need to hurry and treat his injury! Shizu-chan you're in charge of taking care of his injury while I check on the other student!" And with that, Father leaped into action.

I took Souji's hand and led him to the room right next to the main hall. He sat on floor as I went to go get my first aid kit. When I returned, I knelt in front of him and began to disinfect the cut.

"You were really amazing." I said softly as I broke the silence, "Not many people can overpower a larger opponent."

"I only overpowered him because you and Kondou-san gave me the chance to do so. Thank you."

"I told you once before that you don't have to say 'thank you' to me."

"And I already told you that I'm ignoring what you said."

"You can't use my own words against me. That's really unfair."

"Nobody said I couldn't. Besides I already said it and a person can't take back their words."

We continued in playful banter as I fixed his wound when I noticed Souji had began smiling sometime during our conversation. It wasn't a fake smile people would give to others to prevent worrying, but a true genuine smile of happiness.

"Your finally smiling." I said quietly in response to the big bright smile on his face.

"I am."

"You should smile more often. I like it when you're happy."

At my words, Souji faintly turned red before he turned away and responding, "Well if Shizuka says so then I will."

I giggled at his response. Souji was really adorable when he was like this. I think I will spend much of my time in future embarrassing him like this just to see his cute reaction.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely."

― C.G. Jung

_Why can't I move? Why is there so much blood? Oh, all of this blood belongs to me. I don't understand. What's going on?_

_"She's wake! Hello?! Miss?! Miss?! Can you hear me?!"_

_A voice... I don't recognize it._

_"Why... why am I bleeding so much? I don't understand."_

_Why can't I speak louder? What happened to my strength? Where did it all go?_

_"You're going to be fine miss. You were just in a car accident. We'll get you out of here and get you to a hospital to get treatment."_

_"Where are the hydraulic cutters?! We need them now!"_

_"Shit! There's a slab of metal skewering her lower abdomen! It went all the way through her and the seat!"_

_"She's hemorrhaging!"_

_"How?! We have touched that piece of metal yet!"_

_"It must of shifted when we pulled that other car off!"_

_Oh... this is it. This is what death is. I don't want to die yet. I still have so much I want to do. No, I don't want to die yet._

_"We need to get her out now!"_

_"Her legs are stuck! We can't get her out!"_

_"She's going into shock!"_

_"Miss?! Miss?! Stay with us! Can you hear me?! Miss?! Miss—"_

_Why is it so silent? Why is it so cold? Why is it so dark?_

I shot into sitting position on my futon. I was covered in cold sweat and could not stop shaking. That nightmare— No, that memory. Since being reborn, I would often ponder about my own death in my previous life, but I have never before dreamt about it. In that dream, I could feel that piece of metal as it went through me and pinned me to that car seat. I could feel my blood flowing uncontrollably out of my body. I could remember my desire to live and crushing cold truth of knowing that I was going to die. That memory— I don't want to be able to recall the sensations of death, I don't want to be alone right now.

I looked at the futon that was next to mine. Father was still sleeping soundly and completely unaware of his surroundings. Much like I did in my previous life, I never moved much in my sleep. Whenever I fell asleep it was always like corpse replaced me. I would fall asleep in one position and wake up the next morning in that very same position no matter what dream or nightmare I may have had during the night. Despite having the mind of an adult, I was physically an eight year old child. I had every right to wake up my father by sneaking into his futon to gain comfort, but I didn't. Father had a degeiko to preside over tomorrow and needed to be well rested for tomorrow. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself walking quietly toward the door of our bedroom and floating down the hallway. I couldn't think rationally anymore. All I knew is that I need someone to comfort me.

When my feet finally came to a stop, I was standing outside of Souji's room. I quietly slid the door open before I just stopped and stared. Although I could not think clearly earlier, my brain started to recover some of its functions. I can't bother Souji right now. He has to join that degeiko as a participant tomorrow. I'll make him tired if I wake him right now and he won't be able to perform well tomorrow if he is tired.

As if he could feel my stare in his sleep, Souji woke up and looked at me before I could slide the door closed and leave.

"... Shizuka?" He murmured before rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

Before I could stop myself, tears started to form in my eyes and trickled down my face. The moment Souji saw those tears he started to panic. He got out of his futon in a hurry, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into his room before sliding the shut the door.

"W-What's wrong? D-Did something happen?" Souji asked in a panic.

As soon as I heard Souji speak, more tears started to appear as I started to lose control over my tears.

Souji looked like a deer in the headlights as his panic evidently started to grow. He stared at me wide-eyed for a few seconds before he took my hand again and led me to his futon. He sat both of us down before he asked me gently, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Finding that I could not answer him vocally yet, I just merely nodded.

"Talking about it will make you feel better. What was it about?" Souji prodded me gently, encouraging me to tell him about my nightmare.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him so badly that it hurt, but how could I? How could I tell someone else that I dreamt about my own death from my past life? How could I tell someone that I could remember everything from my past life that I didn't belong here? No, I couldn't tell anyone without the fear of being considered crazy. But still, I wanted to be comforted and if I didn't tell Souji anything he would feel hurt and I would remain stuck in my state of turmoil the entire night. So I lied to him about what I dreamt about.

"I dreamt of a memory I'm not supposed to even be able to remember." I started as Souji continued to look at me. "I dreamt about the night my mother abandoned me and left me to die..."

At that moment the dam broke and I started sobbing. That dream about my death I had earlier confirmed to me that I really did die, that everything that has happen was all truly real. At that moment I became more connected to what was now my body than I had ever been before. It was like somebody flip a switch and everything came crashing down on me. This life is not my original life, but it is still mine. My mother hated me because I was a product of rape. I committed no crime but was still blamed. She hated **me**. She abandoned **me**. She wanted **me** to die.

Within a matter of seconds, since I started sobbing, Souji pulled me into a hug and let me cry into his hippari. It must have been disgusting, snot and tears mixing together and running down my face and on to his sleepwear, but he didn't say anything as he held me in his arms until I stopped crying.

"S-Sorry about y-your c-clothing." I hiccup as I started to calm down.

"You don't need to apologize for that." He said as he released me from his hug. He took his sleeve and used it to dry my face before he continued softly, "Kondou-san is your father, right? What do you mean by your mother abandoned you and left you to die?"

Souji, like everyone else, assumed that Father was actually my biological father even though Father would have had to be 12 years old when I was born. The rumor flying around the dojo and the neighborhood was that I was a child produced by Father and his childhood sweetheart and that the reason I was with Father and not my mother was because the relationship fell apart and could not be fixed with marriage. I fell under Father's care when he left my mother because she could not care for me. Because Father never told anyone the truth and never said anything to disclaim the rumors, everyone came to accept the rumor as the truth.

"F-Father is not my actual biological father." I told Souji as my hiccuping came under control. "He found me in an abandoned fishing boat that washed downstream and landed on the riverbank in his village."

After I told him that, I found that I could not look him in the eyes anymore and shifted my gaze to the floor as an unbearable sense of shame filled me. Souji put his hand under my chin and forced me to look him in the eye before saying gently, "That woman made the worst possible mistake."

He used the same hand under my chin to brush the hair out of my face before resting it on my cheek as he continued, "She has no idea of the treasure she threw away night."

I couldn't stop the small smile that began forming on my lips after he said those words.

"You're much cuter when you smile than when you're crying." He said teasingly before switching to a more serious tone. "I know you and Kondou-san didn't tell anyone because both of you don't want anyone to know. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Thank you." I whispered gratefully as I reached over to hug him again.

We remained locked together in embrace for a couple of seconds before he noted out loud, "Your hug was unusually long. You don't want to go back to your room, right?"

Even though he asked it as a question, it was really a statement.

"If you don't want to go back then you should just stay here for the night."

"But you have practice and class tomorrow. If I stay here I'll be bothering you and you won't be able to sleep well."

"If you don't stay here then I'll worry all night and I won't be able to sleep at all. Stop being so stubborn and stay here."

"... I'm not being stubborn…"

"Yes, you are."

"..."

"..."

"Okay, I'll stay…" I sighed in defeat as Souji began to puff himself up like a peacock, obviously pleased with his victory.

We both got under the blanket on his futon. I curled into his side and was lulled to sleep by the sound of his breathing.

I awoke to the chirping of birds and the sunlight hitting my face as it came through the window. Souji was no longer in the room. Going by how bright it was outside, it was most likely the hour of the dragon. That mental breakdown I had the night before had really drained my energy, I haven't felt that tired since my board exams in past life. I folded up the futon and went back to mine and Father's room to get dressed. I usually always woke up in the hour of the tiger, so the amount of time I overslept by was about five hours.

_I was such a mess last night_, I thought to myself as I pulled on my yukata. _I have the mental age of an adult but I broke down in tears in the arms of a ten year boy last night. How embarrassing_. _But I'm an eight year old kid now. I shouldn't have to be feel so embarrassed, after all, Souji is technically older than me._ After what happened last night I decided to accept this new life. The woman that died in the 21st century and girl living now in 1854 were two physically different people, but at the same time we were the same person in spirit and mind.

As soon as I finished dressing I headed towards the main dojo. _I slept in so late, I wondered what happened to all the chores I was suppose to do? I'll worry about that later, I'm hungry. _I arrived at the practice hall and observed the people that were inside or rather the people that should have been inside. The room was empty except for one man by the name of Inoue Genzaburo.

Inoue Genzaburo was a balding man that wore his remaining hair in a topknot. He was older than Father and came to the dojo almost daily to practice swordplay. While he was not as strong as Father, Inoue Genzaburo was still incredibly skilled with a blade. _And also really nice_, I added as a sidenote.

"Good morning Inoue-san!" I greeted him cheerfully.

"Well isn't it little Shizuka-chan. Aren't you cheerful this morning. I think this is the first time you have ever greeted me so cheerfully." Inoue-san greeted me back with a smile.

"Where is everyone today? I thought there was suppose to be a degeiko here today." I voiced my confusion.

"Ah, yes there was. The teacher of the other school came down with a cold late last night and the degeiko had to be called off this morning. Since there were no classes scheduled because of the degeiko, all the students went home for the day." He answered.

"Oh! There you are!" I turned to source of the new, loud voice. Father stood in the doorway holding three cups of tea and manju buns on a tray. Souji, standing next to Father, looked at me curiously.

"Are you feeling better now? I couldn't find you this morning. Souji told me you were rather upset because of a nightmare you had last night. Are you feeling better now?" Father asked.

I replied with the same amount of cheerfulness I greeted Inoue-san with, " Good morning Father! Good morning Souji! I'm feeling better now. I'm sorry for worrying both of you." I finished with a small bow to accompany my apology.

"Ah, no need to apologies, right Souji? We're both just glad you're alright. Although, you're quite amazing Souji." Father said while he turned to Souji. "I've never seen Shizu-chan so happy. It's great how you're such a good friend to her."

Souji smiled, clearly enjoying Father's complement, as he replied. "She came to my room crying last night. I would have never been able to sleep if I didn't do something to stop those tears."

A loud growl rudely interrupted the conversation going on in the room. I flushed a bright red color as I stared at the floor while everyone else turned to stare at me.

"... Was that your stomach?" Asked Inoue-san after a short pause.

"That was really loud…" Added Souji.

"You didn't eat breakfast yet?" Asked Father right after Souji finished speaking.

"Umm… No? Actually I just woke up." I was still as red as a beet.

"Now that won't do." Father said as he walked into the room to sit besides Inoue-san. Souji followed in suit before Father waved me over.

I walked over and sat down across from Father and next to Souji before Father continued, "Here, eat my snack. It should be enough to tie over until lunch."

"Shouldn't I do my chores first?"

"Don't worry about your chores for today; they'll still be waiting for you tomorrow. So just eat for now."

"Okay." I obeyed Father. I ate while talking cheerfully with everyone. The morning was peaceful.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;

It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock

The meat it feeds on."

― William Shakespeare, _Othello_

It was the summer of 1856, the cicadas were singing as I stepped out of the dojo to do some grocery shopping. In the past few years I had grown rather close to Father and Souji, but no matter how large the growth of my personal relationship were, my physical growth was still... somewhat stunted. _I'll be forever short_, I thought amusingly. In my past life I had always made fun of my little brother for being so short. _I guess what they say about karma really is true. It'll always come back to bite you in the ass_. I only made it few step away from the dojo before a voice stopped me.

"Shizuka-chan!"

I turned to see a young boy by the name of Tsubaki Isao waving and running towards me. Tsubaki Isao was one year older than me and the son of a man that frequented dojo regularly to practice swordplay. When his father first started to come to the dojo, he brought Isao-kun with him. Isao-kun never held any interest in learning how to wield a sword, so instead of watching his father practice, he would always wander the grounds looking for someone to play with. This is why Father decided to introduce the two of us. Since I never really acted like a child, Father thought it would be good for me to play with someone around my age.

After introductions, we became fast friends. Well, at least in his case. The reason I did not "play" with other kids was because I was mentally past that stage. Seriously, why would someone with an adult mind enjoy playing with petulant little children? I personally had no patience to deal children that were still in the stage of figuring out how the world worked. The only reason I merely tolerated Isao-kun was because he reminded me of my little brother from my past life. If there was a kid I did truly get along with then it would have been Souji, and that was only due to his mental maturity.

It was very clear that Isao-kun thought of me as his friend, so I often felt guilty whenever I saw him. Instead of considering him as a friend, I just really just thought of myself as his babysitter. Sure, he did remind me of my little brother and I treated him like it, but no matter what, he was not my little brother.

"Good morning Isao-kun. Did you eat breakfast today? I hope you didn't skip eating just because you were too impatient to wait for it to cool."

"Yes I did! You know you don't have to worry about so much." He answered back impatiently with a grin. "So where are you going?" He looked as if he was anticipating something.

"Oh, I'm going grocery shopping. I would like to make some daikon rice porridge for lunch today but we don't have any daikon radishes."

Isao-kun turned red before stuttering, "I-I can come with you! Well— uhh— you see— I-I mean the groceries might be too heavy for you and I c-can carry them for you."

"Huh? Are you okay Isao-kun? You're turning red, are you feeling sick?" _I hope he doesn't have a summer cold. Those things are nasty to deal with and, not mention, summer is the most uncomfortable season to have a cold._

"What? No! I'm fine! Come on, let's go!" He said a little bit too excitedly and too loudly.

"No, you can't go with her." A sharp voice cut through.

Wearing a hakama and holding his bokken in his right hand, Souji had stopped practicing in the courtyard and was standing next to the dojo's gate glaring at Isao-kun. Since bonding with Father after that practice match all those years ago, Souji had become extremely over territorial over Father's and mine attention. He had come to detest sharing the attention of the people he was fond of, so it was natural that he always tried to chase off anyone who took that attention away from him. I originally thought it was really cute in the beginning, but now it was just plain annoying. _Why did Souji have to become so territorial? _I thought as I braced myself for the eminent, incoming, verbal siege. _He's just like the neighbor's dog that became hostile towards the new puppy just because his owner brought the puppy home._

"I wasn't talking to you!" Isao-kun yelled back irritably. "Can't you see we were having a private conversation?"

"Is that so?" Sneered Souji. "Weren't you a bit too loud to make it a private conversation? A conversation isn't private when the whole world can hear it."

"You can't tell me what to do! I'm going with her! She's really small so she'll need a strong person to carry all the groceries!"

"Then shouldn't I be the one to go with her? I'm stronger than you. You don't even know how to swing a sword." They bickered back and forth without showing any signs of stopping anytime soon.

Then a third, feminine voice in the distance stopped the argument. "Isao! Where are you?! You're suppose to finish your chores before you run off to play!"

"You should go. Mommy is calling for you." A smug Souji said to Isao-kun.

Isao-kun glared at Souji before he turned to me and said apologetically, "I'll go with you next time." Before he ran off to go appease his mother.

As soon as Isao-kun ran off, Souji grabbed my hand with his left and started walking towards the market. "Come on, you said you needed to buy some daikon radishes, right?" He asked with an "innocent" face.

"Don't make that face at me." I scolded him. "It doesn't work on me."

"Eh? What face?" _Oh as if he doesn't know what I mean!_

"You know what I mean." Souji pouted as soon as I said that. "Why are you so mean to Isao-kun anyways?" I asked, despite knowing the answer.

"I don't know what you mean." Souji denied.

"Yes you do."

"Oh look. We're almost at the market."

"No we're not. The market is still two blocks away."

"It a matter of perspective. If you still think we aren't close to the market yet then maybe we should walk faster." Souji said as he increased his pace. I sighed and dropped the issue... for now.

"You've really improved at swordplay lately." I said, changing the subject.

"Really? You think so?" He asked happily, gaining a small spring in his step as we continued to walk towards the market.

It was all too easy to please Souji now a days. All I or Father really needed to was compliment him or praise him and he would content for the entire day. This also made it really easy for me to manipulate him into do things for me, like unpleasant job of cleaning the facilities.

"Uh huh." I nodded as I answered.

It wasn't a lie that he had improved lately. Ever since he started to learn the sword seriously, he had started to improve in leaps and bounds. He may have been really good with the sword before, but now he was absolutely amazing with it. He possessed more skill than all of the dojo's students combined together.

"You've improved at treating injuries too." He complimented me back.

Improved? More like fallen back into practice. Since being reborn, I've been slowly regaining my skills in medical care. Sure, it may have been years since I did any big, like operate on someone, but after all those years spent at med school, doing my internship and residency, all that knowledge would be hard to forget.

"So why the sudden want to eat daikon?" Souji asked, changing the subject once again. "We have plenty of other vegetables at home. You could just use the other vegetables to make today's lunch."

"Because it's Souji's favorite."

"You're cooking daikon today just because it's my favorite?" He asked. "Why?"

"You're always working so hard and I want to make sure you have enough energy to continue. Besides, what better way is there when I can get you to eat a lot just by cooking your favorite?" He looked at me, speechless. _Good, just a few more nudges before I can get __**him**__ to tell me why he dislikes Isao-kun._ Even though I did know why, I just wanted to hear him tell me why from his own mouth. I wanted the satisfaction of knowing that I could squeeze anything I wanted out of him. I **was** feeling a little bit vindictive today.

We arrived at the marketplace after a couple more minutes of walking. The marketplace in Edo was my favorite place to be. It was always filled with so many different colors, scents, and people, but most of all; it was always filled with life. After that little mental breakdown I had a few years back that had left me crying on Souji, I couldn't bear the feeling of being alone. Whenever there was no one in a room I would always move to a different room with people in it. It didn't matter if they acknowledge me or even realized I was there, just feeling the physical presence of someone comforted me.

"Let's go check those stores over there, they look promising." Souji dropped my hand and pointed to a cluster of stores selling produce northeast of the central market before walking towards the shops. I padded quietly behind him.

"That store has some daikon for sale." I said, tugging on his sleeve before walking towards the shop. "Hmm… This one is too old… This one isn't ripe yet… Ah! These two looks good. Auntie I would like these two please." I said before paying the woman running the store.

"Okay, let's go home, Souji." And we began walking back to the dojo in a comfortable silence.

"Tsubaki-kun likes you." Souji muttered quietly after we exited the market. _Oh? He spilled faster then I thought he would._

"I know he likes me. He wouldn't talk to me otherwise." I responded.

"No, I mean he has a crush on you." Souji stopped walking and was now looking me in the eye.

"Oh, so he has a crush on—Wait, what?!" I finished with a shocked yelp.

"Shizuka is always so smart, but you're always so oblivious to matters of the heart." Souji continued to look at me as his face gained a rueful look.

"Aww, I feel like a jerk now." Souji raised an eyebrow at my comment. "I always thought he was like a little brother I had to baby-sit."

Souji chuckled after that comment before asking hopefully, "If you feel bad about it, then shouldn't you stop spending time with him? It'll give him false hope."

"Eh? I don't think I need to go that far." And with that, Souji became irritated again. "I mean, it's not like I'll suddenly fall in love and elope with him."

At that moment, Souji's face became bone-crushingly dark as he muttered under his breath, "Elope?"

_Crap! I think Souji has selective hearing right now,_ I cringed at that thought. The look on his face just promised that there would be blood spilled tonight. Then, just as suddenly as that dark look appeared, it disappeared and was replaced with a suspiciously happy smile.

"I just remembered I have to do something," he said cheerfully, "why don't you head back first?" He sprinted off before I could say anything else to him.

_I know he's going to do something bad… I think I should have stopped him, but it's kind of too late to do that now. I have no idea where he is now. Should I just wait to see what will happen?_

Souji returned to the dojo overly cheerful just right before lunch.

"What are you smiling about? You look exactly like the cat that swallowed the canary." I questioned while squinting at him, looking for any possible hints.

"Hmm? I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just happy with what's for lunch today." He answered with a strangely smug face.

"Fine, keep your secrets. Even if you don't tell me, I'll just find out about whatever you did later."

The next day, when I saw Isao-kun with his father at the dojo, he was walking with a curious limp. When I tried to ask him what happened, he refused to look me in the eye or talk me. This went on for the rest of the week before I cornered him and got my answer.

"I think we should stop being friends." He mumbled before he left to go find his father. We never spoke to each other again.

I probably should have been royally pissed at Souji, but I found that I couldn't bring myself to be even a tiny bit mad. Well, it's not like what he did was completely terrible. I now had one less chore to take care of everyday.


	9. Chapter 9

I would like to say thank you to all those lovely people who left a review and please don't expect me to update as fast as I did yesterday. Seven of those chapters were written before I made a Fanfiction account. For those who are actually interested in this story, if possible, could you critique my OC? This is my first time writing an original character and I would like to improve. Oh, and please point out any grammar issues. Enjoy the new chapter~

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

"That's the ideal meeting...once upon a time, only once, unexpectedly, then never again."  
>― Helen Oyeyemi<p>

"So where are you going for your degeiko this time, Father?" I asked Father as I popped into the room like a weed. He was getting his things together as he prepared to leave.

"Huh? Oh! I'm going to go teach at the new dojo Satou Hikogorou built."

"Can I come?"

"I thought you said that you weren't interested in swordplay. Why the sudden interest now?"

"All I said was that I wasn't interested in learning. That doesn't mean that I'm not interested in the mechanics of the Tennen Rishin-ryu style. Besides, I haven't gone out in a while. So, can I come?" I continued to pester Father.

Father had received a request from Satou Hikogorou to go and teach for a week at the newly established dojo. While I truly wasn't interested in anything that dealt with the sword, I was bored. Souji now spent most of his time in classes or in practice and I was left with no one to talk to for most of the day. There were other people my age I could talk to around the neighborhood, but I had little desire to do so. All those other kids were now in the awkward stage of puberty. All the boys wanted do was talk about girls and show off their newly discovered masculinity. All the girls wanted to talk about were about boys, makeup, and their dream marriage. I had already gone through that stage of life before in my previous life and I felt no need to go through that stage again. And besides, I had a feeling that Father was going to meet someone interesting today. Maybe the person that Father might meet today would be interesting to talk to.

"Well," Father began, "I'm leaving right now and there's no time for you to pack. You can come next time."

_Boo. That's not the answer I was hoping for_, I thought disappointedly.

The disappointment must have showed up on my face because Father chuckled before patting my head, saying, "It's not **that** boring here. Be good and listen to Shuusai-sensei and Gen-san while I'm gone. And make sure Souji eats properly. He can't keep going out to eat dango."

"Fine," I pouted.

"Alright, I'm going now."

"Have a safe trip, Father." I bowed before watching Father exit the dojo and walk down the road.

_Now what should I do to kill time after I finish my chores? Should I go down to the market to listen to gossip? No, I did that yesterday. There's probably nothing new yet. Maybe I should go bug Inoue-san? He might have something interesting to talk about today._ This was going to be a **very** long week.

I tossed and turned in my futon, unable to sleep. It was only the first night of Father's absence and the sense of isolation was already creeping up my veins. Frustrated, I tossed back the covers and snuck over the Souji's room. I slid open the door and stared at Souji, willing him to wake up. Feeling my stare, he woke up and scooted over to one side of his futon before flipping open the opposite side. That was as much of an invitation I was going to get. I slid the door shut and shuffled over to the futon. I pressed myself into Souji's side before getting comfortable.

"Couldn't stand being alone?" He questioned me.

I shook my head as my response.

"You can sleep here until Kondou-san gets back." Souji didn't say anything else after that and went back to sleep.

When Father returned in the morning at the end of the week, he looked like a man in love.

"Welcome back home, Father." I said, curious to why he looked so happy. "Did something good happen while you were teaching? You look unusually happy."

"It's good to be back! Something good did indeed happen. I met someone. He's the brother-in-law of Satou-san."

According to history, Kondou Isami was supposed to marry a woman named Otsune. _I didn't know Father was interested in men. Was the marriage used to hide his interest or did I do something to screw up history?_

"I didn't know you were interested in men, Father." I said innocently. Father turned rather pale as soon as I finished speaking.

"What?!" He all but yelled before adamantly denying, "No, no, I'm not interested in men! All I meant was I made a new friend! A good friend!" _Oh, so I didn't screw up history._

"Oops, maybe you should be a bit clearer next time, Father." I replied, letting him know I believed him. "So what's his name?"

Father visibly relaxed, "His name is Hijikata Toshizo. He's really smart and pretty strong. I invited him over for some practice later today when he's finished with his job."

Hijikata Toshizo, the vice captain of the Shinsengumi and best friend of Kondou Isami, or so as history was recorded, was known to a strict person. My curiosity was peaked. History was always written by the living about people who were long since dead. Just who was this Hijikata Toshizo really like? Was he really as strict as the history books said he was? I wanted to meet him. I wanted to know just what he really was like and not see through the tinted lenses of what someone wrote.

"Can you introduce us?" I asked Father as I gave him the best puppy-eyes I could conjure.

"Hahaha! Sure! Shizu-chan might finally have someone else she can hold a conversation with!" Father laughed.

After finishing my conversation with Father, I left him alone so he could go do whatever task had to finish upon returning home. Some few hours past as the morning turned into the afternoon, I had spent my time finishing up all the chores that had to be done for the day.

"Hah!"

"Erk!"

I heard two voices accompanied by the sound of bokken clashing together as I passed a small practice room. _Strange, there should be classes going on right now. There shouldn't be anyone using that practice room right now._ I decided to peak into the room to see who the people practicing inside were. There were three people in that room. Inoue-san was seated on the floor as he watched two people spar. The two people locked in combat were: Father and a rather handsome young man that had his long hair tied up in a high ponytail. I saw Father glance at me as my head poked out from behind the wall before he stopped the spar.

"Ah! There you are Shizu-chan! I was just about to go find you myself." As Father spoke, the other man followed Father's gaze, his eyes widening slightly when he saw me.

"Come over here," Father waved me over with a grin, "you said you wanted me to introduce you to Toshi-san."

"Someone wanted to meet me?" The man with the ponytail asked as I shuffled over to where Father was.

"Toshi, this is my daughter, Shizuka." Father said as he gestured to me before gesturing back at the man. "Shizu-chan, this is Hijikata Toshizo."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hijikata-san" I said with a polite bow before turning to Inoue-san, "Good afternoon, Inoue-san."

"Ah, good afternoon to you too, Shizuka-chan," Inoue-san answered me first.

"It's nice to meet you too, Shizuka-chan." Hijikata-san replied after Inoue-san before turning to Father, "I didn't know you were married."

"Oh! I'm not married yet. Shizu-chan here isn't my daughter by blood, but I was the one that found and raised her." _Interesting, Father must have really connected with Hijikata-san if he can tell him this information after only knowing him for a week_, I thought as Father spoke with Hijikata-san.

"That was very generous of you! And you raised her so well, she's very polite." Hijikata-san said to Father. "But you said earlier that you were 'about to go **find** her **yourself'**. If Gen-san already knew who she was, why didn't you send him to get her?"

_He's just like Father said. He must be incredibly sharp if he caught that._

"Because I wouldn't have been able to find her," Inoue-san answered for Father.

"Eh?"

"Well," Father started to explain to Hijikata-san, "Shizu-chan has always had a small presence, so most people don't even notice her. In fact, she's more like a ghost than anything else! I have students here that assume that she even doesn't really exist! Souji and I are the only ones that can find her without any issue."

Hijikata-san looked at me with an impressed expression, "I didn't think a situation like that was even possible."

I sat in the room as I listened to all of the three men talk. Father was right about Hijikata-san, he was really intelligent. And just like the history books said, he was also very strict. But there were also things that were never mentioned. He was thoughtful and kind, he had passion. After meeting Hijikata-san, he no longer just seemed like a historical figure to me. He was a real person that had both strengths and weaknesses. He was no longer intangible.

After that day, Hijikata-san would always arrive at the dojo everyday around the same time to practice and talk with Father and occasionally Inoue-san. Souji, who was never around when Hijikata-san was here due to his classes, began to notice how enamored Father was with his new friend. Souji would always hear Father say things like, "Toshi this" and "Toshi that" or, "You must have had fun talking to Toshi today, Shizu-chan."

Frustrated with these new developments, Souji always cornered me right after each of his classes everyday forced me to tell him everything that happened. He grew more envious and moody with each day and with each piece of information I passed on to him. Finally, one day the class schedules were changed. One of the teachers had an aging mother that required more care and couldn't teach classes at the same allotted time anymore. Souji no longer had classes in the afternoon. The time he had free now was at the same time that Hijakata-san usually came to the dojo.

"It's good that the class times got rearranged," said Father to Souji as we all sat together eating lunch, "I'll finally get to introduce you to Toshi."

"Yes, I'm sure you'll like him." Inoue-san added in between bites of his meal. "Shizuka-chan likes him and she doesn't like very many people."

No, more like I didn't like most people my age.

"Yes, I'm sure I will," Souji lied with a smile. He was unable to control the unconscious twitch of his eyebrow.

And so came the fateful meeting of Souji and Hijikata-san.

"Toshi, meet my otoutodeshi, Okita Souji. Now Souji, your greetings." Father said cheerfully as he rubbed Souji's head.

"Good day, Hijikata-san. I've heard a lot about you from Kondou-san." _Oh, I can tell, this is going to be good._

"Oh. So what have you heard?" Hijikata-san replied with a question.

"Let's see... Things like he's already old enough but still tied to his married sister's apron strings, not getting a serious job, challenging dojos and forcing them to buy his family's medicine after beating them up, being smart but not using his wits in doing good, and stuff like that."

"What the... Kondou-san, you've been telling those to a kid like this?" Hijikata-san seemed pretty shocked.

"Err... No! I don't recall saying such things." Father looked confused at Souji's words as he tried to fix the situation.

"Isami-san would never talk about Toshi-san in such manner," Inoue-san defended Father.

"Of course not. Kondou-san wouldn't talk this way. I'm only saying what I want to say. I heard those from other older pupils." Souji explained with a smug smile starting to form on this face.

"Kid, tell you what. If you can't tell what's a stupid rumor and what's not, you'll never grow up to be a decent man," Hijikata-san offered as a piece of advice.

"If that means wondering around all day doing nothing but practicing sword, rather than getting a proper job, I'll be careful not to become one like you."

"Souji! Don't talk this way!" Father finally scolded Souji.

After watching that exchange, I couldn't help myself as I burst out into uncontrollable giggles. That was amusing to watch, Souji could be pretty quick-witted too when he wanted to be.

"Ehh?! Don't laugh, Shizu-chan!" Father scolded me as he kept looking back and forth between me and Souji.

Souji just stood there with a proud smirk.

After Souji and Hijikata-san met, a vicious cycle formed between the two. Souji would go out of his way just to annoy and tease Hijikata-san, while, in turn, Hijikata-san would yell at Souji frustratingly before sinking down to Souji's level of insults. However, that isn't to say that they didn't grow close to each other. Hijikata-san came to view Souji as the annoying little brother and Souji… well, came to see Hijikata-san as the pain-in-the-ass cousin that nobody wants to see during family reunions. This cycle continued for two years before Hijikata-san started to live at the dojo in 1859. After that, the cycle got a little bit… more vicious.

"Hey, what do you think of this haiku?" Souji asked me as he pointed to one in a journal that he obviously **stole** from Hijikata-san's room after **breaking in**.

"It's… pretty terrible."

"For such a smart man, Hijikata-san sure is bad at writing poetry, right? Hehehe, look at this one—"

"SOUJI!" A loud yell rang across the dojo. Looks like Hijikata-san discovered what Souji did.

Within a matter of seconds, the door of the room Souji and I were sitting in was slammed open with a loud bang.

"SOUJI! YOU BROKE INTO MY ROOM AGAIN AND STOLE MY HAIKU BOOK," Hijikata-san yelled furiously at Souji, "GIVE IT BACK!"

"Eh? No way, I'm not done with it yet~" Taunted Souji as he stood up, "Right, Shizuka?"

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled before scolding me, "DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM SHIZUKA!"

Souji danced away as Hijikata lunged him.

"Neh, Hijikata-san, Shizuka is always on my side so it's pointless to tell her such things~" Souji mocked Hijikata-san before running out the door with the book.

"SOUJI!" Hijikata-san yelled after Souji before giving chase, "GET BACK HERE!"

_It'll never be quiet around here again_, I thought with a sigh.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it."  
>― Candace Bushnell, <em>Sex and the City<em>

I sat on the floor inside the main practice hall of the dojo thinking hard on one of the biggest issues I had ever had to deal with.

"No, your posture is all wrong. If someone swings their sword at you this way, you won't be able to block it. Hey, Hijikata-san, you suck at teaching. The student you were teaching earlier still can't get the right posture."

"What are you talking about, Souji?! Not everyone is like you and able to get the correct posture right away." I heard in the background as I was got lost in my thoughts.

Ever since Father became the master of the dojo and Hijikata-san started living here, there have been a few changes to the dojo. The first change was that Shuusai-sensei was now retired and no longer taught anymore classes. The second change was that both Souji and Hijikata-san were now both instructors and had the responsibilities of teaching classes. The third and most important change was the decline of students at the dojo.

Ever since the Treaty of Amity and Commerce, or otherwise known as the Harris Treaty, was signed in 1858, the Japanese economy had been a mess. The price of ordinary goods and daily supplies skyrocketed as the result of open trade. With the price of daily living increasing, fewer and fewer students could afford to keep coming to the dojo. The number of request for degeiko had also decreased too. Another factor that added to the decrease in students was the epidemics that appeared with along side open trade. When the foreigners brought over new goods to Japan, they also brought over the diseases originating from the West. The decreasing number of students was worrisome. The amount of income the dojo produced was declining and if the trend continued then the dojo would be unable to remain open. However, though as troubling as the money situation was, that would be another issue for another day.

_Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP! This is all my fault! Why hasn't father met the woman he is supposed to marry yet?! According to history, he is supposed to get married in March of 1860. It's already 1859 and he still hasn't met his future wife yet! My existence in the past must have messed up something. I have to fix this somehow, but how?! No, wait! I need to find this woman first. Her name was Yasogoro Otsune and she was born in the warrior class. Her father was a retainer of the Shimizu family which was a Tokugawa Branch House… What else do I need to track down this woman? Let's see…_

"Shizuka?"

_I recall reading somewhere that Otsune was not really pretty. She supposedly had a harelip…_

"Shizuka? Can you hear me~?"

_Because she was aware of her facial imperfections, she was said to be humble and kind… She's three years younger than Father…_

"You should just hit her head to get her attention."

"Hijikata-san, **you** go hit **your **head. Don't tell me to hit her."

_I should start looking in the northern Edo market first, that's where all the more prominent people gather…_

"Fine, if you don't do it then I will."

_I should go take a look once both Souji and Hjikata-san are done teaching this class—!_

Someone knocked on my forehead and interrupted my thoughts. When vision came back into focus, Hijikata-san's face was right in front of mine.

"Umm… Hi?" Why was his face so close to mine? Did I miss something important?

"So you finally decided to rejoin reality." Hijikata-san sighed as he backed away and stood up again.

"Care to share about what had you staring off into space for the last couple of minutes? Class has been over for at least three minutes now and you were just sitting there, staring." Souji asked from behind Hijikata-san.

"Don't you think it's a bit strange how Father hasn't gotten married yet?"

"Hah?! That's what you were thinking about?" Souji looked at me like I was crazy.

"Don't you think that when and whether Kondou-san gets married should be up to him?" Hijikata-san questioned me with his eyebrows pinched together. How fortunate they must be to not have to worry about whether or not if the future gets **screwed** up.

_Well, class is over_ _now..._ "I should start looking for that woman now…" I muttered the last part of my thoughts out loud before jumping up and running out of the room. "There's something I need to do right now. I'll talk to you guys later." The two men wore confused stares as they watched me run out the door.

I arrived at the northern Edo market 42 minutes after I left the dojo. It was still the hour of the ram, so the marketplace was filled with plenty people and was rather lively. _Now where in the marketplace should I start?_ I pondered as my eyes swept the marketplace._ How about— Wait… Seriously?!_ Lo and behold the lovely work of Lady Luck. Standing about nine meters away, a well dressed young woman with a cleft lip, was examining some eggplants at a small shop.

_That was far too easy_, I thought as I narrowed my eyes at the woman. Maybe this was a different woman. There was no way it was going to be that easy to track down that woman that fast without help—

"Back again, Tsune-san?" The elderly man running the shop asked the woman.

_Tsune-san? Tsune isn't a full name… it's a nickname! The old man is just shortening her first name!_ I could not believe my luck. Seriously, what were the chances of situations like this existing? _Now how do I introduce Father and Otsune to each other?_

I braced myself for what I was about to do. I really just hoped that Otsune was really as kind as what was written down in the historical records. I really didn't want to get whipped for crashing into a woman of higher class.

Deciding to use my small physique to my advantage, I waited until Otsune left the store with her newly bought eggplant. As soon as it looked like she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking, I walked towards her at a quickened pace before I "accidentally" crashed into her. The force of the collision made me fall backwards and "sprain" my ankle.

"Ouch!" I cried with a fake pained voice before I started sniffling, making myself look absolutely pitiful.

"Oh no!" She gasped before she dropped everything she was holding to go check on me. "You're hurt! This is entirely my fault!" She looked at me wide-eyed in panic.

"Ow, my ankle. I can't get up by myself." I said with a small teary voice.

"I'm so sorry! Let me get you back home, it's the least I can do after I hurt your foot." She felt looked guilty for accidentally "injuring" a little girl. _Maybe I'm laying it on a bit too thick? No, this is good. Now all that's left to do is to allow her to take me back home._

"So, what's your name?" Otsune asked me while giving me a piggyback ride home.

"I'm Shizuka, it's nice to meet you!" I said, still acting like a little kid.

"My name is Yasogoro Otsune, but I prefer to be called by Tsune. I'm sorry for running into you earlier. It is nice to meet you too, Shizuka-chan." Otsune replied with a gentle smile. "How old are you, Shizuka-chan?"

"Oh, I'm 13." I said, finally stopping the little kid act as I revealed my true age. There was no point in continuing my act if she knew my real age.

"You're 13?! You're so small I thought you were nine!"

"Everyone says that. Oh, turn here. I live at the dojo right around this corner."

When we turned the corner, I saw Father and Hijikata-san at the gate of the dojo speaking with each other.

"Excuse me," Otsune said as she walked up to them.

"Oh! How can I help… Shizu-chan! What are you doing? Did you hurt yourself?" Father asked, alarmed.

"That was entirely my fault. I'm afraid I was not paying attention to where I was walking. I walked into her and she sprained her ankle when she fell." Otsune explained. "I thought the least I could do was take her home."

"Ah, I see. Toshi, can you take Shizu-chan inside and treat her ankle?"

"Sure."

Otsune passed me to Hijikata-san. I was carried into the dojo by Hijikata-san while Father and Otsune remained outside speaking to each other.

"Just what are you planning?" Hijikata-san asked with narrowed eyes as he placed me on the floor inside the dojo. "Your ankle isn't really sprained plus what you said right before you ran off... Why did you bring that woman here?" He asked with a demanding voice.

I decided to be completely honest and blunt with my answer. "She's Father's future wife."

Hijikata-san twitched as a vein appeared on his forehead before he promptly smacked me across the back of the head.

"Don't go around playing matchmaker!" It looked like he really irritated with my statement. "Besides, how would **you** know if they fit well together? It's not like **you** know the future."

"Hey, want to make a bet with me?"

"Wha—where did that come from?"

"What? Are you afraid that you're going to lose?"

"Wanna say that again, little girl?"

"If they get married in March of 1860, then you have to attend the wedding wearing a woman's kimono. But if they don't get married in March of 1860, then I'll stop Souji from stealing you haiku books."

"Ho? Feeling confident, are we? Fine, I accept your bet."_ Don't worry, I promise to find you a pretty kimono to wear to the wedding when you lose, Hijikata-san._

"Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going back to spy on them."

"No you're not." Hijikata-san said as his hand shot out to grab me by the scuff of my clothing. "You've manipulated enough people for today and you're on kitchen duty tonight." He picked me up by the scruff of my kimono and carried me off to the kitchen.

It was the January of 1860 and I was going to win that bet. Just as I predicted, the wedding was arranged to take place in March of that year. Everyone celebrated the engagement. No, let me correct that statement. Almost everyone celebrated the engagement. While Hijikata-san was happy for Father, he was also so mortified that he lost the bet that even began to deny its existence.

"So have you decided what color kimono you're wearing to the wedding yet?" I sang as Hijikata-san was trying to cut the fish for dinner, keyword being trying.

"What are you talking about? Don't you have floors to sweep? Stop pestering me and go sweep the floors."

"Denial is bad for your health."

"You're being delusional. I am not denying anything."

"Aww... I thought you were a man of honor. Now I've lost all the respect I had for you."

"... blue..." He mumbled under his breathe.

"Hmm? What's that? I didn't hear you~"

"I'm not making your dinner tonight."

"It's okay, your cooking taste disgusting anyways." I said with a grin before becoming serious again. "By the way, you shouldn't cook the fish like that. You'll give everybody food poisoning."

The night of the wedding came and spirits were high. Unfortunately, Hijikata-san did not end up wearing a woman's kimono at the wedding. There were some tasks to be completed right before the wedding and he instantly volunteered to take care of all of them by himself. By the time he completed all the tasks, it was time for the wedding and there was no time to dress him up.

The wedding went without a problem; people celebrated, people got drunk, and people went home to sleep. However, unlike the people who went home to sleep, I was wide awake. After Otsune accepted Father's marriage proposal, it was decided that I was to get my own room. Tonight was to be the first night I would be sleeping alone.

I couldn't sleep. The sense of isolation was suffocating. Before, this problem could have been easily remedied by sneaking over to Souji's room, but that was no longer an option. With the passing of my 14th birthday, my body kicked into high gear as it was forced through puberty. Within a matter of months, I shot up a few inches, my chest developed, and my menstruation cycle began. I was now considered a young woman and Souji had already long been considered a man. It now would have been highly inappropriate if I snuck over to sleep in his room.

I kicked off the bed sheets and stalked in the main hall. If I couldn't sleep then there would have been no point in trying anyways. The main hall was dark and empty. There were both full and empty sake jars tossed all across the room from the party that was held in the hall a few hours earlier. I just stood and stared at the jars of sake for what felt like hours. Deciding that I couldn't stand the loneliness any longer, I grabbed a jar, pulled the cork off, and emptied the contents into my stomach. Or that was what I intended to do. As I place the opening of the jar to my lips, a hand grabbed my arm and prevented me from doing anything else.

"What are you doing?" Hijikata-san asked sternly. He was angry.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with his questions. All I wanted to do was drink away my problems.

"Why are you here?" I asked with great hostility.

"Answer me." His hand was like an iron cable around my arm as he refused to be deterred.

"What I am doing is none of your fucking business."

"You've never behaved like this before. Why are you acting like this now?" His voice, his expression, his body language, everything told me that he was demanding an answer and would not rest until he got one.

"Are you unhappy with the marriage? You were the one that wanted them to get married."

"The whole world isn't centered on your man crush, Hijikata."

"Then tell me why you're acting like this."

I snorted at his request. "Do you really want to know? Fine then, I am supposed to be fucking dead. I shouldn't even exist right now."

Hijikata-san wore a shocked expression at my words before it morphed into a gentler look. He took the jar of sake from my loosened grip before dropping my arm.

"Are you talking about when Kondou-san found you?" He asked softly as he put the jar back on the floor. "Kondou-san told me that he found you in an abandoned fishing boat left for dead."

All of my enmity left as soon as he spoke those words and I sunk to the floor.

"I hate this," my voice shook as it became a whisper towards the end. "My whole life is defined by that one event. I can't get over it no matter how much I try." Tears started to roll down my cheeks as I continued. "I can't stand being alone. I can't bear it." I buried my face into my hands. "I feel so alone, so weak, so ashamed."

Arms wrapped around my shoulder before I was pulled against a body.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of. You have people who care about you now, people who consider you family. Even if you were surrounded by emptiness, you will never truly be alone."

"Never?"

"Never," Hijikata-san said with soft ferocity.

I stayed in that position that entire night and let the tears flow until I had no more left.

* * *

><p>I'm surprise at the number of view this story has gotten. Starting from the next chapter, the other captains are going to start appearing. Right now I'm trying to decide which captain(s) should appear first. Heisuke and Sannan or Harada? Note that both Heisuke and Sannan are going to appear in the same chapter. The order of appearance of each captain will also determine how Suzuka develops as a character. Please let me know what character(s) you guys want to see next before I start on the next chapter.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"But man is not made for defeat," he said. "A man can be destroyed but not defeated. "  
>― Ernest Hemingway, <span>The Old Man and the Sea<span>

"So how does it look?" Father asked me as I sat at a table pouring over the accounting books.

"It doesn't look good." I sighed, "If we assume that the amount of income the dojo produces continues to drop at the same rate as it is now then we might be able to keep the dojo open for another eight years. However, knowing how unstable the economy is right now, it's logical to assume that the situation will become worse. In reality, we might have to close down the dojo in less than half of the predicted amount of time."

Father grew discouraged at my words before he began pacing in the room

"There must be something we can do. Did you try reallocating our spending into different areas?"

"I already tried that. The results are about the same. I also tried calculating the number of years we would have left if we made cuts to certain areas, but we would only end up prolonging the survival of the dojo by another half year."

"Erk! Is it our financial situation that bad? There must be something we can do to bring in more money. How about if we—"

Father stopped speaking as we turned to watch Hijikata-san and Souji stalk into the room.

"I thought the both of you were helping Tsune cook lunch." Father said as both men sat down on the floor cushions.

"It's Hijikata-san's fault," Souji blamed. "Hijikata-san is so terrible at cooking that Tsune-san banned him from the kitchen before kicking us both out. Now that lunch has been ruined, we need to go out and buy new groceries before lunch can be remade."

"Your cooking is pretty terrible too!" Hijikata-san argued back. "I'm not the only one Tsune-san kicked out of the kitchen."

"But you were the only one she banned." Souji pointed out.

"Wait, so," I interrupted, "now we have to go out to spend **more** money for food when we can't **afford** to?"

An uncomfortable silence grew in the room before I turned to Father, "Maybe it's a good thing that Hijikata-san got banned from the kitchen. We can't afford to keep having to replace ruined food."

"H-hey!" Hijikata-san stammered, trying to defend himself before slumping in defeat.

I sighed as I stood up. "I'll go see what Tsune-san needs to be replaced before going to the market." I told everyone as I left for the kitchen.

"Tsune-san," I called out as I entered the kitchen. "What did those two ruin. I'll run out to the market to buy some replacement groceries."

Tsune-san was standing by a pan wearing a perplexed expression while staring at the… burnt lump of something sitting in the pan. Whatever that thing in the pan was, it was no longer recognizable.

"Oh! Shizuka-chan!" she exclaimed after she noticed me. "Do you think you can run to the marketplace and buy some sardines and a jar of mirin? I'm afraid that this dish is no longer salvageable and will need to be replaced." _That was fish?! Just what did Hijikata-san and Souji do?! No, I'm pretty sure that was just Hijikata-san. Souji's cooking may be terrible but it isn't __**that**__ terrible._

"Okay," I said while staring at the blackened lump, "I'll be back as soon as possible."

I thought about the **thing** that was once called lunch as I power-walked to the market. _How in the nine circles of hell did Hijikata-san do that to fish?! I would have thought it would've taken more skill to turn fish into that than it does to cook something eatable. _Due to the fact that I was so awed at Hijikata-san's exquisite ability to ruin food, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and I slammed into the backside of someone.

"Ow!" I cried as I landed on my behind. _Well, that was graceful_, I thought sarcastically.

"Hey! Watch… where you're going?" A boy—no, a young man with teal eyes and long untamable, brown hair in a high ponytail said as he spotted me on the floor.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked with concern prevalent in his eyes before he offered me his hand.

I took his hand and bowed apologetically for running into him. "I'm sorry for running into you. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"You should be a bit more careful, little girl," the teal-eyed man said to me as he pat my head. "Some people aren't as understanding as I am."

_Little girl? Seriously? _Okay, so I wasn't the tallest person in the world, but I still wasn't **that** short. I was 4′4″; I should have been called shorty rather than little. Plus, if this guy had looked down about six inches he would have noticed that I had breasts. Sure, they weren't that noticeable, but I wasn't flat-chested either. In all seriousness, everyone should have been able to tell I was past the stage of being called "little girl". _Whoever this guy is, he has a terrible eye for women…_

"Shouldn't you be with your parents? Do you need help?" He asked as a vein appeared on my forehead.

Unhappy with the way he was speaking to me, I put my hands on my hips before stating, "You know, if you looked down from my eyes about six inches, you'll notice something."

His eyes shifted down after I spoke before he flushed bright red.

"Wah! I'm so sorry! It's just that you're so short. I-I mean—" he spluttered out, trying to correct his offense.

I began walking away before I turned my head back towards him. "It's fine. It's not like you were trying to offend me, but if you really want to apologize then I'll take that offer of help from earlier."

He stared at me for a few seconds to process my words before he ran to catch up with me.

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled at me as we continued to walk towards the market.

"You don't need to keep apologizing when I ready forgave you. So, what's your name? I'm Kondou Shizuka." I introduced myself.

"Oh! I'm Toudou Heisuke! It's nice to meet ya!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you to, Toudou-san." I responded politely.

"Eh? Just call me Heisuke. Almost everyone I know just calls me that, plus we're about the same age… I think?" He looked at me inquisitively towards the end as his sentence became a question.

"I'm 14, if it helps." I said, offering my age. "I'm just short."

"Then we're the same age." He concluded before asking me, "So what did you need to buy from the market?"

"I need to buy some sardines and a jar of mirin to replace the food two **idiots** ruined back at the dojo." I replied with some venom as my irritation resurfaced again.

"Wait? You live at a dojo? Which dojo is it?" His curiosity was stirred as he ignored my irritation.

"I live at Shieikan Hall. My father is the master of the dojo."

"Is he strong?"

"I believe so. I've never seen him lose to anyone. Why are you asking?"

"I have a sempai back at the dojo I live at whose going around challenging dojos right now." He explained as we arrived at the market.

"Then you should tell him about Shieikan. I'm sure Father would love to have a challenger right now." I told him. Maybe this challenge could bring some much need money to the dojo. "Hey, let's go over there, that stall is selling fish." I pointed to a fishy-looking stall.

"So," I continued. If Father was to receive a challenger, then it would be a good idea to gather some information about his opponent's fighting style. "What style do you learn at your dojo?"

"Hm? Oh! We use the Hokushin Itto Ryu style back at the dojo. What about at your dojo?"

"Hmm… I wonder…" was all I said as I bought all the food that was need.

"Wha—you're not going to tell me?" He asked with disbelief written on his face.

"Nope!" I replied cheerfully. "Isn't it more fun to guess?"

"That was unfair."

"Yes, yes that was." I admitted. "Well that was interesting. Tell your sempai to come to Shieikan." I called back at him as I ran off, leaving him nonplussed back at the market.

The next day, Father received the challenger that I was anticipating. Although, I never actually told anyone the information I received yesterday. It wasn't like Father was going to lose. Father was so strong that the information wouldn't have made a difference either way.

"My name is Sannan Keisuke and this is my peer, Toudou Heisuke. Do not pay to much attention to Toudou-san's young age, he is just as skilled as I am." Sannan-san introduced himself and then Heisuke before he presented his challenge. "I am here to test my skill with a blade and Toudou-kun here told me the master of this dojo is incredibly strong. Please accept my challenge." Sannan-san said politely with a bow.

"Are you sure about this, Sannan-san?" Heisuke asked. "You're going to be at a disadvantage since they already know what style we use."

"Disadvantage?" Father asked, confused.

"What do you mean by we already know what style you use?" Hijikata-san was none too happy at the accusation.

Meanwhile, Souji, who was standing next to me, quirked his eyebrow and looked down at me. "What did you do this time?" He asked.

"How did you know it was my fault?" I asked innocently.

"Because it's always your fault," was his response. "So, what did you do?"

"I may have tricked Heisuke into telling me what style they used and then I may have run off without telling him what style we use at this dojo."

All side conversations stopped as everyone turned to stare at me when I admitted what I did. Then Hijikata-san walked over to me and bashed me on the head with his fist.

"Why are you always causing trouble wherever you go?" Hijikata-san scolded me.

"Ouch!" I cradled my head. "It's not like I told anyone what style they used. I was just curious and besides, Father is already strong enough without that information."

"Ah, let just forget this whole mess and just get to the challenge." Father cut in, trying to relieve the tension that built up in the room. "Toshi, why don't you be the referee for this match," he suggested to Hijikata-san.

"Alright," Hijikata-san answered before glaring back at me.

Everyone moved to get into position in the main hall as preparation for the challenge began. Souji, Heisuke, and I moved to the side of the room to get out of the way as Father and Sannan-san moved towards the center. Both men got into their different positions and Hijikata-san began the match.

"Begin!" yelled Hijikata-san.

Sannan-san moved first and immediately aimed for Fathers right wrist. True to what was said about the Hokushin Itto Ryu style, the attack was fast and no unnecessary movements were made. However, it didn't matter how fast the attack was. Father read Sannan-san's move the moment Sannan-san lunged. The blow was parried and rendered useless as the two bokken became locked together.

"You're extremely skilled, Sannan-san." Father said to Sannan-san as Father pushed hard against the opposite bokken. "That attack was one of the fastest strikes I have ever seen."

"You're also extremely skilled as well, Kondou-san" Sannan-san complimented Father back. "It is not often I come across an opponent that can read my moves so well."

Then the match was over in an instant. Father gave his push one more surge of strength and knocked Sannan-san off balance for a second. Within that single second that Sannan-san was off balanced, Father lunged forward and delivered one powerful blow to Sannan-san's lower right abdomen. Sannan-san fell to the floor at the force that was delivered in that blow.

"One hit!" Hijikata-san yelled ending the match.

"I can't believe it." Heisuke said in silent disbelief. "This is the first time I've seen Sannan-san lose like this."

"Of course Sannan-san lost," Souji said to Heisuke, "there's no one I know that is stronger than Kondou-san."

We all watched Father moved to offer his hand to Sannan-san.

"That was a good match." Father said in the spirit of good sportsmanship.

"Indeed that was." Sannan-san replied as he accepted Fathers hand. "It has been awhile since I lost to anyone like that. Perhaps it is time to retrain myself at a different dojo. From now on, please accept me as a new live-in student at this dojo."

"Wait! If Sannan-san thinks it's time to join a new dojo, then I'll join too!" Heisuke cried out after Sannan-san's statement. He had seen the amount of strength the master of this dojo had.

"The more the merrier!" Father exclaimed in good cheer as he accepted two more new students.

And so, the year 1860 came to an end as Shieikan gained two new students among the loss of so many other students.

* * *

><p>More request came in for Heisuke (and Sannan by default), so Heisuke came first. In case if anyone is wondering how I chose the the order the captains appear in, I chose to base it off of history. According to history: Sannan was believed to join Shieikan after he was defeated in a challenge by Kondou in 1860; Heisuke who went to the same dojo as Sannan greatly admired said man and most likely joined Shieikan under his influence. The year that Harada joined Shieikan is unknown, only the fact that he did join Shieikan was known. The year that Shinpachi arrived at Shieikan was around 1861. Lastly, Saito's appearance will be based off of Hakuoki Reimeiroku. In the anime, Saito was shown to be the last captain that joined Shieikan. At any rate, since there was a request to have Shinpachi appear sooner, Harada and Shinpachi will now most likely be appearing in the same chapter. A warning before hand, that chapter will most likely carry a darker theme.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

No, this is not the chapter where Harada and Shinpachi appear. They will come soon. **Warning: this chapter is somewhat graphic and deals with the subject of rape. Because of this chapter and the possible other chapters in the future, the story will become rated M.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

"How can one be well...when one suffers morally?"  
>― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace<p>

I was powerful. I was a predator stalking its prey. I was an adult in the body of a teenager who hadn't had a sip of alcohol since weeks before my death in my past life and I wanted my damn alcohol. Fifteen years was far too long to go without alcohol. I watched from my hiding spot as everyone left the kitchen. Now all I had to do was quietly steal the sake from the shelf on the left side of—

"Hey, Shizuka-chan! Huh? What are you doing?"

"Gah!" I fell over in surprise and lamented over my failure. Heisuke was standing behind me wearing a bewildered look on his face.

What happened to my ability to sneak around unnoticed? Was I losing my touch? No, I'm pretty sure this was all Sannan-san's fault.

It was my day to go grocery shopping about three weeks ago. The dojo was running low on money again, so I decided to skip out on buying some cod and only bought some vegetables. Dinner was served that night with no fish or meat. Nobody complained at the lack of meat or fish, but I did receive a particularly nasty look from Sannan-san that seemed to promise retribution. I found out later that Sannan-san was promised cod that night. Since then, I seem to lose my ability to move around unseen and often got caught by Hijikata-san when I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing. I had no idea how Sannan-san was doing this, so I went to confront Sannan-san to demand how he managed to dispose of my cloaking ability.

"Hmm? What ability?" was all Sannan-san said with a kind smile as he pat my head.

I learned that day that Sannan-san was not a man to trifle with, even if it was on accident. He was, by far, the most terrifying and cunning man I have ever met.

"Shizuka-chan, can you hear me?" Heisuke poked the side of my head as I continued sitting on the floor, internally crying over the loss chance at a taste of heaven. "Shizuka-chan?"

Determined not to be deterred from my original goal, I turned to Heisuke with a mischievous smile.

"Hey, want to help me with something, Heisuke?" I asked.

"Huh? Help with what?"

"You see that jar of sake on that shelf over there? I'm too short and I can't reach it by myself." I pointed at the jar on top of the left shelf. "I need you to go get it for me."

"Why do you need sake?" Heisuke asked before he put two and two together. "Wait! Are you trying to sneak a drink of sake?! But you're a girl! Hijikata-san and Kondou-san will get mad!"

I pouted with a disappointed look. "So now I'm not even allowed to drink what I want in my own home. Maybe I should just go tell Souji that Heisuke was being mean to me."

"Wah! You can't do that! It's not fair! Souji will totally do something nasty to me!" Heisuke began to panic as soon as he heard me blackmail him.

"Then you'll help me?" The smile I had before returned to my face.

"Ahh... I totally going to regret this, aren't I?" he sighed as he resigned to his fate.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" I said cheerfully in response.

"Okay..."

Both of us snuck into the kitchen and as Heisuke was reaching for the jar of sake, an angry voice cut into the room.

"Just what are you two doing?" Hijikata-san said with a loud stern voice. Oops, we've been caught.

"'It'll be fun,' she says." Heisuke grumbled after we were both tossed into a room by Hijikata-san to reflect on our actions.

"But it was." I rebutted innocently.

"Gah! Just what is your definition of fun?" Heisuke asked as he grabbed his head with both his hands.

"You know, fun."

"That totally didn't clarify anything!"

"I know." Heisuke hung his head in defeat at my statement.

We weren't sitting in the room for long before we heard cry for help coming from outside of the dojo.

"Somebody! Anybody! Please help me! Please!"

Heisuke and I both looked at each other before we both shot out the door. We weren't the only ones with the same idea. Everyone in the dojo, along with the other people living on the same street went outside to see what was happening. The sight of the young woman in an older man's arms as he pleaded for help was a shocking sight to others, but was a scene I had seen many times as trauma surgeon. The young woman was badly bruised on the right side of face. Her whole neck was covered in blood and a giant bruise in the shape of a handprint. She had several lacerations all over her body and a broken bone was protruding from her skin on her left leg near her ankle. Her kimono had been torn open and nearly the entire bottom of her kimono was torn off. Without most of the bottom of the kimono, her legs up to her thighs were exposed. Her thighs were covered in a mixed solution of blood, semen, and vaginal fluid. The young woman had been brutally raped and left for dead before she was found.

"This is terrible." the woman from next door whispered to her husband. "Do you think she was raped by that serial rapist that has been going around Edo?"

There had been a rapist on the loose in Edo now for the past four months. There was almost nothing known about person committing the crime. All that was known was that person targeted the female population, regardless of age. The youngest girl that was raped was four years old and the oldest woman was 68 years old. The victims were always killed at the end or were so badly beaten that they died anyways. However, the most disturbing piece information was that the brutal rapes were always committed in broad daylight. Despite all the efforts of the authorities to capture this person, no one has even seen the person except the dead victims. There were 23 known victims already and now a 24th victim was added to the list.

"Please someone help my daughter! No one will help me because I have no money! All they keep saying that she will die anyways!" The man continued to cry and plead. "Please! She's all I have left!"

Most people returned to their homes after they saw what was causing the commotion. It wasn't like they could help the poor man and his daughter. The most that the people could offer the man was their pity and, perhaps, their sympathy.

While I was no longer a surgeon in this life, I couldn't stand around and do nothing, not while I had the knowledge and skill to operate on the young woman. I never gave up on the people who came through the emergency room in my past life and I wasn't going to start now.

I lost all of my childish playfulness and called out to the man, "I know what to do. Bring her inside the dojo."

Everyone in my strange make-shift family was shocked at my claim and stared at me with their jaws hanging open.

"What are you doing?" Hijikata-san demanded. "I know you're skilled at treating injuries, but this is too far out of your league. What do you think you can do?"

"Hijikata-san," I said seriously and calmly. "That woman will die if she does receive an operation soon. I will not allow that to happen while I have the skill and knowledge to prevent that from happening. You may not believe me when I say I have the skill and knowledge to save her, but she will die if no one does anything right now."

Father placed a hand on Hijikata-san's shoulder before saying, "What she said is true, Toshi. If that young woman does not receive any form of treatment now she will die. Let us put our faith in Shizuka and allow her to treat the woman."

"There will be nothing for us to lose anyways if the treatment fails." Sannan-san added. "The young woman is already on death's doorstep anyways. But it would have been better to try then to have done nothing at all."

"… Alright" Hijikata-san consented hesitantly.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the distressed father cried as we ushered the man and his daughter inside.

"We'll be using this room," I stated as soon as we came to an empty bedroom. "Someone bring me a large tub of hot boiled water and several jars of alcohol. Somebody wipe off that table and sanitize it with alcohol, I'll be operating on her on that table and it needs to be disinfected." Souji ran off to fetch the alcohol and Heisuke went to boil the water.

"I'll need someone to run to the market to buy some mint. I need the mint for the natural menthol it possesses to use as the general anesthetic and someone find me some thread, preferably silk, and a needle." Father ran off to gather said materials as Souji came back with the alcohol and began disinfecting the table.

"Since we don't have any scalpels, someone find me some small knives and some bandages." Sannan-san went off to fulfill that request.

"Souji, are you done with the table?"

"Yeah."

"Place your daughter on the table." I told the man.

"Hijikata-san, can you go find an apron for me?"

"Okay." Hijikata-san replied as I turned to the man.

"Sir, I'll need you to back away from your daughter so I can properly examine her." I told the man gently. The man yielded to my request as I began to examine the injuries.

"Right side of the face is severely bruised. The neck shows signs that she has been strangled; there are also a few superficial cuts on the right side from the perpetrator's nails. There are 12 laceration wounds on her body. The most serious lacerations are the two on her left shoulder and the one on her left leg. The broken bone in her left leg, just superior to her ankle, is a compound fracture. Since the bone is protruding from the skin, extra care must be given to make sure the bone doesn't develop a deep bone infection. She has a few fractured ribs, possibly three, and a large bruise forming on her abdomen. There is also some slight swelling in the abdomen. There is most likely some internal bleeding and the blood needs to be drained to reduce the pressure on her organs. The source of the internal bleeding will also need to be repaired. Based on the location of the swelling, the source of the internal bleeding is most likely the spleen. The blood coming from her vagina suggests that the walls have been badly torn during the assault and will also need to be repaired." I listed off the numerous amounts of injuries just as some people started returning.

"Sannan-san, since you don't look like you will squeamish around operating table, I will need your assistance during the operation. I'll need everyone else to leave the room to prevent contamination before I start operating."

The operation lasted nearly the entire day and by the time I emerged from the room with Sannan-san, the sun had already set hours ago. Everyone was sitting against the wall right outside the room.

"How is she? How is my daughter?" the man cried, sick with worry, as he ran up to me.

"I've done all I could." I told the man. "Whether your daughter survives is now up to her. If she wakes up within the next 12 hours, then her chances of surviving will increase. You can go see her now."

The man ran into the room to go sit at his daughter's side.

I walked over to where Souji was sitting and tiredly slumped down next to him.

"How can some people be so horrible?" I asked Souji, not expecting an answer. "How can someone look another person in the eye and see the fear and pain but still continue?"

Souji wrapped one arm around me and pulled me close.

"I don't know." was all he said.

* * *

><p>Harada and Shinpachi should appear in the next chapter. This chapter has some foreshadowing for the next chapter. Can anyone guess what will happen next?<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning: This chapter is on the subject of rape and other controversial topics.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."  
>― Khalil Gibran<p>

That young woman survived the night after her operation. Her father was overflowing with joy when she woke up within four hours of the surgery. Most would say that it was a happy ending and even though she went through a horrible event, she managed to survive the ordeal. But this is reality and reality hardly ever ends in perfect, neat, happy little endings.

The young woman, whose name was Midori, was distraught over her rape. She refused to speak about the person who raped her, thus any possible knowledge that could have been use to capture the rapist was lost. One month after her father took her home, she hanged herself from a wooden beam in the ceiling of her house. Her father, who was away at the market peddling wares at the time, went back to his home to find his dead daughter hanging from the ceiling. He could not handle the death of his daughter and committed suicide by stabbing himself in the chest after taking the corpse of daughter down from the ceiling. Unfortunately, in his sorrow, the poor man missed his heart when he stabbed himself. The father stabbed the left lobe of his lung, resulting in a slow and painful death as he drowned in his own blood.

While I initially did manage to save Midori's life and affirm my skill and knowledge to everyone in the dojo, the operation wasn't the best choice for the dojo at the time. In my past life as a surgeon, general anesthetic was easily available in the hospital where I worked. Here in this lifetime, anesthetic was not so readily available, so I had to extract menthol from mint. Menthol by itself is not a very power anesthetic, therefore large doses of it was required for that surgery. Also, mint was **not** cheap. The cost of the anesthetic required for the surgery was phenomenally expensive and the dojo was poor enough as it is. Then, there were the silk threads used to suture her wounds. Silk was often used in operations where the repairs were done on a person's internal wounds because the human body has the ability to dissolve silk on its own. Therefore, sutures done in silk do not have to be manually removed. Like mint, silk was also extremely expensive. While the Midori's father did pay us what he could for our troubles, the net profit was far less than what was spent on the operation. Everyone at the dojo struggled to put food on the table for an entire month. But as unfortunate as all of these collective events were, the world did not pause for anyone.

"Are you sure we got everything this time?" Heisuke asked while he, Souji, and I were walking back home from the market. "I don't want to be whacked again by Hijikata-san if we forgot something this time."

"I'm sure." Souji replied nonchalantly. "Besides, if we forgot something then Hijikata-san can go and buy it himself."

"Easy enough for you to say, you weren't the one he hit with the broom." Heisuke said while looking put off.

"Oh!" I exclaimed in realization. "We did forget something. Hijikata-san asked us to buy some ink sticks because we ran out. I'll go and buy them now. You don't have to wait for me." I told them before I ran off.

I after I left both of the boys behind, I ran back towards the market and got as far as about one block before I was stopped by an elderly woman. She was small lady with a slightly hunched back, mostly caused by a case of mild osteoporosis, and was poorly dressed. She most likely lived in the slums of Edo.

"You look lively and springy." the old lady said after she called out to me. "I need help with something, but I'm afraid my poor old back can't handle it. Do you think you can help me for it bit?"

"Okay. What do you need help with?" A small act of kindness could never hurt anyone. I sure Souji and Heisuke would understand if they had to wait a bit longer.

"Follow me." She said as she started to walk toward a smaller and less crowded street. "I have a few boxes to carry home, but they're too heavy. I left them in a small alley before I decide to go find some help." She continued speaking as she walked towards the small alley.

As soon as I entered the alley, I was grabbed and thrown against a wall with great force. The impact of the wall knocked the breath out of me._ What just happened? _I was unable to process what was happening.

"You're such a good boy. Now hurry up and make Mommy happy." I heard the old woman say in the background.

_What? Make Mommy happy? I don't understand._

In front of me stood a middle aged man that was just as poorly dressed as the old woman. He wore a vacant expression and the proportions of his face were slightly strange. The middle age man had been born with Down syndrome. I watch the man advance on me while I laid against the wall I was thrown into in dazed confusion.

"Yes, make Mommy happy. I like it when Mommy is happy." He said innocently as he moved to follow his mother's orders.

The man tore the top of my kimono open before I realized what was happening. _No, this can't be happening to me. I have to scream. I have to get help._

"She's going to scream, grab her throat!" the old woman snapped before continuing. "Stupid girls and their happy lives! Why should I be the only one that had to suffer such a horrid life?! My husband left me to live in poverty because the son I gave birth to wasn't right in the head! If I can't be happy then no other girl or woman should either!" The old woman spat out spitefully in my direction.

_No, no, no! This can't be happening! I have to fight! I have to fight!_ I struggled helplessly against the man as he attacked my breasts.

CRACK! A loud audible sound filled the air as the man grabbed my wrists and squeezed. My left wrist had been fractured.

"No, don't hit me." the man said. "I don't like it when it hurts."

_NO, NO, NO! _I was sobbing hysterically by now as he reached for my lower kimono.

In an instant the man was forced off of me. A broad back with a low, messy red ponytail stood between me and my would-be rapist.

"Unless a woman gives her consent then you should keep your hands to yourself." the redhead said to the man before turning to the old woman. "Why were you just standing there? Why didn't you go get help?"

"Mommy, it hurts, it hurts!" the man wailed to the old woman.

"Mommy?" the redhead asked confusedly before realizing the man had some sort of mental illness.

"Why did you interfere?! This was none of your business! You should have just continued walking!"

"So you were the one who put him up to this. What type of mother would tell her son with a mental illness to do this?! Answer me!"

"I don't have to answer to you! Come along Son, it's time to leave!"

"Mommy, don't be mad. Wait for me!"

"Are you alright." I heard the man's voice.

I couldn't process what was happening. All I remembered was that someone was going to rape me and now there was another man standing in front of me.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed as I backed into the wall. Not another one. Not another one. I need help. Somebody help me. Help me, please. Why was this happening to me?

"Shizuka-chan!"

"Shizuka!"

Two voices called the background, but I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't process anything. I was terrified out of my mind. The redheaded man was then suddenly punched across the face by one of two men that arrived at the scene.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!"

"What the hell was that for?! I was the one that saved her!"

There were words in the background, but I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't understand anything. I needed to get out of here. I needed to find somewhere safe.

"Shizuka-chan, are you okay?"

The shorter, teal-eyed man that came with the man the punched the redhead crouched down beside to me and was speaking. God, no. Why was there another one? Leave me alone. What did I do to deserve this?

"Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone." I choked out as a sob as I continued quivering.

"Souji! She doesn't recognize me! I can't calm her down! She's hyperventilating!"

"I'll kill whoever did this! Move! Let me try!"

Suddenly, I could see green eyes that I knew so well. They were the same green eyes that could always calm me down. They were the same green eyes I knew as a child.

"S-Souji." I sobbed. He was here. I was safe. He could protect me.

"Shhh. You're okay. You're safe." He whispered into my ear as he hugged me.

"I-I was s-so s-scared." I latched on to him tightly.

"We'll get you home and fix your wrist." he said softly.

I allowed him to cover me and carry me back home while the two other men followed closely behind.

I laid on my futon alone in the dark of my room. My wrist had been set and bandaged as soon as we returned. I couldn't face anyone. I felt so disgusting, so dirty. I couldn't let anyone see me. Voices spoke from outside my closed room.

"Did you hear anything on the people who did this?"

"The authorities captured both of them thanks to Harada-san's description. Those two were the ones responsible for the series of rapes in Edo for the past couple of months."

"We were really lucky Sano-san was there. If he wasn't, then I don't know what would have happened to Shizuka-chan."

CRASH! A porcelain object broke as it was most likely thrown into a wall.

"DAMN IT! Why did this have to happen?!"

"Souji! Calm down! Shizuka is resting right now and shouldn't be awakened!"

"Calm down?! How can I calm down after what just happened, Hijikata-san?!"

"Souji!"

"Let him go. He needs to calm down by himself."

I curled up into a ball under the blankets and cried myself to sleep.

I've been hiding in my room now for a month now. I only left the room to get the essentials when I was absolutely sure no one would see me. I hated being alone, but I couldn't stand to let the others see me. I was filthy. I was a worthless waste of space. I didn't deserve to take up the time of other people.

"Shizu-chan, will you come out today? Please? Everyone misses you." Father pleaded from behind closed doors.

Everyday, someone would come to the door to beg me to leave my room, but I couldn't. I didn't want to waste anyone's time. I had invisible chains that held me in place and kept me prisoner in my own mind.

It was the hour of the dog and I was sure everyone was eating dinner at the current moment. I should be able to sneak into the kitchen to find some food right now. I nudged the door of my room open and to sneak a peak. No one was around. As I exited the room, a new voice, one that I had never heard before, froze me in place.

"I thought I'd seen everyone that lives in this dojo, but I haven't seen you before. You're pretty cute! What's your name?" A brown-haired man with a green bandana tied his head asked with a grin.

Panic crept into my veins as I remained frozen in place.

"Eh? Are you okay?" the strange, new man asked me when I did not respond.

"Shinpachi, what are you doing?" the same red-haired man from before, Harada I believed, asked the new man as he approached us from the behind.

"Oh?" Harada saw me standing in front of the new man. "You finally left you room." He said with a kind smile.

Both of these men were in Father's dojo, which meant Father trusted them. This meant I should have been able to trust them too, but why was I so terrified? I began hyperventilating again as I fell to the floor.

"Shit! Something's wrong! She's having a panic attack! Shinpachi, go find either Kondou-san, Souji, or Hijikata-san! They should be able to fix this!"

"R-right!"

"Breathe! You're okay." Harada kneeled down next me as he tried to calm me down.

Footsteps came rushing down the hall. Rather than just getting one of the people Harada had listed, this Shinpachi brought everyone running.

"Shizu-chan!" Father cried as he ran towards me. "Everyone back up and give us some room! Shizu-chan, breathe. You're okay. You're safe." I buried myself into Father's chest.

Father picked me up and returned me to my room. I couldn't face the others. Not yet.

"What was that about?"

People were speaking outside my room again.

"You don't know about this since you just got here Shinpach-san, but Shizuka-chan was nearly raped about a month ago. If Sano wasn't there then…"

"Wait, that's Shizuka? I thought she was just a myth."

"Shinpachi, just because you haven't seen someone doesn't me she doesn't exist. But it's just as Heisuke said, if I wasn't there then it would have ended badly."

"Hijikata-san, Kondou-san, do you think she'll ever be the same again?"

"It's hard to say, but Shizuka is a hardy person. She won't go down without a fight."

_A fight? No, I'm already broken._

"I hope she gets well soon. We all miss her and would like her to return."

_I'm already broken... No. I won't let it end like this. I can fix myself. I'm not done. It's not over. I won't let that event haunt me for the rest of my life. I have enough baggage as is and I don't need more! I will learn to fight. I will learn to defend myself. Never again, I will never again let this happen. Not as long as I still draw breath._

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><p>So, was the rapist what you thought he was? Nothing is as simple as we often think it is.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"My sun sets to rise again."  
>― Robert Browning<p>

Making the decision to learn how to fight last night may have seemed like an easy, simple decision to make to others, but it was far from easy to me. I had never liked violence. As a trauma surgeon in my past life, I had far too often seen the end results of violence. It was always highly unpleasant to see mangled bodies being brought through the door of the emergency room. There was always so much blood, so much pain, and so much death.

I had also never wanted to touch a weapon either. In my mind, weapons were only created for one purpose. Weapons were created for the sole purpose of killing. I became a surgeon to save lives, not to kill. I didn't want to have to do anything with items that were created to aid in the art of murder. Thus, this became the reason I never wanted to learn how to use a sword despite the many opportunities to learn. But now, after what I had seen, what I have gone through, I had an epiphany. Yes, weapons were created originally with the purpose of killing in mind, but that did not mean that they could not gain a new purpose with passing time. Weapons were tools that could also be used to defend, to protect. To fight was not always to injure. To fight is to stand up and to not let your adversary control you with fear. Yes, it was time to learn how to fight.

However, this was easier said then done. While I did live with men who were skilled with the sword, I did not want to learn the art of the katana. The sword would bring me too close to my opponents and with my small, now, 4'7" physique; I would easily be defeated by all larger opponents. The katana was already not an option because almost everyone was taller than me. Another problem that came along with the possibility of learning to wield the sword was the people. I couldn't face any of the men yet. I wasn't ready yet. I wanted the next time they saw me to be when I was no longer suffering from my PTSD that I developed from the attack. I was determined that the next time they all saw me, I would be free from any mental maladies.

So I needed a weapon with distance. If I could put distance between me and my opponents then physique size would matter less. With distance between me and my opponents, physical strength would matter less and the fight would become a test of skill. A gun was the first weapon that came to mind when I thought of long distance weapons, but this was 19th century Japan. Guns during this time period in Japan were out of date, difficult to use, impossible to hit anything with, and expensive. If I tried to fight with a gun, then it might have been equivalent to walking unarmed into a battlefield with a sign that said "stab me" attached to my back. So, a gun was not an option. I could try to learn how to wield a spear, but that would be problematic too. Women in Edo era Japan do not walk around with spears. If I decided that I wanted to wield a spear then it would attract too much attention and most likely trouble would come along with that attention. The main purpose was to not attract trouble, but to be able to defend myself **if** there was any trouble. Learning how to wield a spear was not an option either. My best option and the only other real choice I had left was the naginata.

The naginata was a weapon that consisted of a long, curved, katana-like blade that sat upon the sword-like hand guard on top of a long pole. The weapon was designed to serve many functions. It could be used to batter, stab or hook opponents, but due to its relatively balanced center of mass, it was often spun and turned to proscribe a large radius of reach. The curved blade the naginata possessed made it an effective tool for cutting because of its increased length of cutting surface. In the hands of a skilled wielder, one 5' tall person could theoretically cover and attack in 484 square feet of open, flat ground with a 5' shaft and a 3' blade.

The naginata was also a weapon that was socially acceptable for women in 19th century to carry. During the Edo Period, the naginata became less useful for men on the battlefield and became a symbol of the social status of women. A functional naginata was often a traditional part of a samurai daughter's dowry. Although women did not usually fight as normal soldiers, women of the samurai class were expected to be capable of defending their homes if their husbands were away at war. This weapon was considered the most suitable weapon for women to fight with because it allowed a woman to keep her opponents at a distance, where any advantages in height, weight, and upper body strength would be lessened.

Now that I had a weapon picked out, all I needed to do was find a teacher. I was fortunate enough that I lived with a person that knew how to wield a naginata. Tsune-san was a woman that was born in the warrior class and therefore was required to learn naginatajutsu as a young girl. Tsune-san also had access to the naginata that was a part of her dowry, so there was already a readily available weapon to use. While I couldn't face men yet, facing a woman was not quite so difficult.

It was the hour of the dragon and all the men were supposed to be occupied with whatever task they were given to complete that day. This meant that if I left my room now, there would be little to no chance of running into anyone I was not ready to see. I quickly slipped out of my room and headed towards the kitchen where Tsune-san was mostly likely at during this time of the day. Tsune-san was in the kitchen by a large wooden tub filled with water. She was washing the dishes from this morning's breakfast.

"Shizuka-chan!" she exclaimed in shock once she saw me. "Are okay? Are you fine with leaving your room now?"

"No, I'm not okay with leaving my room yet." I admitted truthfully. "But if I don't try, then I'll never be okay with leaving my room again. I don't want to live in total fear anymore. I want my freedom back."

Tsune-san looked at me with a gentle expression. She didn't seem to quite know what to say to me at this moment. Deciding that it was now or never, I presented my request to Tsune-san.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life living in fear of what happened. I want to learn how to defend myself so that what happened to me will never happen again. Please teach me naginatajutsu!" I bowed deeply at the end of my request. There was a moment of silence.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked me with a worried tone, breaking that silence. "I know you don't like weapons or fighting."

"I don't want to be weak person that just runs and hides at the first sight of trouble. I want to be able to go outside and speak with everyone again. I don't want to worry anyone anymore."

"Very well, I will teach you. I can see your resolve. But I will not start teaching you any of the physical maneuvers until your wrist heals. Until you wrist fully heals, I will only be teaching you the theories of naginatajutsu."

Relieved that she accepted my request, I smiled and bowed deeply again. "Thank you very much! I promise you that I will work hard!"

"There's that smile. We've all missed your smiling face. Let us work hard so everyone can see it again." She pressed her hand against my left cheek and smiled back at me.

"Tsune-san?" There was something else I wanted to request from her now that she took my first request.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Can I ask one more thing of you?"

"Go ahead, I do not mind."

"Can I ask that you don't tell the others about my training? I don't feel ready to face everyone yet and I want to be able to surprise them when I'm ready to meet everyone again."

"Alright," she said as she agreed to that request too. "Now, since everyone is still busy, we will be undisturbed for a few hours. Let me start teaching you about naginatajutsu right now."

* * *

><p>My wrist fracture didn't take long to heal; it was a simple greenstick fracture. A few weeks added to the one month I spent hiding in my room was sufficient enough time for the bone fracture to completely heal. As soon as my wrist was deemed fully healed, Tsune-san started me on the physical part of my training.<p>

Tsune-san was a good, but tough teacher. Her teaching methods quite a bit unorthodox and did **not** match her personality. Instead of walking me through step by step like I believed she would, Tsune-san believed that experience was the best teacher. The first day I was able to start physically training with a naginata, Tsune-san tossed a wooden naginata towards me for me to use before charging at me with her own. The first several days were the hardest. There were days I was so sore or in so much pain that it almost seemed impossible to crawl out of bed. But the body remembers pain the best and soon I was able to begin dodging and blocking attacks out of pure instinct.

"What are you doing?!" Tsune-san shouted at me while we were in our daily spar. We were both dressed in dark, navy blue Hakamas with white tops. "You are letting me get too close to you! Back up a bit and use the length of your weapon to create some space!"

Before I was able to back up, Tsune-san scored a hit to my face, more specifically, my left eye. Lovely, I was going to have a black eye from that hit. I'm surprised that I don't look like a panda yet.

"Okay. Let's take a break. We can go over your weaknesses while you catch your breath." Tsune-san said as I was reeling from the earlier hit.

"Y-yes, Tsune-san!" I panted.

We placed our wooden practice weapons on the floor and walked, or in my case, limped, to the side of the room before we sat down.

"You're a fast learner, but you have a problem with your speed." Tsune-san began the long discussion about weaknesses. "You have a good eye since you can read and see every movement, but you are too slow to react, even with your phenomenal instincts. It does you no good if you can see the attacks but can do nothing about them."

This was a big problem. If the naginata had been real, then I would have already died several times the real problem was: how do I increase my speed?

"Tsune-san, if speed is my main problem then how do I increase my speed?" I asked seriously. This needed to be fixed as soon as possible for the sake of the bruises that have begun forming all over my body.

"I have a speed drill for you to work on. I will attack you ten times each round and you will need to block or dodge each hit. With each passing round, I will increase the speed of my attack. We will work on this drill daily until you can block or dodge every single attack." She told me. Joy, there would be even more bruises before the end. "Now I believe our break has been long enough. It is time to continue."

* * *

><p>Truthfully, I was surprised Tsune-san and I were able to practice so long without being discovered by one of the boys. We were able to train together for four and a half months before were we discovered by Father and Hijikata-san.<p>

I had just managed to successfully deflect a strike from Tsune-san when the sound of a single person clapping interrupted our spar. Father was standing at the entrance of the room with Hijikata-san.

"That was an excellent deflection." Father said, pleasantly surprised. "So this is the task you have been spending so much time on, Tsune."

"Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked disbelievingly. It was like he didn't quite believe I was here. "You finally left your room?"

When I first saw both Father and Hijikata-san, I thought I still wasn't ready to face anyone yet. But, just as fast as that thought appeared, it disappeared. I was filled with overwhelming joy. I missed everyone and I wanted to be back. I dropped my wooden practice weapon and ran straight into Father's arms.

"I missed you, Father." I mumbled into Father's chest as he stroked the back of my head.

"I know, Shizu-chan. I missed you too." Father placed a kiss on the top of my head before he released me from his hug.

"So you decided to learn how to fight?" Hijikata-san's question was more of a statement.

"I never want to feel as helpless as I did that day. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want my freedom back." I told Hijikata-san with determination visible through my eyes.

Hijikata-san then smiled and pulled me into a hug. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back."

Maybe I didn't feel ready to face the others yet, but it didn't matter how I felt. I was ready to rejoin the others. I was ready to live again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I'm still here. I have a history of victory."

― Steve Maraboli, _Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience_

"Just how long is it going to take for Kondou-san to get here? I'm starving! And what's with the extra tray of food? Could it be that it's for me? I knew everyone would realize that only one tray of food wasn't enough for me! It's time to eat!"

A loud slapping sound resounded the down the hall.

"Ouch! Tsune-san what was that for? That seriously hurt!"

"That food is not for you, Nagakura-san. This is not an extra tray of food."

"Eh? Then do we have a guest?"

The dining hall was louder than it was before. Well I did spend five and a half months away from everyone, so I did miss quite a few things. Father turned around and looked at me before he opened the dining hall door.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Concern was evident in his voice. "You don't have to rejoin everyone today if you don't think you're ready."

"Yes I'm sure. I want to be with everyone again." It was time.

Father smiled and pat my head after hearing my response. "Alright, but it's gotten rowdier. Our little family has grown larger again." Father then opened the dining hall door.

"Oh! There you are Kondou-san! Hurry up so we can start eating!"

"Shinpach-san, you're always so impatient!"

"A man's gotta eat, but of course you wouldn't know Heisuke! You're just a little boy!"

"Who are you calling a little boy, muscle-head?!"

"Heisuke! Shinpachi! Quiet down! Kondou-san has something to say!"

"Ah, thank you Toshi. Everyone, I want you all to meet someone you haven't seen in a while." Father said to everyone excitedly before stepping to the side to reveal me.

"No way!"

"Shizuka!"

"Shizuka-chan!" Everyone exclaimed all at the same time with big stupid smiles on their faces.

I stepped forward from behind Father with a small timid smile. I still did get a little nervous toward the end. I guess I still hadn't regained complete control of my emotions yet. With a deep bow, I greeted everyone.

"I'm sorry for worrying everyone, but please don't worry about me anymore. I'm okay now."

Heisuke jumped up with a giant grin on his face. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him to the extra tray of food next to his tray.

"There's no need to be so formal. We're all glad just to see you again! Lets all eat together again, just like we use to!"

I couldn't stop my small smile from growing bigger as I let Heisuke pull me to my spot. It was good to be back. Father let me settle in my spot before he began speaking again.

"Before we all start to eat, Shizu-chan, I would like to finally introduce you to our two newest dojo members." Father gestured to the two men I had seen before but never formally met. The redhead spoke up first.

"It's nice to see you doing a lot better now. My name is Harada Sanosuke, but you can just call me Sano."

The brown-haired one with the green bandana spoke up boisterously right after Sano-san finished speaking.

"I'm Nagakura Shinpachi! Just call me Shinpachi! It's nice to finally meet you without you freaking out."

I turned red at Shinpachi-san's comment. When I first met Shinpachi-san, I had a panic attack and when I first met Sano-san, I thought he was another rapist even though he was the one that saved me. I must have made a terrible first impression. I should try to fix this.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience I must have caused the two of you, especially Sano-san. Sano-san saved me and I didn't even say 'thank you'…"

Sano-san smiled kindly at me, "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay now."

"Alright, that's enough talking for now! Lets all celebrate by eating our hearts out!" Shinpachi yelled out loudly before turning to Heisuke's tray and grabbing a sardine with his chopsticks.

"Hey! That was mine, you thief!" Heisuke yelled back irritated at the theft.

"Hahaha! You were too slow! First come, first serve!"

"Then you won't mind if I take this!" Heisuke retaliated by stealing the eggplant off from Shinpachi-san's tray.

"Ahh! You'll pay for that!" The atmosphere was certainly louder and livelier than before.

"Both of you stop this!" Inoue-san started to scold Heisuke and Shinpachi-san sternly. "Shizuka-chan just came back to us and you'll scare her off again with your rowdiness!"

Both men froze comically before turned to look at me. Shinpachi-san's arm was frozen in an arched position over Heisuke tray, ready to steal more food. Heisuke froze as he was tugging on both of Shinpachi-san's cheeks. I let out the giggle I was holding in. It was like watching a comedy routine on TV when those two bickered over food. I missed my TV from my past life, but I guess I won't need my TV anymore with these two around.

"It's fine! It doesn't bother me! It's nice to be back in such a lively setting. But Shinpachi-san, you shouldn't be stealing other people's food." I lightly scolded Shinpachi-san. "Here Heisuke, you can have my fish."

"Really?" Heisuke asked all starry-eyed.

"That's not fair!" Shinpachi complained when I didn't offer him any food.

"Well then, you shouldn't have been stealing anything in the first place." I sent Shinpachi-san a sly smirk. Shinpachi-san seemed like he would be a fun person to mess with.

* * *

><p>"So it was not as scary as you thought it would be to meet everyone again, right?" Tsune-san asked me as we washed the dishes together after the meal.<p>

"No, it wasn't. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. It was like being welcomed home after a long journey." I said with a soft smile as I continued to wash the dishes. There were so many more dishes to do now.

"Oh! Souji-kun, what can I help you with?" Tsune-san's words interrupted my train of thought.

_Souji-kun?_ I turned around to see that Tsune-san had stopped washing the dishes and was facing Souji, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Tsune-san, I can do the dishes for you. Tsune-san can go do something else." Souji said to Tsune-san with a serious look.

Tsune-san looked at Souji before turning to look at me then back at him.

"Oh, I see." She said slyly with a smile. "Then I leave everything to you two and go do the laundry." Tsune-san quickly left the kitchen while humming a small cheerful tune that somewhat resembled her favorite love song. _I don't understand. What was that about?_

Souji quickly replaced Tsune-san's place at my side and began washing the dishes. One look at his face and I could tell he was trying to hide his emotions, but was he failed quite miserably at it. He wore an expression that was a mix of sorrow and guilt. There was something he wanted to say to me and I was pretty sure I knew about what.

"It wasn't your fault." I said before Souji had a chance to speak.

"What?" He stopped all movement and looked at me through the corner of his eye.

"It wasn't your fault that I was almost raped."

His grip on the towel he was using to wash the dishes tightened and he grit his teeth before making his rebuttal.

"I knew there was a rapist on the loose in our area, but I still let you go by yourself. If I went with you then none of this would have happen!" he all but yelled towards the end.

I stopped doing the dishes and I moved to take the towel out of his hand. I grabbed both of his hands with mine before speaking.

"Souji, look at me." I said softly. He raised his troubled gaze and looked at me in the eye. "What happened to me wasn't your fault. What happened to me was because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. This isn't anybody's fault, so don't feel so guilty. If anything, I should be grateful. You and Heisuke came looking for me at the end instead of going home. Even if Sano-san wasn't there, I sure both of you would have rescued me."

Souji didn't say anything, but his gaze was still sorrowful. His arms swallowed me before I could even realize what was happening.

"I won't let anything happen to you again. I promise." His grip was tightening around me.

This wasn't working. Souji was still feeling guilty and was still blaming himself. Maybe I should try a different method to get his mind off of this.

"Can you help me with something after we're done with the dishes?" I asked Souji after deciding on a different method.

"Help you with something?"

* * *

><p>"So this was what you were doing with Tsune-san all those months" Souji said as he dodged my strike before he forced me to block his own. We were in the practice hall; both of us were facing each other while holding our respective practice weapons.<p>

"What happened to me opened my eyes. I refuse to be a burden anymore. I can defend myself now." I told Souji before he landed a gentle hit on my right side. "Well, for the most part." I fixed my statement.

Souji grinned at my last statement. "You can fight now, but you're slow."

"Hey! I'm still working on that!" I pouted back.

"Ahh! Souji! Just because you need someone to practice with doesn't mean you can just force Shizuka-chan to practice with you!" A new voice shouted, interrupting our match. Both Souji and I turned to see Heisuke pointing accusingly at Souji with both Sano-san and Shinpachi-san standing behind him.

"Stupid, I'm not forcing her to practice with me. Shizuka asked me herself to practice with her." Souji huffed at Heisuke and his accusation.

"EH?! Shizuka-chan can fight now?!" Heisuke didn't have to act that surprised. It wasn't really **that** strange I decide to learn how to fight, right? ...No, if I have to ask myself that question then it probably was…

"Heisuke, you shouldn't show your surprise that much. You'll offend Shizuka." Sano-san scolded Heisuke before slapping him on the back.

"So the little birdie can fight now." Shinpachi was grinning. He wrapped both of his arms around Heisuke's and Sano-san's shoulders and guided them to the side of the room. "Come on, let's watch! I wanna see how the little birdie fights."

"But…" Heisuke seemed hesitant.

I readied my weapon and faced Souji again. I wanted to impress everyone with the amount of progress I made. Souji sensed my determination and readied his weapon again.

I attacked first. I lunged at Souji's right side and forced him to block my attack. As soon as he blocked my attack, I spun my weapon to use the butt of the wooden naginata to strike his left leg while his weapon incapable of blocking my next attack. Souji read my move and leapt away before my hit connected.

"You're still too slow." Souji taunted before he launched his own barrage of attacks.

The speed of his attacks was immense and I was immediately pushed back. _Right, right, left, right, left. _I barely dodged each attack as one strike came dangerously close to my face. _He's getting too close! I need to create some space between us!_ I spun my weapon and forced us apart.

"Not bad..." I heard Sano-san say in the background. "Even though Souji is still going easy on her, she can still keep up to a certain extent."

Souji grinned playfully at me. _That jerk. Just because I'm a beginner doesn't mean I'm not a threat. I'll get a hit on him before this is all over. _I calculated my quick plan of action before I launched my next attack.

I broadly swept my weapon at his legs to force him to jump away from me. While Souji was in mid flight from his jump, I quickly changed the direction of my attack and slashed upwards. Surprised, Souji quickly brought his weapon down to block my attack. He managed to block my attack, but his grip on his weapon was knocked loose. As soon as he landed, I twirled my weapon around and hit his wooden sword with as much force as I could muster. _I can see your all weak spots. Every unconscious move you make before an attack, which foot you use to lunge, your eye movement, and how you attack all tell me everything I need to know to pinpoint your weak points. _The sword flew out of Souji's hands and nailed Shinpachi-san in the forehead.

"OUCH!" Shinpachi-san cried in the background while cradling his bruised head.

I ignored Shinpachi-san's cry of pain as I placed the tip of my weapon at Souji's throat.

"Just because I'm beginner doesn't mean you shouldn't take me seriously. Even a beginner can defeat a master if that master is reckless in his overconfidence. I can see all your weak spots." I told Souji seriously with narrowed eyes.

Souji looked at me surprised before rubbing the back of his head bashfully.

"I did that on purpose." Souji lied while pouting. He refused to look at me anymore.

"Hey! Isn't anybody going to apologize to me?!" Shinpachi-san yelled in the background as we all continued to ignore him.

"You have an extremely useful talent there." Sano-san said to me as he approached both Souji and I. "Not many people can see all of their opponent's weaknesses without many years of training and experience first."

"That's right!" Heisuke agreed as he bounced over, leaving Shinpanchi-san to sulk on his own near the wall. "You're pretty amazing, Shizuka-chan!"

"I'm sure it's not as amazing as it seems." I told the guys. I had been watching Souji train since we were both mere children and I was sure I only managed to disarm Souji because I had grown accustomed to his fighting style.

"Don't sell yourself short." Sano-san said as he ruffled my hair with a smile. "If you still doubt yourself then I'll face you next. I'll prove your statement wrong."

"Eh? Sano-san, you're fighting her now? Don't you think you should let Shizuka-chan rest a little first? She might be tired." Heisuke looked at me worryingly.

"Don't worry about me. It takes a lot more than this to make me tired. My training was much harder and much more intense than this." My grin took on a slightly more feral form.

"That's the spirit." Sano-san said as he went to grab the long wooden pole from one of the racks near the wall. He got into position in front of me as everyone else moved to the side.

"I'll tell you this now: my main weapon is the spear, unlike everyone else here." Sano-san warned me before he launched his first attack.

* * *

><p>Saito should appear in the next chapter.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her."  
>― Lao Tzu<p>

It was the summer of 1862 and it was hot. It was at times like this I wished that someone had already invented the air conditioner. Maybe I should try going for a swim in the river later. I was in the main practice hall of the dojo listening to Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and Heisuke talk about random nonsense until they got to the topic of money.

"I'm starving. When was the last time I ate something decent?" Shinpachi-san complained. Is he implying that both my and Tsune-san's cooking isn't decent? Well, it not like we have been cooking anything fancy lately anyways. "Hey Heisuke, can I borrow some money? I'll pay you back later." He continued as he asked Heisuke for some money. I was pretty sure Shinpachi-san had spent the remainder of his money when he went out drinking, which I was very upset with, by the way. Why is it that no one ever lets me drink alcohol?

"Are you kidding? I'm not lending you any money! Lending money to you is like throwing it away since I see no hope of getting it back." Heisuke denied Shinpachi-san's request with a sour look.  
>"What? Miser! You talk like I never return money!"<p>

"Oh yeah? Then gimme back what I paid for you the last time we went drinking!" Wait, they went out drinking but didn't take me? That is so unfair.  
>"I told you, I don't have the money now! When I earn big money, I'll repay double."<br>"When is **that** gonna happen? Besides, I'm pretty much broke myself. I haven't gotten any remittance lately." Heisuke argued back.  
>Sano-san sighed after listening to those two argue. "Without any money at all, I couldn't even try to win more by gambling."<p>

"Is that how you get your money, Sano-san?" I asked while Heisuke and Shinpachi-san continued to bicker in the background.

"Hm? No, it's just the fastest way to get money right now." He answered me as he looked away. Sano-san seemed a little bit ashamed.

The noise in room stopped while I was looking at Sano-san and I turned towards the Heisuke and Shinpachi-san to find that they had stopped arguing. Shinpachi-san was staring at me.

"Yes?" Why was Shinpachi-san staring at me like that? It's not like I have any money for him to borrow.

"Shizuka-chan," Shinpachi-san began with a large smile while sounding suspiciously sweet. "Do you have any money I can borrow?"

"Oi, what do you think you're doing? You shouldn't be asking Shizuka for money." Sano-san cut in before I could answer. Sano-san expression clearly showed that he disapproved of Shinpachi-san course of action. Shinpachi-san grinned and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

I sighed at Shinpachi-san's request for money. "All of my spending money was spent to buy groceries to feed all you guys," I explained. "But because of the lack of money in the first place, I couldn't buy anything fancy, hence the plain meals you've been getting."

At least Shinpachi-san had the decency to be embarrassed upon hearing my statement. I opened my mouth to tell the guys about a few jobs I had heard about while I was at the market when an unknown voice called from the front of the dojo.

"Excuse me. Is anyone in?"

All of us looked at each other before Shinpachi-san and I went to answer the door. We were both greeted with the sight of a strange man. This man wore all black and a scarf on a hot summer day and did so without even sweating. However, the most curious thing was that this man wore both of his swords on the right side of his hip and not on the left. Usually left-hand sword users would be corrected when they enrolled in any dojo. This was why there were no left-handed samurai. But here was this man that wore his swords on the right side like it was perfectly natural.

"Kondou-san...I mean young master isn't in. Are you here for taryū-jiai?" Shinpachi-san asked the stranger. If this man was here for taryū-jiai, then that meant he was here to test his skill with a sword by challenging Father, the master of the dojo, to a match.

"Exactly" The man's response was short and calm.

I had no idea who this man was but I could immediately tell that he was strong. He had confidence in the way he wore his swords despite being the opposite of the norm. The way he carried himself and the aura that oozed out from every pore of his being seemed to proclaim his strength. This man was a dangerous and powerful opponent.

"Please come in and wait. I think he will be back in a little while." I said to the man. The stranger's reply was so short that Shinpachi-san didn't know what to say.

Shinpachi-san signaled man to follow the both us to the main practice hall inside the dojo. The man nodded in response and followed us in silence. When we reached the main practice hall, I slid open the doors for both men. Sano-san and Heisuke looked at us with surprise when they saw an extra face.

"What do we have here? It'd be great if he's a new pupil, but I don't think anyone would come all the way to our shabby dojo. So he's a dojo-yaburi?" Sano-san asked Shinpachi-san. By dojo-yaburi, Sano-san had meant challenger.

"I'm afraid so." Shinpachi-san answered Sano-san's question. "What do we do now? Should I send Shizuka to go ask for help from Renpeikan as usual?"

Renpeikan was another nearby dojo that also used the Tennen Rishin-ryū style. Whenever there was a challenger at Father's dojo, I usually had to run down to Renpeikan to get someone to take the challenge for us. The expertise of our dojo was actual combat, not matches with bamboo swords. Everyone at Father's dojo always practiced with wooden swords and those wooden swords were just as heavy as real swords. A sword match using bamboo swords was not our specialty. Therefore, whenever we had a challenger, I would get sent to the nearby dojo to ask them to send someone to take care of the challenger for us.

Just as I was leaving to get help from Renpeikan, I bumped into Souji in the hallway on my way out.

"Hm? Shizuka, where are you going?" He asked as a particularly nasty look evaporated from his face when he saw me. He must have gotten into another fight with Hijikata-san.

"We have a challenger, so I was running to Renpeikan to get them to send someone to take care of the challenge for us." I told Souji.

"There's no need, I'll take care of it." He said before taking my hand and leading me back to the main practice hall.

When we both got to the entrance of main practice hall, Shinpachi-san had moved from his original position in the room and was now blocking the doorway with his back while he was trying to speak to Sano-san, Heisuke, and the stranger.

"Shinpachi-san, get out of the way, will ya? You know how annoying it is for someone so big to block the entrance like this?" Souji said to Shinpachi-san as his foul mood returned in full force.

Shinpachi-san turned around to see Souji and me and quickly moved aside to let us through when he saw Souji's terrible mood. Souji looked at the man who was now standing against the opposite wall before turning back to Shinpachi-san. I think Souji just wanted to take the challenge just so he could work off his bad mood by beating someone up.

"So he's the one who requested the taryū-jiai?" Souji asked Shinpachi-san with annoyance evident in his voice.

"Yeah. So I sent Shizuka-chan to go request Renpeikan—" Shinpachi-san started before he was interrupted.

"There's no need. I can do it. I happened to have some free time." Souji cut into Shinpachi-san's sentence before letting go of my hand.

"Hey... hey! Are you sure, Souji? If you, the head pupil gets defeated, it's defeat of the whole Shieikan!" Shinpachi-san was worried about Souji and the challenge.

Shinpachi-san had every right to be worried about Souji taking the challenge. No matter how skilled Souji was, he was absolutely terrible when he had to use a bamboo sword. It might have been better to wait for Father to return…

Souji turned back to the man against the wall and said, "In this dojo, we use wooden swords that are as heavy as real swords. Is that alright with you? That's going to seriously hurt if you get hit in the head. If you want to run, you still can."

The tone that Souji used was absolutely terrifying to those who weren't use to it and his attitude was usually enough to drive off all challengers. However, the man replied without any change of expression.

"I've had matches with numerous wooden sword users. They all gave big talk like you. But none of them were able to defeat me."

"I see. So you've had weak opponents." was Souji's response.

There wasn't a change in the man's expression, but everyone could see the coldness and confidence increase in his eyes. Souji was content when the challenger didn't flee and told challenger to wait while preparations were made. I went to retrieve two wooden swords from the racks against the walls of the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Shinpachi-san tug on Sano-san's sleeves.

"Hey, Souji is worked up today. Did I miss something?" Shinpachi-san whispered to Sano-san.

"I bet it's just another quarrel with Hijikata-san. Isn't that always the reason for him to be so pissed?" Sano-san whispered back.

"You're right. Hijikata-san and Souji don't learn. Must they argue over every boring thing everyday?" Shinpachi-san asked but received no answer.

I handed the two wooden swords I retrieved from the racks to Souji. He handed the challenger one before asking his opponent about a mask and gauntlets for protection.

"There's no need." responded the man.

At the man's words, Souji grinned sadistically. If the students of this dojo saw that grin then they all would have shit their pants while running away crying.

"By the way, I haven't asked your name. I'd like to hear it while you can still speak. So what is it?" Souji asked confidently.

"... Saitou Hajime." said the man.

"So you're Saitou-kun. My name is Okita Souji, nice to meet you. Shizuka, go stand next to Sano-san and Heisuke. Shinpachi-san, would you be our referee?" Both men went to stand in front of each other.

Sano-san and Heisuke seemed confident that Souji would win and therefore weren't paying much attention to the match that was about to take place. They weren't even interested in the result. Both moved to a corner of the main practice hall and started playing shogi.

Both Souji and Saito had gotten into their positions when Souji then noticed that Saito's form was in reverse.

"Well, left-handed? Hmm... I see." Souji commented.

"It's my sword style. Pardon me." Saito replied without wavering.

"It's no big deal. Be it left or right, there's no way I'd lose." Souji was confident that he would not lose.

I got the feeling that Souji was being overconfident. There was no way this match would be a normal match. I glanced over at Shinpachi-san. He seemed to feel the same way I did about this match.

"Begin!" Shinpachi officially started the match.

Both men held their swords in middle stance. In middle stance, it was easier to react to the opponent's movements and find a chance to attack. That's why middle stance is the basic of the basics for swordplay. Both of them held still, trying to find a chance to attack. Saitou attacked first. He stepped out with his left foot. Souji's eyes widened with surprise. Being an expert in swords, both the mind and body were accustomed to the movements of a right-handed opponent. But Saitou's movements were in reverse. Souji's past experiences were not going to work in this match.

Saito launched into his attack in a quick series of thrusts. Souji's stance immediately collapsed at the onslaught of the attacks as he barely dodged all the attacks. Seeing Souji lose his stance, Saito didn't let the opening slip by. The onslaught of attacks continued, preventing Souji from resuming his stance. There was anxiety on Souji's face. Despite all the years I had lived with Souji, I had never seen him like this. He seemed to realize that if he didn't fight with his full ability then he would lose. Souji knocked the next attack away with his wooden sword before going on the offensive. This time it was Saito's stance that collapsed. Souji grinned at the opening and performed his signature move, the Sandanzuki. The Sandanzuki was a fatal attack that required extraordinary speed and precision to perform. It consisted of three thrust that were so fast that it appeared like the three thrust were made at the same exact time. Saito took one hit.

"One hit!" Shinpachi-san yelled out, officially ending the match. However, neither of the men backed off and continued to whack each other with the wooden swords.

"Shinpachi-san, we should try to stop them." I said while watching both men beat each other up. "They might actually kill each other if they continue."

"Hey... Hey! One hit! I said one hit! Can't you hear?" Both men continued to ignore Shinpachi-san. This was becoming more of like a brawl with wooden sticks with each passing second.

"Well, well. You're much better than I expected! I've never seen anyone able to stay on his feet after taking a hit from me." Souji complemented Saito. There was excitement hidden in Souji's sarcastic tone.

Saito replied with a faint smile. "You too. You are the first one not to be taken down by my first attack."

The loud sounds of wooden blades crossing continued to fill the dojo. Even though both men were sweaty and covered in bruises, they both wore the expression of glee. Both of them must have been thinking the same thing: "Finally I've met someone at my level!" Sano-san and Heisuke had already forgotten about their shogi game and were now watching the battle with unhinged jaws.

"I said stop! The match is over!" Shinpachi-san yelled again, but he was once again ignored.

I went to grab my wooden naginata that was leaning against the wall. There was a good chance that we would have to force both Souji and Saito apart before they killed each other.

A roar came from the entrance of the room. "Shizuka! Force those two apart! Shinpachi! Heisuke! Pin Souji down! Harada! Grab the other!" Looks like Hijikata-san and Father were finally here.

I slipped my wooden practice weapon between Souji and Saito and quickly pushed them apart. As soon as they were both far away enough from each other, Shinpachi-san and Heisuke rushed in and pinned Souji to the floor with a loud thump while Sano-san went to restrain Saito.

"Calm—calm down, Souji." Shinpachi-san said as he struggled to keep Souji down.

"Yeah! You're going to kill him!" Heisuke agreed.

"This side is secured." Sano-san stated as he held Saito back with a powerful grip on one shoulder. Saito knelt on the floor as he tried to catch his breath.

"I knew the racket in the dojo sounded unusual. What the heck were you doing?!" Hijikata-san loudly asked the men in question.

"Hahahaha! Too bad! For the first time, I thought I'd get to kill somebody." Souji said from the floor while panting before he started laughing. I went to check on his wounds. He seemed okay for the most part, he would just be a panda for a few days.

"What nonsense are you talking about?!" Hijikata-san scolded Souji. "If someone dies in a match, we'll never get any new pupils!"

Father placed a hand on Hijikata-san shoulder. "Anyways, we should tend the wounds first. I'll get some ointments, Ishida Sanyaku, and sake." Then Father turned to get said items before Hijikata-san stopped him.

"You don't need to do such things, Kondou-san! You're the master of this dojo and you should act like it." Hijikata-san said to Father and turned to Heisuke. "Heisuke! Go get the first aid kit for Shizuka!"

"Alright! I got it!" Heisuke replied before jumping up and running out of the dojo's main practice hall.

As soon as Heisuke left, Father turned to face Saito. "Although I only saw part of your match, I see you're greatly skilled. What's your name?

Saito seemed stunned. I guess that was to be expected. He was using his left hand in the match but he was praise by the dojo master instead of being thrown out. Wielding a sword with the left hand was considered inappropriate.

"What is it? Was it something I said?" Father asked when he did not get a reply.

"No… It's just that… I was using a left-handed stance. Didn't you notice?" Saito asked, bewildered.

"Huh? Oh! I've heard that lefties are often talented. So it's true." I think Father misunderstood that question… Saito was probably asking why he hadn't been thrown out yet.

Saito's eyes, understandably, widened at Father's response. He was speechless. Hijikata-san, who actually understood what Saito meant, spoke up.

"What's that about? Was that what people in other dojos said? Left-handed or right-handed, a victory is a victory. It's just that they can't a defeat. How disgraceful."

Now Saito really was surprised. Father's and Hijikata-san's words seemed to have touched Saito. There was no way Saito wasn't going to join our dojo after this. I moved over to Saito's side and began checking on his wounds.

"Let me know if anything hurts, I'll most likely be the one that will be treating any of your injuries from now on."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."  
>― Ralph W. Sockman<p>

I swung my wooden weapon forward only to miss by a hair. Sparing with Heisuke was far more challenging than sparing with Tsune-san was; he was faster and less predicable.

"Whoa! That was close! You almost got me, Shizuka-chan." Heisuke exclaimed as he jumped away from my attack.

"I may have been close, but a miss is still a miss." I was irritated with myself. While I did improve enough to pose somewhat of a threat, the amount of times I could hit the guys was only slightly higher than the amount of times I missed them. My hit rate was only a poor 65%.

"Hey, let's take a break." Heisuke suggested. "We've been going at each other for some time and you're probably tired by now."

I nodded and used my sleeve to wipe the sweat off of my forehead before walking over to where Heisuke sat down. I slumped down next to him.

"So, how come you're asking me to spar with you so much now?" he asked. "You usually ask Tsune-san or Souji to spar with you." He did have a point. I have been spending most of my free time with sparring with him now.

"Because Souji spends most of his time sparring with Saito-san now and because I'm better at naginatajutsu than Tsune-san is now. If I want to improve, doesn't it make sense to practice with someone stronger? Besides, Tsune-san is pregnant." I explained. "Pregnant women shouldn't be participating in sports where they can take hits. It may cause a miscarriage."

I could have gone to spar with Shinpachi-san or Sano-san, but then that would have been less than ideal. Both men had a tendency to be too easy on me when we sparred. Heisuke was the best option, and the most fun too.

"Oh I see... Wait! Tsune-san's pregnant?! How come no one ever tells me these things?" His eyes popped out of his skull as he digested the information.

"Only Tsune-san, me, and now you, know about the pregnancy. Tsune-san has only known about her pregnancy for a week now. Even Father doesn't even know yet, although, Tsune-san might tell him later today."

"Oh. How come you know about it before Kondou-san?" Heisuke asked me curiously.

"I was the one who put together the signs. Tsune-san has had tender breasts, lightheadedness and dizziness, nausea, and her flow was about five weeks late. I thought it was pretty obvious."

"How do you know about these things? Most women only know what the signs of pregnancy are **after **they've had their first child. Unless... don't tell me... you've been pregnant before?!"

_Pregnant before?_ I violently twitched before standing up and pulling forcefully on Heisuke's hair. "Do I **LOOK **like I've been pregnant before?!"

"OUCH!" he cried out in pain. "No you don't! Ouch! Let go! Ouch, ouch, ouch! I'm sorry! Ouch!"

I huffed and sat back down again after releasing his hair.

"Ouch, that really hurt!" He complained while rubbing the part of his head where his ponytail was attached.

"Good! It was supposed to!" I turned my head away from him and crossed my arms. Me, pregnant before? What a joke. I haven't even had sex with anyone in this life yet. I grabbed my weapon and stood up again. "Come on, the break has been long enough."

Heisuke looked up at me hesitantly. "You just want a chance to beat me up now, don't you?"

"Yes." I admitted.

"Gah! I don't wanna get beat up. That would be so lame. And I said I was sorry!" He tried to placate me. Before I could respond, another voice interrupted.

"You should be a good boy and train, Heisuke." Souji's voice called over from the door. Heisuke and I turned to see both Souji and Saito-san standing in the doorway with wooden swords. "This is the practice hall. If you aren't training then get out and make room for those who are."

Heisuke turned to argue with Souji but I focused my attention on Saito-san. I didn't quite know what to make of him. He was a really powerful swordsman, but he was always so quiet and taciturn. He was also the only one that paid honorariums whenever he came to the dojo. He didn't live with us, but he often stayed for meals. We never really spoke to each other. All we ever did was nod at each other as a greeting whenever we crossed paths.

"Heisuke," I interrupted his argument with Souji. It was about time to go and I didn't want to be late. "Let's go. We're done anyways."

"Huh? But..." Heisuke glanced back at me.

"They need some room for a match and I have something I need your help with."

"Oh, okay..." Both of us left the dojo to let Souji and Saito-san have their match.

Heisuke followed me out of the front gate before he noticed that we were heading towards the market.

"Hey, where are we going?" he asked.

"To earn some money." I answered. "You know old man Fujiwara, right?"

"You mean the old man that sells pottery at the market?"

"He broke his arm and needs someone to help him run his stall and move his goods around his warehouse. He told me that he would pay me to help him run his stall."

"So that's where you've been getting your extra money. What do you need my help for?"

"The goods in Fujiwara's warehouse are in large boxes and I can't move them all on my own."

"Oh! Okay! But seriously, our financial situation isn't looking so hot." Heisuke said as we continued towards our destination. "It's a wonder that we all haven't starved yet."

* * *

><p>"That was some hard work. Now my back is all sore from the lifting." Heisuke said while stretching his back on our way back home from the extra job."<p>

"What's this? Is Heisuke getting old?" I teased him playfully.

"Aww, gimme a break. Even the strongest man will get tired lifting all those boxes. It was like he kept mountain inside his warehouse!" Heisuke gestured in an exaggerated fashion. I giggled at his flashy show of movements as we continued home.

The moment we arrived at the front gate of the dojo, someone collided into me then proceeded to pick me up.

"Hahaha! Shizu-chan there you are!" Father yelled loudly before he spun me around. "You'll never guess what news I just got!"

I hated being spun around like this. Heisuke was absolutely no help as he just stood there and watched Father spin me around in circles. Tsune-san and Hijikata-san stood at the entrance to the dojo with smiles on their faces. I'm going to make an educated guess and say that Tsune-san told Father about her pregnancy and that Hijikata-san just happened to be in the same room when that piece of news was announced.

"Let me guess, I'm going to be a big sister." I said so plainly that Father thought he misheard me.

"Wha—How do you know?"

"I was the one who told Tsune-san that she was pregnant."

"EH?!" How do you know these things?!" Father asked in shock as he placed me back down on the ground again.

"Because I'm magical." I said in a deadpan voice. Tsune-san laughed at Father's bewildered expression in the background.

* * *

><p>Dinner was a lively affair. With the news that Tsune-san was pregnant, everyone was ecstatic. Dinner was feast. There were so many different dishes and the jars of sake were brought out. Unfortunately for me, no one would let me drink any sake. I really didn't understand what was with everyone's obsession on not letting me drink any alcohol. It's wasn't like I was a child anymore. Everyone offered their congratulations to Father and Tsune-san and wished them well. Then almost everyone proceeded to drink themselves silly long after dinner was over. Despite his being a joyous occasion, something didn't seem right. Souji had barely touched his meal and he didn't touch any sake at all. He looked rather pale compared with this morning when he had come into the main practice hall.<p>

I moved around the idiot trio's drunken dance and went to sit next to Souji. Father, Tsune-san, Sannan-san, and Hijikata-san already went to bed and Saito-san already left the dojo for the night. I placed my hand on Souji's forehead.

"Huh? Shizuka?" he asked. It looked like wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings.

"Are you feeling alright? You look like you're sick." I asked him softly. His forehead was warm, but there was no fever yet.

"Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little off." He admitted.

I put my arm under his shoulder and helped him up. "I'm taking you to bed. You should be resting if you're feeling sick."

"Oh? You're taking me to bed? I didn't know you felt that way about me." He raised his eyebrows jokingly in a suggestive manner despite feeling quite ill.

"This isn't the time to joke around." I admonished him. "Come on, let's go." We began walking back to his room.

I set Souji on his futon after we had reached his room. I placed my hand on his forehead again to check his temperature before I pulled his hair down out of his topknot.

"If you weren't feeling well, then why didn't you go to bed early?" I asked as I went to go fetch his sleepwear from the closet.

"It's just that everyone was happy for Kondou-san and I didn't want to ruin the mood." He told me while looking down at the floor like a scolded child.

"Can you tell me what your symptoms are?"

"I have a runny nose, a sore throat, and I started to cough a few hours back."

"Here, put these on and go to bed." I handed him his sleepwear. "It sounds like a bad cold, but it's too soon to know what illness you caught yet. I'll come back tomorrow morning to check on you. Okay?"

"Okay." he agreed submissively.

I brushed back his bangs before kissing him on the forehead. "Rest well."

I left his room to let him rest and headed back to the dining hall to drag the idiot trio to their beds before they drank themselves into comas.

It was the next morning in the hour of the tiger when I came back to Souji's room to check on him. I slid his door open and closed it after I had entered.

"Souji?" I called out quietly to him.

"Ugh, Shizuka?" His voice was hoarse and weak.

I walked over to where he laid and examined him. He was covered in cold sweat and I could see rashes starting to form all over his body. I place my hand on his forehead under his bangs. He had a high fever. I recognized all of these symptoms. He had caught the measles and I was horrified. I wasn't worried about myself, since I had caught the measles when I was four, but I was worried for Souji. The measles was lethal for an adult and more than often ended with death during this era.

"Are you cold? You have a fever." I asked gently while stroking his head.

"Yeah…"

"You have the measles. I'll be right back, I have to inform Father." I moved to stand up but was stopped when Souji weakly grabbed my arm.

"Isn't it extremely contagious? There's a chance I may have infected you already. Shouldn't you try to keep away from everyone else to prevent it from spreading?" He asked worriedly.

"I already caught the measles when I was four. I'm immune to it now so I don't have to worry so much about spreading it." Souji let go of my arm after my explanation and I left to inform Father.

After I informed Father of Souji's illness, Souji was immediately relocated to one of Father's acquaintance's house in Fuda for recuperation. The main reason for the relocation was the fear of spreading the illness, especially now that Tsune-san was pregnant. Despite the measles being known to be highly contagious, Father still insisted that he should be able go visit Souji daily.

* * *

><p>Father and Hijikata-san were away on business at the current moment, I believed it was a Degeiko. Heisuke, Sano-san, and Shinpachi-san were at the market looking for some way to bring in some income. Tsune-san was sleeping away some of the fatigue that came with the pregnancy. Souji was still away because of the measles. I was alone in the dojo and I wandered my way to the practice hall in complete boredom. No, I wasn't alone. Saito-san was in the practice hall swinging a wooden sword.<p>

"Oh, hello." I wasn't sure what else to say. What do people say to one as silent to Saito-san anyways?

Saito-san nodded at me before asking me, "Is there something you need?"

"No, it's just that there's no one else around…" I said as I stared at the floor.

"I see." Saito-san resumed his sword swinging.

Saito-san was strong and well liked by everyone at the dojo. I didn't know Saito-san well at all, but I was curious about him. I looked at my wooden naginata leaning against the wall. Well, what better way was there to learn about a silent warrior other than a sparring together?

"Saito-san? If you have some time right now, then do you think you could have a small practice match with me?" His eyes widened slightly at my request.

"You know how to fight?" he asked with surprise.

Saito-san had never seen me fight before. He may have caught the end of my practice session with Heisuke the day before yesterday, but he never actually saw me swinging any weapon. He must have thought I was just in the main practice hall to watch Heisuke train by himself.

"I wield a naginata." I said while walking to the wall to retrieve my weapon. "While I am nowhere near being the master of naginatajutsu, I am curious how my combat skills compare to yours."

"Very well," he said in a cool voice that had a slight hint of approval. "Let us test our skill against each other."

We got into position in front of each other. I was going to wait for him to make his first move. I had seen him spar with Souji over the past few weeks and it became obvious that I would be no match for him in terms of speed. No, if I wanted to have a chance at winning then I needed to watch his moves and learn how to read his attacks. No matter how powerful he was, he wasn't a perfect. Like every other person, he had openings and weaknesses. The moment I see that single opening or weakness is the moment I will strike.

When Saito-san realized I wasn't going to attack him first, he made his first attack. A quick and precise thrust was aim towards my right shoulder. I soon as I saw his left foot move, I ducked to avoid the incoming thrust and I brought my own weapon in an upwards jab aimed towards his face. His eyes widened as he spun around to avoid my attack. While he was spinning to avoid my attack, his weapon also followed his movement and was aimed towards my back. Expecting an incoming attack, I quickly twirled my weapon around and forced us apart. His wooden sword barely grazed my shoulder before I could fully get some distance between us. As shallow as that hit was, it was still a hit. I had lost.

"You are much more skilled than I anticipated you would be." Saito-san told me in a slightly impressed tone.

I sighed. "But it still wasn't enough. I still lost."

"While there is still some room for improvement, you fought well. You utilized strategy well when you realized you could not match my speed. Your attacks held no hesitation and you attacked confidently. You are a fine warrior."

I was stunned at his words. Not only had he complimented me, but this was the most I have ever heard him say all at once.

"The main area you could use improvement in is your speed. Come here, I will teach you how to increase your speed."

We spent the rest of the morning training together. Despite being so silent, Saito-san was thoughtful of others and really nice.

* * *

><p>Father and Hijikata-san returned home in the afternoon after being out all morning. As I understood it, both of them were leaving again, but this time it was to go visit Souji. I convinced both of them to take me with them. I was worried about how Souji was doing. He must have been very lonely since he had to be put into isolation. When we arrived at the room where Souji was resting, it was surprising to see him sitting up.<p>

"Sorry I'm late." Father apologized to Souji. "Degeiko took longer than expected."

Souji's face brightened up considerably when he saw Father and I. "Ah… Welcome, Kondou-san, Shizuka."

"How are you feeling? Has the fever gone down?" Hijikata-san asked Souji. He was worried about Souji despite the fact that they never got along well with each other. However, Souji was less than pleased to see Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san is here too." Souji said with a sour face. He never did like to share people with Hijikata-san.

"Don't give me that indifferent look. We're fellow disciples, after all." Hijikata-san said to counter the displeased look on Souji's face.

"Toshi was worried about you. When I got home yesterday, he kept asking about how you were doing. Since he's so worried, I invited him to come and visit you together." Father explained Hijikata-san's presence. Souji still looked displeased.

"Many pupils aren't coming to the dojo because of the epidemic, so there aren't many things to do in the dojo anyways." Hijikata-san explained further.

"The disease carried in by the foreigners? I heard there's no way to prevent it." Father said before everyone turned to look at me. They all suspected that I had an answer.

"Measles, also known as rubeola, is a viral infection of the respiratory system. It's a very contagious disease that can spread through contact with infected mucus and saliva. The coughing or sneezing infected person(s) can release the virus into the air. This virus can live on surfaces for several hours. As the infected particles enter the air and settle on surfaces, anyone within close proximity can become infected with the measles virus." I explained. "People who are at a higher risk of becoming infected are people who have a vitamin A deficiency. Meaning you," I pointed to Souji, "don't eat enough vegetables."

"This is worrisome." Father said after hearing my explanation.

"Please be careful too, Kondou-san. If you fall sick, what would Shieikan do without you?" Souji became more worried about Father after hearing about how contagious his illness was.

"Me? I'm too healthy. There's no need to worry. However, I'm worried that even request for degeiko have decreased. The future is so grim. What will become of this country?" Father became depressed towards the end. Seeing Father's depressed face made Souji more upset.

"Don't be pessimistic. When the world is stirred, there's a chance for us rise from obscurity. A hero only stands out in a turbulent age, right?" Hijikata-san said trying to cheer Father up. Hijikata-san was always good with words.

"A hero that stands out?" Father asked.

"I'm talking about you, of course. Like I said before, you deserve more than being a master of a small dojo." Hijikata-san spoke the magical words to Father.

"Nah. I already said I'm not that great." Father said bashfully with a smile.

I turned to look at Souji. He seemed depressed that Hijikata-san was the one that cheered Father up while he wasn't able to do anything.

I cleared my throat before I spoke up. "Father, Hijikata-san, both of you already know how infectious the measles are. Both of you should get ready to leave before we end up with two more sick patients."

"Ah! Shizu-chan is right! Come on Toshi, we can come back to visit Souji tomorrow." Father said as both men prepared to leave.

"Huh? Aren't you coming too, Shizuka?" Hijikata-san asked me when he saw that I did not move from my position.

"No, I'll stay here until Souji gets well again. I already caught the measles when I was four, so I'm immune to it now. I won't get sick." Souji seemed so upset. Maybe if I stay here with him, he'll feel better.

"Alright," Father said to me. "But make sure you don't overwork yourself." Both men left shortly afterwards.

"You don't have to stay here with me. I'm sure you have better things to do than to stay here and care for me." Souji said to me after a moment of silence.

"No, I have nothing better to do." I corrected Souji's statement. I couldn't leave him to suffer alone. "Scoot over." I said.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Souji complied with my request and I got into his futon. I cradled his head against my chest.

"It's lonely to suffer by yourself right?" I asked him while running my fingers through his hair. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and allowed himself to rest.

* * *

><p>Historically, Okita really did catch the measles the summer before the group left for Kyoto. Many suspect the measles is what weakened his immune system enough for him to catch TB. A few more chapters until everyone heads for Kyoto.<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"I want to grow. I want to be better. You Grow. We all grow. We're made to either evolve or you disappear."  
>― Tupac Shakur<p>

This has had to be one of the biggest and one of the stupidest mistakes I have ever made. I knew that I wasn't anywhere close to being considered a master in naginatajutsu, but why was it that I thought that I could actually fight at the same level as all the other guys? Yes, it was true that I learned fast and had superior observation skills, but I still had only been wielding a naginata for about one year. Thump! My naginata was knocked out of my hands and I soon followed it to the floor.

"Ow…" _Wow, that sounded absolutely pathetic._

I had been training with the guys lately just so I could spend time with them and I had began to feel confident that I could fight them at their normal level, so I had asked them to stop giving me a handicap every time when we sparred. After all, I had managed to score hits on all of them during all the practice matches. All of them refused my request, of course. Feeling displeased with their refusal, I went to find Hijikata-san. I knew he wouldn't go easy on me if we had a practice match. The result of the match was almost completely one-sided. While it did take some time for me lose the match, I could hardly say that I actually landed any successful hits.

"Are you alright?" Hijikata-san asked before he grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"I can't believe how unbelievably stupid I was. I was overconfident and I didn't even realize it." I was put off my own thoughts. How could I not even realize that I had **that **been overconfident? What had happened to my insight that I had so much pride in? I was far more blind than I originally thought I was and had not realized just how much the men had lowered their level skill just so they could train me.

"Well, it's not entirely your fault. The others did mislead you quite a bit even if it was unintentional." Hijikata-san said before giving me a small shove on the back. "It's almost time for lunch and you should be in the kitchen helping Tsune-san."

I handed Hijikata-san my wooden practice weapon and headed towards the kitchen. What he said was probably true. They probably didn't want to hurt the person that had become like their little sister and probably babied me quite a bit, but the problem was that I didn't want to be babied. I couldn't get stronger if I was constantly protected.

"I never asked them to baby me like this…" I muttered as I headed towards the kitchen.

Hijikata-san raised his eyebrow at my retreating form.

* * *

><p>Father had made an announcement when everyone had gathered in the dining hall for lunch.<p>

"I have just received some wonderful news this morning! A Hatamoto has nominated me to be an instructor in the Shogunate's military academy! If this nomination goes through then I will be able to train the youngsters from Gokenin in swordsmanship!" Father couldn't hide any of his excitement. After all of these years, he had finally been acknowledged. "Am I in a dream?"

"What are you talking about? I always said that you were more than a master of a small dojo. Among all the dojos in Edo, is there anyone stronger than you?" Hijikata-san said to Father. Everyone else agreed with Hijikata-san.

Father looked away in embarrassment, but soon beamed afterwards. "I see. You have a point. I've never been so happy that I persisted in swordsmanship. Of course I'm happy that my skills are acknowledged, but more importantly… Everyone won't have to worry about money! That's the best thing!"

"Even at a time like this, you always put others in front of you." Hijikata-san shook his head with a smile.

Everyone cheered at the good news and Sano-san ran back to the kitchen to bring out some more sake for the celebration. Maybe our small dojo did have a chance to survive in these turbulent times.

* * *

><p>It was the December of 1862 when Tsune-san gave birth to Father's actual biological daughter. While I was the one who figured out that Tsune-san was pregnant, I had been wrong about how far along she initially was. Tsune-san failed to tell me that she wasn't really keeping track of her flow and told me a very rough estimate of how late her flow was. A very, very, very rough estimate. Kondou Tamako was born in the hour of the tiger after eight hours of labor. Tsune-san was strangely graceful during the birthing process. She never cried out in pain or complained. In fact, it looked like she wasn't even in pain. Now <strong>that<strong> was impressive. If I was the one that had to give birth then I probably would have screamed at the doctors to give me an epidural.

Father stood next to Tsune-san as he held Tamako-chan for the first time. His eyes were filled with tears of happiness.

"My sweet little Tamako-chan…" Father said in quiet awe as he carefully cradled the new born baby in his arms.

Tsune-san laid on the futon looking utterly spent. She watched her husband hold their daughter with a maternal smile.

"Shizuka-chan," She called me over. I put down the dirty sheets. "Come and meet your new sister."

I walked over to Father and Tamako-chan. As soon as Father saw me approach, he passed Tamako-chan over to me. She was a decent size and weighed the proper amount. Despite only being a few minutes old, it was already obvious that Tamako-chan had a very fine facial structure. She was going to grow up to be very beautiful.

"Hello there Tamako-chan. You know, when you grow up, Father is going to have to chase all the boys off with his sword. You're going to be very pretty." I said to my new little sister quietly as she started to doze off.

"WHAT BOYS?!" Father yelled when he caught what I was saying.

The loud sounds of a baby crying filled the room.

* * *

><p>It was now January 1863. I sat on the porch of the dojo while rocking Tamako-chan back and forth in my arms. For some reason, Tamako-chan really liked the cold weather. I heavily disliked the cold, but the cold was what was keeping Tamako-chan asleep and silent. I was watching the sunset while I waited for Father and Hijikata-san to return. It had been some time since the Hatamoto nominated Father for the instructor position, but we had gotten no news of its progress until now. Father and Hijikata-san left earlier today when Father received a summon. A few more minutes passed before I decided it was time to go back inside, but I stopped when I saw Father and Hijikata-san walking up the road. Something wasn't right. Father was gazing at the ground while walking lifelessly like a ghost. I walked towards the two men to greet them, but stopped when I heard a small part of their conversation.<p>

"...I'm just useless." I heard Father mumble.

"You're not!" Hijikata-san said, trying to dispel Father's feelings of hopelessness. "He said there's a change of plans. That happens all the time!"

"How should I explain to everyone waiting in the dojo? They were so happy." Father mumbled lifelessly to Hijikata-san.

"I'll explain to them. There's no need for you to worry about this. There will be more chances. Don't be so depressed." Hijikata-san told Father before noticing me with Tamako-chan. "Shizuka?"

"The nomination got canceled, didn't it?" There could have been no other reason Father was acting like this. Hijikata-san nodded while Father refused to look at me and Tamako-chan.

Father and Hijikata-san were greeted with everyone's cheers when they opened the door. Everyone had thought that the nomination had gone through and that Father was now an instructor. I headed towards Tsune-san and handed Tamako-chan over.

"Welcome back, instructor! How did it go? Look! For the main dish we have a whole sea bream tonight! Tsune-san sure is enthusiastic today!" Shinpachi-san spoke first. Tsune-san smiled brightly at Father.

"Of course. You're an instructor now, and deserve the best." Souji said right after Shinpachi-san without a pause.

I snuck a glance at Father's face. Father grew more depressed at Shinpachi-san's and Souji's innocent words. I could only guess what was going through Father's mind right now. He was greeted with such cheer and a feast when he only had bad news.

Saitou-san also noticed Father's depressed look and asked, "Kondou-san, what happened? You look down."

Father couldn't speak. Hijikata-san spoke up in Father's stead. "In short, Kondou-san won't be nominated as an instructor in the Shogunate's military academy."

Everyone immediately quieted down after Hijikata-san broke the news.

"What's the meaning of this? It was him who came to us and brought this up wasn't it?" Sannan-san asked after a moment of silence.

"Why all of a sudden? There must be a reason." Shinpachi-san added.

"We got no answer no matter how much we asked." Hijikata-san explained. "If it's short of budget, we can accept that if he explains."

Father, who was silent the whole time, suddenly spoke with a bitter smile. "Isn't there only one reason? It's because I'm not born in a samurai family. I knew it was inappropriate for a peasant to teach samurai how to wield a sword."

At Father's words, everyone looked at each other uncomfortably. We all already knew that it had to be the reason since Father was notoriously strong.

"What are you talking about? Kondou-san, swordsmanship has nothing to do with social status!" Shinpachi-san tried to cheer Father up.

"Nagakura-kun thinks this way because you're the first son of a samurai family. Most people in this world aren't as open-minded as you are." Father said as he smiled self-deprecatingly. "...I'd prefer to be alone for a while. Everyone go on with the meal without me." Father left the room wearily. Tsune-san followed Father shortly.

An awkward silence filled the room for a few minutes before it was broken by Souji.

"When Kondou-san was told that his nomination was canceled, what was Hijikata-san doing? Don't tell me you merely listened quietly." Souji accused Hijikata-san.

"What's that supposed to mean? What did you expect?" Hijikata-san furrowed his brow at Souji.

"Kondou-san was insulted in front of you, and you sat there and watched? Had I been there, I definitely would have slashed that person!" Souji yelled at the end. Wasn't that a bit extreme?

Souji clenched his fists in regret and stared at Hijikata-san after he said his piece. Hijikata-san wasn't too pleased to be accused by someone that wasn't even there.

"I'm not playing along with your childish talk. The world isn't as simple as you think!" Hijikata-san said with an irritated tone before he left the room. He slammed the door shut behind him.

The awkward silence returned to the room. No one ate anything. The news from before had made everyone lose their appetite.

* * *

><p>Just when I thought our financial situation couldn't possible get worse, it did. Within a few weeks, we had finally lost enough students to have our net profits go into the negatives. It was only a matter of time before the dojo would be forced to close down. One person I thought we would never lose also stopped coming to the dojo. Saito-san, who once came to our dojo religiously suddenly stopped coming a few weeks after Father's nomination caught cancelled. Everyone but Hijikata-san was baffled by Saito-san's disappearance. It was like Saito-san suddenly dropped off of the face of Earth. Everyone was upset at the sudden loss of a friend and took Saito-san's absence hard, but Souji was the one that took the loss the hardest. Not only had Souji lost a friend, but he also lost his sparring partner. Souji acted glum around the house for a few days until I had enough of his gloomy mood. I kicked him out of the house one day to go job searching at the market with Sano-san to end his mood.<p>

I had no idea what caused Saito-san to stop coming to our dojo all the sudden, but I did have my suspicions. The morning that Saito-san disappeared, there was word of a murder that occurred in the middle of the night. The man that had been killed had been cut down in a single stroke. Whoever killed that man had to have been incredibly skilled and fast. Hijikata-san had also had the same suspicion, but we both agreed that Saito-san was a good man. The world was hardly a simple place and whatever Saito-san's reasons were, we were both sure that it was complicated.

* * *

><p>"Hey!" Heisuke yelled loudly as he came barreling into the house. "I have some news!"<p>

"Heisuke, not so loudly," Sano-san scolded Heisuke. "Tamako-chan is sleeping and you'll wake her up with all the ruckus you're making."

Everyone gathered around Heisuke to hear the news that he was yelling about early.

"So what's the news, Heisuke?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"On the bulletin board," Heisuke said as he held up a piece of paper he pulled from the bulletin board. I was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to pull it off.

"Anyone joining would be awarded 50 Ryou, and given an honorable role as the Shogun's guards." Sannan-san read off the piece of paper that he took from Heisuke hands.

"Oi, is this for real?" Shinpachi-san asked skeptically.

Shinpachi-san had every right to be skeptical at the offer. Fifty Ryou was a lot of money. During this time period, a single Ryou was worth about 3000 to 4000 Yen. Another thing bothered me too. This offer was for hiring ronin to protect Shogun Iemochi in Kyoto. Why would they hire mere ronin for this job? This offer was to be too good to be true.

"Is the offer legitimate?" I asked. If the men were going to take up this deal then I want to make sure it was real and not fake. Hijikata-san was the one that answered me.

"It looks like it." Hijikata-san said before pointing to a seal on the page. "See that? That's the Bakufu's official seal. What do you want to do Kondou-san?"

"I don't know." Father replied. "I need some time to think." Father left the room afterwards.

"... I talk to Kondou-san." Hijikata-san said before he left to follow Father.

Father agreed to take the offer in the end. The dojo was going to close down. Father and everyone willing to follow were going to go to Kyoto while Tsune-san and Tamako-chan were to remain behind. I was personally surprised that I was included in the group going to Kyoto. It turns out the only reason I was going was because of Sannan-san.

"Shizuka-chan is the most skilled person I have ever seen when it comes to dealing with injuries. If any of us get injured, then she could treat the injury without much of a problem. It would be cheaper than seeking out a doctor and safer than leaving an injury untreated. It would be a wise move if we brought her along with us to Kyoto." was what Sannan-san said before everyone agreed.

* * *

><p>The night before we all left Kyoto, Tsune-san came to my bedroom to speak to me privately.<p>

"Shizuka-chan, I have some things to give to you before you leave tomorrow." She said to me as we sat down directly across from each other.

Tsune-san lifted a small bundle at her side and passed it to me. I opened the bundle to reveal its contents. Inside was a new set of clothing that consisted of hakama pants and a top. While hakama were usually only worn by men, this outfit was extremely feminine. The hakama pants was a lovely shade of violet with a single line of white sakura flowers embroidered on the left leg. The top was white with patterns of pink embroidery.

"You will have to be able to properly move if you get caught in a fight. A normal woman's kimono will not allow the proper movement that is required in a fight. You will have to wear hakama to fight properly. But never forget that you are a woman. The fashion of the clothing will remind everyone that you are still a woman. A woman's sensibility will be needed in a large group of men." Tsune-san explained before grabbing the next item. "This is the naginata that was in my dowry. You will need a real weapon to use. I will not allow you to go to Kyoto without the proper means to defend yourself."

Tsune-san reached for the last item, it was a box. She opened the box and presented me with a brand new set of operating tools.

"I got these through a friend of my Father's. It will be your job to ensure that everyone lives through each battle. You will need the proper tools to take care of everyone if they get injured" Tsune-san finished.

I was touched that she went through all the trouble for me. I was not her daughter by blood and she had no obligations to treat me well, but she cared for me like I was her daughter. I reached forwards and hugged Tsune-san.

"I promise to take care of everyone. As long as I am still live, I won't let anyone die if I can do something about it." I whispered as we embraced each other.

* * *

><p>There were many men that gathered at the entrance to Edo in the morning. While there were many men of different origins, two men prominently stood out. A well known samurai by the name of Serizawa Kamo was one of the men that stood out. The other man that stood out was Father. I could already see faction forming by the time it was time to leave.<p>

"What's this? What do you think you're doing, bringing your daughter, Kondou-san? You're taking this too lightly. This isn't some fieldtrip!" Serizawa said to belittle Father before he turned to me. "Run home little girl. You don't belong here."

When Serizawa spoke those words, everyone from Shieikan prepared to rise to Father's and my defense. I stepped forward to stop them before turning to Serizawa.

"Shouldn't you be saying that to yourself?" I asked confidently.

"What!?" Serizawa was furious. How dare a lowly woman speak to him this way!

"I looked at all the men you have with you and none of them are medics. We are going to Kyoto where all the lawless ronin are gathering and there will be people getting hurt, but you do not have a single medic. You're the one treating Kyoto like a fieldtrip. I'm not here as Kondou-san's daughter, but as a surgeon. You will not treat me like a little girl or as the daughter of Kondou-san. I am a surgeon and I will be treated as such."

When I had finished speaking, Serizawa's furious expression morphed into one of amusement.

"Hahaha! Well said woman! But heed my warning well, I will be watching you. The moment you make a mistake is the moment I will dispose of you." Serizawa warned.

"Duly noted," I said plainly as I held his gaze.

Everyone from Shieikan watched our little standoff. From that moment on, I was no longer that girl that every coddled. I was a fully grown woman that did not need to be babied.

We all left Edo for Kyoto on February 8, 1863.

* * *

><p>I need to take a quick break to re-watch Hakuoki Reimeiroku.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"She will not be simple and sweet. She will not be what people tell her she should be."  
>― E. Lockhart, The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks<p>

It had been six hours since we left Edo and the group, now dubbed the Roshigumi, was finally slowing down for a break. The journey from Edo to Kyoto was estimated to take about one week at walking speed if we all traveled for about 12 hours a day. I looked at the two factions that had formed in that short amount of time. Serizawa's group consisted of people who admired his status as a samurai. Those people both feared him and were in awe of him. Father's group, on the other hand, seemed to possess a closer knit connection. While Father lacked the high social standing that Serizawa did, Father had the better personality. He possessed charisma that drew people to him and he treated everyone kindly. People connected to Father on a deeper and more personal level because of how thoughtful he was around others. An unspoken agreement formed among all the men that both Serizawa and Father were the leaders. A hand landed on my head gently and shook me out of my thoughts.

"You okay there, Shizuka? You're not too tired to continue, right?" Sano-san asked as he ruffled my hair. He must have noticed that I slowed down a bit.

"No, I fine. It's only been six hours. I was only lost in thought." I said, pushing Sano-san's hand off of my head. I didn't want to have to fix my hair again.

"She's fine." Shinpachi-san appeared behind Sano-san. "She's tougher than that. You do remember what she said to Serizawa-san before we left, right?" Shinpachi-san asked Sano-san before he turned to me. "But, damn. That was really ballsy of you, talking back to him like that." He seemed very impressed with my earlier performance.

"Not really. I only spoke the truth. Gender is irreverent to my skill set." I told the two men.

To say that I didn't belong because of my gender was terribly insulting. People should be judged based on their merit and not their gender or appearance. And as stuck up as the thought may seem, I was probably the best surgeon in all of Japan at the current moment. It didn't matter that I was a woman in a man's world. If I'm skilled in my job, then I'm skilled in my job. Gender shouldn't matter.

"What are you guys still doing back there?" Heisuke called to us from the front. "We should eat lunch while we're on a break! Come and get some rice balls!"

"We're coming! You better not have eaten all the rice balls!" Shinpachi-san called back before he and Sano-san walked towards the front, leaving me by myself.

I didn't feel quite hungry yet. Unlike the others, I packed well for the trip and had been snacking on some fruit while we were walking earlier. I could skip lunch right now without feeling low on energy later. I wasn't alone for long before Souji appeared behind to me.

"Shizuka," Souji called playfully from behind. Before I had a chance to turn around and face him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on the top of my head. "Watcha doing standing here by yourself?"

Ever since Souji recovered from the measles, he had been extra touchy-feely. Whenever I was around, he would make the extra effort to grab me and drag me around. Well, whatever makes him happy…

Another little side effect that came along with the grabbing was his obsessive need to place his face on my chest. While he was sick, I had let him rest his head against my chest, just like how a mother would comfort her sick child. But now that he was better, he refused to stop. Souji especially like to rub his face into my chest in front of Shinpachi-san, which always resulted in Shinpachi-san complaining: "It's not fair! How come Souji gets to do that?!" Souji would always just respond with a catlike grin before continuing. I guess I should be thankful that he doesn't do it in public or in front of Father? Although, his behavior was probably all my fault to begin with. I should have stopped him when he began to stick his face on my chest, but I didn't. Ever since we were both children, I would always indulge him in whatever he wanted. I just couldn't bring myself to say no to Souji. Now that I think about it, I probably would have made a terrible mother.

"I was going to go find a place to sit down." I told Souji. "Did you eat yet?"

"I already ate." he answered before he released his grip on my waist and removed his chin. I turned around to face him. "Let's go sit by Kondou-san." He said before grabbed my hand and led me over to the others.

Father was practically vibrating in his seat. While he was originally hesitant about the trip, Father now couldn't hide his excitement. His excitement was contagious and everyone surrounding him was in high spirits.

"Everybody eat up!" Father exclaimed with loud cheer. "We need to be at full strength when we arrive at Kyoto!"

Everyone agreed cheerfully and then vigorously tore into their food.

* * *

><p>After traveling for two whole days, the Roshigumi was now approaching the post town of Honjou-shuku.<p>

"We're close to Honjou-shuku. Somebody run over to the inn and make reservations for all of us." Serizawa ordered.

"I'll go." Father said. He seemed eager please everyone. Father ran ahead of the group to the town's inn after volunteering himself. The rest of us continued towards the town at our casual speed.

"Finally, a real bed to sleep in," Heisuke said while crossed his arms behind his head. "My back still hurts from sleeping on the ground yesterday night."

"Heisuke, real men don't complain about sleeping on the ground." Shinpachi-san slapped Heisuke across the back and knocked him off balance.

"Hey!" Heisuke got ready to defend his statement, but I cut in.

"Just because he's complaining about sleeping on the ground doesn't mean he's not a real man." I defended Heisuke. He looked at me happily before I continued. "It just means he's an old man who complains about his terrible back." I finished with a mischievous smile. Everyone laughed as Heisuke hung his head in defeat.

"Aww, cheer up Heisuke," Sano-san said to Heisuke while laughing. "At least she said you were a real man."

"Let's walk faster. I can see the inn now and Kondou-san's waiting for us." Hijikata-san pointed at the fast approaching inn after we had all finished making fun of Heisuke. Heisuke was still pouting by the time we had all reached the inn. Father was waiting for our arrival in front of the inn.

"Good, now tell me which room is mine." Serizawa demanded impatiently.

Father froze at Serizawa's demand. Don't tell me that Father forgot to reserve a private room for Serizawa. Serizawa was not a man that anyone wanted to anger.

"Ah… I may have forgotten to request a private room for Serizawa-dono." Father admitted his mistake quietly.

"What?!" Serizawa yelled, outraged at the honest mistake.

"It's only for one night. Surely Serizawa-san can share a room with someone tonight." Sannan-san tried to reason.

"Me, share?! Do you know who I am?!" Serizawa yelled back.

Serizawa stomped off and some of his men ran after him. Father looked a bit upset about his mistake. I walked over to Father and laid a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry about it, Father. You just made an honest mistake that anyone could have made. Just give Serizawa some time to calm down." I tried to cheer Father up.

"Shizuka's right. There's no need to be so upset." Hijikata-san agreed with me. "Why don't we all go in and get some rest."

Father smiled at our attempt and ushered all the remaining men inside.

* * *

><p>I placed all my belongings down in my room in the inn. As the only woman in the large group of 250 men, I was given a private room. Just as I was about to change into a sleeping robe that the inn provided, screams broke out from outside the inn. I could smell large amounts of smoke coming in from outside. I grabbed my naginata and ran outside my room. All the others had the same idea. All our eyes met when we exited our respective room before we headed outside the inn together.<p>

The moment we all exited the inn, we were greeted with a massive fire. A nearby building was engulfed in flames. At the base of the building stood Serizawa holding a torch, he was the one that set the building aflame.

"Serizawa-dono, what are you doing?!" Father yelled in disbelief. No one thought that Serizawa would go this far over a room.

"I understand that I don't have a room to stay. Since it's early Spring and still cold outside, surely starting a bonfire is justified." Serizawa said like his horrid act was perfectly normal.

This man was a **complete** and **utter** bastard. Even if he was angry at Father, setting fire to someone else's building, someone who was completely unrelated to the inn incident, was completely uncalled for. If he wanted retribution, the very least he could have done was aim for Father instead of some innocent bystander. This man, no this child, had a horrible character and personality. No real man would have taken this course of action. He was a mere child who threw a terrible temper tantrum when he did not receive what he wanted. He set fire to the building because he believed that he had been disrespected. But because of what he had done, he will never receive the respect that he craved so much. I would never give him my respect.

After Serizawa finished speaking, everyone else behind Father turned pale. Souji then reached for his sword, only to be stopped by Hijikata-san, who had also reached for his sword. If Hijikata-san had not stopped Souji, then I have no doubt the situation would have ended with someone dead. Hijikata-san glared at Serizawa with open hostility. Ever since I had met Hijikata-san, I have never seen him show so much raw emotion. If his glare was sharp enough to kill, then Serizawa would have been completely decapitated.

"STOP IT! TOSHI! SOUJI" Father yelled out with absolute authority.

Father's voice was nothing like it was before. There was nothing gentle left in his voice and he sounded like a commander in the Sengoku Period. Both Hijikata-san and Souji froze in place. Both were startled at Father's tone. The power in Father's tone seemed to carry the message that if either of them moved to slash at Serizawa, then Father would slash back at them.

"Serizawa-dono's anger isn't unreasonable. I am to blame." Father said to Serizawa before he got on both his hands and knees and did a dogesa. "Serizawa-dono, I take full responsibility of this mistake. I sincerely beg your pardon." Father apologized.

As wise as it was to apologize to try to fix the situation, the damage couldn't be undone. An apology wouldn't put out the fire. An apology wouldn't give back what the innocent bystander lost. I turned around and yelled to all the men with as much authority I could muster.

"What are you all doing?! Go grab some buckets to put out this fire! All the surrounding buildings are flammable and we need to get this fire under control before it spreads!"

As soon as I finished yelling, all the men leapt into action. I turned to Serizawa with an icy expression.

"My room at the inn is a private room. If I give you my room, will you be satisfied then?" My voice was cold as I spoke.

"Heh, just like a good daughter to make up for your Father's mistake." Serizawa was pleased when I sacrificed my room for him.

"Making up for Father's mistake? No, you're mistaken. Someone has to placate the child throwing the temper tantrum." I said snidely.

"What did you say?!" Serizawa's temper returned with a vengeance.

"You heard what I said. Or is it that you're brain isn't developed enough to understand my words." I said, fuelling Serizawa's rage.

"Shizuka!" Father reprimanded at me. "Stop it!" Father then turned to Serizawa and began to apologize. "Please forgive my daughter for her—"

"No," I interrupted Father. "I am not here as your daughter. You don't get to apologize for what I say. I meant every word."

"You bitch!" Serizawa yelled in rage as he went to beat me with his iron fan. I raised my naginata to block his strike.

"You **dare** raise your weapon against me?! I am a samurai and you are a lowly peasant woman! I have **every **right to cut you down where you stand! I already told you that the moment you mess up is the moment I dispose of you."

"Try me." I dared him icily.

Serizawa may have been stronger than I was, but there was more than one way to win a fight. He **will** regret ever making an enemy out of me. I pushed his iron fan off of my weapon and turned to return to the inn. I needed to remove my belongings from my previous room.

"Souji, I'm sleeping in your room tonight." I called over my shoulder calmly.

The people who weren't busy putting out the fire watched my back as I retreated back inside.

* * *

><p>"What were you thinking?!" Souji yelled at me the moment I arrived at his room with my belongings. "You know that he's stronger than you! You know he won't hesitate to cut you down!"<p>

Souji grabbed my shoulders as soon as I placed everything on the floor and closed the door.

"Why would you purposely anger him?!" He looked at me in the eye, hoping to find the answer somewhere hidden in my eyes.

"Because I refuse to let his actions go unpunished." I responded seriously. "Innocent people lost all of their property tonight because of Serizawa's inability to cope with mistakes. I don't need to be stronger than him to win. I already told you once when we were both children. There is more than one way to win a fight. And if I lose this fight, Serizawa will not be left unscathed. If I lose, I will take him down with me."

Emotions flooded into Souji's eyes when I spoke. His shoulders sagged and he pulled me into a tight hug. I will not let Serizawa hurt innocent people as he pleased. I will not let him hurt the ones I cared for. I will do whatever it takes to protect my loved ones. Serizawa will need to be removed in the future.

* * *

><p>The previous cheer that everyone from Shieikan had the previous two days had all but evaporated at the events of last night. Father and everyone from Shieikan else spent the rest of the journey surrounding me in fear that Serizawa would be true to his word and cut me down. Their worry was unfounded. I knew Serizawa wouldn't cut me down while surrounded by so many others. I was someone that was not so easily killed and if Serizawa did manage to kill me, then he would have an angry mob on his hands and he knew it. If he killed me then there would be retribution that would end with his death.<p>

When we were a few hours a way from Kyoto, Serizawa wandered off while the group was on their break. When he returned to the group, he had a beaten young man draped over his shoulder. One of Serizawa's men, Niimi, ran to Serizawa's side.

"Serizawa-sensei, where have you been?" Niimi asked Serizawa.

"I had an unexpected surprise, that's all." Serizawa answered.

"Surprise?" Niimi asked before Serizawa dumped the injured young man on Niimi's back.

"Whoa! Master, who is this?" Another man named Hirama asked."

Sannan-san who had been watching the whole exchange cut into the conversation with a frown. "Wait. If you wish to add a traveling companion, wouldn't it be appropriate to have a word with us?"

"He's merely a dirty stray dog, not a companion. There's no need to consult over such a trivial matter." Serizawa countered.

"However…" Sannan-san started before Father joined the conversation.

"Oh well. It's alright, Sannan-kun. If we leave the young man like this, he'd starve to death anytime. Since we're summoned to protect the Emperor, we shouldn't abandon on of His Majesty's people to his fate." Father reasoned. "Toshi, don't you think so?"

Hijikata-san looked at Serizawa with murderous intent before he answered Father. "It's all the same to me. Whatever we say, he won't listen to us anyway."

Sannan-san straightened his glasses while looking dissatisfied. "…Well if Kondou-san and Hijikata-kun both say so, then it can't be helped."

"Kyoto isn't far ahead. Let's pick up the pace." Father said to everyone as soon as the discussion was over. All the men behind Father agreed before walking faster.

We walked for a few minute before Hijikata-san slowed down to my pace.

"When we arrive at Kyoto, stay next to one us." Hijikata-san said quietly to me as he walked next to me. "Don't give Serizawa-san a chance to catch you alone."

"I know." I answered. "But I'm not so fragile that Serizawa can dispose me so easily even if I was alone."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The situation the Roshigumi was in was not good. While the Roshigumi was officially created by the Bakufu officials to protect Lord Iemochi during his visit to Kyoto, Kiyokawa Hachiro, the man in charge of recruiting the ronin for the Roshigumi, had other plans in mind. He harbored anti-Tokugawa sentiments and was a fervent supporter of the principles of sonno joi, which meant revere the emperor and expel the barbarians. When the Roshigumi arrived in Kyoto, Kiyokawa had planned on having the Roshigumi abandon the original mission of protecting the Shogun and planned to use the group as an instrument of sonno joi. When the rest of the Bakufu officials caught wind of this plan, the Roshigumi was ordered to return to Edo to partake in military preparations for expelling the foreigners in attempt to dispose of an explosive situation that was now brewing.

Father and all of us from Shieikan, along with Serizawa and his group of men had refused to return to Edo. We had all traveled down to Kyoto in hopes of earning enough money to make a living and to make a name for ourselves. Because we refused to leave, we were now stuck petitioning to the daimyo of clan Aizu to complete the original mission of protecting the Shogun. Our group, which once consisted of 250 men, now only consisted of 13 people, if I included myself. If we wanted to continue the original mission, then we would have to find some way to recruit more people. What remained of the Roshigumi was now in limbo. We had no way of knowing if the Roshigumi even had a future.

On the bright side, while we were waiting to see if clan Aizu would sponsor us, we had found a place to use as headquarters. A man by the name of Yagi Gennojo was generous enough to house our small group on his estate in Mibu village. Another nearby estate that we were also allowed to use was the Maekawa house; although the residents of that estate weren't too fond of ronin. The residents of the Maekawa house took their belongings and fled after the first few days.

"Hey, Shizuka-chan, will this guy be alright?" Heisuke asked from behind as I changed the bandages on the young man that Serizawa picked up.

Despite being the one to pick up the young man, Serizawa immediately dumped the young man on Father once we arrived at Kyoto. Since Father was an overly nice person to begin with, he went ahead and accepted the task of caring for the injured young man, which meant the task fell to me because the young man was injured. As much as I would have loved to refuse the task just to spite Serizawa, the only one that would suffer from that act would be the young man. The poor guy already suffered enough from his injuries and shouldn't have to suffer more because grudge I held against Serizawa.

"He's fine. All he has is a few abrasions and cuts, nothing too serious. He was probably punched and kicked around for a bit before he was mobbed." I answered just as I finished up bandaging a cut.

"Nothing too serious? But he looks so beat up." Heisuke looked at me with disbelief. "He hasn't even woken up yet and it's been three days."

"Just because he's blue, black, and purple all over doesn't mean he's going to die. He doesn't even have a single fractured bone or ruptured organ. The reason he hasn't woken up yet is because he probably hasn't eaten anything in awhile." I gestured to the injured young man, who by the way, happened to have blue hair. _Just how does someone end up with blue hair? I'm pretty sure he didn't dye it. Maybe it's a genetic mutation?_

"Heisuke, I'm going to dispose of the all the used bandages now. Keep an eye on him just in case he wakes up. When he wakes up, he's going to be in a lot of pain." I directed Heisuke as I stood up with the used bandages and the pail of water that was used to clean the wounds.

"Huh? You mean you didn't give him any painkillers?"

"Nope, I was feeling cheap."

"Wah?!" Heisuke exclaimed as I left the room. "Isn't that a bit mean?!" he yelled after me from the room.

It wasn't like we had the money to purchase what I needed to make an effective painkiller in the first place. We were dead broke and even if clan Aizu did decide to sponsor us, we would have to find some way to make some money. An organization like the Roshigumi can't operate without any funding. Even if Aizu's daimyo did allow us to stay in Kyoto, I doubt he would give much money to fund a bunch of unknown ronin.

I walked to the far end of the yard on the Yagi estate and dumped the water out on the ground before placing the used bandages in the disposal area. Someone will take care of the trash later.

"There you are, Shizu-chan." Father's voice called from behind. I turned to see Father with Hijikata-san and Sannan-san on the porch of the house. It looks like they have just finished their meeting. "So how's the young man?" Father questioned.

"He's fine. He had a good chance of surviving even if we didn't pick him up." I said while putting one hand on my hip.

"I see…" Father said as he thought about what I said.

"So we could have just left him there like Sannan-san said." Hijikata-san said as an afterthought.

"Now, now, Toshi, Sannan-kun, we shouldn't leave a civilian when we can help him, right?" Father replied to Hijikata-san's statement.

"Well, if Kondou-san says so…" Sannan-san said before he began to head back into the house. Father and Hijikata-san moved to follow.

"Wait," I called out to Father before he entered the house. "Do you know where Souji is? He's been moody lately."

Hijikata-san answered me before Father could speak. "He's by the well. Don't you think you spoil him too much? He's only moody because you've been ignoring him in order to take care of the injured guy."

Well I guess that was true. I nodded to thank Hijikata-san before running off to find Souji. Maybe if could spend some time with him, he'll cheer up a bit.

Souji was leaning on the well when I saw him, just like Hijikata-san said. He wore an annoyed expression on his face as he stared off into space.

"Souji," I called as I waved over to him from where I was standing. His face brightened up when he saw me and he jogged over to where I was standing.

"Finished?" He asked.

"For today." His face darkened at my answer. "Why are you so irritated anyways? I get that you like to spend time with me, but I've only been taking care of his wounds for three days now."

"Three days is long enough." Souji answered with a peeved pout. He's always been possessive when we were younger, but it has gotten worse lately.

"Come on. Let's go find Sano-san and Shinpachi-san. I have Heisuke watching over the injured guy right now, so I have time to train." I said while tugging on his arm.

"Both Sano-san and Shinpatchi-san are at the Mibu temple right now." He said as he guided me to the temple.

Hands ruffled my hair as I walked back to the Yagi house with Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and Souji after training.

"Looks like our little Shizuka-chan can now hold her own now in a fight." Shinpachi-san said with a grin.

"Of course she can, just take a look at who's been training her." Souji stated with pride. These guys were talented in many skills, flattering above all.

Sano-san caught a glimpse of the look on my faces and grinned. "Looks like she doesn't believe you guys. She thinks we're just flattering her. To bad Saito isn't here. She'd believe him if he was the one tell her these things."

"Of course I would. Saito-san is the only one who wouldn't waste his time saying pointless things." I snorted. I loved these pointless conversations with the guys, not that I would ever tell them.

When the Yagi house came into view, Heisuke was in the front waiting for us. He called us all over as soon as he saw us.

"Hey!" Heisuke yelled when we came into sight. "That injured guy woke up a few hours ago. He ate the porridge Gen-san brought him before he fell asleep again."

So the guy woke up already? I honestly thought he would be unconscious a bit longer. While his injuries weren't severe, he was pretty weak from the lack of food. He'll have to eat a lot to have the energy to recover quickly.

"Could he sit up by himself?" I asked Heisuke.

"No, he needed some help." Heisuke answered.

"Well that's to be expected since he's not on any painkillers. I should be able to give him a sponge bath tomorrow to clean him up." I said before Souji looped one arm around my waist.

"Heisuke can wipe him down tomorrow. You don't need to do anything." Souji said looking annoyed again.

"Eh?! Why me?!" Heisuke cried as Souji ignored him.

"I think I should still be the one to do it." I said. "Men giving other men baths just seems a bit too weird in my mind."

"Gah! Why would you word it like that?!" Shinpachi-san yelped with a disgusted expression. Sano-san just sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

"So you're saying you should be the one to wipe him down because you're a woman?" Souji asked with an unimpressed expression.

"I'm just saying that it would seem less strange." I explained.

"Any man would enjoy it if it was a woman giving him a bath. He isn't here for pleasure." Souji countered back.

"He's in too much pain to feel any pleasure. Pleasure should be the last thing on his mind." I argued back.

Souji's eyebrow twitched. "You're going to be too busy tomorrow to give him a bath, so Heisuke will take care of it."

"Too busy with what?"

"Too busy helping me with something."

"Define this something."

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Now should you be cooking dinner right about now?" Souji said, ending our little debate before escorting me to the kitchen. "Let's go. I'll help you with dinner tonight."

"But you make everything too salty." I said as I allowed Souji to change the suject and to drag me off.

It turned out that Souji not only didn't allow me to go back and care for the wounded guy the next day, but for the rest of two weeks. Poor Heisuke was stuck taking care of the injured guy for the whole time. I wondered if Heisuke ever got his name.

"I wonder if that guy's okay now." I pondered out loud. It has been two weeks after all.

Souji who was sitting nearby where I was sweeping the floor gave me a displeased look. "You shouldn't waste you time worrying about him, Shizuka."

"Hey, Souji?" I stopped sweeping the floor and looked at him.

"Hm?"

"Why have you become so possessive lately? You were always possessive before, but now..."

In fact, he barely lets me out of his sight now when he isn't busy with something. Sure, Serizawa did threaten me but wasn't Souji going a little bit overboard? It's not like I couldn't defend myself.

"I have no idea what you're taking about." He denied before changing the subject. "By the way, I know you've declared war on Serizawa-san, but it surprising you haven't done anything yet. You usually act quickly in these situations."

What Souji did say was true, but this situation was different from all the others. The remenents of the Roshigumi were now trying to get clan Aizu to sponsor them. As much as I despised Serizawa, he was the only one who had connections that could get the Roshigumi out of the bad situation.

"This situation is a bit different from all the previous ones." I explained to him. "Serizawa is currently the only one that has a chance of getting clan Aizu to sponsor us right now. If we don't get a clan to sponsor us right now then we'll have to leave Kyoto."

Souji nodded, accepting my reasoning before I continued. "So right now, it would be a bad idea to agitate him. But after he's done his job, then his purpose is over and everything is fair game."

"So you're just using him. Well, let me know when you're about to begin. I wouldn't want you to have all the fun." Souji said with a predator-like grin.

We fell into a comfortable silence for about half an hour before Souji got up from his sitting position.

"Stay here Shizuka." He said before walking towards the well.

At the well, the blue-haired man was washing his face. He certainly looked a lot better than before, but why was Souji walking towards him? _I have a bad feeling about this._

As the blue-haired man was washing his face, Souji walked over and shove the him away from the well. The unfortunate guy landed on his back and yelled back from the ground after regaining his senses.

"Who the heck are you? And what's that for?" The guy stood up again and was glaring at Souji.

"Who am I? That's some way to say hello. Don't you know it's proper manners to introduce yourself before asking someone else's name?" Souji answered back in a condescending tone as he leaned back to sit on the rim of the well.

"What are you talking about? You're the one who shoved me from behind!" The guy raised his voice.

"It's your fault for standiing in the way. This well is not yours alone."

"Isn't it obvious I'm washing my face? Can't you wait for a moment?"

This wasn't going to end well if I someone didn't stop Souji. I think Souji was only bullying the poor guy because he was pissed at the blue-haired man for taking up the my time. As I began to head over to where Souji was to stop him, Sannan-san appeared behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Let me handle this. Okita-kun will lash out more if Shizuka-chan is the one that stops him." Sannan-san said before he went over to stop Souji from drawing his blade.

"Okita-kun, why don't you let it drop?" Sannan-san said as he approached the two me. "Hijikata-san will yell up a storm if you two get too rowdy."

"Rowdy? What a thing to say, Sannan-san." Souji said as he stood up again. "He's the one that started it."

The blue-haired guy didn't look all too happy at the accusation.

"And you're the one that set him up." Sannan-san retorted before turning to face the other young man. "You're the one that Serizawa rescued, are you not? Have you recovered from your injuries?"

"Yeah... Where is that Serizawa guy right now?" the blue-haired guy answered Sannan-san before asking a question.

"He is currently out right now. I believe he will be back later tonight."

"So he's currently out, huh?"

"What do you need with Serizawa-san."

"I was told to thank him before I left."

Souji then cut into Sannan-san's and the blue-haired guy's conversation. "You're leaving? Good! I was worried that you'd stick around and be a nuisance. But if you're going to thank your benefactors, then shouldn't you thank Kondou-san?"

"Kondou-san?" the young man asked.

"He's the highest-ranking person in the Roshigumi." Souji explained.

"I can show him to Kondou-san." Sannan-san offered. "Okita-kun, please go do some sword pratice. You haven't been practicing seriously since we came here. Your senses will go blunt."

"Can't be. It's only been half a month." Souji replied to Sannan-san

"Just go. It's not a request, but an order." Sannan-san said sternnly.

"Oh well. I suppose it'll be alright if Sannan-san watches over him. However, if anything happens to Kondou-san, even if it's Sannan-san, I won't forgive you. Please remember that." Souji told Sannan-san before returning to where I was. "Come on, Shizuka." He said as he placed a hand on my back before gently pushing. "Let's go. The floor is clean enough here."

"Who's that?" I heard the young man ask Sannan-san as both Souji and I walked away.

"That is Shizuka, Kondou-san's daughter. She is probably the reason Okita-kun was picking on you earlier."

"Hah?" the young man exclaimed before following Sannan-san.

As soon as Souji and I got far enough not to be seen by anyone, I cuffed him in the back of his head with the broom I was still holding.

"Ow! What was that for?!" Souji complained, rubbing where I hit him.

"You know what for. You can go train by yourself. I'm going to find Heisuke get information on our guest." I said. Souji just pouted at my answer.

Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, and Sano-san were with me in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. The three men came into the kitchen looking for sake a few minutes earlier. I couldn't find any of them earlier during the day, so I was now asking for information regarding our guest.

"So his name is Ibuki Ryunosuke," I said, digesting the information that Heisuke gave me while I checked on the miso soup. It was pretty much done like the rest of dinner. "So did he tell you anything else besides his name?" I asked.

"Nope, but he was pretty rude until Sano bashed him on the head." Shinpachi-san answered instead.

"There's nothing a good blow to the head won't fix." Sano-san added. I guess I can sort of agree?

"You bastard!" We all turned our heads towards the direction of that loud yell. "Do you realize whom you're speaking to?!" That sounded like Serizawa. Just who is he yelling at this time? "How dare you take that tone with me?!"

We all looked at each other before heading to the scene. When we got there, we saw Serizawa move to hit Hijikata-san on the head with the iron fan. The fan stopped when it was a few centimeters away from inflicting damage. I looked around, it looked like everyone had the same idea to rush to the scene when they heard the yelling, even the blue-haired guy from before was here.

"Why didn't you dodge?" Serizawa asked Hijikata-san. "Did you assume that I was going to stop?"

Hijikata-san glared back with a frightening look. " I wasn't going to dodge regardless of whether you stopped or not. I didn't say anything wrong."

Serizawa withdrew his fan and walked past Hijikata-san before stopping. "It would hardly inconvenience us if we were to stop working together. If you don't like my methods, you're free to return to Edo whenever you like."

As soon as Serizawa finished, he continued on his way. Serizawa's men, who were with him, ran after him as soon as he left.

"Are you alright, Hijikata-kun?" Sannan-san asked after a moment of silence.

"Sannan-san?" Hijikata-san turned and saw all of us standing there. "What? Everyone's here?"

Father answered in everyone's stead. "We heard Serizawa's voice and thought there was trouble again."

"Whether there's trouble or not," Hijikata-san said while walking towards us, "that man will clash with others simply by being alive."

"Although I am sure that is true, you must improve at shrugging off his antics." Sannan-san said to Hijikata-san. "Just look at Shizuka-chan. She ignores most of what Serizawa-san does now, unlike before." _I wouldn't say that, Sannan-san. I am just merely waiting for the right moment to strike._

"He'll have to die and be reborn at least once for that to happen." Everyone laughed at Hijikata-san's statement before he looked at me and continued speaking. "And I wouldn't say Shizuka's gotten better at shrugging off Serizawa. It's more like she's waiting to the right moment to attack him." So he knew all along.

"Seriously?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in the back.

"Hijikata-san knows me so well." I said. "But you know, Serizawa can die a billion times and still be the same. People don't change that easily." Trust me, I would know.

Hijikata-san let out a sigh before he focused his gaze on Ibuki. "Who are you?" Hijikata-san asked. You aren't a guest of Yagi-san's, are you?"

Hijikata-san didn't recognize Ibuki as the guy that was picked up on the way to Kyoto. He never took the time to get a proper look at Ibuki to begin with.

"I'm…" Ibuki began before Father spoke up.

"It's the guy that collapsed on his way here. He said he wanted to thank Serizawa-san and has been waiting for his return."

"Makes sense." Hijikata-san looked away.

Shinpachi-san and Heisuke, who were both standing in front of Ibuki turned around to face him.

"Hey, Ryunosuke. Looks like Serizawa-san's had a lot to drink. Wouldn't it be best if you waited until tomorrow to thank him?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"Yep, yep!" Heisuke agreed. "Serizawa-san can't hold his alcohol worth squat."

"But…" Ibuki began before Father spoke up again.

"Okay, for now let's go back inside and have dinner."

"Sounds good." Souji said before everyone started to head inside. Sano-san grabbed Ibuki and pushed him in the house.

The next day I found out from Sano-san that Ibuki was going to stay with us longer. Apparently, Serizawa had decided to keep Ibuki around as his "dog" to pay off a life debt. Ibuki's life was going to suck for a long time.

* * *

><p>And the professor said, "Let there be tests"<p>

And a great cacophony of students crying and groaning filled the lecture hall

And the professor saw that it was good.

...Yeah... No one likes tests. Updates will be nonexistent to very slow in the next couple of weeks with midterms coming up.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"That was one of the saddest things about people—their most important thoughts and feelings often went unspoken and barely understood."  
>― Alexandra Adornetto, <span>Halo<span>

"Oh? Where are you going so early in the morning, Shizuka-san?" a woman's voice spoke as I prepared to sneak out of headquarter early in the morning. I had my naginata strapped to my back and my new surgical kit in my arms.

"I'm heading out to gather some information before anyone else wakes up." I told the owner of the voice. The woman's name was Yagi Masa, the wife of Yagi-san.

"Are you sure you want to go out by yourself? Kyoto is rather dangerous nowadays." Masa-san voiced her concern.

"I'll be fine. Thank you for your concern Masa-san, but I know how to avoid trouble." I reassured her before I left for the city.

Since Kyoto's streets were filled with ronin, none of the guys would let me leave unless I had an escort. I understood that it was dangerous times and that if possible, one should never leave without a partner, but I felt like I had to do this alone. The night before, I had come up with a plan to remove Serizawa from the head of the Roshigumi and if he found out about such a plan then he would aim for the one responsible. Serizawa hated me enough already so it would be no real loss if he attacked me, but I refused to let any of the others get caught in the crossfire. If Serizawa would to try to dispose of anyone, then it should be me alone.

Last night when I was developing a plan to remove Serizawa, I had to analyze the situation. Just what was it that made Serizawa beneficial to Roshigumi and what made him detrimental? Father and Hijikata-san could not dispose of Serizawa because of the connections he held with clan Aizu. Serizawa was the only one currently able to get clan Aizu to sponsor the Roshigumi. But if Aizu did decide to sponsor the Roshigumi, then what else made Serizawa vital to the Roshigumi? The answer would be his ability to raise money for the organization. Everyone from Shieikan had no status or connections they could rely upon to raise money and would have to continue to rely on Serizawa. But what if we could match Serizawa's ability to raise money? With Serizawa's personality type, the way he would most likely go about raising money is through threats and force. If I could find a way to out compete Serizawa using nonviolent methods then everyone would rely on my methods rather than Serizawa's. Serizawa would be rendered useless, but that in itself would not be enough to dispose of him. The second part of my plan would be the easiest part. Because of the way Serizawa always behaved, he was a pubic nuisance. He was violent, always caused pubic disturbances, and in general, was always stirring up some kind of trouble. Instead of doing trying to prevent him on going on his frequent rampages or do damage control on the problems he makes, Serizawa should be let loose. If Serizawa was rendered useless and was a complete troublemaker, then it shouldn't take too much effort to remove him then. That type of combination of traits would fatal to anyone and even high social standing would do little to protect him. A useless troublemaker in the end would just be a useless troublemaker, regardless of status. Keeping Serizawa around at that point would just be detrimental to the Roshigumi and it would make it easy to remove him.

While this did seem like a good plan to me, the plan was not completely foolproof. The second part of the plan was the Achilles Heel of the plan. There was also a good chance that Serizawa would not cause enough problems by himself. His reputation and status was fairly strong and there could be a chance that Serizawa would not cause himself enough damage to warrant removal. If that's the case, then I would need to find some outside source to make his reputation tank enough to affect his reputation among the people. If enough people in Kyoto talked about how detrimental and damaging Serizawa was then the officials that were somehow linked to Serizawa would order his removal in order to save face.

Hmm… then again, maybe I should just go with the easier plan of poisoning him? No, I might be able to remove Serizawa that way, but I would probably doom myself too when they figured out who poisoned him. I was going to remove Serizawa without actually raising my hand to him. If my plan worked then his disposal would be my fault but at the same time no one would be able to punish me for doing anything wrong since I would've technically done nothing directly to Serizawa.

So, just how would I raise money for the Roshigumi if I didn't have the same connections or status to rely on like Serizawa did? I would raise money by using the skills I brought over to this life from my previous life. I was a highly trained surgeon, a doctor by trade. Kyoto was a large city and all large cities have their population of the sick and the injured. I could raise money through performing surgeries and treating the ill. Now that I had the appropriate tools to conduct surgeries, thanks to Tsune-san, I could sell my skills to the public to bring in cash. Medical treatment, like in the future, was expensive and I was sure I could earn the money needed for the Roshigumi to function properly. With most of the money going to the Roshigumi's funds, some of the other revenue brought in would also be used to expand the amount of medical equipment I had access to. The more medical equipment I had access to, then the more possible it would become for me to start doing more complex surgeries, which, in turn, would bring in more revenue. What I had to do now was look for the people with money in Kyoto that had the some sort of injury I could fix. If I had to aim for certain people in the population, then the owner of a bank would be the prime target. My hunting ground would be the business sector of Kyoto's main streets.

The morning was still young, so most people were just getting prepared for the day. The streets were still fairly empty. It might have been more optimal to start my search later in the day, but if I left headquarter any later than I originally did, then I would have had one of the guys shadowing my every move. I would most likely have to spend all morning and part of the afternoon watching for any potential targets. I hope the guys won't be mad that I'm not there to cook breakfast and lunch. Well, I'm sure they could survive two meals without me.

Hours passed as I watched for any potential targets and it was in the hour of the serpent that I found one. A young boy, probably around the age of eight, was slowly running behind the other children playing in the streets. He ran with a curious limp that most likely was the result of a broken tibia that never healed properly. The injury wasn't a life threatening injury, but it was serious enough in this era. An injury that impeded normal movement of the body would seriously limit what the boy could do in the future and cut down on any possible jobs he could do as an adult. This should be enough for the boy's parents to worry about his future and look for treatment options.

"Takumi!" the boy's mother called as she ran out of a near by shop. "How many times do I have to tell you not to run on that leg? You might make the injury worse."

"But I want to play with the other kids, Mom! Why don't you ever let me have any fun?" the boy complained to his mother after she had caught up to him and stopped him from running.

"You know you can't afford to have that leg get any worse than it already is."

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to be a merchant like Dad is in the future, so why does it matter how well I can walk?"

"With the way inflation is occurring right now, the future is uncertain. There is no guarantee that you will be able to become a merchant like your Father."

Excellent, so the boy's family was a family of merchants. They also look rather well off too, if their clothing was anything to go by. While the target was not related to anyone that owned a bank, it was a good enough start. Deciding this was the opportunity I was waiting for, I made my move.

"Umm, excuse me?" I asked gently, playing the role of a concerned young woman that just happened to pass by. "I noticed that your son had difficulty keeping up with the other children due to his injury. Have you had any doctor look at that leg yet?" I asked as I slowly approached the mother and her son.

The mother looked at me before she answered amicably, "Yes, but none of the medication any of the doctors have prescribed have worked." She sighed afterwards, "Maybe this injury is just too severe for doctors to fix."

"I wouldn't say so. The doctors just have been trying to fix the leg using the wrong methods to fix that leg." I said to the woman.

"Really?" she said in surprise. "Do you know of a doctor that can fix this?" She asked hopefully.

"I know how to fix the leg. I wouldn't be my first time either." I answered. Yes, this wouldn't be the first time if I counted my previous life.

"You're a doctor?" She looked even more surprised than before. "I thought you were the daughter of a samurai because of the naginata you're carrying."

"Yes, I'm a doctor." I laughed good-naturedly. "I only have this naginata because a close friend of mine didn't want me in Kyoto without any way of defending myself. I'm nowhere close to having samurai blood in my veins."

"Oh," the woman said with realization before asking. "So how would you fix the leg?"

"Your son's leg never healed properly after he broke it, right?" The woman nodded as a response to my question. "For the leg to heal properly, the bone must be broken again and then held in place by pins to heal straight. It might sound scary, but this operation is rather simple and has minimal risk because of your son's young age."

"You said that you've done this before. Has the operation always been successful?"

"I've never failed once. I can perform the same operation if you are willing to pay for my skills the supplies needed. In fact, if you can purchase all the materials then I could even operate today."

"Why don't you come inside the store so we could discuss the details inside with my husband? Come along Takumi, we might just get that leg fixed!" the woman said with good cheer as she ushered her son and I into the store.

* * *

><p>The boy's father had consented to the operation after a short explanation. Both parents were desperate that their son had a normal life and immediately paid me and went to purchase the needed materials. I operated on the boy's leg that same day and by the time I was finished, it was the hour of the monkey. As I was walking back to the headquarters, I spotted Ibuki-kun walking back to headquarters while carrying a jar of sake over his shoulders. Serizawa probably had Ibuki-kun go out and buy the sake. That drunkard wasted too much money on his own pleasures. A sip of alcohol everyone once in awhile was good for the body but at the rate Serizawa was drinking, I was surprised he didn't have liver failure yet.<p>

"Ibuki-kun!" I called out to him before I jogged to catch up. "Are you heading back now?"

"Wah! It you!" he yelled out at me. "Where have you been?! Hijikata-san asked Sano, Shinpachi, and Heisuke to look for you while they were out patrolling the streets!"

"So I see," I responded with an innocent smile.

"Gah!" he yelled in sudden realization. "I shouldn't even be talking with you! Okita will beat me up again if he knows I've been speaking to you!" Ibuki-kun said loudly before picking up his pace. He wanted to put distance between us incase Souji saw us walking together.

"Aw, don't be so mean. Let's walk back together." I said cheerfully. Souji doesn't get to decide who I can consort with.

"Ah! Don't follow me!"

"But were going same way anyways," I grinned at Ibuki-kun's panicked expression when he noticed I sped up to keep the same pace as him. "Besides, think of what he would do to you if he found out that you let me walk around Kyoto alone."

"That's so cruel of you…" Ibuki-kun whimpered.

Both Ibuki-kun and I heard the sound of wooden swords clashing when neared the Mibu temple. We both went to look around the gate to see who was sparring at this time; it was Souji and Saito-san?

_No way! Is that Saito-san? What's he doing in Kyoto? _I had honestly thought that I would never see him again after he disappeared back in Edo. When did he get here?

Ibuki-kun paused to watch the spar with me. Both Souji and Saito-san were facing each other, each as still as stone statues. Souji suddenly made the first move. Souji brought his bokken above his head and swung it downwards towards Saito-san only to have it blocked. Saito-san pushed the wooden sword off of his before Souji moved quickly into a forwards thrust. Saito-san stepped slightly to the right to dodge the attack before bringing his bokken down in a downwards slash. Souji spun out of the way of the attack and created some space between them.

"Most impressive, Hajime-kun. You don't let a moment's weakness slip by." Souji complemented Saito-san before both men resumed with frontal attacks.

Both men swung their wooden swords at the same time only to become locked together. Seeing no way of being able to over power the other, both men separated their attacks and leapt back.

"You're still the same as ever. Just the fact you're left-handed make you all the harder to lunge at." Souji continued from his earlier complement.

"And it would seem you've improved upon your suri-ashi side step as well." Saito-san said back to Souji.

"I bet you're going to be unbeatable, even here in Kyoto." Saito-san got back into a forward thrust stance after Souji's statement.

Saito-san managed to launch two forward thrusts at Souji before Souji pushed him back with an attack of his own. Both men then brought their wooden swords over their heads and moved to attack each other. At the last moment, Saito-san performed a quick side step and landed a hit on Souji's left side, thus ending the match. Souji still had his bokken held over his head when Saito-san had landed that hit. An expression of disbelief at the hit was present on Souji's face before it faded into one of resignation.

"You got… one in." Souji said with a somewhat strained smile.

Both men backed away from each other with their wooden swords in their left hands before bowing in respect to each other.

"Hey, Hajime-kun. Have you changed the way you lunge?" Saito-san gave a quick look of surprise at Souji's question. "Did you undergo training at a different dojo or something?"

Saito-san answered calmly. "No, I don't believe I have changed my style."

"Hmm…" Souji didn't quite believe what Saito-san said. But Souji was right, something had changed. Saito-san's lunge now had a more lethal quality to it now.

I decided to interrupt the two's conversation. The questions could come later, after all, Saito-san, who was like family to me, was back. I seriously thought I would never see him again.

"Saito-san!" I called out before slamming into his side. "When did you get here? Are you staying with us?" I asked excitedly.

Saito-san just stared at me with wide eyes. He didn't seem to know what to do with a young woman attached to his side.

"He just got here and he's staying with us." Souji answered me instead. He didn't seem too happy to see me attached to Saito-san like this. "But of course, you would have known if you actually stayed at the Yagi house like you were supposed to." He said as he pried me off of Saito-san. "Where did you go anyways?"

"I was out with Ibuki-kun." I said with a bright smile while pointing to Ibuki-kun, who was in the middle of sneaking off.

"Oh?" Souji said with a dark smile before power-walking to where Ibuki-kun was. Souji forcefully grabbed Ibuki-kun around the shoulders. "So you decided to take Shizuka with you?"

"N-no! You've got it all wrong!" Ibuki-kun yelled out in panic before yelling at me. "Don't tell him lies! I don't want to die yet!" This was too much fun.

"So you're calling Shizuka a liar? Both of you did return together." Souji said with venom. Saito-san just sighed and looked at me through the corner of his eye. He was already use to my antics.

"N-no! The only reason we returned together is because we ran into each other outside! I-I didn't want her to walk back by herself because it was dangerous!" Ibuki-kun tried to explain in a flurry panic.

"Hmm… well I guess you did alright." Souji released Ibuki-kun when the explanation was accepted. "But remember, I'm watching you."

Ibuki-kun ran away from the temple as fast as he could after he was released.

"So what were you doing?" Souji asked while looking down at me after he walked back to where Saito and I were standing.

"Hmm… I wonder…" I said, adopting a pondering look.

"Huh? You're not going to tell me?" Souji raised his eyebrow at me.

"Nope. You'll find out later." I winked at him. Souji just looked back at me with a displeased face.

Saito-san, at that moment, decided to end our conversation. "If you were out all day without telling anyone, then we should return to the Yagi house now. We should put an end to Hijikata-san's worrying."

* * *

><p>"Ow!" I cried as Hijikata-san cuffed me on the back of my head with his hand. The moment he saw me walk in the house, he whacked me.<p>

"Just what were you doing? What did I say about leaving the house alone?" Hijikata-san scolded.

"To not to." I answered while rubbing the spot he hit.

"So care to tell me why you disobeyed?"

"No, not really."

A vein appeared Hijikata-san forehead before he started pulling on my cheek. "Ho? Care to repeat that?"

"Ouch, ouch, ouch! Let go!" I cried while pulling at his hands, trying to get him to release me.

Father just shook his head at me with a small smile and let Hijikata-san continue to abuse my face. Souji was no help either; all he did was laugh at me before tugging on my other cheek.

* * *

><p>"Truly, I am excited that you rushed to our aid, Saito-kun. It is most heartening" Father said to Saito-san as we all gathered to eat dinner later that night. "With you here, we're a hundred men stronger."<p>

Souji, who sat next to Saito-san took a bite of food while looking envious at the praise Saito-san received from Father. I nudged Souji's side and placed an extra sardine from my plate in his bowl.

"Sir!" Saito-san replied to Father's praise.

"With him here, everyone from our Edo days has been reunited." Sannan-san added to the conversation. Both Father and Hijikata-san nodded at that statement.

"What's Ryunosuke up to?" Shinpachi-san suddenly asked Heisuke after Sannan-san finished speaking.

"I told him we're eating," Heisuke answered, "but he said he doesn't want any dinner."

"A moment, Nagakura-kun." Father cut in

"Yeah?" Shinpachi-san focused his attention on Father.

"How was the city?" Father asked since Shinpachi-san, Heisuke, and Sano-san were out on patrol earlier.

"Right, I spotted some ruffians causin' problems here and there." Shinpachi-san replied.

"It'd probably be best if we avoided going out alone." Sano-san added before giving me a pointed look. "A rogue samurai could strike us down at any time and the locals won't be of any help."

"I see… This is even worse than I imagined" Father said while processing the information.

Hijikata-san gave Father a confident look before facing everyone else. "Let them bring it on! Because the locals and the clans aren't up to the task, we've got a chance to make a name for ourselves. You guys came prepared for danger, didn't you? You aren't going to declare you want to go home to Edo, right?" Hijikata-san oozed charisma as he spoke.

Shinpachi-san grinned and said, "I wouldn't have followed ya all the way to Kyoto if I was going to do that."

"Yeah!" Heisuke agreed. "Everyone here formed their resolves ages ago!"

"This may prove trying, but I hope you will bear with us for a while!" Father said while bowing gratefully from his seated position.

"Don't even get started, Kondou-san." Souji reassured Father.

"We're used to the poor life!" Heisuke added cheerfully.

"Like, seriously. Just getting' miso soup and pickles is a luxury compared to life back at Shieikan." Shinpachi-san finished with a grin.

"You said it!" Sano-san agreed.

"Nope, I'd we're even better off now since there's even enough here for everyone to ask for seconds." I said playfully while raising my bowl of rice.

Everyone laughed in good cheer.

* * *

><p><em>Oh bugger!<em> After finding out that had I snuck out of the headquarters yesterday morning, Hijikata-san had kept a tighter watch over the gates this morning. It was already the hour of the dragon and if I didn't leave soon, then I wouldn't have enough time to check on the boy from yesterday and find a new target. There was no way I would be able to get out of the headquarters unnoticed today unless I found some way to distract Hijikata-san. I quickly ducked into my hiding spot as Hijikata-san's hawk-like gaze swept over the area where I was once standing. I headed towards the kitchen after Hijikata-san's gazed had passed. I had a plan and I needed someone to be near the kitchen for it to work.

As soon as I came close enough to the kitchen, I peeked into the nearby rooms. _Perfect!_ I thought as I spotted Sano-san chatting with Shinpachi-san in the room to the left. I quickly ran to the kitchen and put on the apron. I quickly dusted the front of the apron and my hands with flour before returning to the room Sano-san and Shinpachi-san were in.

"Sano-san, Shinpachi-san," I called into the room as I appeared in the doorway. "Father wants to talk to Hijikata-san and Sannan-san. Do you think you guys could go get them? I would go do it myself, but as you can see, I'm busy with making nikuman in the kitchen. I can't leave the unfinished food in the kitchen for too long."

"Oh, it's been awhile since we ate any nikuman!" Sano-san said. "Sure, we'll go get them for you. I'll go get Hijikata-san and Shinpachi will go get Sannan-san."

"Sure thing, princess! Just focus on making those delicious nikuman!" Shinpachi-san grinned before he began to drool. "Yum! I can just taste the nikuman already!" _Well someone's going to be very disappointed when he finds out that he's been deceived._

Both men exited the room and I returned to the kitchen to wait for Sano-san to remove Hijikata-san from the front gate. I watched from my hiding spot as Sano-san approached Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san, Kondou-san wants to talk to both you and Sannan-san."

"What about?"

"I'm not sure. Shizuka was originally supposed to go get you, but she's busy in the kitchen. She doesn't want to leave the food unsupervised. She's making nikuman today."

"Oh! It's been awhile since she made any nikuman for us. Well then, I guess I didn't need to guard the front gate after all. If Shizuka's busy in the kitchen then that must mean she wasn't planning on sneaking out today. Well I better go see what Kondou-san wants to talk about."

_Maybe I should have said I was making something else? There's going to be a lot of disappointed people today._ I got out of my hiding place and ditched the apron as soon as both Sano-san and Hijikata-san entered the main building, leaving the front gate unguarded. I quickly grabbed my naginata and surgical tools that were leaning against the kitchen wall and made a dash for freedom. _I'm sure they'll forgive me later when they understand why I'm doing this. Now let's do some hunting in the eastern side of the business sector today._

I had managed to make it down the block and as I was turning the corner, a voice froze me in place.

"Oh? Just where do you think you're going?"

I turned to see Souji leaning against the wall. He grinned at me before he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me.

"You won't be able to sneak away this time. I know you too well." Souji said as he came to a stop in front of me. "So where are you going this time, hmm?"

"Umm…" Just how was I going to get out of this? Souji has been with me since we were both kids, so my normal tricks weren't going to work. In the end, he just knew me too well to fall for anything. I had to try something completely new and different. _Oh! What if I…_

"Don't tell me you're sneaking out just to go meet a man…" Souji said with a particularly nasty expression. _He has an overactive imagination… time to try out my new escape plan._

"Souji…" I said shyly while looking down.

"Eh? What is it?" he asked a bit surprised at my sudden change in attitude.

I raised my glance to look at him coyly through my long lashes. His confusion at the way I was acting visible on his face. I slowly crossed the distance between the two of us and placed my lips gently on his.

This was where my plan completely failed to work. Instead of freezing up and giving me a chance to run, Souji wrapped his arms around my waist, effectively trapping me in place. He pressed his lips harder against mine.

_Okay… so I clearly miscalculated. I clearly don't know him as well as I thought I did. I thought he would cringe upon kissing someone he's so familiar with. This __**is**__ his first time kissing a girl, maybe he's just excited? I honestly thought the kiss would distract him long enough for me to escape. Whoa! Did he just stick his tongue in my mouth? Okay, I get it if he's excited, but isn't he getting a bit too enthusiastic?_

"SHIZUKA!" I heard Hijikata-san roar not too far behind.

Crap, Hijikata-san had found out that I tricked him and I needed to disappear fast. However, there was a problem. Souji was still trying to stick his tongue down my throat, so I was stuck in place. I honestly could not foresee this day ending well in any way. I heard the footsteps of a single person running towards Souji's and mine position. The footsteps came to a sudden stop on our left side.

"Wha?" I heard Hijikata-san say.

Souji broke away, but kept his arms looped around my waist. He turned his head toward Hijikata-san and had a very unimpressed expression on.

"Doesn't Hijikata-san know that it's rude to interrupt?" Souji said with displeasure clear in his voice.

"I-I—what?" Hijikata-san stuttered with a baffled look. He cleared his throat before composing himself. "Well as long as Shizuka isn't running around by herself." Hijikata-san turned and started walking back towards the compound with a slight blush evident on his cheeks.

Souji and I remained in the same position until Hijikata-san disappeared from sight. Souji sighed before released me. He looked at me with a smug expression visible on his face.

"Did Shizuka really think that she could trick me like that? You thought I would freeze up and give you a chance to escape. I already told you that I knew you too well." Souji stated.

I pouted and looked away. Darn it, he really did know me too well.

Souji's smug expression vanished and he sighed again. "I know you have a good reason for sneaking out and you won't tell me until you're ready. I'll keep Hijikata-san off of your back so you can leave more easily. I won't ask what you're doing, but promise me you'll be careful."

I was touched by the amount of concern he had for me. I didn't think I would worth all that trouble.

"I promise. Thanks… You're the best, Souji." I said softly.

"The best, huh…" he said while smiling bitterly before heading back towards headquarters. I didn't understand why his smile was bitter or why it was bitter so often now, but I swore to myself that I would make him smile at me the way he once did back in childhood. When he smiled at me back then, it was always filled with true joy and without a hit of bitterness.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"But what Mom never told me is that along the way, you find sisters, and they find you. Girls are cool that way."

― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

Everyone from Shieikan was gathered at the front gates of the compound. Today was the day that Lord Iemochi was supposed to arrive in Kyoto. Father, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san were in a meeting with Serizawa to discuss what would be our course of action regarding the Shogun's visit. Were we to guard the Shogun like in the original mission, or do we ignore the Shogun's visit because we weren't called upon for protection? I honestly didn't really care what orders we were given. I didn't care much for the Shogun because of how distant he was from the average person. The man felt untouchable and distant, both traits also happened to be traits I disliked in a person. If the Roshigumi was to go guard the Shogun, then we would finally have a job to do. However, if we weren't, we would have free time to do as we pleased.

Everyone looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching. Ibuki-kun came to a stop in front of us while cradling what appeared to be his bruised hand.

"Let me see your hand." I carefully took his hand into mine and examined it while ignoring his protests.

Ibuki-kun resisted until Sano-san place a firm hand on Ibuki-san's head and pushed it down.

"Be a good boy and stop complaining. Shizuka's nice enough to worry about you even though all you do is avoid her." Sano-san said disapprovingly at Ibuki-kun's actions

Ibuki-kun stopped resisting and rested his hand in my hands to let me look at the extent of the damage. He spared Sano-san petulant glare.

It was just a large bruise on his knuckle. He probably got rapped across the hand by Serizawa's iron fan. While it was nothing serious, it still must have hurt. I reached into the sleeve of my top and pulled out a small jar of ointment I made just this morning and placed it in his hands.

"Put some on that bruise later. The ointment will help reduce the bruise size and numb the area." I recommended. "Keep the rest of that ointment. Since you're around Serizawa a lot, you'll probably be struck by his iron fan often."

"…Thanks…" Ibuki-kun said to avoid getting into more trouble with the guys again.

"So, Ryunosuke," Heisuke began. "You were in the same room as Serizawa-san, Kondou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san during the meeting. What did they say what we were going to do?"

"Well," Ibuki-kun started explaining what had gone on in the meeting. "Serizawa-san wasn't interested in going and said that if Kondou-san and the others decided to go then he wasn't going to stop him. Serizawa-san also seems to not have much respect for the Shogun…"

"Huh? Whaddya mean?" Shinpachi-san asked

Serizawa said that there was no need to guard that 'inept fool' and that the Shogun was a shame to the shogun line." Ibuki-kun answered.

Shinpachi-san crossed his arms across his chest and adopted a serious expression. "Serizawa-san said something nuts like that?"

"Yeah…" Ibuki-kun confirmed.

Heisuke picked up on the information Ibuki-kun said before. "Serizawa-san said he wasn't going to stop us… It looks like that guy seriously hates out guts." Ibuki-kun turned his head to focus on what Heisuke was saying. "He must still bear a grudge over the Honjou Inn incident."

"Honjou Inn incident?" Ibuki-kun asked curiously.

Heisuke suddenly realized he mentioned the taboo subject.

"Eh?! Oh well…" Heisuke said as he tried to find a way to avoid talking about the incident.

Everyone else's face darkened slightly at the mention of incident, just thinking about the way that Serizawa behaved that night pissed me off. I hated that bastard.

"Go ahead and tell him." Souji told Heisuke, slightly ticked off at the memory. "Hajime-kun doesn't know about it either."

"'Kay." Heisuke nodded at the consent be he started to explain what had happened. "When were traveling to Kyoto together with Serizawa-san, Kondou-san was given the job of 'advanced accommodations requisition'."

"Advanced accommodations requisition?" Ibuki-kun repeated.

"It was his duty to travel ahead and find rooms for the Roshigumi. But he made a booking error at the Honjou Inn and didn't get a private room for Serizawa-san." Heisuke continued. "Serizawa-san said that it gets extremely cold at night, so he trashed a nearby building and set it on fire. In the end, Kondou-san got on his hands and knees and apologized to Serizawa-san."

"That wasn't the only thing that happened." Sano-san added before placing his large hand gently on top of my head. "Shizuka here, decide to make an enemy out of Serizawa-san. She raised her weapon against him after insulting him on purpose."

"But should have gotten you killed!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed in shock. He was looking at me like I was some sort of extinct animal.

Everyone looked down at the ground in a tense silence before Heisuke finished up his explanation. "Somehow we managed to make it to Kyoto in one piece, but it put a rift between us."

Everyone remained silent until Father came to tell us that we were going to go guard the Shogun from the crowds.

* * *

><p>The streets of Kyoto were lined with official guards instated by clan Aizu. The civilians who came to watch the Shogun's procession were crowded in the spaces between the buildings and held back by guards in order to keep the streets clear. All of us who came to guard the Shogun and Ibuki-kun, who tagged along, were stuck in the back of the crowds. Our position in the back was completely useless. There was no way we could guard the Shogun from a distance with a barrier of people between us and the Shogun. In my on opinion, we were wasting our time. The Shogun had more than enough guards and the Roshigumi couldn't even get close enough to be of some use.<p>

"This is stinkin' crowded!" Shinpachi-san voiced everyone's thoughts. "We'd never know if there were any rogue samurai mingling amongst all these people!"

"Don't you need to be closer up?" Ibuki-kun asked despite the answer being obvious.

"Yeah, you're right." Sano-san answered. "We can't protect no one worth squat from back here!"

There was seriously no point for us to be here if we weren't going to be useful. I wasn't going to waste my time on someone who clearly did not need me. I turned and began to walk back to the headquarters. I could be using my time to do something useful, like investigating where I could invest my money to bring in more income. I needed to be ready to act when the time is right to dispose of Serizawa.

"I'm heading back." I called out to them as I walked away.

"You're not going to stay?" Hijikata-san asked. "The Shogun hasn't even passed by us yet."

I stopped walking and turned my head to face the guys. "I'm not going to waste my time here. The Shogun already has more than enough guards. We're clearly not need here, so I going to head back and do something useful with my time. You guys can stay here and have fun."

I continued walking back to Mibu village after I said my piece. Maybe I should go to the Mibu temple instead of headquarters to do some training. I wanted to be able to take on any ronin incase I ran into any trouble. I could do the investigating and planning later when business resumed as usual in the market place again. All the business had closed down so the people running the businesses could go watch the Shogun stroll into town. Practice would probably be the besting to do right now.

* * *

><p>The moment I saw Saito-san, Sano-san, and Souji enter the temple grounds where I was training, I knew the Shogun was done passing through Kyoto. If the Shogun was done passing through Kyoto, then business was continuing as usual back at the market. That meant that it was time to do some investigation. Maybe I could find one more patient to treat today or maybe I could find a place to invest my money. I needed to have a higher income rate than Serizawa if I wanted to out-compete him.<p>

"So this is where you've been the whole time." Sano-san said, patting my head.

"Yup! Did you guys actually get close enough to guard the Shogun?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"No, there were too many people between us and the Shogun." Saito-san answered me.

"Too bad we couldn't cut them down to get through." Souji said sarcastically. That was a really bad joke; at least I hope it was a joke.

"Are you here to train now that the excitement of the Shogun passing through is over?" I asked the three men.

"Yeah. I can have a small practice match with you if you want, Shizuka." Sano-san offered kindly.

"No thanks, I've just about finished up for the day." I tied my naginata onto my back again. It was time to hit the city again.

"You're going out again? It's dangerous outside. Do you want me to come with?" Sano-san asked.

"Nope! I'll be fine. Remember who I train with on a daily basis?" I said cheerfully before I skipped off. _Let's try the central market today. I have a feeling that I might find some treasure today._

* * *

><p>Getting to the central market did take a while. Kyoto was a big city and I was walking from Mibu village, which was on the outskirts of Kyoto. The central market was once again crowded with people who were resuming regular life, and that also included the ronin plaguing the city.<p>

"We're hard working samurai in service to the emperor and you're saying you won't pay us for our service?" one ronin in a group of three said condescendingly at a middle aged man kneeling on the floor.

The ronin that just spoke was most likely the leader of the little brigade. He was fairly tall and possessed a lanky build. His hazel-colored hair was tided in a high ponytail, leaving his bangs to cover part of his angular face. The other ronin behind the leader to the right had a terrible overbite with buckteeth. The last ronin was a fairly good looking man that had a wooden toothpick hanging out of his mouth.

The civilians in the marketplace were all watching the abuse from a distance, all unable to help the victim.

"P-please S-samurai-sama, my family needs to eat. H-have mercy" the man on the floor begged.

"Oh, but you see, we need to eat too." the one with the toothpick reasoned.

That was a blatant lie. Those ronin did not need the money they were trying to pressure out of their victim. Those men were all dressed well and the one with the buckteeth was even slightly overweight. The coin purse on the leader's hip was budging with coins and jingled every time he moved. It was disgusting to see these men abusing their power and preying on the weak. I would not stand for this. Someone had to defend those who could not defend themselves and I had the ability to do so. My skill and insight was far above average and covered my below average speed and physical strength. Taking on these ronin would be a piece of cake compared to sparring with the guys back at headquarters.

Before I could step in and force those three ronin away, an extremely beautiful young woman that looked to be about my age, came running out a nearby bank. The young woman had long, silky, black hair that was twisted into an elegant bun. She possessed pale skin that had not yet been kissed by the sun. Her fingers were long and dainty and her hands smooth. I felt like I was looking at a princess from one of those old fairytales. She was so beautiful, in fact, that I could **almost** become bi for her.

"Leave my Father alone!" the young woman yelled loudly. She foolishly ran and stood between her father and the three ronin. There was no way she could be able to defend herself and her father.

"No! Kyoko-chan! Come back!" an older woman, most likely her mother, gasped in horror near the bank.

"Hey, hey, hey," the leader said as he leered at here perversely. "Didja hear what the broad said?"

The leader's two minions laughed before the ronin with the buckteeth said, "Well if you're offering yourself up instead, then who are we to refuse?"

The young woman grew fearful after her bravado faded, but she hid her fear well. Only the slight tremor of her hand revealed her true feelings.

"N-no!" the father cried from the floor. "J-just take the money! Leave my d-daughter alone!"

"Oh, but you see, it would be rude of us not have some fun with her after she offered herself up to us." the leader grinned cruelly when he spoke. "But since you offered us the money, we'll be taking that too."

Okay, I think I've observed long enough. Even though I would be outnumbered the moment I intervened, I had no doubt I could win if the encounter became a fight. The three men all carried a pair of swords each, one katana and one kodachi. The hilts of all the swords were worn down and needed immediate maintenance. One thing I learned about swords from the guys back at headquarters was that you could always tell how well a man takes care of his sword by the condition of the hilt. Poorly maintained swords were the mark of a poor swordsman. Another marker of poor swordsmanship was conditions of the ronin's bodies. The men did not look unhealthy, but their bodies lacked the muscle structure one would have if one were to train with a sword daily. These men just threatened people using their status and fear. They had no real skill with swords.

"That's enough now, don't you think so?" I said as I sauntered over to the three ronin. "She clearly doesn't want to go anywhere with you three, so don't you think you should be gentlemen and leave her alone?"

The men glanced at me when I approached. Their eyes were immediately drawn to the naginata I carried on my back.

"A samurai's daughter, huh?" the leader voiced his assumption once his eyes found my weapon. He turned to me and spoke with a sneer. "So are you offering yourself in her place? You aren't as pretty as she is, but you're definitely not ugly either."

"No, I didn't offer myself up to you and I don't recall her offering herself to you either. You said you were samurai in service to the emperor, didn't you? Real samurai don't victimize the weak or disturb the peace of the people they are sworn to protect." I said firmly.

The ronin's expressions morphed into an ugly looks. The man with the toothpick spoke out in anger. "You calling us fakes?! We ought to cut you down for that insult!" All three ronin reached for their swords. This situation was explosive and a fight was unavoidable.

"I never called you three fakes. All I stated was what real samurai do." I retorted while reaching for my weapon. "But since you want to cut me down for that 'insult', what would you like first? An actual insult to warrant drawing your swords or the physical injury?"

I pulled my naginata in front of me and I got into a battle stance as the three ronin drew their blades. The young woman helped her father up and ran toward the sides to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. No one moved for a few seconds and the onlookers held their breaths. Who would win? The tiny 4'9" woman or the three tall ronin?

The leader attacked first when I did not move. The leader sloppily charged at me with his sword held high over his head. His foot work was messy and his eyes were only focus on my face, leaving him blind to any move I would make. As soon as he came into range, I tripped him with the butt of my weapon and he went flying past me before he landed on his face. The other two ronin, now seeing their leader on the floor, both charge at me at the same time. Both men were just as unequally skilled as their leader and, in some cases, even more unskilled. Both men were too close to each other. They could easily hit each other accidentally with their own weapons or I could hit both of them at the same time with one swing of my weapon. When the men got close enough, I swung my naginata at the man on the right side. The back end of my blade knocked the right man into the left man and they both collapsed in a heap off to the side. The leader, who had now gotten up, was now charging to attack me from behind. His attack was far too predictable and I easily dodged with a simple sidestep. The leader was unable to stop his built up momentum and he ran past me, leaving his back open for an attack. I whack him on the back of his head with the staff portion of my weapon to knock him out before hooking him by his clothing with the back of my blade and flinging him towards the other two men that were now getting up. The two minion ronin panicked when they saw their unconscious leader.

"We women are not play things that you can pick up and discard as you wish." I stated as I stood above the ronin. "And this family worked hard for their money. You have no right to take what is not yours when you feel like it. Leave and do not return."

The ronin scrambled to their feet and ran away while carrying their leader. Their pride was broken and they would be too ashamed to return.

I retied my weapon to my back and walked over to the young woman and her father.

"Are you both alright?" I asked gently.

The young woman eyed my naginata was wary of me while the father dropped to his knees to thank me.

"T-thank you so much! I would have not expected someone of your status to have helped commoners like us!" the father said while bowing.

That was too excessive just for thanks. The man and his daughter probably assumed that I was the daughter of a samurai because of my naginata. Samurai in the Edo period were akin to nobility and only women of the same class carried a naginata.

I reached down to help the man stand up. "There's no need to go that far just to say thanks. I may carry a naginata, but I don't have a single drop of samurai blood in my veins. I'm just the daughter of a farmer. The only reason I have a naginata is because a close friend of mine wanted me to be able to defend myself incase I ran into trouble." I explained.

"So you're a commoner too?" The young woman asked as suspicion began to leave her.

"Yes," I replied with a kind smile.

She brightened up considerably and immediately became friendlier towards me.

"My name is Wakahisa Kyoko!" she introduced herself to me loudly before grabbing both of my hands. "You're so small and cute, but you're so strong! Let's be friends!"

Her eyes sparkled and she behaved like she had just found her lost, life-long friend. She wasn't a just physically beautiful person. She also had a pretty cute personality too and I instantly liked her. Kyoko-chan was my first female friend that was the same age as me.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life"  
>― Marcus Aurelius, <em>Meditations<em>

"No way! I heard that he was the worst possible customer a geisha could end up with, but you actually live with him?!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed with her eyes budging out of her eye sockets. The stick of dango she was about to take a bite out of bounced off the bench we were both sitting on and fell to the floor as she froze in surprise at the information I just told her. "Ah! No, not my dango!" she cried when she finally realized her hand was empty.

Kyoko-chan lamented the premature death of her snack for a few seconds before eyeing my half eaten stick of dango with a playful glint in her eyes. One moment, the stick of dango was in my hands and the next moment, I only had the stick in my hands. She gave a heavenly sigh after she gulped down my snack before giggling mirthfully at me as I struggled to pick my jaw off the floor. The speed at which she stole my food was impressive. I have never before, in my two lives, witness anyone steal food faster then she just did. She was faster than a snapping turtle on steroids. I think she moved even faster than Saito-san could.

"W-what? I don't even—what?" I bumbled, still trying to regain control over floppy mandible. "How did you do that?!"

"Hehehe! My annoying little brother likes to steal my food," said Kyoko-chan with a straight back and raised chin. "So it makes sense that I've become skilled at stealing food back!"

"But you didn't steal **your** food back, you stole **my** food." I pointed out.

"Eh, same concept." she justified.

"Since you just stole my snack, you have to treat me to what I want to eat next time." I demanded impishly, narrowing my eyes at her.

Kyoko-chan grinned, "It's a date!"

To have a girl friend that was my age was really nice. While Tsune-san was also technically a girl friend, she really was more of a mother figure to me. Kyoko-chan was someone I could gossip and fool around with. Sure, I could fool around with the guys too, but there were some things only girls could do together, like going to a sentō together. Kyoko-chan was always fun to be around and both us became very close within a few days of meeting each other. We were like two kindred souls. Now whenever I was in the main city, I was never alone. Kyoko-chan came with me every time I worked or was looking for work.

Kyoko-chan was also an excellent source of news. She knew most rumors flying around Kyoto's center, who was having an affair with whom, most of the gossip of the main hub, and more. She even had the seemingly magical ability to know news before it had even happened. Kyoko-chan was well liked by everyone and people would, more than often, spill their deepest darkest secret to her without much persuasion. There was no one more interwoven into the fabric of the city center than she.

"So," she returned to our topic from before the whole dango fiasco, "you were serious that you live with that Serizawa guy?"

"Yeah, but luckily he spends most of his time at Maekawa house rather than the Yagi house."

"Ew, I think I would just die if I had to live near that guy."

"You know, besides the fact that he's a complete and utter bastard, he's actually an okay housemate."

Kyoko-chan stared at me slack-jawed before placing her hand on my forehead. "Are you feeling feverish? Did you take a blow to the head?"

I swatted her hand away. "I feel **fine**. I mean that Serizawa at least doesn't leave his underwear in random places on the floor all over the house."

"Wait… you mean there's someone you live with that actually does that?! Who?"

"Shinpachi-san. He didn't stop until few weeks ago when I threatened to burn all his undergarments." And what an effect threat that was. I haven't even seen his undergarments when I doing the guys' laundry since.

"Oh, that's right! You said you were the only woman living with the Roshigumi. So what are the guys like? Are they hot?"

"The guys… they're all like family to me. Father is like… well, a father; Sannan-san and Gen-san are the uncles; Sano-san and Hijikata-san are the older brothers; Shinpachi-san is the 'older brother's best friend'; Saito-san is the family friend that's so close that he's practically family; and Souji is like… hmm, I don't know. Souji is just Souji and, yes, they are all fairly attractive."

"Lucky! You should introduce me to them! If you like them, then that means their all decent, **handsome**, men."

"Hahaha! You just want some eye candy to look at!"

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Kyoko-chan winked before asking curiously, "By the way, what did you mean by 'Souji is just Souji'? He's the one you've known the longest besides your adoptive father, right?"

"Yeah. I'm even closer to him than I am with Father. He's the one I trust the most. If I said that he felt like family, then that would be a lie. He's closer than family." I explained with my index finger on my lip.

"Oh! You mean like soul mates! Hmm… I smell potential for some romance."

"What are you talking about?" _Seriously, what romance? And…_ "I don't believe in soul mates."

Kyoko-chan pat my head patronizingly, "Poor little Shizuka-chan. When it comes to romance, you're denser than a piece of solid lead."

"No I'm not…" I mumbled with a pout. _Well maybe that's why I never got married in my previous life_. I jumped off the bench and stretched my limbs. "It's about time to head back home. I'll see you tomorrow?" I should get back before the guys end up going without lunch.

"Yup! I'll find more people for you to treat tomorrow and if we finish early, then we can head to the sentō together. I'll wash your back if you wash mine?" she asked as she stood up.

I grinned, "Deal!"

* * *

><p>"Oh! Good morning Ibuki-kun!" I wave at him as I approached the front gates of the estate.<p>

"Morning? It's already almost time for lunch." mumbled Ibuki-kun while he swept the floor in front of the kitchen.

"But it's still morning," I pointed out. "It's not the hour of the horse yet."

Ibuki-kun huffed and continued sweeping. I guess I should stop getting him into trouble so much? Nah, it was too much fun.

"Oh! You're back." a familiar voice called from a little further in the estate.

"Souji!" exclaimed excitedly. Hanging out with Kyoko-chan always did put me in a good mood, but since I started spending more time with her, I've started neglecting Souji a bit.

I bounced over to where Souji was and pecked him on the cheek. Souji's face brightened up considerably when my kiss connected with his cheek.

"You're cheerful today. Are you finally going to tell me what you do when you're out in Kyoto alone?" he asked.

I still didn't want to tell anyone of my scheme to remove Serizawa yet, but telling him about Kyoko-chan should have been fine. It should satiate his curiosity for some time.

"I've been meeting with someone every time I go out." I blissfully said.

I must have said something wrong because a shadow appeared on Souji's face and his smile became strained. There was even a slight killing intent coming from him.

"Gah!" Ibuki-kun's panicked cry reached my ears and I could literally hear him scrambling for a place to hide. Well, that makes sense. Souji did have a tendency to beat people up when he was upset.

"So you were meeting someone?" came Souji's strained question. Why was he so tense?

"Yup!"

After I answered his question, I could see him gripping his katana tightly. Maybe he was upset I haven't been spending as much time with him lately.

"Maybe you should take me to meet this person you've been spending so much time with." A vein appeared on his forehead. _So, he was mad._

"Okay," I answered. Maybe he wouldn't be so mad if he met Kyoko-chan. She was a rather likable person, after all. "Oh! But it can't be tomorrow. We're both going to a sentō together tomorrow," I remembered out loud.

Okay, I really did say something wrong this time. I could feel the killing intent magnify and roll off of Souji like tidal waves as he grit his teeth.

"You let a man you've met in Kyoto wash your back when you're covered in nothing but a towel?"

Man? No wonder he was so mad. He thought I was talking about some random man I just met. Souji always did dislike it when other people got too close to me, especially men.

"Eh? Kyoko-chan's a woman, not a man." I explained

Most of the killing intent vanished at my explanation. I could hear a sigh of relief from Ibuki-kun as got out of his hiding spot, and resumed his chores.

"You'll like Kyoko-chan. She's really friendly and nice. You can come with me the next time I go to meet up with her." I promised Souji before grabbing his hand. "Help me with lunch?"

"Okay," he said with a small, strained smile.

"So, what do want for lunch today?"

"How about some daikon rice porridge, it's been some time since you've made some." he said as I led him into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"So," I asked, "how does it taste? Is it too salty?"<p>

Souji shook his head no with a pleasant smile. "It's delicious."

"Alright! Help me divide the porridge into bowls so we—"

I was interrupted by the voice of a young boy loudly crying by the kitchen door. Souji's and my eyes met before we headed towards the door to see what had happened. As we both exited, Yagi Yuunosuke, the son of Yagi-san and Masa-san, ran past us in tears.

"Yuu-boy, what's wrong?" Souji asked nonchalantly.

Yuu-kun continued running and crying, "I'm scared!"

_Scared? Scared of what?_

Souji began to walk towards the entrance of estate to see just what it was that frightened the kid so badly. I followed closely behind.

"Who's that kid?" asked Ibuki-kun, who was sweeping the floor near the kitchen and front gate.

"He lives here." Souji answered as he walked passed Ibuki-kun before speaking to me. "Shizuka, stay behind me."

All three of us went to look cautiously out the gate but what greeted us were familiar faces. Ibuki-kun gasped in shock while Souji just stared in shock. Outside the gate stood blood-covered Shinpachi-san and Saito-san, the blood on their bodies and clothing were still wet and I could even still smell the freshly spilt blood on them. Were they injuried? No, the blood on their clothing was in the wrong pattern for injury, but still one couldn't be too sure. Rather than the blood coming from a possible injury, the blood more than likely came from another source.

The pattern of the blood on those two indicated that the blood was splattered on to them. The only way to get blood to splatter is to cut a large artery in someone else's body. Arties were the only vessels in the body with high enough pressure to produce spurts of blood. The amount of blood on the men also signified that they cut a main artery near the chest cavity that would quickly lead to the victims bleeding out within seconds. They've killed. I knew that if we all stayed in Kyoto, then it would be inevitable that everyone would one day kill, but me knowing that didn't make everyone else prepared. Because of the path everyone chose to walk, I knew that before this the end of this era, everyone's blades would be draw enough blood to make the streets of Kyoto run like rivers, it was only a matter of time.

"Ibuki-kun," I said with a firm voice, "go find Hijikata-san and Sannan-san and tell them to go meet us in the courtyard."

Ibuki-kun immediately ran off to fulfill my request. I turned to the two that were still covered in blood and quickly scanned them for any possible injuries.

"No injuries, right?"

"It's just spurts of blood. We're not hurt." Saito-san answered strangely calm. I had to be right with my previous suspicion back in Edo. This wasn't the first time he's killed; he's far too calm compared to Shinpachi-san, who was still tense.

"Shinpachi-san, Saito-san, go to the courtyard and wait for Hijikata-san and Sannan-san." I directed "Souji and I will go get some tubs of water for you guys to wash up."

"Understood," replied Saito-san as he headed towards the courtyard. Shinpachi-san gave me one hard stare before he followed Saito-san.

"You weren't even a little scared to see them covered in blood?" Souji asked after the two bloodied men left.

"Why would I be scared of seeing them covered in someone else's blood? I would think it would be much scarier to see them covered in their own blood." I said dryly.

"Hmm… So you already knew that the blood didn't belong to them." Souji said. "No wonder you didn't react."

"Let's go to get the water for them to use to clean up. I know it'll be highly unpleasant for them to have someone else's blood dry on them." I directed.

We spoke no more and did what we set out to do. By the time we had gathered what we needed and headed to the courtyard, Sannan-san and Hijikata-san were already there with Saito-san and Shinpachi-san. Souji and I set the water down for the two bloodied men to use before going to sit on the porch off to the side. Saito-san stripped off his outer layer and his scarf and began to wash the blood off in the tub. Shinpachi-san took off his top and tossed it into his tub. He then took the wet towel in his tub and began to wash off the blood on his upper body.

"What happened?" Hijikata-san questioned the two.

Shinpachi-san took the initiative and angrily spoke first.

"We barged into the family lodge those rouge samurai ran into, but the head clerk stopped us!"

Sannan-san furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, "He stopped you?"

"Yeah," Shinpachi-san responded. "He kept goin', 'Who ordered you to do this? Go get the local police.'"

"And that's how you lost those ronin?" asked Hijikata-san.

Shinpachi-san's nostrils flared as he threw the towel he was using back, "Damnit!" He began to scrub harshly at his clothing. "What're the people of Kyoto thinking defendin' those rogue samurai?"

Sannan-san replied with a voice of reason, "We lack any real track record and the imperialist national party, especially the Choshu ronin, are said to grease people's fingers."

Shinpachi-san gave an irritated 'tsk' sound after Sannan-san's response.

"For having just drawn someone's blood, you seem rather calm, Hajime-kun." Souji voiced his observation rather suddenly.

Saito-san did not even respond to Souji or even give any indication that he heard him. Souji was about to push for a response when I put my hand on his thigh. I shook my head at him to tell him to drop the subject.

Hijikata-san ignored what Souji said and approached Saito-san before asking, "Saito, having crossed blades with them, what do you think?"

"They were all lacking in skill with the sword." Saito-san answered as he pulled his tasuki loose. "But due to our limited numbers, I am concerned when I consider what would happen should the enemy surround us."

"But it would take time and money to enlist new recruits and train them." Hijikata-san said thoughtfully with his fingers resting on his chin. "For now, never go out alone. Getting yourself killed won't do us any good."

Hijikata-san's eyes found mine when he said the "never go out alone" part. He was dead serious this time. There was no way I would be able to leave the compound alone now, even with Souji's help. But when have poor odds ever stopped me? I believe I was going to start going "shopping" with Ibuki-kun every time he had to go buy sake for Serizawa.

"At any rate, there just isn't enough stuff we can do." interjected Shinpachi-san. "Say, what happened to workin' for the Aizu Domain?"

Crossing his arms, Sannan-san answered, "We shall be sending an official petition to Lord Aizu for permission to remain in Kyoto shortly."

"Any chance they'll give us permission to stay?"

"I cannot say." Sannan-san answered Shinpachi-san. "Depending on their answer, there is a possibility we will have to leave Kyoto. Truly, our fate rests on Serizawa-san's connections and course of action."

Hijikata-san made a disgruntle sound of displeasure. The expression on his face told us exactly what he was thinking.

"Just tell yourself that we are using him." suggested Sannan-san.

"I can't make myself that emotionally detached from this!" retorted Hijikata-san.

I sighed bitterly at his response, how naïve.

"You better learn how to fast or you'll never be able to outwit him. When you're overly emotional, you'll make it too easy for your opponent to predict your moves." I advised him

"You know, you've gotten really good at making yourself emotionally detached in the past few years." Hijikata-san commented while sparing me a short side glance. The "after your near-rape event" was implied but was left unsaid. After a moment of silence Hijikata-san continued speaking. "I swear that someday I will outwit that man and elevate Kondou-san to a high place of power!"

"Hmm… that's nice and all, but you all should go eat lunch first." I suggested. "It's probably already cold."

"Always the practical one, but are you not going to join us?" Sannan-san asked. He noticed the way I was wording my sentence.

"I will, but I need to go check on Yuu-kun," I explained. "He was really terrified when he saw those two covered in blood and I want to make sure he's okay. You guys go ahead and eat first."

"Wait." Shinpachi-san said seriously, stopping everyone's movement with his voice. "Why didn't you scream or even look shocked at me and Saito when you saw us covered in blood?"

So that was why he gave me that hard stare earlier. My lack of what he deemed a logical reaction bothered him greatly.

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" I asked.

"I know you're tougher than most girls, but even then, most would be terrified." Shinpachi-san narrowed his eye at me. "Why weren't you scared?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hijikata-san beat me to it.

"You don't know this because it happen before you arrived at Shieikan and another situation that serious hasn't occurred since. Shizuka has done open surgery on a person before."

"Seriously?!" Shinpachi-san yelped in surprise. "I thought she just told Serizawa that she was a surgeon to make him take her seriously." _Wait, so he thought I was lying about being a surgeon?_

Shock even appeared on Saito-san's normally stoic face.

"She has the guts to cut open a living person and sew that same person up again. Shizuka was never afraid of blood or gore of any kind." Hijikata-san finished.

"The surgery was successful too." added Sannan-san. "This is why I suggested we bring her along with us to Kyoto. It's not just simple injuries that she's skilled at treating. She was serious when she told Serizawa that she was a surgeon."

"I always thought we brought her along because she was always the one treating our injuries…" Shinpachi-san said as he stared at me with new found respect.

"Well," I said, "I'm going to find Yuu-kun. You guy hurry up and go eat."

I got up from my spot and went to the main house, leaving the guys to their business. Yuu-kun more than likely ran crying to his mother. I was probably going to have to do some damage control on the situation. Living with a bunch of men that could kill easily should have been scary to civilians. The Roshigumi shouldn't have the people who were housing them be terrified of them.

When I found Yuu-kun, he was hugging his mother's leg. His face was buried in his mother's thigh and he had not stopped crying yet.

"Yuunosuke, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Masa-san said gently, trying to coax the information out of her crying son.

"I'm scared!" was all Yuu-kun kept telling his mother.

"Oh! Shizuka-san," Masa-san said when she noticed me, "do you know why Yuunosuke is so upset?"

"Well," I started, "it's because he saw blood on Saito-san and Shinpachi-san."

As soon as I mentioned the word "blood", Masa-san turned deathly pale. Her hand started to tremor almost uncontrollably.

"Did they kill someone?" she asked, terrified.

"No," I lied, "A few ronin picked a fight with them. Saito-san and Shinpachi-san only injured them enough for them to flee."

If the family of this household were terrified of us then we may lose their support. If we lost their support now, then who knew where we would go if we were tossed off of their estate. Ignorance is bliss. It would be better to keep the wife and son in the dark for now.

"I'm sorry that Yuu-kun had to see them cover in blood. I promise that won't happen again" I assured Masa-san.

Masa-san nodded in silence as I knelt down to Yuu-kun's height so I could look him in the face.

"Yuu-kun, I know it was scary for you, but I promise you that you won't ever have to see anyone covered in blood again." I pat his head gently, "Okay? So don't cry anymore."

The young boy sniffled before nodding his head. His crying began to slow down.

"That's a good boy. I'll make you a small treat later. How does yatsuhashi sound?" I offered.

Yuu-kun gave me a small teary smile and nodded again.

I pat his head again with a soft, good-natured laugh, "There, isn't it better to smile instead of cry?"

I stood up again and nodded once more at Masa-san before I left. I needed to get one of the guys to come with me to the market after lunch so I could buy the ingredients for the yatsuhashi. I was thankful that I had the foresight to start earning money early. Two of the ingredients, cinnamon and raw sugar, were still fairly expensive to purchase. Luckily, I could just ask Kyoko-chan for help. Her connections through out the city meant that she could get me a discount for pricey goods.

* * *

><p>"So why did you drag me out with you," Hijikata-san grumbled. I had grabbed him right after lunch and forced him to take me to the market for the ingredients. "I was busy and Souji would have been more than happy to take you."<p>

"Because you're always buried in paperwork and everyone needs a small break every once in awhile to relieve stress." I answered before throwing in a fun fact. "Did you know that the more stressed you are, the more suppressed your immune system is? When you're stressed, your body will release adrenocorticotropic hormones, which will stimulate the release of corticosteroid hormones. Corticosteroid hormones help the body deal stressors more effectively, but at the same time, depress your immune system. If you stay stressed for too long, it'll be very easy to get sick."

"… Where **do** you get all this information? Never mind, we're going to the market, right?"

"Yup! But first we need to pick up someone first." I said as I began to direct him towards Kyoko-chan's family's bank.

"Eh? A bank? What are we doing here?"

"To pick up someone who can get us a discount when we go shopping."

We both entered the bank and were greeted by Kyoko-chan's father. "Oh, Shizuka-chan. Back already? I thought you have gone home for the day."

I bowed politely, "Good afternoon, Wakahisa-san. Is Kyoko-chan in? I need to do some shopping and I need Kyoko-chan's help."

"Ah, Kyoko is in the back. Let me go get her for you." Wakahisa-san said before disappearing into the back of the building.

"Kyoko?" Hijikata-san asked me.

I beamed back at Hijikata-san, "A good friend."

As soon as I finished speaking, someone plowed into my side and hugged me tightly.

"Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan sang playfully. "So where are we going~?"

"Shopping." I said as Hijikata-san stood awkwardly to the side.

"Oh yay! Let's go!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed excitedly before dragging me out the bank and towards the market. "What do you need to get?"

"Some sugar and cinnamon." Hijikata-san answered for me.

Kyoko-chan comically froze be for she turned around and glared and Hijikata-san, who she had just noticed for the first time.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded with narrowed eyes. For someone so lady-like, Kyoko-chan could get pretty foul-mouthed and rude.

"What the hell was with that rude question?!" Hijikata-san fired back.

"Like you're one to say anything! You were rude right back! Let's see… good looking, long black hair, stick stuck up his ass… AH! You're Hijikata!"

"Stick stuck up my ass?" He asked, baffled. "Wait! What's that suppose to mean?!"

"Exactly what it sounds like!" Kyoko-chan pulled down one of her lower eyelids with a finger and stuck her tongue out at Hijikata-san.

Hijikata-san stared at Kyoko-chan with bewilderment before turning to me for an answer to my friend's behavior.

"The market's that way" I said cheerfully, purposefully ignoring Hijikata-san's questioning glance.

Despite how those two meet in the beginning, they actually got along very well by the time we had finished shopping.

* * *

><p>I don't want to study any more. X_X<p>

And in case if any one is wondering about the stress fun fact, it is true. This is why so many people get sick right after finals.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  
>― Anonymous, <em>Holy Bible: New International Version<em>

The coast was clear. Now all I had to do was make a mad dash for the front gates. Hijikata-san was serious about no one leaving headquarters alone last time and it was completely impossible to leave headquarters alone unless I snuck out. I had tried my original plan to leave with Ibuki-kun on his daily shopping choir the other day, but it failed in so many ways. The first reason the plan failed was because Ikubi-kun had absolutely no combative skills. Hijikata-san caught me trying to leave with Ibuki-kun and refused to let me leave, seeing that Ibuki-kun would be dead weight if a fight broke out. The second reason was all Souji's fault. Souji appeared while I was arguing with Hijikata-san over having Ibuki-kun as my only escort out. Souji caught on to what the argument was about and gave Ibuki-kun the evil-eye. Poor Ibuki-kun was so terrified that he bolted out the gate. Because he left so quickly, I was left without a way out of the compound. I was stuck inside that whole day.

_Ready set go— _"I hope you aren't thinking of leaving by yourself. That would be highly unwise." came Sannan-san voice.

Of all the people I had to be caught by. I could take Hijikata-san's scolding, but Sannan-san was just terrifying. Suddenly, running for the front gate, never seemed so appealing.

"Well… umm…." I broke out in cold sweat as I struggled to answer.

"Yes?" Sannan-san crossed his arms. His glasses glinted in the morning sun, giving him a more intimating feel.

"Shizuka-chan, Sannan-san?" Heisuke asked as he casually strolled by. Yes! I was never so thankful that Heisuke appeared at that moment. "What are you guys doing?"

"T-there you are, Heisuke!" I nervously called out to him. "Why did you take so long? Let's go already!"

I grabbed Heisuke by the arm and dragged him outside with me. I was planning out going out alone, but anything to get away from Sannan-san. If I stayed there and waited for the punishment that Sannan-san had, without a doubt, planned for me… no I wasn't going to think about it. Now I just had to find some way to ditch Heisuke along the way.

"Whoa! W-wait! Where are we going?" Heisuke exclaimed in surprise as soon as I dragged him off.

"I just wanted to get away from Sannan-san." I replied honestly. "I wasn't going to wait around for him to decide my punishment for trying to sneak out."

"You were trying to sneak out again? And did you just make me your accomplice?!"

"Not really. It only counts as sneaking out if I go out by myself. As long as one of you guys come with, then it's okay."

"So I won't get in trouble for this?"

"No, but you will when I ditch you."

"When you ditch me? Shizuka-chan!"

That situation with Sannan-san was just too stressful and energy sapping. I didn't even have the energy to lie anymore. _Now if I make a run for it now, I can safety lose Heisuke in the crowd and meet up with Kyoko—_

"There you are Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan broke free from the crowds and ran up to meet me.

I hung my head in defeat. There was no way to ditch Heisuke now that Kyoko-chan was here. Just why the hell was I so damn unlucky today? I swear Sannan-san must secretly be a black cat.

"Wow… so pretty…" Heisuke voiced his thoughts in a breathy tone when he saw Kyoko-chan.

"You were taking longer than normal, so I left our meeting spot to look for you." Kyoko-chan told me before looking at Heisuke. "Oh! Another one of the guys you live with!"

"Eh?" Heisuke quickly snapped to attention when he realized Kyoko-chan was looking at him. "Oh! My name is—"

"Wait! Don't tell me! I want to guess!" she interrupted with her hand in a stop gesture in front of Heisuke's face. "Lemme see… Nope! Shizuka-chan never described you to me whenever we talked about guys."

"Wait, what?" Heisuke was unhappy at the unfair treatment. "Why didn't you talk about me when you mentioned the other guys?"

"Do you want the truth or an unbelievable, elaborate lie I just made up on the spot?" I asked.

"Hey! I was being serious!" Heisuke complained. So was I.

"The truth please." Kyoko-chan answered.

"I forgot about Heisuke." I answered bluntly. I had a senior moment of epic proportions.

"Haah?! How the hell do you forget about me! You're always getting me into trouble, but you forgot about me?!" Heisuke yelled while looking cheated. "Forget it! I'm going home!" He said while he stomping back to the compound. _Oops. I'll make it up to him later. On the bright side, I don't have to find a way to ditch him now._

Kyoko-chan raised her eyebrow at me and my forgetfulness. "He seems rather upset. Are you sure that he'll be okay?"

"I'll just cook an extra dish for him for lunch to make up for it. He won't mind so much then." I explained. "So, by the way, I won't be able to meet you alone now unless I sneak out. The guys are overprotective and don't want me going out by myself now."

"I don't mind. Yay! More eye candy!"

"Aren't you already engaged?"

"That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view. And plus, Kenji is a childhood friend too. He already knows I like eye candy." She said nonchalantly before becoming serious. "But if you can't leave the guys behind, won't they find out about your plan to remove Serizawa?"

Kyoko-chan was the only one that knew about my plan I hatched to remove Serizawa. Since she wasn't a part of the Roshigumi, Serizawa wouldn't be able to target Kyoko-chan without coming under heavy fire. Kyoko-chan was also the one with all the connections in this city. She would be in charge in destroying Serizawa's reputation and building up Father's reputation once the Roshigumi obtained sponsorship from clan Aizu. She would spread gossip and rumors when the time came. However, the process would be slower than I would like. The lack of social media would make it much slower than it would be in the future, but it would get done. Her connections would ensure that word of Serizawa's destroyed reputation would reach officials of Kyoto. Serizawa's time as a head of the Roshigumi was limited. I was really glad I met Kyoko-chan; she was really the one making my plan feasible by pulling the strings of the community.

"Well, I'll deal with the problem when it comes time to cross the bridge." I sighed. "So what's going on in the city right now? Have any new patients for me to treat today?"

"Oh yeah! I have some great news actually. There was word flying around in the upper social circles. Clan Aizu has decided that they would sponsor the Roshigumi! The Roshigumi will be used as a type of special police force to deal with ronin."

"Really?!" This was the moment I was waiting for. It was almost time to tighten the hangman's noose.

"Yup! Your dad will probably announce the news to the men this afternoon. As for possible patients… a maiko fell down the stairs and broke her arm; the wife of dango store owner burned her hand pretty seriously; and Maki-san was diagnosed with tuberculosis."

"Tuberculosis?" I repeated.

Tuberculosis was a curious disease. Back before modern times, TB was know as the incurable disease and was highly contagious. Because people diagnosed always died from TB, an extremely negative stigma was given people who caught the disease. But in the future, TB was treatable. If the treatment plan was followed to the dot, then it was very possible to kill off all the TB causing bacteria in the lungs. While treating respiratory issues was not my specialty, seeing as I was a trauma surgeon, I did come across a rare case of TB during my internship back in my previous life. The standard treatment for the disease was not too difficult, but creating the drugs needed for the treatment during this time period would be difficult. I would have to find a way to get my hands on some isoniazid, rifampin, ethambutol, and pyrazinamide. But even though those drugs were used to treat a life threatening disease, they weren't 100% good for the body either. Each of these drugs caused some pretty nasty side effects just by themselves and when using all the drugs together to treat TB, the patient could feel the combination of all the side effects.

"You can't be serious?!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed when she saw the face I was making while thinking. "I know that you're a great physician, but even you can't cure tuberculosis! That disease is incurable!"

"I like a good challenge. But tuberculosis can be cured." I seriously said. "Tuberculosis is caused by malignant bacteria in the lungs. I know of drugs that can kill off the bacterial infections."

Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Seriously?!"

"Yeah, but I would have to synthesize the drugs myself and all the materials and supplies needed are difficult to obtain."

Kyoko-chan grinned and took what I said as a challenge. "Difficult to obtain? Leave everything to me! If Shizuka-chan says she can cure tuberculosis then I can get everything you need!"

I smiled back, her enthusiasm was always contagious. "But for now, let's look at the other two people I can help now."

* * *

><p>Every single person in the Roshigumi was seated in the main hall of the Yagi house. Every person looked ahead eagerly, wondering what news the leaders had wanted to announce to everyone. I sat in the back corner of the room, seeing as I wasn't officially considered an actual member of the Roshigumi. Men and their male chauvinistic beliefs.<p>

"Everyone, listen up!" Father began, gaining everyone's attention. "We just received a letter from Lord Aizu, the Kyoto Military Commissioner. He is going to officially place us under his charge."

Everyone cheered all at once at the news. The long waiting period was over and the Roshigumi was allowed to stay in Kyoto. The answer from clan Aizu could not have been any better. I could hear parts of conversations that the men started up from the good news in my corner.

"Sweet! Now we can go all-out on our patrols!"

"Man, this is great!"

"Looks like we're gonna be getting' busy."

"My, isn't this wonderful news?"

"Yeah, it's great that Lord Aizu acknowledged our ability!"

Yup, everyone was really cheerful. But I have to say that my mood soured quite quickly when I heard Niimi speak up.

"It's amazing how Serizawa-sensei swayed the Shogunate!" Niimi praised Serizawa. "Isn't it. Tonouchi-kun?" This man was a complete suck up and not only was he a complete suck up, but he was terrible at flattering people.

The man named Tonouchi sat on Niimi's right side and he was also one of Serizawa's men. I never like neither of those men. Both of them just felt so slimy and gross to be around. I may not like Serizawa, but it was amazing how he could stand to have those two around.

"Indeed!" Tonouchi answered Niimi's question.

"You're over reacting." Serizawa said while looking pleased at having his ego stroked.

"Not at all!" Niimi replied. "Remember what they said? He said that he was willing to grant us permission to remain in Kyoto with you standing at the center of my corps!"

"The results would have been different without you, Serizawa-dono!" Tonouchi added.

Sour expressions appeared on Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's faces. Looks like all three of us had the same exact feelings about those words.

"Well then, let's drink to our success at Shimabara." Serizawa said before standing up and calling out to Shinpachi-san, who was preparing to leave the room like the other men. "Nagakura-kun, come join us."

"Eh?" Shinpachi-san turned to face Serizawa while trying to find a way out of the invitation. "N-nah it would hurt your name if a good-fer-nothin' like me were seen with you."

Poor Shinpachi-san. Serizawa had taken a liking to Shinpachi-san since they were from the same school of kenjutsu and because they were both technically of the samurai class. Shinpachi-san always tried to avoid Serizawa but failed miserably at it. He would always get dragged out drinking with Serizawa and then he would always be forced to act as Serizawa's tranquilizer if a situation got out of hand. I didn't envy Shinpachi-san at all.

"My name is not so fragile that you could damage it by acting somewhat rowdy." Serizawa pushed. Serizawa's name may not be so fragile now, but that would change in time.

"In-in that case, uh… Heisuke and Sano are coming!" said Shinpachi-san as Sano-san and Heisuke walked by. Both men stopped walking at the mention of their names and made faces at Shinpachi-san's suggestion. "The more the merrier and all! Souji, Saito, you're comin' too? Right?" Shinpachi-san added.

Both said men also stopped walking and stared at Shinpachi-san. I guess what they say about misery was true: misery loves company.

"Kondou-kun, naturally you will come join me as well." Serizawa said to Father as he tried to add more people in his celebration.

Father, who was speaking to Hijikata-san at that moment, turned to face Serizawa.

"Well… This is a bit embarrassing, but I abstain from alcohol." Father said good-naturedly.

"What, you can't drink?" Niimi's question was more of a taunt if anything. "Isn't that bad for a warrior that speaks of politics?"

"Please go out and enjoy yourselves." Father said with a smile, unfazed by Niimi's taunt.

"Hmph," Serizawa voiced before facing Ibuki-kun, who was also in the process of leaving the room. "What about you? I bet you haven't been to the red-light district, have you, Feral Dog?"

"There's no way—" Ibuki-kun started only to be stopped by Shinpachi-san grabbing and putting a hand over his mouth.

"Rynosuke said he's comin!" Shinpachi-san answered instead. Ibuki-kun struggled helplessly in Shinpachi-san's grasp.

Well, I'd leave the guys to go do their thing. Right now, I needed to focus on possible various methods used to synthesize the drugs needed to treat TB. If I could synthesize the drugs, then I could expand my treatment range and bring in more income.

* * *

><p>"What?!" I heard Hijikata-san's voice through the walls of my room, late at night, disturbing my focus on my research.<p>

Just what was there to yell so loudly about? There was almost no one in headquarters to yell at, seeing that everyone had gone out to Shimabara. It was probably more effective to get up to see what happened.

I left my research on the table of my room and headed to where Hijikata-san and Father were. Both men were sitting on the floor with Heisuke standing in front of them.

"Heisuke? Why are you back alone?" I asked. "Did something happen?"

"Serizawa's what happened." Hijikata-san answered with his eyes closed in frustration. "We need to go do some damage control. Shizuka, you're coming too. Apparently, Serizawa injured a maiko."

Seriously, that man was a plague on the earth he walked on. Couldn't he go one day without causing trouble for the rest of us?

"Was she badly injured?" I asked Heisuke.

"Not from what I could see." said Heisuke." Serizawa-san threw a sake cup at her face."

Ah… so it was the face. Maiko and geisha needed to keep their faces pristine for business. I better go and make sure there was no lasting damage.

"Heisuke can take me to the maiko." I told Hijikata-san. "I'll meet up with you and Father after I'm done."

The injury the maiko had was nothing serious, just a small bump. Apparently, she received it because she spoke back to Serizawa. I applaud her bravery but questioned her course of action. She clearly couldn't defend herself if Serizawa had decided to beat her. She was very lucky that the guys were there to diffuse the situation. As I headed towards the room Hijikata-san and Father were in at Sumiya in the red-light district, Serizawa and Niimi walked pass me. They must have left Father and Hijikata-san to deal with the mess that they created. I walked in the room as Hijikata-san punched the floor. Souji was, strangely, still in the room, unlike the other guys.

"He does whatever he wants!" Hijikata-san yelled angrily while glaring at the floor. "We're no different than those rogue samurai!"

Souji just sat in the same place while staring down at the tray in front of him while Hijikata-san seethed. Why wasn't he responding to Hijikata-san's actions? Souji always had something to say when Hijikata-san did something. Serizawa must have said or done something to him.

I kneeled next to him and gently laid my hand on his shoulder. "Souji?"

There was no response. That bastard **must** have done something to him.

"Souji, talk to me." I pleaded. "What happened?"

He remained silent for a while longer before he turned to look at me in the eyes with great intensity.

"Shizuka, do you think of me as a child?" his gaze demanded an answer. _What did Serizawa say to him?_

"What happened?" I asked.

"Answer my question."

I have never seen Souji behave like this before. Just what exactly happened here? What did Serizawa say to him?

"I see…" Souji looked away as he took my silence as the wrong answer. He got up and exited the room. "I heading back." he called back.

"Souji, wait!"

He stopped walking for a few seconds when he heard me before continuing. I moved to go after him, but stopped when Hijikata-san spoke.

"Shizuka, how was the maiko?" he asked. Hijikata-san and Father were so wrapped up in damage control that they had missed the entire exchange between Souji and me.

"She's fine. All she has is a small bump on her forehead." I answered in a hurry. I had to catch up to Souji. There was no way I was going to leave him alone like this. "I'm going back now." I called back as I ran out the door. Souji was already no where in sight by the time I got to the streets.

"Shizuka? Oh, how was that maiko?" Sano-san asked me. He was standing by the entrance of Sumiya with Ibuki-kun. "Shizuka? What's with that worried face? Did something happen?" he asked when I ignored him and continued to search the streets with my eyes for Souji.

"What did Serizawa say to Souji?" I demanded when it became clear that Souji was no longer in Shimabara.

Sano-san looked away from my gaze, "It's not my place to say."

He was not going to get away with that answer. "I don't care if it isn't your place to say. **Tell** **me**."

All Sano-san did was shake his head at me. Fine then, let's kick this up another level.

"If you don't tell me right now then I **will** put a laxative in **all** the food you eat and you will never be able to remember a day you did not have severe diarrhea." Sano-san turned pale at my threat. "**Tell me what I want to know right now.**"

"Whoa there! No need to follow through with that threat!" He sighed in defeat before continuing, "Souji threatened to cut Serizawa-san down, but Serizawa-san didn't take that threat seriously. He said that Souji was a 'snot-nosed brat' and that you viewed him as a child that needed to be taken care of."

_What?! How dare Serizawa put words in my mouth? He is not me nor does he hold any privy to my thoughts. Souji is defiantly no child. If anything, Souji was the one that was always taking care of me and my mental breakdowns back when we were kids._

"Shizuka?!" Sano-san yelled after me as I turned and ran back to headquarters. I refuse to let Serizawa destroy my most precious relationship.

I got back to the Yagi house in record time, but it still felt like it was not soon enough. I rushed to Souji's room without stopping to catch my breath, my personal needs could wait. The door to Souji's room was shut and the room was dark, but I knew Souji was inside. I slipped in the room without permission and closed the door again for privacy. Souji was lying on his side on the floor as he stared at the wall, his back was facing me. I went and kneeled behind him. I ran my hand down his arm to get his attention.

"I want to be alone right now." was all he said. He didn't even look at me.

I wasn't going to give up. I refused to let Souji push me away without telling me why.

"I heard from Sano-san what Serizawa said—"

Souji sat up quickly, interrupting me. He glared at me with venom I had never received from him before.

"You've always thought of me as a pitiful child, haven't you?!" He spat out at me. I could feel my eyes widening from shock. "You've always pitied me from the beginning, right?! You've lied to me ever since the beginning! I thought you were like Kondou-san, someone that never lied to me and treated me kindly because of the kindness in your own heart! I thought you were someone I could trust in this rotten world! You never really cared for me and just pitied me! Get out!"

Tears started to well up in my eyes. No matter what a person has gone through, rejection of this magnitude always stung. Did Serizawa really make him think this or was this something that Souji had always thought and carried with him? Did he never really come to trust me like I had come to trust him? What he said had really hurt. Emotional pain had always hurt more than physical pain. I honestly rather be gutted again instead feel this emotional pain. How is it that he could worm his way into my life the way he did, then turn around and say that I didn't really care for him? If he would really be happier if I removed myself his life, then I would do so. His happiness was worth a thousand times more to me than my own, but I wasn't going to leave without correcting his assumptions first.

I looked him in eye as I answered so that he could see that I wasn't lying. "I never pitied you and I have never lied to you. I may have withheld information, but I have never once lied to you. I always tried to make sure you were happy because it physically hurt me when you were upset. I did this because I really did care for you. You knew me better than Father did and I trusted you the most because of it. You are the most precious person to me and because of you are my most precious person; I will remove myself from your life if you wish it."

I buried my face into my hands after I finished speaking to keep the tears from dripping to the floor. I haven't shed tears any in years. I hated my tears. Because my face was in my hands, I did not see the look of venom on Souji's face become one of horror.

I got up to and walked towards the door to leave. If Souji did not want me around anymore, then I had no reason to spend more time with him.

"Shizuka! Wait!"

No, I didn't need to stay around him any longer. I had gotten his message and he didn't need to repeat himself. As I reached for the door, I was pulled backwards into a tight embrace. A face was buried into the back of my neck.

"No…" came Souji's sorrowed laced voice, "don't leave me… You can hate me for what I said, but don't leave me…" I could feel a few drops of tears slip down my back. "I didn't mean what I said… I can take it if you hate me… but I won't be able to take it if you leave me."

I turned in his embrace to hug him back. His face was now on my shoulder.

"I'll only leave if you want me to. If you want me to stay, then I will." I said gently to let him know that I did not hate him.

Souji had refused to let go of me for the rest of the night, even when it was time to sleep. He held on to me so tightly in his sleep that even if I tried to leave, I wouldn't have been able to.

* * *

><p>Yay! I only have one more midterm left to take on Saturday. I typed another chapter up to celebrate. How many people noticed I left out Heisuke in the last chapter when Shizuka was describing her relationships to Kyoko?<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."

― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

It was the hour of the tiger so it was time to get out of bed and start cooking breakfast, but I had a slight problem… Souji's incredibly tight grip on me had not loosened over night and it was impossible to get up without waking him up. He was tired from the emotional conflict that had happened between us last night. I definitely didn't want to wake him up and disturb his rest, especially because I always woke up an hour earlier than everyone else. After a couple of minutes of struggling to get loose, I gave up and decided I had to wake him up to get loose.

"Souji." I softly called his name while rubbing his side gently. I believe most people preferred the gentle wake-up-calls over the loud and abrupt ones, I know I certainly did. There was a reason I once threw my alarm clock, in my past life, against the wall when it wouldn't shut up.

"Mmm," Souji stirred before opening his eyes sleepily. "Shizuka? What is it?" he murmured, "It's still dark out."

"I need you to let go now." I told him softly as I stop rubbing his side and rested my hand on his hip. "I have to get up now if breakfast is to be finished by the time everyone gets out of bed."

My words had the opposite effect of what I wanted. All Souji did was tighten his hold on me while looking disappointed.

"Can't everyone just make their own breakfast today?" he seriously asked. "Stay here with me until it's time for me to get out of bed."

I couldn't stop the small smile that formed on my lips at Souji's request. He was just so… I thought his behavior was pretty cute. It felt nice to feel needed by someone.

"I can't," I said as I nuzzled his chest affectionately, "I know everyone prefers to have nice hot breakfast waiting for them once the wake up. Besides, if there's no food then Hijikata-san will assume that I snuck out early in the morning again and will follow me nonstop for three days, like he did before."

"Tsk! Stupid Hijikata-san!" muttered Souji as his hold loosened. "If Shizuka's getting up now, then I will too."

"You don't have to get up now," I said as I got out of his futon and stood up. "I know you usually sleep a little longer."

Souji got out of his futon too, regardless of what I said. He placed both his hand on my hips from behind and looked at my face from over my shoulder. He had a soft, unreadable expression on his face when his eyes found mine.

"I want too. It's been a long time since we've been able to spend some time like this together."

What he said was true; it had been a long time. With all the time I spent running around outside, I haven't been spending much time with him lately. Other than the constant presence of Serizawa, it was no wonder he was so moody now a days. Then, when Kyoko-chan was thrown into the equation, Souji must have thought he was being replaced in my life. He must have been terribly upset this whole time and has probably come to think of Kyoko-chan and mine relationship to be like Father's and Hijikata-san's relationship. He didn't want to be the third wheel.

"Okay," I kissed his cheek. "Why don't you come with me today when I head out?"

Souji's whole mood brightened up immediately at my invitation. After all this time, I was finally asking him to come out with me on my mysterious daily rounds. He planted a quick, chaste kiss on my lips before he released me. That was a bit weird. He was always affectionate towards me, but never before had I received any kisses from him before. Well, I wasn't going to worry about it. I sure he was just happy to finally be allowed to come with me.

"Why don't you go ahead and start on breakfast first." Souji suggested. "I'll be there to help you as soon as I finish my morning routine. Unless…" he gained a mischievous grin, "you want to help me dress first."

Well now, someone was playful this morning. I think I will just play along with his little game right now.

"I don't mind." I said playfully but honestly as I spun in his grip so that I was facing him,

"W-wait, what?" he turned red and looked away in embarrassment. _Did I go too far? Was I not supposed to play along?_

"Eh? Are you okay, Souji?" I asked with concern. "I was only playing along. Did I make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." he said as he quickly walked me to the door before gently pushing me out. "I see you in the kitchen in a bit." And the door was shut.

_That was a little bit strange… Did he not want me to see him so embarrassed? _I pondered as I headed towards the well to wash up first before going to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"So you're going to introduce me to this Kyoko today?" Souji asked a bit sourly. When I mentioned that we were going to meet up with Kyoko-chan, he looked none too pleased.<p>

"Yup!" I said cheerfully. "Don't make that face. I know you'll like her."

"Really?" he asked with complete lackluster.

I nodded before I spotted Kyoko-chan in our usual meeting spot. "Oh, there she is!" I pointed. I grabbed Souji's hand and pulled him with me as I ran up to Kyoko-chan.

When Kyoko-chan saw me, she jumped up from the bench and slammed into me with a hug. I dropped Souji's hand to keep myself from toppling over at the force she ran at me with.

"Shizuka-chan~!" she exclaimed. "What took so long~?"

Before I could answer, Souji grabbed Kyoko-chan's arm and began to pry her off of me. Displeasure at Kyoko-chan's close physical contact with me was clearly written all over his face.

"You're in her personal space." he said with narrowed eyes. He was a hypocrite, seeing that he always liked keeping me within arms reach.

"Hey!" Kyoko-chan protested at the forced removal. "Just what do you think your—" she started before she got a closer look at Souji. She broke out in an sly grin. "Oh! I know you! You're Okita Souji!"

Hmm… I definitely didn't like the grin plastered on Kyoko-chan's face. She was planning something. Now the question would be what?

"I'm flattered that you know who I am." Souji said flatly.

Kyoko-chan's grin became almost impossibly wider at the affirmation before she turned to me.

"Shizuka-chan, go over to that shopkeeper to ask him something for me." she said.

"Ask him what?"

"Something."

"What is this 'something'?"

"Umm… Ask him about his dishware."

"He's clearly selling ink sticks. You want to speak to Souji alone, don't you? All you have to do is say so. Just what are you planning?"

"What makes you think I'm planning anything?" she asked too innocently.

"You always have that glint in your eyes when you're planning something." I retorted.

"Oh, I guess I'll have to fix that… Why are you still here? Go ask that shopkeeper already!"

"What are you planning?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You just told me in your previous statement!"

"No I didn't." she denied.

This argument was going nowhere. Fine, if she really wanted me to, then I'll go talk to the shopkeeper and give those two some space. But there's no way I'm going to ask the shopkeeper about dishware. I wasn't going to let myself look **that** stupid.

"Fine," I sighed, "I'll go."

Kyoko-chan looked pleased at her victory while Souji merely raised his eyebrow at our whole exchange. Yeah, I'll bet that was strange to watch.

"Excuse me…" I said as I walked over to the shopkeeper to begin our conversation.

After several long minutes of conversation with the shopkeeper, who saw it fit to tell me about his whole family's history and how they got into the ink manufacturing business, I returned where both Souji and Kyoko-chan were.

"I hope you two are done. I just had a very long and fascinating conversation about ink with an over enthusiastic merchant." I said sarcastically.

"Huh? We weren't talking about anything." Just how dense did Kyoko-chan think I was?

"Right… Shall we get going?" I asked.

Just as I finished speaking, Kyoko-chan let out a loud, fake sounding groan and hunched over while clutching her lower abdomen.

"Oh no!" she cried over exaggeratedly, "I have period cramps. I can't go with you guys. It hurts too much! I'm gonna go home to rest. You two go out together."

She was totally faking it, and not only that, she was a terrible actor.

"Really?" My tone should have been enough to let her know that I didn't believe her.

"I'm gonna go. Have fun you two." she said over her faked pain as she started to hobble back home.

"Kyoko-chan?"

"I'm in soo much pain!" she yelled back at me.

Before she vanished into the crowd, she turned around and gave Souji a thumb's up and a wink, **while I could still see her**. She then straightened up and skipped into the crowd, unhindered by her "pain". Just who did she think she's trying to fool? A blind man?

"Interesting friend you have there." Souji said as we both stared at the spot where Kyoko-chan vanished.

"… I don't even know how to answer you." I said while I was still flabbergasted at my friend's behavior.

"But, you know," Souji began as he looked down at me, "you were right. I do like her."

I beamed back at him and grabbed his hand again. "Since Kyoko-chan's not here, why don't just of the both of us go explore the city?"

He smiled softly back at me, "Okay. Where do want to go?"

"Can we go look at some hair ornaments?"

Ever since arriving in Kyoto, I became painfully aware of how plain my appearance was. All the women had these beautiful hair pins in their elegant hairstyles while my hair was always just twisted in a simple bun. So, I was being a little vain, but I think I'm allowed to after looking at all the other women everyday. The women in this city also wore very feminine kimonos while I wore a hakama. Granted the hakama I wore was very beautiful and womanly, as Tsune-san did design it with me in mind, I couldn't help but feel somewhat lacking as a woman. A simple hair pin should be enough for me to feel more elegant.

"Alright." Souji said before leading me to the stalls.

After browsing the stalls in the center market place for a few hours, we both came across a stall that sold nothing but kanzashi. Souji stopped walking before he turned around to grin at me.

"Come here." he said as he tugged on my hand.

He plucked a single crimson kanzashi from the table. This was not the hair ornament I had in mind. It was an expensive looking tsumami kanzashi folded from silk. There were three flowers folded from red and white silk on top of a single brass prong. From each flower, there were two strands of folded red and white petals dangling from the attachment point on the flowers. It was gorgeous, expensive, and something I could never dream of holding, let alone, wear in my hair.

"Oh! You have good taste there, sir!" the shopkeeper exclaimed in the background.

Souji released my hand and went to put his, now free, hand under my chin. He raised my head to the appropriate height before he inserted the kanzashi in the space between my hair bun and my head.

"Beautiful." Souji said with a soft smile while laying his hand on my cheek.

"It does look good indeed." added the shopkeeper. "Why don't you have a look? I have a looking glass here."

Souji lowered his hand as I moved to get a look at myself in the mirror. I looked extremely lady-like and elegant with the kanzashi in my hair. I felt like it made a world of a difference from my usual appearance, but it was probably too expensive.

"Do you like it?" asked Souji.

"Yes, but—"

"How much?" Souji interrupted as he asked the shopkeeper for the price.

"Two ryo." the shopkeeper replied while smiling pleasantly.

Holy crap! That was freakishly expensive for a single hair ornament. A single ryo was equivalent to about 3000 to 4000 yen in modern day Japan and if it was converted to USD then the kanzashi would be worth anywhere from $53.42 to $71.23. This man was selling some overpriced goods!

My eye popped out of my skull as Souji reached for his coin purse and pulled out the needed amount to pay for the kanzashi. I grabbed his arm before he could hand the money over. I couldn't let him pay for my things, especially for something so expensive. I know that he didn't have much money to begin with and he shouldn't have to spending it on me.

"Wait!" I quickly said. "It's too expensive! And I can't let you pay for me! You should be spending your money on yourself and not me."

"If it's my money, then shouldn't I be the one to decide how to spend it?" Damn, he got me there.

"But—"

"Don't worry about it. Think of it as a present and if you still feel guilty about it, then wear it every day for me. Okay?"

"Okay…" I submitted and let go of his arm so he could pay. I couldn't refuse his gift. "But I'm treating you to lunch right afterwards."

"Eh?" he said after he finished paying the man. "You already cook for me everyday. There's no need for you to treat me."

I pulled him towards the restaurants on the other side of the streets.

"I cook for everyone. This time, I'm only treating you!"

"Only me, huh… So you're going to let everyone fend for themselves for today's lunch?"

"They can survive one meal without me cooking. So what do you want to eat today?"

"I prefer your cooking, but if Shizuka insists. Well let's see…" he pondered

* * *

><p>The sun was starting to set as we started walking back to the Yagi house. Today was fun and I couldn't remember the last time a spent the whole day with Souji. It was nice not to have spent my day working for money for my Serizawa Removal Plan. I didn't get to tell Kyoko-chan about it being time to start the second part of the plan today because of the stunt she pulled earlier this morning, but that could wait for another day. I just have to remember to say thanks to her the next time I met up with her. As Souji and I began to cross a bridge near headquarters, I stopped and stared at the river below.<p>

"Shizuka?" Souji called when I stopped.

"The river…" I started while feeling sentimental, "if it weren't for that river then I would have never met you or Father or everyone else."

"Yeah…" Souji moved to stand by my side. "I've been meaning to ask you… Why didn't hate me after what I said last night?"

I turned to look Souji in the face. His face possessed a hit of worry that he was unable to hide away. My reaction to his emotional outburst from the night before was somewhat unbelievable to him. He was worried that I might be hiding some resentment towards him and was fearful that I would leave him like so many others before.

"Souji, it doesn't matter to me what you do or how you treat me. I could never hate you. You were always there for me when I was going through some troubled times, so wouldn't it make sense that I would be there for you? I never forget an act of kindness. Beside, we're partners, right?"

Souji's worry vanished and he kissed my forehead. "Let's head back. We've been out long enough."

* * *

><p>"HAH! There you guy are!" Shinpachi-san yelled loudly while pointing at us. Everyone, minus Father, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san, was gathered in the courtyard; even Ibuki-kun was there. "Because Shizuka-chan wasn't there, we had nothing but tofu for lunch!" Shinpachi-san complained<p>

"Shinpachi, there is nothing wrong with tofu. It is healthy for the body and a staple food." Saito-san defended. I'm willing to bet that Saito-san cooked lunch today while I was with Souji.

"Oh? That's a pretty kanzashi you have there." Sano-san said when he noticed my new hair ornament before slyly glancing over at Souji. "Did Souji buy that for you?"

"Yeah," I answered happily before voicing my question. "Why is everyone gathered here right now? Did something happen?" If everyone was gathered in one spot then something must have occurred while Souji and I were out.

"Hijikata-san and the others wrote some rules for everyone to follow while you guys were out." said Heisuke.

"Rules?" asked Souji.

"One: Do not deviate from the Ways of the Warrior." Saitou-san started listing off the rules. "Two: Desertion will not be tolerated. Three: Do not raise money without authorization. Four: Do not manage another's litigation without authorization. Five: Personal duels will not be tolerated. Whosoever breaks any of the rules listed must commit honorable suicide."

That was an incredibly strict set of rules for the Roshigumi. That third rule… I was never so glad I was not considered to be officially a part of the Roshigumi. The rules didn't technically apply to me, but for the other guys…

"Dang, those rules are stupid!" Shinpachi-san grumbled unhappily after Saito-san had finished listing them. "What the hell were they thinking?"

"Those rules of conduct were definitely too strict." Sano-san agreed.

"If Kondou-san feels those rules are necessary, I will obey them." Souji said as he took the new rules in stride.

Heisuke, who was doodling on the floor, replied to Souji's response. "That goes for me too… But I don't like my friends getting tied down by those rules…" Heisuke was not taking the new rules very well.

"We will probably need it for the new recruits we will be getting henceforth." Saito-san spoke up as the voice of reason.

"I know…" said Heisuke, "But it's kind of different from what I imagined…"

Ibuki-kun, who was just standing off to the side, looked panicked, like he knew he barely dodged a bullet. He jumped when Souji spoke to him.

"You should probably be careful yourself." Souji warned.

"It's not like I'm a member of the Roshigumi!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed loudly.

"But if Serizawa had to commit seppuku, then as his indentured servant, you would probably have to too." I spoke up.

Ibuki-kun's eyes widened in realization before yelling, "I'm leaving before I get caught up in any of this crap!"

"Time to cook dinner." I said abruptly to change the topic. The mood was getting a bit too depressing too fast.

* * *

><p>Heisuke raised his empty rice bowl in the air to signify that he wanted seconds. Ibuki-kun walked over to where Heisuke was sitting and Heisuke cheerfully placed the empty bowl on Ibuki-kun's tray.<p>

"Pile it on!" Heisuke said to Ibuki-kun.

"You got it." Ibuki-kun responded to the demand for more rice.

"The fragrance of this house is superb." Saito-san suddenly said, drawing both Heisuke and Ibuki-kun attention. "When eating freshly cooked white rice while enjoying the aroma, its true value becomes evident. Nothing is more complex than the simple things in life."

"Huh…" Ibuki-kun said after listening to Saito-san's monolog

Meanwhile, taking advantage of the distraction, Shinpachi-san went ahead and stole more than half of Heisuke's sardine.

"WAH!" Heisuke yelled as Shinpachi-san swallowed the stolen portion. "Shinpat-san, what do you think you're doing?!"

"See, in our world the strong eat the weak." Shinpachi-san justified.

"In that case, I'll—" Heisuke exclaimed while attacking Shinpachi-san's food with chopsticks. The attack failed as Shinpachi-san blocked the strike with his own chopsticks. "Why, you! You—! You—!" Not being one to give up so easily, Heisuke continuously attacked but was blocked each time by Shinpachi-san. "Ryunosuke, don't let you're guard down! You better be careful!" Heisuke yelled as Ibuki-kun stared at the little food war.

"Take someone's food before they take yours!" Shinpachi-san proclaimed as he blocked another one of Heisuke's attempts to steal.

"Really?" Ibuki-kun asked before he made the fatal mistake of reaching for Saito-san's food.

Saito-san's chopsticks shot out towards Ibuki-kun's throat in an instant. Ibuki-kun had no time to react has he froze in place.

"If you need me for something, wait until after I'm done eating." Saito-san stated with narrowed eyes. "In the world of beasts, you have no right to complain if you get killed for disturbing a stronger animal's meal. Furthermore, this is one of my favorite dishes. Never go after it!" Saito-san finished with his glare becoming ten times scarier.

Scared shitless by Saito-san's sudden change in personality, Ibuki-kun fell backwards on his hind side and stuttered, "G-got it! M-my bad!"

Saito-san's glare vanished just as quickly as it appeared before he went back to eating his food calmly.

"You must not value your life." Sano-san said to Ibuki-kun offhandedly while eating a sardine. "Of all the people here, I can't believe you went after Saito's food. You should have just asked Shizuka for some of hers."

Ibuki-kun looked away and yelled, "I'm the type that eats his favorite food first!"

"No need to act like a tough guy all the time." I cut in. "All people get hungry. Come here after you refill Heisuke's bowl with rice, I prepared some extra food for you."

"Oh, so that's why you have so much food on your tray." Ibuki-kun voiced his thoughts before filling Heisuke's bowl. He moved over to me afterwards to receive his portion of dinner.

"What is this pickle?" Shinpachi-san picked up the green vegetable on his tray and asked after a moment of silence. "Weeds? Are they even edible?"

"That's called mibuna." Father answered. "Farmers put their sweat and blood into growing it, so don't be a picky eater.

"Yeah, yeah." Shinpachi-san mumbled as he stuffed the greens into his mouth. "Kondou-san is so stern about stuff like that since he used to be a farmer."

Surprised at that revelation, Ibuki-kun asked, "He wasn't born into the warrior class?"

"Nope. But since Father is so strong with a sword, the original master of Shieikan dojo adopted Father as his heir." I answered.

"Toshi," Father called out to Hijikata-san when he noticed Hijikata-san was staring of into space and not eating, "why don't you put work out of your mind while you're eating?"

"Huh? Yeah, I should…" Hijikata-san said before Father placed his sardine on Hijikata-san's plate. "What are you doing, Kondou-san?!"

"That wasn't enough, was it?" Father asked, referring to amount of food on Hijikata-san's tray. Ah, bromance at it's finest. "Eat up."

"But you still haven't eaten a single bite!" Hijikata-san pointed out.

All Father did was smile back at Hijikata-san before saying, "Back in our Shieikan days, you frequently shared your food with me."

"What brought this on? Knock it off! We're beyond such formalities, aren't we?"

"Oh, you're absolutely right!" Father said before laughing out loud.

"Jeez, you're unbelievable… No matter what the situation, you always place others before yourself"

"Do you remember that one time, Toshi?" Father began to launch into another conversation with Hijikata-san.

Souji, who was seated next to me put down his bowl and stared at the two men with envy. I put down my bowl to rub his thigh to try and calm him down, but my actions had no effect.

"Anyway, we're finally in service of the Aizu Domain!" Shinpachi-san started another side conversation.

"Couldn't we afford to upgrade our dinner?" Heisuke asked excitedly. "Well, Hijikata-san?"

"That will have to wait until they start paying us." Hijikata-san said with closed eyes as he put down his bowl.

_So the Aizu hadn't decided to pay the Roshigumi for their service yet?_ Why? Wasn't the Roshigumi now working for clan Aizu now?

Everyone quieted down and looked to Father for an answer. Father sighed before answering. "Well, they are probably uncertain as to whether or not we are worthy of their trust."

"Is that right…" said Heisuke before everyone continued to eat in silence.

Souji placed his chopsticks down on his empty bowl. "Thank you for the meal."

"Souji, that was fast." Father commented. Souji had been eating faster in the past few days so that he could spend more time in sword practice. It wasn't unusual to me, but I just wished that he would take better care of himself.

"I need to get in some sword practice. Right now every second counts." Souji replied before standing up to leave. As Souji was about to leave, Shinpachi-san spoke up.

"Practicing right after you eat is bad for your body."

Without turning around to face everyone, Souji said, "Shinpachi-san and Hajime-kun got lucky. I'm dying to slay a bunch of those rogue samurai."

I placed my chopsticks and bowl down on my tray. Of all the things he had to say during dinner. This wasn't going to end well, especially with Hijikata-san and Father both in the same room at the same time. All the other men made a small sound of shock at Souji's statement.

I knew that Souji had the urge to kill, but did he have to voice it now? I knew for some time now that Souji felt useless to Father because he lacked certain talents that Hijikata-san possessed that were useful to Father. Souji had now come to believe that the only way to become useful to Father was to use his talent with a sword to kill anyone in Father's way. Killing would be easy for him too; he held no value for human lives due to the bullying he had endured as a child. He wasn't innocent like Father or Hijikata-san had believed him to be, but I knew better. This wasn't the first time Souji wanted to kill. Back when he was force endured to beatings from the older students, Souji wanted to them for making him suffer. The urge to kill was nothing new.

"What a thing to say." Sano-san said while looking put off.

"Souji, haven't you been acting weird lately?" Heisuke worriedly asked.

"Souji, I want you to go back to Edo." Hijikata-san said seriously. **That** was the wrong thing to say. Souji was definitely going to snap now.

Souji froze in shock at Hijikata-san's words before breaking out in cold sweat. "That joke wasn't the least bit funny." Souji denied.

"Lately—"

"Shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about." I interrupted Hijikata-san while I giving him a serious look that very clearly said shut up, too.

"Shizuka, be quiet. Keep out of this." Hijikata-san told me pointedly before turning back to Souji. "Lately Serizawa-san's influence is making you go on about how you want to cut down people. You're still a kid. He's making you lose sight of yourself."

At that moment, Souji snapped. He grit his teeth and flared his nostrils before turning around to yell angrily at Hijikata-san. "Hijikata-san, you just think I'm in the way because I stick by Kondou-san, don't you?!"

"If that's what you'd like to think, then go ahead."

"Toshi, why did you suddenly bring this up?" Father asked.

"We're in Kyoto to defend the peace. But he wants to kill. That's all he thinks about. We can't let someone like that stay here!" Hijikata-san explained as Souji's glare intensified tenfold.

Father closed his eye before reopening them. "Souji—"

"No! There's no way I'm going back!" Souji yelled back uncontrollably. "I'm going to stay here and help you, Kondou-san!" He slammed the door open and took off running into the night.

"Souji!" Father called after him.

I stood up and yelled at Hijikata-san, "You think of Souji as a little brother, but you don't know how to properly handle with him!" Hijikata-san didn't understand how to deal with this situation at all. "I'm going after him!" I said before I ran after Souji.

"Wait! Shizu-chan!"

How did such a good day end like this?

* * *

><p>Yay! The midterms are dead! I spent 4 hours on Saturday morning writing the stupid essay for the essay question and I filled up 2 blue books. On the bright side, have another chapter. It'll be time to kill off Tonouchi in the next chapter.<p>

On the side, I have been asked how I know all the random facts I sticks in my chapters. Hours of research is done for each chapter. Now if I could just catch all my grammar errors before posting my chapters, that would be great.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything." ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why did Souji have to run so fast and why did my legs have to be so short? As soon as I exited the room that everyone was eating in, Souji was already out of sight. Deciding to forgo grabbing my naginata, seeing that I would have to run to my room to get it first, which would give Souji time to run even further, I left the estate unarmed. If I ran into trouble while unarmed, then it would be unfortunate. However, I doubted that I would run into trouble in Mibu village. There would be little chance Souji would run out of Mibu village and into the heart of the city if he wanted to be alone. Now the main problem was how would I catch up to Souji if he was no longer in sight?

Like most people when emotionally hurt, Souji would probably have run to a place that could offer comfort. One place would be where Father was, but Father was with Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san was the cause of this whole mess and Souji definitely wouldn't want to be anywhere near Hijikata-san right now. Souji also had not been socializing much with the people of Kyoto, except to play with the kids. There was no one he could run to outside of our Shieikan group, so he must have be somewhere he could be alone. The bridge! Souji must be at the bridge we stopped at on the way home. Few people would be within the radius of the bridge during this time and the bridge is where I told him I could never hate him. He may have associated my words with the location where they were spoken. I made a u-turn and sprinted for the bridge. After about five minutes of running, the bridge came into view. Souji was leaning forwards against the rail on his elbows near the center of the bridge as he stared aimlessly at the river below.

"Souji!" I called out to him as I ran to where he was standing.

"Shizuka?" he questioned. He did not expect me to find him so quickly.

When I reached where he was standing, he narrowed his eyes at the vacant spot where my weapon usually sat before grabbing my right upper arm.

"Why did you leave headquarters unarmed?! You know how dangerous it is in Kyoto, especially at night!" he scolded harshly. His hand on my right arm trembled slightly as he yelled at me.

"Because it would have taken more time if I went to go get it first!" I yelled back before finishing quietly, "I didn't want to leave you alone while you were suffering any longer than I had to."

His irritated expression was replaced by one of dismay at my words and he dropped his face on to my left shoulder. I wrapped my left arm around his shoulder and gently stroked the back of his head in an effort to calm him down.

"If you got hurt while looking for me…" he mumbled into my shoulder.

"I won't." I said softly, "I'm not helpless, even when I'm weaponless."

"I don't want to go back to Edo." he said without raising his head. It hurt to listen to the melancholy lacing his voice. "I want to stay here and help Kondou-san."

"I won't let anyone send you back." I soothed as I brushed his hair, "I promise you'll be able to stay here and help Father. I promise."

We stood, locked in the same embrace, for several more minutes before Souji was able to let go of my arm and raise his head again. While he did look better than he did a couple minutes back, he was still feeling raw. It would be best for him if we stayed out a bit longer

"You know, Hijikata-san didn't tell you to go back to Edo because he thinks you're in the way." I gently explained while looking Souji in the eye. "He thinks of you as his innocent little brother. He doesn't want to see you kill people."

Souji looked away from me when I mentioned Hijikata-san. He still didn't want to talk about Hijikata-san.

"And Father also thinks of you in the same way." I continued after I turned his face so that he was looking at me again. I wanted to make sure he understood both Hijikata-san and Father's reactions, along with the other guys. "The other guys are also worried about you and the amount you have been saying 'kill'. This is just how they show their concern."

"I never needed their concern!" Souji raised his voice slightly. "I was never innocent to begin with…"

"But they don't know that. This is why they're all so worried about you right now."

He sighed before he looked at me again. Both of his hands moved to my hips. "But Shizuka wasn't worried about the same thing. Shizuka was worried about me being alone instead."

"I knew from the very beginning that you weren't innocent. People don't go through what you've been through without losing their innocence. You may have been saying 'kill' a lot now, but the urge was never new, right? People don't get beaten daily throughout childhood without developing the desire to kill the tormentors."

"You remained at my side while knowing about my urges despite your hatred for killing…" he mumbled quietly, his hold tightening on me.

"It's true that I hate killing, but that does not mean I hate you." I said clearly. "When you care for someone, you don't love only for one part of that person. You love that person as a whole, along with all the faults."

Souji's face gained an unreadable expression as I continued speaking.

"I was more worried about you being alone because I know being alone brings up unwanted emotions. It reminds you of when your parents died and when your sister left you at Shieikan. The feeling of being unwanted, unneeded, is the most painful feeling in the world. I won't let you suffer alone."

As soon as I finished speaking, Souji's face came down on mine, his lips capturing mine in an emotional kiss.

_What? _I thought in shock. I had expected something along the lines of a hug, not… not this. Where did this kiss come from? I thought there were hints for these type of things.

This kiss wasn't like all the quick little pecks he had started giving me throughout the today or like that kiss from months ago when he caught me sneaking out. While I was probably as dense as Kyoko-chan said I was about romance, I did have enough experience from my past life to identify the nature of this kiss. It wasn't a kiss from someone that someone that had a simple crush. It wasn't a kiss from someone who felt simple attraction. This kiss very clearly held strong feelings. I froze when I realized the context of the kiss.

Souji was never someone who was able develop a crush on someone. He had been burned so many times by relationships in the past that he always barricaded himself off from others with jokes and humor. He was not like other people who could so freely bare themselves to others. But when he found someone that he could trust wholeheartedly, he gave his all. This kiss was not one of a simple crush, but one of true heartfelt emotion. Souji was not someone who easily revealed his true feelings. He must have held on to his feelings for awhile now before he acted on them. What was I supposed to do?

I knew the love one gives and receives from friends and families, but what was it like to be **in **love? I had never fallen in love before despite having been in relationships with other men in my past life. I knew for some time that the love I had for Souji was different from the other love I held for the people in my makeshift family, but I didn't know what made it so different. Was it because I had never trusted someone in the way I had trusted Souji? Was it because we were so close? I didn't know. But what I did know was that Souji was special to me. I would do anything just to see him happy. I would do anything to protect him. Would these things be what people did when they were in love? I don't know.

Souji had begun to pull away from the kiss when I did not respond. I didn't know how I was supposed to react. But if I had just let Souji pull away now without responding to the kiss in any way, he would regret the kiss. While I did not know what I felt towards him, I didn't want him to feel rejected. He had already been hurt by so many others in the past. I didn't want to become one of those people that hurt him, so I made my choice.

While it was stupid, foolish, and irresponsible to do when I did not understand my own feelings toward him, I cupped Souji's face before it got too far and brought his lips back towards mine. The result was instant. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed my body flat against his as he became more fervent in the kiss. When he finally pulled away for air, he pressed his forehead against mine instead of moving away.

"Shizuka…" he murmured before he moved in for another kiss. Unlike the first kiss he initiated, this time I kissed him back. We parted after that kiss ended.

He smiled gently down at me as he stroked the side of my face with his thumb.

"Let's go back now, okay?" I said while gently nudging him towards the compound.

"Okay."

Who knew where my choice to kiss him back would lead us? All I did know was that I cared for Souji too much to reject him. On our way back to headquarters, we ran into Father and Ibuki-kun who were both out looking for the both of us.

* * *

><p>"So, how was yesterday?" Kyoko-chan asked me excitedly. I had left the compound this afternoon with Sano-san and Shinpachi-san under the pretext that I needed to do some grocery shopping. I quickly ditched Sano-san and Shinpachi-san at a busy intersection and left to find Kyoko-chan.<p>

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Seriously?! You can't possibly be **that** dense!"

"I'm not. I'm just getting revenge on you for ditching me and Souji yesterday." I taunted gleefully.

"You—" she said as she whacked me on the shoulder playfully. "I knew something good happened! I see your new kanzashi. I'll find out what happened myself!"

"Well, back to a more serious matter." I said to steer us back on track. "It's time for phase two."

"Time to tear down Serizawa's reputation?"

"Yes. And if everything goes well today, I'll tell you about what happened last night."

"Last night?" she asked while looking at me suggestively. "Now I really am curious."

After a couple of hours of work and reputation breaking with Kyoko-chan, both of us relaxed on a bench while snacking on dango.

"If we give it a few weeks, then Serizawa's reputation should start decaying." Kyoko-chan said before swallowing her food. "Meanwhile, you can start bringing the money you've earned to Hijikata. The sooner Serizawa is rendered useless, the easier it'll be to remove him in the future."

"Okay, I can deliver the first set of 50 ryo to Hijikata-san to—"

"HAH! THERE YOU ARE!" A loud screech interrupted. Both Kyoko-chan and I looked toward the direction the yell came from and was greeted by a furious Hijikata-san stomping towards us.

As soon as Hijikata-san reached where I was sitting, he smashed his fist on to the top of my head.

"Ouch!" I cried when the fist connected.

I dropped my stick of dango at the impact. Kyoko-chan caught my stick before it fell to the ground and ate the remaining dango with a small satisfied burp at the end.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, running off like this all the time?!" he scolded.

"Do you have to hit my head every single time?!" I scowled back.

Instead of answering me, Hijikata-san turned to Kyoko-chan. "And you! Stop encouraging her to run off all the time!"

"Me? But I'm totally innocent." Kyoko-chan said as she battered her eyelashes at Hijikata-san, completely unfazed by the yelling.

Hijikata-san ignored Kyoko-chan and grabbed my arm. "We're going back!" he said as he began to drag me back towards headquarters.

"Wait." Kyoko-chan said, losing her playful façade from earlier. "Before you take her back, you should come with me to my family's bank first, Hijikata."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"You'll see. It'll benefit the Roshigumi greatly."

Hijikata-san's expression became one of curiosity at Kyoko-chan's reply. "How?" he asked.

"I hope you didn't think that Shizuka-chan was just sneaking out to fool around with me time." she said in all seriousness.

Hijikata-san raised his eyebrow before turning to look at me.

"Shall we get going?" I asked before Kyoko-chan lead us back to the bank.

Both Hijikata-san and I waited by the counter as Kyoko-chan left for the back of the bank. When she returned, she place 50 ryo on the counter in front of Hijikata-san. He looked at the money before looking at both us with confusion.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Money for the Roshigumi." Kyoko-chan answered. "You live with a very skilled physician."

Hijikata-san spun around to stare at me. "You earned this?"

"And more." I answered. "I gave the money I earned through surgeries and other treatments to Kyoko-chan for safe keeping. Kyoko-chan has taken the other 110 ryo to merchants throughout this city for investments. The investments should bring in more income by the end of this month."

Hijikata-san continued to stare at me flabbergasted before he started to stare at Kyoko-chan too.

"Why did you decide to go out to earn the money for us?" he asked. I could have kept all the money for myself, but I decided to give everything I had to Hijikata-san instead.

"This way the Roshigumi doesn't have to keep depending on Serizawa for money." I explained. "I can outcompete him when it comes to earning the money needed so that when it come time to remove him, it'll be easier."

"So this is what you two have been doing the entire time… Why didn't you just tell me?"

I wink at him with a mischievous smile "It's a secret~." It was more like I didn't want anyone else to get in trouble, especially now with the new set of rules in place. "We should be going back now. It's almost time for me to start cooking dinner."

"Oh! Right!" Hijkata-san said when I mentioned dinner.

"See you later, Kyoko-chan!" I waved before Hijikata-san and I left the bank.

"Let's go eat some more dango later!" she called back.

* * *

><p>Where was Souji? It was time to eat dinner. I haven't seen him since I got back to headquarters with Hijikata-san. Souji usually went out of his way to find me every time I returned to headquarters after spending time with Kyoko-chan. So where was he today? I had already finished cooking dinner and I hadn't even seen him once.<p>

"Heisuke, any luck finding him?" I asked as Heisuke, Sano-san, and Saito-san came around the corner.

"No… Where could he be?" Heisuke said before he spotted Ibuki-kun returning with a jar of sake. "I'll go ask Rynosuke!" he yelled back towards me as he ran to go meet Ibuki-kun.

Sano-san and Saito-san both exchanged looks before following after Heisuke. I tagged along behind the two men.

"Ryunosuke! Have you seen Souji?" Heisuke asked worriedly as he stopped in front of Ibuki-kun.

"Huh?" came Ibuki-kun's useless response."It's almost mealtime, so I went to his room to get him, but I can't find him anywhere!" Heisuke explained to Ibuki-kun.

"Supposedly he was out walking with Tonouchi." Saito-san spoke up.

_Tonouchi? But why would Souji go out with Tonouchi when he wasn't even familiar with him?_ Something was wrong.

"Tonouchi?" asked Ibuki-kun. His expression… he knew something we didn't.

"You know the guy?" Sano-san pressured as he caught on to the same expression I saw.

"Uh, no…" Ibuki-kun stopped speaking for a moment, "Actually… I heard Tonouchi mention something about removing Kondou-san…"

I narrowed my eyes at that statement. Remove Father?

This was something serious. All the guys nodded at each other before Sano-san requested that I go gather Hijikata-san, Sannan-san, and Father together in a room. As soon as I got those three people and an extra Gen-san together and explained the situation, Saito-san entered with Ibuki-kun in tow.

"So why did Souji and that Tonouchi guy go out together?" Hijikata-san questioned Ibuki-kun.

"Well, I don't know either…" Ibuki-kun started as he tightened his fists and shifted his gaze to the floor.

"Does anyone else know of this?" asked Father.

"Serizawa-san and Niimi-san were the only other people there." Ibuki-kun answered.

"Damn it!" Hijikata-san yelled angrily, "Don't tell me Serizawa-san put something crazy into Souji's head!" He stood up and moved to leave the room, only to be stopped by Saito-san's question.

"Commander, where are you going?"

"I'm going looking for Souji. If he heard about all that, then who knows what he'll do?"

"Let's split up and search for him." suggested Sannan-san.

As everyone in the room prepared to stand up and go search for Souji, Heisuke's worried cry penetrated the walls of the room.

"Souji!"

"Pipe down." came Souji's voice, "I told you I'm not hurt anywhere." _Hurt?_

I quickly sprang to my feet and ran to where Souji's voice was coming from. Everyone else in the room quickly followed behind. Souji was sitting on the porch taking off his shoes.

I rushed to his to his side. His front side was completely drenched in blood. What did he do?

"Are you hurt?" I asked before quickly scanning him for injuries.

The blood on him was from a spurt, I realized after inspecting him. It was impossible for any of it to have come from him. If he was cover in this much blood that did not belong to him, then the only logical assumption is that he had just killed someone. He returned alone, despite leaving with Tonouchi and when the known facts were put together, it became obvious that the person that Souji killed was Tonouchi. But if Souji did kill Tonouchi, who was a member of the Roshigumi, then that meant that Souji had broken the Code of Conduct. The punishment for the breach would be seppuku.

_No...why?_ I reached for his hand and held on tightly. How did it come to this?

"No, I'm not hurt." he reassured me gently before glancing behind to Hijikata-san and Saito-san. "Huh? Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun?" Souji turned around a bit more to face the men behind him, thus revealing his blood drenched state. "What's up? Why are you in such a panic?" he asked while sounding mildly satisfied.

At the sight of the blood that covered Souji's front, everyone's, minus Saito-san's, eyes widened in shock.

"Souji, whose blood is that...?" Hijikata-san asked while gnashing his teeth. There was an inconceivable amount of rage boiling behind those purple eyes.

"I'll explain everything inside." Souji said nonchalantly as he stood up, his hand fell away from mine at the movement. "Could you let me rest a bit? I'm tired after just killing someone."

Souji walked past everyone and made his way inside. No one moved for what seemed like hours before Saito-san headed towards the room Souji entered. Everyone slowly followed Saito-san's example and started to go back inside to gather in the hall.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Hijikata-san raged. "Do you have any idea what you've done?! By killing Tonouchi, another member of the Roshigumi, you've breached the regulations! You'll be forced to commit seppuku for this!"

"I didn't do anything wrong." Souji spoke, continuing with his nonchalant attitude. "Tonouchi was planning on killing Kondou-san. Killing the commander would be breaching of the first code: deviating from the bushido. I was only carrying out the regulations."

That was a weak reason. The proper course of action would have been to report Tonouchi and he knew it. Sure, the situation would have probably ended with Tonouchi's death too, but it was still the proper route to take. Souji's reason was weak, but it was enough to worm out of seppuku.

"Where did you get this information?!" fumed Hijikata-san. He asked despite already knew the answer.

"Serizawa-san can be surprisingly nice." Souji's answered as Hijikata-san became even more enraged . Hijikata-san and Father stormed off Serizawa's room to demand some answers. The conversation was over.

"Well, I guess I can go take some rest now. The blood is sticky. I need to get my clothing washed tomorrow." Souji said lightheartedly as he left the hall.

Now that everyone was leaving the hall, the rage started to settle in. Serizawa, that brilliant asshole of magnificent proportions. How **dare** he use Souji like this. The Code of Conduct that was put into place was created by Hijikata-san to restrain Serizawa, but Serizawa used Souji to break the regulations and made the rules backfire on Hijikata-san. That bastard also used Souji to kill off Tonouchi, who happened to be a growing potential threat. While killing off Tonouchi may have been the right move, it did not change the fact that he used Souji to do his dirty work. Serizawa's plan was brilliant when it came to manipulating people to get what he also didn't actually break any of the rules and got Souji to do everything for him. I would see him burn for exploiting Souji's weakness like this.

Deciding to follow Hijikata-san's and Father's example, I left the hall to confront Serizawa. He was not going to get away with this. Hijikata-san was already in the midst of a conversation with Serizawa by the time I arrived outside the room.

"What?! You just had him kill one of our own!" I heard Hijikata-san yell from my outside position. "It's only natural for me to be pissed!"

"Tonouchi was a man of two faces. He would have bitten our hands if we let the cur live." Serizawa retorted.

"And you can prove that?"

"You sound rather worked up. It's hard to believe that this is coming from the same man who made the strict codes, that whoever breaks the Rules of Conduct must commit sepukku."

There was a moment of silence as I heard a cup placed down.

"Well, don't just stand there. Come sit." I heard Serizawa say as I saw Father's and Hijikata-san silhouettes move to sit down before. Serizawa started talking again when the two were seated.

"Listen, seppuku requires an attendant. The Roshigumi's soldiers must be able to behead their companions without a moment's pause once they receive the order. Why are you making such a fuss when that Okita brat merely purged us of a soldier that was unwilling to follow the way of the warrior? You are both soft. You do not truly want to be well known. Okita is not the one who should return to Edo. Aren't you two the ones who should go back?"

A sound of irritated defeat was heard as Hijikata-san's shadow bowed its head in loss at Serizawa's words.

"I will admit that we may have lacked in our resolve." I heard Father speak up. "But Souji…! Souji is not just my student! You can call me soft if you like, but I did not want him to soil his name by killing a comrade! That's how I truly feel."

"Hmph," Serizawa said after Father too bowed his head in defeat. After a moment of silence, Serizawa called towards the open door. "So is it your turn to try to tear into me now?"

So he knew I was there the whole time. I stepped forward in to the light of the room. My face did not lose it's cold fury during Serizawa's talk, unlike the two men before that now held defeated expressions.

"So are you here to confront me too about ruining that Okita brat's innocence?" He asked with a slight smirk.

"You can't destroy what wasn't there in the first place." I stated icily.

"Oh?" he said amusingly. "So you aren't here because you're upset I had him kill someone."

"Please, who do you take me for? I already know that by the end of all this, everyone will have cut down enough people to fill a sea with blood." I already knew what to expect. I had formed my own resolve ages ago.

"Heh! If you know that already, then what are you here for?"

"I'll admit that you did the right thing to have Tonouchi killed off, but you used the wrong person to do your dirty work. How dare you exploit Souji like this! I will see you burn in hell for this." I snarled.

"Hahaha! You? You think you can kill me?" he laughed at my words as if they were a silly joke.

My original plan was only to remove Serizawa from power. I may have entertained the fantasy of killing Serizawa off in the beginning, but decided that I didn't need to. But now thing have changed. He had the gall to use Souji for his own gain. He almost destroyed my relationship with Souji a few nights before. I would see to it that the Lord of Aizu call for Serizawa's assassination.

"Kill you?" I asked condescendingly. "No, I won't be the one to kill you. But I will be the tightening of the noose around your throat as you stare death in the face. As you hang there suffocating, you will use your last breath to curse my name."

I am the banisher, the ill will that snuffs the final candle.


	27. Chapter 27

**Character assassination** is a deliberate and sustained process that aims to destroy the credibility and reputation of a person, institution, social group, or nation. Agents of character assassinations employ a mix of open and covert methods to achieve their goals, such as raising false accusations, planting and fostering rumors, and manipulating information

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

"Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value."  
>― Amit Kalantr<p>

"As I said, the master is currently away", the banker teller cried in desperation as he tried to get Serizawa to leave.

Unwilling to take no for an answer, Serizawa kicked the poor man to the ground. "Insolent whelp!" Serizawa yelled before giving the man one more kick for good measure. "We are devoted warriors who have traveled all the way from the east to fight for national loyalism!"

Father, Hijikata-san, and almost everyone else that came along to Osaka watched in horror and disgust from outside the building as Serizawa continued to kick the man lying on the floor. A few days after the incident that resulted in Tonouchi's death, Father, Hijikata-san, Souji, Shinpachi-san, Ibuki-kun, me, Serizawa, and Niimi left for Osaka to borrow money for the Roshigumi, seeing that the Roshigumi did not receive much money from clan Aizu to function. However, borrowing money for Serizawa held a completely different meaning for him than the rest of us. Serizawa "borrowing" money was more like "kicking the shit out of people" so that they gave their money to him. His actions were vile and cruel, but I said and did nothing. As terrible it was for the poor man on the floor to be beaten, I needed everyone to see the methods that Serizawa would use to make money. This way, when it came time to compare the way I brought in income to the way Serizawa did, everyone would chose my method of doing things. This way the Roshigumi would not have to rely on Serizawa and therefore would make it easier to dispose of him. Plus, Serizawa's own vile acts would harm clan Aizu's good name thereby forcing the Lord of Aizu to order for disposal in order to save face. Serizawa's own behavior really made my character assassination plan easier to carry out. I had no qualms with him tightening his own noose.

"I am most sorry!" came a fearful apologetic voice from the back as another man, the master of the bank, came to the front. "I beg of you! Please accept this and pardon his insolence!" cried the master of the bank as he got on his hands and knees to bow to Serizawa and Niimi by default, seeing that Niimi was standing right next to Serizawa. The bank master placed two koban, the equivalent of 50 ryo, on the floor in front of Serizawa.

"Hmph," Niimi snorted as the master of the bank bowed his head, "What's this? You were here after all.

Niimi bent down and collected the money for Serizawa and both men turned to leave the bank. Hijikata-san yelled at Serizawa as soon as Serizawa exited building.

"Serizawa-san, what were you thinking?!" Hijikata-san's form was taut as his hands curled up into shaking fists that hung at his side.

"We came to Osaka to borrow money to fund the Roshigumi!" Father added to Hijikata-san's shout. It was rare to see such open displeasure on Father's face. "But you… Doesn't this make us no better than the rouge samurai who forcibly borrow money?"

Serizawa confidently smirked at Father's accusation.

"In this day and age, those who save easy money clearly made a profit by doing business with foreigners. I would think that punishing such vile merchants is part of our duty as nationalist." Serizawa rebutted.

"You're using fuzzy logic!" Hijikata-san yelled back, completely unconvinced at the statement.

_Fuzzy logic? Fuzzy logic isn't even a strong enough name for it._

"More like the fallacy of defective induction." I mumbled under my breath. "Faulty generalization without consideration of all the variables…"

Serizawa narrowed his eyes at me before he bent down to the ground and picked up a small rock. He straightened up again and flicked the rock at my face. Souji's eyes widened slightly before he quickly pulled me behind him, causing the rock to miss.

"You always have to have the last word, don't you?" Souji asked me with an exasperated half smile. I returned his smile with an irritated look. I didn't need him to protect me, especially when I was picking a fight with Serizawa. If I got hit then it would have been my own fault.

"Be quiet woman, your superiors are speaking." Serizawa warned with an annoyed expression as he returned to facing Hijikata-san and Father, whom both had moved block me from Serizawa's sight.

"Then do you know of another way to procure funding for the Roshigumi?" Niimi continued the conversation egotistically without missing a beat.

_Why yes we do._ This was the moment I was waiting for. Hijikata-san shot a glance at me through the corner of his eye before smirking at Serizawa and Niimi.

"We have a much better method for procuring funds. In fact, we can gain funding much faster than you can, Serizawa." Hijikata-san said proudly. "We don't need you."

At Hijikata-san's claim, all the guys stared with a stunned expression. What was this method? Why weren't they told?

"Really, Toshi?" Father asked, awed by Hijikata-san claim.

"Oh, really now?" Serizawa snorted in disbelief, "Why don't you go ahead and enlighten us."

Hijikata-san's smirk grew in size as he reached into his sleeve and pulled out the money that Kyoko-chan and I presented to him a few days back. Most of the men reacted comically, especially Shinpachi-san, at the large amount of money hidden away in Hijikata-san's sleeve.

"Oh?" Serizawa raised his eyebrow. "I never thought that you would break the Code of Conduct that you helped write yourself. What was it? Rule number three: Do not raise money without authorization." He laughed crudely. "I don't recall giving you permission to raise funds and by the look in Kondou-san's face, he didn't either. Are you that desperate to out do me that you'd even risk seppuku?"

"Toshi!" Father exclaimed worriedly. How was he going to protect his best friend?

"Heh! That rule only applies to the **men** that are officially a part of the Roshigumi." Hijikata-san said victoriously, "These funds came from the woman you just threw that rock at."

Everyone turned to stare at me behind Souji. Just how did I earn all that money in Hijikata-san's hand?

"Hahaha! So did the pretty little thing whore herself out for that money?" Serizawa laughed as a response. All the guys became edgy at the insinuation. Souji's hands itched for his sword on his side, but before he could grab it, I stepped in front of Serizawa. So Serizawa didn't take me to be a real threat that night. He will by the end of today.

"For a man with such a worldly knowledge, you can be quite stupid." I stated matter-of-factly, "Do not generalize all women's abilities to earn money based on the few you visit. I told you when we first met, I am a surgeon. My particular skill set can bring in more money in a single day than you can beat out of people in days. You've already played your role in getting clan Aizu to sponsor the Roshigumi. You're no longer needed."

"What did you say?!" Serizawa spat down at me as rage boiled behind his eyes.

I am a threat. Look down on me and before you look up again, your head might be missing. Father quickly moved to stand between me and Serizawa.

"Mah, mah, let's all calm down. Shizu-chan can procure funding for the Roshigumi so Serizawa-san doesn't have to work so hard." Father said, trying to keep the peace.

"Tsk!" Serizawa turned away from Father. "Niimi let's go! They can do what they wish! Dog, you're coming to pour my sake!" He said as he started to walk away with Ibuki-kun running after him, but stopped before leaving earshot and turned to me, "You'll need to do much better than this to remove me. My ability to obtain money isn't my only skill."

"Do you really think this is my whole plan? This is only phase one." I replied before Serizawa vanished. At this moment, we both acknowledged each other as formidable foes. He would play my game and wait for the opportunity to strike back. In a den of vipers, the one that can outwit the enemy first wins. Let's see who eats who in the end.

"So this is what you've been doing when you've been sneaking out into the city." Father said with a small rueful smile. "I never really gave you a chance to act like a child in the past and now when you're marriageable age, you spend all your time helping the Roshigumi instead spending your time on what a normal young woman your age would be doing."

There was no need for Father to feel so guilty. He had not forced me into doing anything I had not wanted to do.

"There's no need for you to look so sad. You didn't force me into anything. Everything I choice to do was my choice and mine alone." I gently explained to Father; however his expression did not change. He was believed that he had somehow wronged me.

"I'll be leaving most of the matters of money to you then." Father said, yielding to the need for funding over his personal desires.

"Leave procuring the funds to me. We don't need Serizawa and his methods." I firmly said to Father before cheerfully shifting gears. "You know, we can spend the rest of the day off. I have more money hidden away and we have no real need to work for weeks."

"Really? How much money is there?" Shinpachi-san asked.

I grinned as I visibly counted off using my fingers, "50 ryo with Hijikata-san, 110 ryo in investments in Kyoto's markets, 80 ryo in a bank for emergency money, and 90 ryo in investments Osaka's markets."

"What?!" exclaimed Hijikata-san, "You only told me that you had 110 ryo in investments in Kyoto!"

"I lied. I wanted to see that look on your face." I said gleefully. It was fun lying to Hijikata-san.

"You…" Hijikata-san said flabbergasted before shaking his head with a small smile.

"Shit! 330 ryo's a lot of money!" Shinpachi-san proclaimed, "But I didn't know you knew how to navigate the economy."

"Hehehe," I giggled before saying flatly, "I don't."

"Wait, what?" _Geez, no need to look so worried Shinpachi-san._

"She has a friend doing the investments for her." Hijikata-san clarified.

"Kyoko-chan, right?" Souji asked me.

I nodded spiritedly.

* * *

><p>"Hijikata-san's taking forever." Shinpachi-san complained from his seated position, breaking the tense silence of the room.<p>

The sun was setting and our day in Osaka had come to an end as everyone sat inside a waiting room waiting for the ship that was going to take the group back to Kyoto. It had already been two hours and the ship was still not ready. Hijikata-san had left some time back to check to see what had happened to the ship and had not returned yet. Serizawa and Niimi sat near the opposite wall of the room and drank sake while waiting for the ship.

"This place is filled with nasty vibes." Souji suddenly said from across where Shinpachi-san was sitting before standing up. "I think I'm going to go take a walk around the area. Shizuka, come with me."

He grabbed my hand and lead me outside to go with him on his walk.

"Eh? I'm coming too?" I asked as I was taken outside.

"I'm not leaving you in the same room as Serizawa." he said with an irritated look. "Besides it's been a few days since we've been alone together."

Well, that was true. In fact, we hadn't spent any time together in privacy since the night of our kiss. He led me to another empty bridge before we stopped walking. He tugged on my hand with just enough force for me to lose my balance. I fell against his chest as his arms went around me and when he moved his face closer to mine, and at this moment, I thought it would be the perfect time to ask him a question. It had been some time since we have had time to speak to each other in privacy, after all. Something had been bothering me.

"Have you spoken to Hijikata-san since the night of Tonouchi's death?" I asked.

For some reason, Souji looked really put off when I asked my question. The disappointment on his face was that of a kid's expression when he had been denied something, which I thought was strange. I didn't deny him anything. He let go of me and went to lean on the railing of the bridge and looked at the water.

"Why did you have to bring up Hijikata-san now?" he scowled at his refection in the water below.

"I hadn't had the privacy to ask you until now." I reasoned, "So have you?"

"I don't wanna talk about this."

"So you haven't… You know Hijikata-san's only worried about you."

"I don't want his worry."

I wasn't getting through to him at all. I knew he didn't like talking about Hijikata-san, but I wanted him to fix his relationship with Hijikata-san, no matter how strained it was it the first place. Both of them had a strange brotherly connection, even if Souji denied it. It was always hard to talk to Souji when he was frustrated, but why was he so frustrated right now? He was fine a few moments ago. Did I do something to upset him? Maybe Father would have a better chance at getting through to him.

"For someone so smart, you're pretty dense, Shizuka." Souji said as I tried and failed to figure out the source of his frustration.

"Souji," another voice called from the end of the bridge. Well, speak of the devil and he'll appear. Father approached both of us on the bridge. "Shizu-chan, can you go check on Toshi for me?"

So, Father wanted to speak to Souji alone. Hopefully Father could get through to Souji.

"Okay," I said as I left to find Hijikata-san, giving both Father and Souji some privacy.

* * *

><p>So, apparently there was a mistake that was made when arranging the ship to take us all back to Kyoto. By the time we all got back to headquarters it was nearly the hour of the ox. As everyone dispersed and headed to their prospective rooms, a hand wrapped around my left wrist and pulled me into a dark, deserted hallway. Before I could register what was happening, I was trapped between another person and the wall. The shaft of my naginata uncomfortably dug into my back as the other person pressed his body against mine before capturing my lips in a heated kiss. I relaxed in relief and returned the kiss when one of the man's hands started rubbing up and down my side. I recognized the touch, it was only Souji. We parted when he was satisfied with the kiss. He regarded me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. His mood was much better than it previously was earlier in the evening.<p>

"What was that for?" I asked curiously.

"No real reason." he said as he started to shepherd me towards his room. "I just wanted to. Sleep with me in my room tonight?"

He wanted me to sleep with him in his room? Why? Was he not feeling well and wanted company? Was he feeling lonely? I reached up to place my hand on his forehead to measure his temperature. There was no fever.

"I'm feeling fine." he said a little irritated at my actions. "No, I'm not feeling lonely either." he said before I could ask him my next question. He turned away, the darkness masking most of the red dusting his cheeks, "I just wanted you to stay with me tonight."

"Oh. Okay then." I consented to his request. "But could you let me put everything away first and get changed?"

I didn't want to go to sleep in my day clothes. I was pretty sure they were covered in dust from a day of traveling. Souji pouted, feeling a bit unwilling to relinquish his hold on me but let go of me in the end.

"I'll be waiting. Don't make me wait too long." he said before heading towards his room alone.

I rushed to my room and placed my belongings back in their usual spaces before changing into my simple, white sleeping robe. I quickly snuck off to Souji's room afterwards. I quietly slipped in his room before shutting his door without making a sound. When I entered his room, he was just about to tie his sleepwear shut.

"That was fast." he commented.

"You did say not to make you wait too long." I pointed out before taking the tie out of his hands and tying his robe shut for him.

"So I did."

His wandering hands had a perch found my hips.

"You know, you're pretty lucky." I mentioned offhandedly as I finished tying his robe shut. I eyed his, now mostly covered, chest. I had gotten a quick peak at his bare chest when the robe was open. "Lots of men never grow to become attractive after they grow out of their physically awkward stage of puberty, but you've turned out really handsome."

"So, Shizuka thinks I'm handsome?" he asked with a pleased expression. He gently steered me towards his futon before he went to put out the lantern.

"Any blind person could see that you're handsome." I retorted as I laid down on his futon first. In fact, I'm pretty sure a person born without eyes could tell that he was attractive.

"Is that so?"

He blew out the candle in the lantern before settling into his futon with me. As he moved to get comfortable, he laid partially on top of me: his head on top of my breasts and his arms around the curves of my side. I ran my fingers through his hair as he snuggled into my warmth.

"Shizuka's gotten really pretty in the last few years too." he commented before adding impishly, "Shizuka's breasts also grew to a nice size."

Did he just go there? At least he enjoys them, I guess?

He smirked before pushing the top of my robe open slightly with his nose and rested his head on top of my now exposed cleavage.

* * *

><p>With my true reason now known for leaving the compound everyday, at least one of the guys now always came with me now when it was time for me to make my rounds. Now that Serizawa knew that I alone came up with a plan to dispose of him, it didn't matter if any of the guys came with me when I headed into the city. I was the one raising the funds, not the guys. It didn't matter if I didn't permission to raise money. I wasn't officially a part of the Roshigumi so the Code of Conduct did not apply to me. If or when Serizawa ever decided to strike back, then he would only aim for me and no one else would get caught in the crossfire.<p>

Kyoko-chan still accompanied me every time, even with extra shadow following us around. She never minded the extra person that always came with, especially if it was Heisuke or Shinpachi-san. She liked to bully those two because they always fell for her tricks and pranks. Today was Sano-san turn to escort me around the city.

"So, then what happened?" Kyoko-chan asked, pressuring me for the next set of events.

"After the cat escaped Souji's room, it went directly to Hijikata-san's room and ran off with one of Hijikata-san's haiku books." I said while grinning at the old memory.

"Seriously?!" Kyoko-chan gasped in pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, the rest of us couldn't believe it." Sano-san added with a chuckle. "It was like the cat was channeling part of Souji's soul."

"The cat ran off with the book and was never seen again in the dojo." I finished the story. "From then on, Hijikata-san had never allowed anyone to have any animals inside the dojo. That haiku book was never seen again. Who knows where it is now?"

All three of us broke out in to laughs. Poor Hijikata-san and his haiku books; too bad it was too much fun to steal them from him. Souji never stopped breaking in and stealing Hijikata-san's books and more than often dragged me along. It was even better when I could convince one of the other guys to join us; the extra head was always the scapegoat in these operations.

"Oneesan!" a young boy called, interrupting our conversation.

Kohaku-kun, Kyoko-chan's six year old younger brother, came running to where the three of us were now standing.

"Oh, it's you." Kyoko-chan said drably as she regarded her little brother.

"What's that suppose to mean?!" he scowled back before kicking his older sister's shin.

"Ouch! You little brat!"

"Wah!" Kohaku-kun cried before he ran behind my legs. "Shizuka-nee, Oneesan's being mean to me!"

"Why you little—" Kyoko-chan spat before I interrupted, stopping the situation from growing too out of hand.

"Is there a reason you came out here?" I asked the young boy kindly.

"Mom told me to get Oneesan because she needed help with some chores." he answered while still hiding behind me.

Kyoko-chan sagged at the explanation.

"Aww, I thought I was done." she whined before submitting to her fate. "Let's go, brat. Bye Shizuka-chan, Harada-san!" she waved before disappearing into the crowd with her little brother.

Sano-san placed his hand on my head after Kyoko-chan left, "I guess that means it's time for us to start heading back."

"Okay." I said as we started heading back to the Yagi house.

On our way back to headquarters, both Sano-san and I came across the back of a very dazed Ibuki-kun staring off into the distance. Sano-san pondered something for a bit before calling out to Ibuki-kun cheerfully.

"Yo! If it isn't Rynosuke! What's up?"

At the sound of Sano-san's voice, Ibuki-kun turned around slowly with a blank look. Ibuki-kun had a magnificent red hand print on the left side of his face.

"Ah. You where just slapped by someone." I bluntly pointed out the obvious.

Sano-san just sighed at my reaction before taking both Ibuki-kun and I to a more secluded area near the river before asking Ibuki-kun what had happened. Ibuki-kun sat down on a small bolder before he explained what had happened. It appeared that Ibuki-kun had been slapped by a maiko he was speaking to over something about "casually pleasing customers". It was no wonder he had been slapped. Maiko and geisha never did anything "casually". They spent hours in practices and lessons each day before working almost all night with their customers. It was a tough job.

"You moron!" Sano-san declared with an irritated expression before bashing Ibuki-kun on the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" Ibuki-kun cried as he rubbed the area that Sano-san hit. Sano-san just crossed his arms and regarded Ibuki-kun with annoyance.

"You actually said that crap to that nice little maiko? No wonder she gave you that handprint."

"Hmph." Ibuki-kun snorted after quickly turning his head to the side.

"Unbelievable…" said Sano-san as he pulled Ibuki-kun to his feet. "We're going."

Ibuki-kun quickly snatched the hand that Sano-san used to pull him up, back. "Go? Go where?"

Sano-san quickly looped his arm around Ibuki-kun's neck and forced Ibuki-kun into a painful headlock before dragging him towards Shimabara in that headlock.

"You shouldn't make assumptions about someone without knowing all the facts." I said while following the pair from behind. "You're lucky that all she did was slap you. You need go apologize to her."

"Ow, ow!" Ibuki-kun cried as he was dragged along, "Why should I?!"

"Just apologize!" Sano-san answered with a raised voice.

"Wait, wait! That hurts!"

"Come on moron!"

I just followed behind the two quietly as Sano-san dragged Ibuki-kun all the way to Shimabara in a headlock. As bad as it was for the neck to remain in that position for that long, I think that Ibuki-kun deserved that punishment.

* * *

><p>Updates will slow down again because of all the assignments that will be due within the next 3-4 weeks. _<p> 


	28. Chapter 28

**Warning: **Suggestive themes

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

"Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex."  
>― Hunter S. Thompson<p>

With the speed that Sano-san pulled Ibuki-kun along in that headlock, it was no surprise we managed to reach Shimabara in a matter of minutes. But it was a surprise that Ibuki-kun didn't pass out from the lack of air that resulted from the way Sano-san was dragging him. For someone that didn't know how to fight or train regularly, Ibuki-kun had an exceptionally sturdy frame. He only got released from that painful headlock when Sano-san stopped to ask a bandana wearing man that worked in Shimabara about that maiko from earlier.

"Hey, mind if I ask you something?" Sano-san inquired as the man was passing by. "We're searching for a maiko."

The man stopped in front of our little and scratched his head while trying to recall all the names of the maiko working in Shimabara.

"Okay. What's the girl's name?" the man questioned as he paused to answer Sano-san.

"Rynosuke?" Sano-san said as he asked Ibuki-kun for the maiko's name.

Still feeling unwilling to answer, Ibuki-kun turned his head away and stared at dirt road. "Like I said, I'm not apolo—Ow!"

Displeased at Ibuki-kun's rude attituded, Sano-san had interrupted Ibuki-kun's refusal to apologize with a powerful whack to the top of the head.

"Be good and answer the question!" scolded Sano-san as Ibuki-kun held his bruised head, "What's her name?"

"Pretty sure it's Kosuzu." Ibuki-kun answered begrudgingly.

_Kosuzu? Wasn't she the one that Serizawa threw that cup at back about a couple of weeks ago? _

The bandana wearing man smiled brightly at the mention of the maiko and cheerfully answered while pointing nearby okiya, "Oh, if you're looking for Kosuzu-chan…"

"Thank you very much for your help." I said while bowing politely to the man before he resumed his previous task.

"Let's go." Sano-san said to Ibuki-kun before heading towards the okiya. When Ibuki-kun failed to move, I pushed him from behind towards the direction Sano-san was walking towards.

"Quit it!" Ibuki-kun complained at my actions, "I can walk on my own!"

"Then quit complaining and walk." I pointedly said without ceasing my pushing. He was pretty heavy and so I gave up pushing him when I managed to move him next to the okiya's windows. He was close enough. Sano-san was already asking the maid about Kosuzu by the time I managed to get Ibuki-kun to the windows.

"She is currently in the middle of practice…" the maid answered Sano-san when he asked for Kosuzu.

"Okay. Then we'll wait here for a bit." Sano-san replied patiently while Ibuki-kun became enraptured by the dance he was witnessing through the windows.

It was interesting. I didn't take Ibuki-kun for someone that appreciated dance, but I couldn't blame him for stopping to watch the dance. Kosuzu was pretty good dancer for a maiko that had just debuted not too long ago, but I still couldn't help but feel that I was misreading the reason Ibuki-kun was staring at the dancing maiko.

"She's pretty good." I commented to Sano-san after the maid returned back inside the okiya, "I didn't think Ibuki-kun was someone who enjoyed watching dances, but he's enthralled by that dance."

Sano seemed to sigh with resignation at my comment, "I wouldn't say he's interested in the dance itself…"

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" I mean, what else could be the reason Ibuki-kun was staring at Kosuzu?

"Never mind." Sano-san said with a small smile while shaking his head at me.

_I don't get it. What did I miss? _Seriously, no one ever tells me what I missed. If no one ever tells me what I missed, how will I ever figure out what's been going on? I pouted at Sano-san. Everyone seriously sucked.

We didn't have to wait too long before the dance practice was over. As Kosuzu was bowing in thanks to the okiya's proprietress, the maid that Sano-san spoke to earlier, informed the proprietress of guests. Kosuzu moved to the genkan to prepare to greet her guests while the other women left the proximity to offer privacy. The maid came back outside to let us know that Kosuzu could see us now.

Sano-san entered the okiya first, holding the noren up for me as I came in second while pulling Ibuki-kun in with me.

"Sorry for the wait." Kosuzu said while bowing as she politely received us.

"Sorry to disturb ya." Sano-san apologized before explaining why we were here. "Apparently he said some pretty rude stuff to you, so he came to apologize. Do it Rynosuke!"

As soon as Sano-san finished speaking, he pushed down forcefully on Ibuki-kun's head resulting in a messy bow.

"Fine!" said Ibuki-kun as he tried to get Sano-san to leave him alone.

One quick peek at Kosuzu and I could tell she wasn't going to accept the half-hearted apology from Ibuki-kun. Why would she? Ibuki-kun insulted her and was now being forced to apologize without any heart behind the apology. Such apologies were worthless and a waste of time.

"Bowing in apology means nothing if he does not regret what he said." she said refusing to accept the forced apology.

"You've got a point." Sano-san agreed as he ceased pushing Ibuki-kun into the bow.

"Maybe it would be better if you explained to him what he did that made you angry." I suggested. Perhaps if Ibuki-kun actually knew what he did wrong then he would be more apologetic.

"He truly is an ignorant idiot! He would be able to understand without an explanation!" Sano-san added on.

"Quit calling me an idiot." Ibuki-kun complained after he straightened up again. He looked everywhere but at Kosuzu.

"Ibuki-han, you said that we should casually they to please out banquet guests," Ibuki-kun's head perked up slightly when he heard Kosuzu start to explain, "but since arriving in Kyoto, I have not missed a single day of dance, shamisen or music lessons. And not just me, the same is true of the other women. This place is soaked with our sweat and tears. All of us live by selling the arts we have worked so hard to master!"

As Kosuzu was finishing up her explanation, Ibuki-kun's passive expression morphed into one of stunned realization before becoming one of regret.

"I…" he started before looking down in shame at his behavior from before.

"Now do you get it?" asked Sano, "Everyone has something that they will stand up for."

This time Ibuki-kun gave a low and genuine bow of apology to Kosuzu.

"I'm really sorry!" he exclaimed while bowing. Kosuzu was surprised at how genuinely he was apologizing for his slip up. "I said something horrible when I didn't know a thing about you! I'm sorry!"

"That's enough." said Kosuzu, no longer mad from earlier. "Please raise your head Ibuki-han. I'm sorry that I slapped you. Are you alright?"

Ibuki-kun stupefied when Kosuzu raised her hand to gently caress the cheek she slapped. In fact, dare I say that it looked like he enjoyed her touch?

"Uh, yeah, I guess…" he answered with a small blush, "Although I was surprised when it came out of nowhere."

Kosuzu removed her hand before backing up a bit to bow, "If you do not mind, could you ask for me the next time you visit a banquet room?"

"Huh? But… There's no way I'll be able to visit one again." Ibuki-kun said with his hand on his cheek, where Kosuzu had placed her hand.

"Please watch me perform my arts."

"No, like I said—"

"Sheesh, Just say, 'Okay!' already!" Sano-san said as he pushed down on Ibuki-kun's head again.

"What gives?! Let go of me!" Ibuki-kun complained again at Sano-san's action. At this rate, Sano-san was going to give Ibuki-kun some neck problems.

"Sano-san, if you break his neck then he won't be able to watch Kosuzu-san at all." I pointed out.

"He'll be fine." Sano-san answered, "Real men don't break that easily."

"Ouch! That hurts! Let go!" Ibuki-kun continued to yell.

"Be a man!" Sano-san said.

We must have looked quite strange because Kosuzu began laughing at our antics at the end.

* * *

><p>Sano-san and I were finally on our way back to headquarters again after helping Ibuki-kun. Ibuki-kun chose to stay behind to speak with Kosuzu a bit longer so it was just the two of us walking back. The sun was already starting to set.<p>

"I've been meaning to ask you for awhile now…" Sano-san said, breaking the silence. "What's your relationship with Souji now?"

I stopped walking and stared at him blankly. What did he mean by that? Did Souji's and mine relationship change?

"You don't get what I mean, do you?" Sano-san asked when I didn't reply.

I shook my head. Where was he going with this?

"Let's see… how should I say this? Before both of you were always close and affectionate with each other, but lately Souji's behavior changed a lot regarding you."

Well, I didn't think much had changed. There was the kissing, but I didn't really think too much on it. Besides, how would Sano-san know anything about it? No one saw me and Souji kissing, nor did we tell anyone anything yet.

"Really? I don't see how." I responded.

"Seriously? He's kissing you now and you don't see a change?"

"Wait… How did you know?"

"On the night you guys returned from Osaka, as I was returning to my room after getting a cup of water, I saw you two locked in a kiss in a dark hallway. Do you even know how you feel about him?"

I shook my head again. It seems I didn't know very much lately.

Sano-san sighed at my response. "I know you wouldn't reject him in fear of hurting him, but do you realize what you're doing right now will hurt him even more in the long run?"

My eyes widened at what Sano-san said. I knew it was stupid and irresponsible to kiss Souji back when I didn't understand my own feeling towards him, but I couldn't reject him. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Souji more than I would have if I had rejected him that night.

"Wouldn't it have been better to reject him if you didn't feel the same way about him?"

"No!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Why?"

"I didn't reject not only because I didn't want to hurt him, but also because it felt like my heart would break if I did…" I started off loudly before ending in a confused mumble. Heartbreak? Where did that come from? Exactly what did I feel for Souji?

"Oh?" Sano-san said, a bit stunned by the force of my outburst.

"I may not understand how I feel about him, but what I do know is that I would do anything to make him happy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him."

My response must have been adequate enough for Sano-san because he smiled softly at my answer and pat me on the head.

"If you feel that way about him then both of you will be fine." He said as he started walking again.

I jogged after him to catch up. "What do you mean? Do you know what my feelings are? Tell me."

"It's not my place to say. You should be the one to figure it out." he said, refusing my request. "But I will give you some advice. Instead of just reacting to Souji's acts of affection, you should initiate a few of your own. It hurts for a man when the woman he loves doesn't show her affection towards him in the same way he has been showing affection towards her. When a woman doesn't show her affection towards her man, the man will begin to doubt himself."

"…"

What he said had given me a lot to think about. Did I already unintentionally hurt Souji? Was this why he always seemed so disappointed when I didn't really react much? What were the feelings I was feeling towards Souji if Sano-san said that me and Souji would be okay? I had no answers for any of my questions. I continued following Sano-san in complete silence.

I was ripped out of my thoughts when the sound of children laughing and playing reached my ears several minutes later. I looked towards the direction the sounds were coming from and saw four young children, three boys and one girl, playing with the man Sano-san and I were just talking about, by the riverbank. I stopped walking again and watched the kids play with Souji. He always did like kids and always went out of his way to play with them. I thought it was sweet. As if he felt my gaze, Souji looked up and ours eyes met. I sent him a small smile and he grinned brightly back at me.

"Shizuka?" Sano-san called to catch my attention before following my gaze. "Oh. Why don't I head back first? You should stay here." he said before leaving for headquarters by himself.

"Hey, Souji! Who's that woman you were smiling at?" asked one of the young boys that was playing with Souji.

"Yeah! Who is she? She's pretty." said the little girl.

"She's my koibito." Souji answered the kids with a playful wink. "Why don't one of you go invite her to play with us?"

"I'll do it!" the girl said while jumping up and down before running over to where I was. "Come play with us!" she said before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the others.

I laughed good naturedly at her excitement, "Alright, I'll come." I allowed her to pull me to where the others were. "So what are we playing?"

"We're playing Kagome Kagome!" said one of the boys, "Since you just joined us, you're the oni!"

"Alright then." I said before I covered my eyes with both my hands.

The game Kagome Kagome was a game where one player was chosen as the oni and sat with his or her eyes covered. The others would then join hands and walk in circles around the oni while chanting the song for the game. When the song stopped, the oni would try to name the person that stood directly behind him or her.

The kids started chanting the little song after they were sure I wasn't peeking:

"The bird in the basket,

When, oh when will it come out

In the night of dawn

The crane and turtle slipped

Who is behind you now?"

"Hmm… I wonder who?" I said playfully as my hands remained over my eyes. I already knew who was behind me. It had to be Souji; I could always tell if it was him. "It's Souji!"

"Wah! How did you know?" asked one of the little boys.

"Because she always knows when it's me." said Souji with a grin. "Now it's my turn to be the oni."

Souji and I continued to play with the kids for another 30 minutes before we sent them home. The sun was almost gone from the sky and the day became dim as the moon prepared to appear in the night sky. Both Souji and I stayed by the riverbank and wave the children goodbye when they left.

"That was sweet of you to play with the kids." I said as I smiled at Souji.

"I'm glad you think so." he answered.

While I was playing with the kids, I was also thinking about the advice Sano-san had given me earlier. I decided to act now.

"Close your eyes for me?" I asked with a smile.

"Eh?" Souji said before fulfilling my request, "Okay."

I stood on my toes as I reach upwards to cup his face. I pulled him down towards me as I kissed him softly for a few seconds before slowly drawing away, but I still remaining close enough so our lips were almost touching. I came back in for a second kiss, but this time I left my lips slightly open as I pressed my lips back against his. Souji responded happily to my small invitation and slipped his tongue into my mouth. One of his hands went behind my head while the other one when behind me and pressed into the small of my back as his tongue moved sensationally against mine. When he moved to pull away, I let myself linger a bit longer by briefly sucking gently on his lower lip.

When I did release his lower lip, instead of pulling away from me completely, Souji used his hand that was behind my head to tilt my head to the side as he moved his lips to the side of my neck. I moved my hands to his waist as he continued to nip and suck on my neck lightly. As he busied himself with my neck, the hand that was holding my head slowly slipped downwards and stopped as it moved over the top of my right breast. He gave my right breast a light squeeze, but that wasn't enough for him. He had felt the need to have skin on skin contact. Souji slipped his hand through the folds of my top and started to knead my breast underneath my clothing. My legs grew weak and my breaths became shorter at his sensational administrations as I held on to him. Did he really plan on doing this outside where any random person possibly walking by could see us?

When Souji pulled away, I could see a smug look on his face. He grinned at me again before he pulled me behind a cluster of trees growing near the riverbank. In the privacy of the cluster of trees, he backed me up against one of the trees. When I was firmly against one of the tree, he pushed my top open and his mouth latched on to my left breast as his right hand continued to work on my right. He ground his hips against me and that's when I felt something poking my lower stomach. Did he have a…? Yes, yes he did. His left hand wandered to the ties of my hakama pants and he pulled them loose before sticking his hand into my pants and touching my private lower regions. When he experimentally stroked me with his fingers, I could not help but let out a breathy moan accompanied by a shudder.

"So that feels good…" Souji noted his observations quietly, "You're already wet…"

For someone who had never done any of this before, he seem to know exactly what he was doing. Perhaps the guys told him what he was supposed to do in a situation like this or something like that. But why would this discussion topic pop up in the first place?

While having sex now would have been extremely pleasant, now was neither the time nor place. If I didn't get back to the headquarters to cook dinner soon, Father would send a search party for me. I definitely didn't relish the chance of someone walking in on me and Souji, especially if it was Father or Hijikata-san. I also thought it was too early to start becoming sexually intimate with him. It had only been half a month since that night we kissed on the bridge. I firmly believed that I needed to completely figure out my feelings for him before I allowed both of us to go any further. I really didn't think that my earlier kiss would result in **this **situation, but then again, it not like I ever really initiated any physically intimate acts with him, so maybe he got carried away when I did. He was going to be so disappointed when I stop him from going any further.

"Mmm…" I hummed in pleasure before grabbing the arm that was going into my pants. "Souji, as much as I would love to continue, we have to stop."

He gave me a child-like pout, "Why?"

"I need to get back to headquarters to cook dinner and if I don't show up soon, Father will send a search party for me and I personally don't relish the chance of someone walking in on us."

Souji released a wounded animal-like groan before he slumped loosely against me. I could feel the disappointment gushing out of Souji. He must have really wanted to have sex now. I stroked the back of his head in a weak effort to placate him.

"We might not have intercourse now, but we will one day." I promised. Souji only groaned in response.

* * *

><p>"Everyone listen to this!" Father exclaimed as all of the Roshigumi was gathered in the hall a few days after that night. Like the same as last time, I was sitting in my little corner listening too the announcement. "We have been granted an audience with the lieutenant general of Aizu tomorrow. All of the Roshigumi will visit the Kyoto Military Commissioner's headquarters.<p>

"Awesome!" exclaimed Heisuke as everyone else showed their excitement, "That means they've finally acknowledged how cool we are!"

"What should I do? Y'know, I don't have a thing to wear!" Shinpachi-san said just as excitedly as Heisuke.

"Calm down men!" scolded Hijikata-san, "He's not done talking!"

"So here's the deal:" Father said as he continued speaking, "since we will be in the presence of the Aizu's Domain's lieutenant general, I would like to hold some matches for him to watch!"

"Some matches to watch?" asked Sano-san, "You mean we get to fight in front of a lord?"

Hijikata-san answered with a proud smile, "Yeah! It would be a waste if we just went to meet him and ended at that."

"Why should we go all through that trouble?" interjected Serizawa.

"Indeed!" agreed Niimi, "The Aizu Domain hardly even coughed up enough money to fund our work!"

"Leave all the sweaty work to us." said Hijikata-san, "This job isn't big enough to concern two chiefs over it."

Serizawa smirked at the response as if he were extremely pleased at Hijikata-san's response.

"We've already decided who will face who." Hijikata-san continued. "The first match will be between Heisuke and I."

"I-I'm fighting Hijikata-san…?" Heisuke said with shock at the match up.

"And the second match will between Shinpachi and Saito"

"Saito, eh? This should make for a pretty interestin' match!" proclaimed Shinpachi-san.

"The final match will be between Sannan-san and… Souji, you!" Hijikata-san finished.

Souji grew excited when he heard that he would be fighting Sannan-san in front of Lord Aizu. Hijikata-san was quite sly when he paired off Sannan-san and Souji in a spar. He had not really spoken to Souji since the incident regarding Tonouchi and had been on bad terms with Souji since the night he told him to go back to Edo. This was Hijikata-san's way of making up to Souji, by allowing Souji to fight Sannan, someone with menkyo kaiden in Ittou-ryu style, in front of a lord. This way Souji could show off his talent as a swordsman and get people to acknowledge him and Father, the one who taught swordplay.

"The Aizu Domain's assessment of us depends on the skills displayed in the matches, so please put your heart into your practice!" Father exclaimed as he dismissed the meeting.

"Yessir!" everyone shouted in acknowledgement before they got up to leave.

I got up from my small spot and made a beeline for Souji when the meeting was officially over.

"So, rumor has it that you have a match with someone with menkyo kaiden in front of a lord tomorrow." I said playfully as I approached Souji.

He grinned at my words, "So there is. Here to wish me good luck?"

"Wishing you good luck? You don't need it."

It was true that Sannan-san was good with a sword, but I believed that Souji was better. Souji was faster than Sannan-san and could read peoples moves better. If Sannan-san was good with a sword then Souji was a genius with a sword.

"Hmm, so I don't. But I still wouldn't mind it if you gave a good luck kiss."

"Nope!" I denied, "You'll get a kiss when you win."

"Oh? Now it definitely can't lose now."

* * *

><p>In case if anyone is curious to what Shizuka looks like, I posted a link on my profile page.<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

Yay! Let's suffer through another mental breakdown with Shizuka!

**Warning:** Suggestive themes

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><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."  
>― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love<p>

Sano-san, Ibuki-kun, and I stood behind the cloth borders that were set up around the courtyard where the matches were to take place. Father, Serizawa, and Niimi sat with the officials that the matches were being held for. The guys that were chosen to participate in the matches were in the waiting area waiting for their turn to show off their skills.

"First up is Hijikata-san and Heisuke, right?" Ibuki-kun asked both Sano-san and I.

"Yeah," Sano-san answered Ibuki-kun before asking with a sideways smile me, "Who do you think will win, Shizuka?"

"Hijikata-san." I said without hesitation.

"Ouch, I think Heisuke would be insulted at how fast you answered that question." Sano-san grinned.

"It not like I think that Heisuke is less skilled than Hijikata-san." I defended, "It's just that Hijikata-san is someone that would do anything to win, even if it means fighting dirty."

While many would see fighting dirty as dishonorable, I personally would agree with Hijikata-san's fighting methods. In a real situation with real enemies that would cut you down with out a second thought, no one would care about another person fighting dirty. A fair fight? I would take survival over chivalry any day. I'm sure there were other people that also shared the same sentiment.

"Well, I see your point." Sano-san yielded to my argument.

"Oh, it looks like they're beginning." said Ibuki-kun as he pointed to the center of the courtyard.

In the center of the courtyard stood Hijikata-san and Heisuke with their wooden swords, the referee for the matches also stood nearby. Both competitors got in to position as the referee began raised his arm.

"You may now begin!" the referee declared loudly as he completely raised his arm to begin the match.

Both Hijikata-san and Heisuke tapped their wooden swords against each other's before leaping back into their battle stances. Both watched each other with focused expressions, trying to discern each others moves, before Heisuke gave a confident smile and began moving his sword in a slight figure-eight motion.

"What is he doing?" asked Ibuki-kun, who was unfamiliar with the certain technique that Heisuke was using.

"It's called the 'Wagtail Sword'." explained Sano-san, "He keeps the sword constantly moving so that his opponent cannot read when he will strike."

"Hehhh," Ibuki-kun said to indicate that he heard Sano-san.

Heisuke moved his right foot forward a bit to make it look like he was about to lunge. Not fooled by the false movement, Hijikata-san shifted his weight and moved his sword down to his right side. The point of Hijikata-san sword was now pointed in a downwards direction in the opposite direction of where Heisuke was standing. Disappointed that Hijikata-san was able to call his bluff, Heisuke lunged forwards towards Hijikata-san to make the first strike of the match. With a great cry, Heisuke swung his wooden sword down towards Hijikata-san. At the same time that Heisuke had begun to lunge, Hijikata-san had also done the same. But instead of swinging his sword down like Heisuke did, Hijikata-san had forcefully swung his sword upwards to meet the downwards swing of the other sword. When the two swords collided, Heisuke's sword was repelled and he was knocked back due to the amount of strength Hijikata-san put into that swing.

Seeing an opening after knocking Heisuke slightly off balanced, Hijikata-san quickly followed up his previous attack with a downwards slash. Heisuke was barely able to block that attack and the force of that attack sent him sliding backwards in a crouched position. Being both bigger and taller than Heisuke, Hijikata-san clearly was the one that possessed more physical strength. Both men look up at each other and grinned. It had been awhile since both of them had sparred against each other and they were enjoying the match.

Standing back up at his full height, Heisuke charged at Hijikata-san once more. Both swords clashed against each other once again. Heisuke quickly pulled back his sword and continuously attacked Hijikata-san in several fast strokes. With this barrage of speedy attacks, Hijikata-san could only defend himself as he was pushed back. With each quick attack, Heisuke made sure not to have his sword pressed against Hijikata-san's sword for too long. The speed of the attacks made it impossible for Hijikata-san to make use of his physical strength to repel Heisuke. If the swords didn't remain in contact long enough then Hijikata-san could not physically push Heisuke into submission. Hijikata-san may have been physically stronger than Heisuke, but his physical strength would be useless unless he could find some way to bypass Heisuke's faster speed.

After about a minute of the same tactic, Hijikata-san dodged the next attack instead of blocking it. Heisuke, who had gotten into the flow of his attacks, could not stop himself from moving forward after the missed attack. In that moment, Hijikata-san quickly aimed a well-timed attack in that opening and hit Heisuke's face with his wooden sword. Heisuke dropped his wooden sword and clutch his eye in pain, thus ending the match.

"Ouch," I commented when Hijikata-san's hit landed, "By the looks of it, Heisuke's eye will probably be swollen shut for a week."

Both Sano-san and Ibuki-kun just continued to watch what was happening in the courtyard and didn't say anything about my comment. At the end of that match, Both Hijikata-san and Heisuke bowed to each other before stepping off the combat floor. Shinpachi-san and Saito-san now moved towards the center of the courtyard for their match as Hijikata-san walked back towards the waiting area and Heisuke towards the cloth borders of the courtyard. Heisuke ducked under the cloth border and made his way to where Sano-san, Ibuki-kun, and I were standing.

"Dang it! And here I was so close." Heisuke said disappointedly.

At the sound of Heisuke's voice, Sano-san stopped focusing on where Saito-san and Shinpachi-san were standing and turned around to face Heisuke.

"Oh Heisuke…" Sano-san paused as he saw the black eye.

"Huh?" Heisuke asked at the pause.

Sano-san smiled, "Forget it. It was a good match."

Heisuke grinned at Sano-san's praise.

I pulled out a small container of cold water and a towel from my little tool kit that I brought with me and walked over to examine Heisuke's injury.

"Hmm… it doesn't look too bad, but it needs cold compression." I said. I quickly wet the towel with the cold water and pressed it to his eye. "Compress the injury with that cold towel for 10 minutes at a time." I instructed before turning back to watch the match between Saito-san and Shinpachi-san.

"Begin" I heard the referee yell right before I fully turned around to watch the match.

Both men face each other in their normal battle stances: Shinpachi-san in the standard right-handed stance and Saito-san in his backwards left-handed stance. Saito-san had the advantage in this match. While both men were extremely skilled, Saito-san was left-handed and there were no sword techniques to counter a left-handed opponent. Both men stood still for several seconds before Shinpachi-san attacked first. Shinpachi-san charged forwards and swung his wooden sword downwards towards Saito-san only to be blocked. Saito-san immediately pushed Shinpachi-san off and lunged forwards with a piercing attack.

Shinpachi-san and Saito-san both attacked each other with fast powerful strikes for the next several seconds, but none of the hits actually landed. For each attack that was attempted by both men, there was either a parry or a dodge. Finally, as if they both decided that this stalemate was long enough, they both leapt away from each other. The match winner would be determined by the next attack. Both charged at each other once again, but as Shinpachi-san was preparing to swing his sword downwards onto Saito-san's lower stance, Saito-san made an incredibly fast sidestep and landed a swift hit to Shinpachi-san's side to end the match.

Both stood up straight again and bowed to each other before heading behind the cloth borders. It was now Sannan-san's and Souji's turn.

"Dammit! I lost." Shinpachi-san complained loudly.

"Good job!" Heisuke said cheerfully to both Shinpachi-san and Saito-san.

"Quick, the next match is about to begin." I told everybody. Everyone shut up and went to watch the next match.

Now, both Sannan-san and Souji were facing each other in the courtyard. The referee began the match, but before anyone moved, Souji spoke to Sannan-san.

"Once I win, the lord of Aizu will acknowledge Tennen Rishin-ryuu." Souji said to Sannan-san, "Sorry, but I'm going to use Sannan-san and Ittou-ryuu as stepping stone. This is for the good of Kondou-san and Roshigumi. Please don't hate me."

"Oh my." Sannan-san replied. "It seems that I'm looked down upon. You may be the best sword user in Shieikan. But there's a difference of experiences between us."

After the exchange of words, the match then truly began. Sannan-san started off with the same sword technique Heisuke had used in his match.

"Is that the Wagtail Sword again?" Ibuki-kun asked.

"Yeah." answered Sano-san.

"But Sannan-san… Is that going to work on Souji?" asked Heisuke.

Sannan-san attacked first by launching a series of attacks on Souji, but each of them were blocked. Souji grinned at Sannan-san, feeling totally at ease.

"I can read your moves, Sannan-san." Souji taunted.

Sannan-san grit his teeth when none of his attacks got through Souji's defense.

"I see you've grown strong, Okita-kun." Sannan-san admitted.

After Sannan-san had finished speaking, Souji launched into his own series of attacks. Each attack was aimed at a vital area of Sannan-san's body. The back of the neck, throat, and the solar plexus were all targets. Souji was fighting like he was aiming to kill. While Souji had always been harsh during practice, it was nothing like this. This new fighting style of his was bloody and I was not the only one that realized this.

"Just like I thought." said Shinpachi-san, "Souji's fighting style changed a bit. He was always rough on everyone in practice, with the exception of Shizuka-chan, but now his style is even bloody. It's like he's wielding a real sword."

"Like a real sword? What's that about?" asked Ibuki-kun.

"Watch." I said to Ibuki-kun, "Souji keeps aiming at vital spots, such as the back of the neck, throat, and the solar plexus. The angle he cuts in is also similar. If you slash at the wrong angle, a real sword may easily bend or break. So controlling the angle is an essential skill."

The fierce battle continued, until Souji hit Sannan's shoulder with the Sandanzuki and made Sannan-san drop his sword. The high officials of Aizu must have been surprised that someone from the nameless Tennen Rishin-ryu could defeat a menkyo kaiden in Ittou-ryu. Instead of joining with the rest of the guys behind the cloth border, Sannan-san and Souji both walked back to the waiting area. Wanting to congratulate Souji on his victory, I quickly made my way over to where he was.

"Sannan-san, what did you think of this match?" Souji asked Sannan-san right before I made myself known.

Instead of calling out to Souji, I remained silent and hid in the shadows to listen in on their conversation.

"What do you mean?" Sannan-san questioned.

"The bloodiness in my swordsmanship. It's because I've had a taste of what killing is like." Souji said with a bit of self-deprecation in his voice.

Sannan-san kept silent, considering Souji's words before finally answering, "You have grown stronger, Okita-kun."

Souji seemed surprised at the straightforward praise that held hint no sarcasm or unpleasantness.

"That's unexpected." commented Souji. "Didn't you feel afraid when crossing swords with me? You could've gotten killed."

"…Let bygones be bygones. What really matters is that you are now stronger than you were before. That's why I praise you wholeheartedly."

"Sannan-san sure is hard to understand."

I clenched my fists at Souji's words. I knew that Souji wanted to be useful to Father and that he would use his talent with a sword kill for Father. Souji was determined to be a tool that would be useful to Father, but the problem was that I didn't want him to become a tool. I was fine with Souji killing, but I was definitely not okay with Souji becoming a tool. I was afraid that Souji would lose sight of his humanity and become someone else I wouldn't even recognize anymore. I was terrified of losing him, of being left alone again. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he went somewhere I was not able follow. Unwilling to listen to this conversation anymore, I took the coward's choice and ran instead of facing Souji.

* * *

><p>I hid in the comfort of Kyoko-chan's futon in her room and had not moved since arriving at her family's house. I had pulled the covers over my head and curled up in fetal position underneath for hours. It was now the hour of the dog and Kyoko-chan had sat by me for the past few hours trying to comfort me.<p>

"Shizuka-chan," Kyoko-chan said as she continuously stroked my back through the futon covers in a comforting motion, "Don't you think you should go home now? The sun set two hours ago and I'm sure they're all worried about your disappearance."

I shook my head as my answer despite knowing that she couldn't see my actions under the blankets.

"If you don't want to go home then you should at least eat some dinner." Kyoko-chan said as she tried to coax me out of her futon.

I merely shook my head again. Kyoko-chan sighed before she left the room. She returned about an hour later with Father.

"Shizu-chan? What's wrong?" Father asked as if he was speaking to a spooked deer. At his question, I curled up into an even tighter ball. I didn't want to speak to Father. He was the reason Souji was so determined to become a useful tool.

The feeling of isolation I thought I had gotten rid of several years ago had begun to creep back into my life. It settled in my veins once more as fear crippled me and clung on to me. The fear of being alone poisoned me down to my very soul. I could no longer think rationally anymore. I had finally snapped mentally again.

When he realized that he wouldn't get an answer out of me he turned to Kyoko-chan for an answer.

"Did she say what was wrong?"

"No, she hasn't said a single word since arriving."

"It's been years since I last saw her break down like this… I'll take her home. Maybe Souji can coax the answer out of her. He always seems to know what to do when Shizu-chan's like this."

Father peeled back the covers and picked me up. I remained in a tight ball all the way back to headquarters. Once we got back to the Yagi house, he placed me on my futon in my room and left to find Souji. Just mere seconds after leaving, Father returned with Souji. Hijikata-san had also tagged along and was trailing behind those two. Souji crouched down in front of me and stroked my cheek gently.

"Shizuka, what's wrong?" Souji asked softly.

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't even look at him. Even though I was afraid of him leaving me behind, I couldn't face him, so I pushed him away further instead. When Souji realized I wouldn't look at him, he slipped his hand under my chin and gently forced me to look him in the eye. When our eyes connected I started to tear up and Souji's eyes widened at the drops tears rolling down my face. I quickly pulled away from Souji and buried my face into my knees. He was at a loss at what to do. I had never reacted to him in such a way before. In fact, when we were both younger, whenever I had a mental breakdown, I would always run to him. This time I was running away from him.

"Let me try." I heard Hijikata-san say when he realized Souji's attempts weren't working.

When I felt a gentle pat on my head I looked up. Hijikata-san was now crouching next to Souji and in front of me. I felt a sense of relief when I saw Hijikata-san.

_Souji is the cause of this breakdown. Hijikata-san is going to help me fix what Souji broke._ Was all that was being repeated in my head as I leapt into Hijikata-san's embrace. Even though I could not think clearly in this state, I knew I would never be able to forget the look of hurt and betrayal on Souji's face as I accepted Hijikata-san's comfort while rejecting his.

* * *

><p>After everyone left my room to rest for the night, I had laid in my futon tossing and turning. Every time I closed my eyes, I always saw Souji's back as he walked away from me. I was never able to catch up to him and always shot awake when I lost sight of him in my dreams. I had long given up trying to sleep for the night when it became clear that the nightmares would not cease. It was at this time I had finally calmed down just enough from my breakdown earlier tonight to start thinking clearly again.<p>

How did all of this happen? How did it come to the point where I needed Souji like I needed air? Without really realizing it, Souji had become my foundation in this life. He had become my foundation in this life and I had pushed him away earlier. The image of his hurt and betrayal expression flashed in my mind once more. I truly was a wretched person. How could I have hurt the man that I love?

…

…

…

…

_ … The man I love? _That epiphany hit me like a brick when I realized what I had just said mentally. How could I have not realized my true feeling until now, until after I had hurt him? This had to be the reason I was so attached to him, why I always treasured his every touch and every word, why I was always so irrational around him. I had hurt him and pushed him away earlier and I had to fix it now. I jumped out of my futon and moved with purpose towards Souji's room. When I arrived outside of his room, I slid the door open and was greeted by the sight of an empty room.

I immediately descended into a state of tearful panic. Where was Souji? What if he left because I pushed him away earlier? What if—

"Shizuka?" I heard a voice from behind.

I spun around and finally broke out into a sobbing mess. Souji was standing behind me in his normal clothing. Despite how late it was, he had not gone to bed yet. He started to panic again when he saw my tears.

"Stay here! I can go get Kondou-san or Hijikata—"

I interrupted Souji by running to him and burying my face into his chest.

"Don't leave me behind." I sobbed into his chest, "Don't go where I can't follow."

Souji was shocked by what I had blurted out and did not move for a few seconds. After he had gathered his thoughts, he wrapped his arms around me and carried me into his room. He sat down on his futon and cradled me against his chest in his lap.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said softly after kissing my forehead. "What's this about? Can you tell me?"

"I-I heard w-what you said to Sannan-san after today's m-match." I hiccupped, "I-I'm afraid that if you b-become the t-tool you're aiming to become, y-you'll become someone I no longer recognize. I don't want to be a-alone. D-don't leave me!"

Souji tightened his grip on me at my words. "I promise I won't leave you. You'll never have to be alone as long as I'm here. Shhhh, don't cry any more."

Souji stood up again and placed me in his futon. Then without changing into his sleeping robe, he crawled in too. He held me close as he ran his fingers through my hair until I stopped crying once more. I clung on to him tightly as fell into a peaceful sleep. I would be fine as long as Souji was with me. Everything would be okay.

I awoke to the gentle touch of someone running his hand down my back. I laid on top of Souji's chest as he absentmindedly stroked my back. The sun was already starting to rise. That must have meant I had over slept and the guys were now scrambling to make the missing breakfast.

"Souji?" Did he sleep at all last night? Did I keep him up all night?

"Oh, you're awake." Souji said as he smiled down at me. "Feeling better?"

I nodded before asking, "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Yeah, don't worry." he said, "You didn't keep me up last night."

I nuzzled his chest. "I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"You don't need to apologize. I understand what happened." he replied before cheekily saying, "But if you feel really guilty about what happened, then you can give me that kiss you promised me. I did win my match."

I giggled at his request, "Alright." I agreed. My mood was definitely a lot lighter than last night.

I pushed myself up off his chest a bit and gave him a nice, long steamy kiss on the lips.

"Mmm, Shizuka," Souji groaned in pleasure at the kiss as he wiggled his hips against mine.

Now that I had finally figured out my feeling for him, if he wanted to have sex now then I wouldn't stop him. If I thought about it, I probably wanted sex as much as he did if not more. While I was still a virgin in this life, I wasn't in my previous life. I could still remember the pleasures of sex and I had craved for that pleasure for a long time now. We parted for air before I kissed him deeply again. I ran my hands down his chest as I ground my hips against him. He moaned into the kiss as his hips buckled forwards a bit. A bulge was starting to form in his pants as I continued to roughly rub my hips against his lower regions. One of my hands slipped down from his chest to stroke the growing bulge through his clothing.

"Shizuka…" he panted with reddening cheeks in between kisses.

I moved that hand back up to tie holding his top closed while we were locked in another kiss and as I was about to pull it loose, Father barged into the room.

"Souji, Shizuka isn't in her room! Do you know where— EHHHHHHH?!"

And so the nice quite morning was no longer so quiet anymore. Luckily Father could only see us kissing because the blanket was covering everything below our shoulders. He didn't see what I was about to do with my hands below the blankets. Poor Souji didn't seem to know what to do in this situation. He didn't want to upset Father, but at the same time he was irritated at the interruption.

Feeling a bit rebellious, I said to Father while grinning, "Don't you know it's rude to barge into someone else's room without permission first?"

I returned to kissing Souji again as the other guys started to arrive at the scene, drawn by Father's loud yelp earlier.

"EHHHHH?!"

This time it was a loud chorus of people's voices that rang through the morning air.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"Love your Enemies, for they tell you your Faults."  
>― Benjamin Franklin, <em>Poor Richard's Almanack<em>

"You—I—He—What—Shizuka!" Father spluttered out, unable to make a complete sentence.

Now that I think about it in hindsight, that kiss plus the rebellious statement I made a bit earlier probably wasn't the best of my ideas. Father looked like he was about to have an aneurism from what he just witnessed: his young, marriageable aged daughter lying on top of the young, unmarried man that he had helped raised from age nine, kissing each other while lying on the same futon. It was every father's worst nightmare. Souji, who realized the gravity of the situation, gently pushed me off of him and into a sitting position before sitting up himself. He made sure that the blanket was still covering everything under his waist while he was in sitting position. He would have hell if he had to explain to Father about the bulge in his pants. It was better to hide it and avoid that conversation for now.

"Souji—I—How—" Father continued to say unintelligently before turning to Hijikata-san. "Toooshiiii, what do I doooo?" Father whined, feeling at loss at what to do in this situation.

"Wha—Why are you asking me Kondou-san?! I don't have any kids, much less a daughter! I wouldn't know what to do either!"

"I think both of you are over reacting." Sano-san commented, "I'm sure all of us expected something like this to happen soon. The signs were too obvious to miss."

"Whadda ya mean?!" Shinpachi-san rejected the notion, "I didn't see nothin'!"

"That because you're blinder than a bat, Shinpat-san." Heisuke said.

"Still, regardless of whether we were expecting it or not, it was still quite a shock." said Sannan-san. "There was a reason why we all cried out in surprise earlier. Right, Saito-kun?"

"Um, Um…" Saito-san stuttered while still blushing from witnessing the earlier event. Saito-san was never very good with dealing with these things.

"If this was a shock to us, imagine how Isami-san must feel. Shizuka-chan is his daughter." Gen-san pointed out. "The best thing to do right now is to sit down and have a man to man talk to straighten out the situation."

"R-right!" Father said, accepting Gen-san's suggestion.

Hijikata-san walked up to me and snagged me up by the scruff of my sleeping robe and carried me out the door before dropping me on the floor.

"Go do something else. Us men are now going to have a talk with Souji. You don't need to be here for this. Go finish up making breakfast for everyone." Hijikata-san said before closing the door in my face.

I sat stupefied on the floor outside the room for a few seconds before standing up. What just happened? As I was about to leave for the kitchen to finish up making the half finished breakfast, Shinpachi-san's muffled voice came through the closed door.

"Souji, you have an erect—oomph!" Shinpachi-san managed to say before he was silenced by what sounded like the makura hitting his face.

"Shinpachi-san, shut up." I heard Souji say. "You would have one too if the woman you love was lying on top of you and kissing you like that. In fact, I'm pretty sure you would have one if any woman was giving you that same treatment."

Oops, they did discover Souji's erection from earlier. Maybe I should stay and eavesdrop on their discussion. I might have to step in if they decided they wanted to castrate Souji out of anger…

"Shizuka!" I jumped when I heard Hijikata-san yell out my name. "I know you're still there! We won't start the talk until you leave the premises!"

… I should probably go finish cooking breakfast they started to make before their uncanny interruption. Father liked Souji, so he should be fine? I turned and headed to my room first. I needed to change out of my sleepwear first before I can start working on breakfast.

* * *

><p>"Hmph, I didn't think I would find you completely alone, even in the kitchen." a voice interrupted me when I was chopping the shiitake for the miso soup.<p>

"Go away," I said to the owner of the voice, "Your presence is enough to ruin my morning."

"Do you really think that you could order me, Serizawa Kamo, around?"

"Yes. Now go away."

Instead of going away, like I hoped he would, all Serizawa did was laugh at me. After he finished laughing, he regarded me with an amused yet serious expression.

"It's interesting to see how all the men from your Father's dojo treat you so delicately without truly seeing how dangerously manipulative you are. They're all fools."

"We all see only what we want to see. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide, either way, one's a fool." I retorted before turning around to face him. "I doubt you're here just for a friendly conversation. What the hell do you want?"

"Well, you see, yesterday before the matches started, the lieutenant general said something very particular to me. He told me get the rumors about me flying around Kyoto under control before Aizu would be forced to dispose of me." Serizawa smirked, "So instead of killing me yourself, you're going to manipulate Aizu into ordering my assassination. You're quite a clever one."

"Oh no, you see, it would be far too boring to straight out stab you. It would even be too boring to stab you in the back." I smiled maliciously, "It would be far more interesting to stab you in the back with someone else's hand. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Hahaha! Don't think I'll just stand by and let you do what you want."

"Oh? Do you think you can stop my plan?" I challenged. "If you try to harm me in anyway, everyone from Shieikan will compete to cut off your head. You cannot order me to stop saying slanderous things about you either as you are not my father nor my husband. Nor am I an official member of the Roshigumi."

"Do you think you're the only one who knows how to play this tune? I can also manipulate the conditions and force you out of the picture without laying a hand on you." Serizawa stated.

"Shall we see who gets rid of whom first then?" I asked confidently.

"Heh!" He snorted. "You know what I find very interesting? The fact that you are only 12 years younger than Kondou-san."

What? That seemed completely unrelated from our previous topic. Where was he going with this and what was he planning. I needed to be cautious around his next set of questions.

"There's no way for you to be his actual daughter by blood. He's not the type to have illegitimate children. So where did you come from? Perhaps you're the daughter of a close relative, or of a close friend of his. Or perhaps you were an abandoned child that he found." he fished.

Before I could stop myself, I flinched at the word "abandoned". Serizawa's smirk grew in size when he caught my reaction.

"So I see… I have almost everything I need. Enjoy your freedom while it last." Serizawa said before leaving the kitchen.

What did he mean by that? Did he already have everything he needed to remove me from his way? Shit. He blindsided me because I was too focused on my own plan and failed to cover one of my weak points. Which weak point did he uncover and how was I going to defend myself from his next move? When was his next move? I could only hope that he believed that I was the only person involved in the rumor spreading. Even if I was removed, as long as Serizawa didn't discover Kyoko-chan, then my plan could be completed. I had to act carefully now to avoid revealing my allies, it wouldn't do me any good if I panicked now.

I completed making breakfast about 20 minutes after my confrontation with Serizawa and the guys still hadn't emerged from their meeting inside of Souji's room. I really hoped that they didn't do anything to him. I doubt the Father would disallow him from continuing our relationship. Out of all the men that I could have ended up with, I'm sure that Father was actually pretty pleased I ended up with Souji. But even though I did end up with one of the men that Father trusted, Father would probably still lay down some ground rules for, in today's terms, "courting" me. Deciding that the "talk" had gone on long enough, I headed back to Souji's room. I wasn't about to let the breakfast I finished grow cold. If they hadn't finished their talk about now then I wasn't my problem.

"Got it?" Hijikata-san's voice filtered through closed doors. "If I see you touching Shizuka inappropriately then I'll remove your offending appendages!"

Remove, as in cut off? Geez, wasn't that going a bit too far?

"Mah. Mah, Toshi. Don't you think that's a little too harsh? If they're serious about each other then shouldn't they be allowed a certain amount of physical contact?" I heard Father's counterargument.

"You're being too lenient with Souji, Kondou-san! If you're not strict enough then Shizuka could end up pregnant before getting married first!"

"Oh! That does sound bad! But Shizu-chan has always been mature for her age, so shouldn't we trust her judgment?"

"How come no one trusts my judgment on this matter?" I heard Souji mutter.

"Because you're the guy in the relationship." came Sano-san's voice, "Plus your 'little friend' in your pants that was demanding attention earlier doesn't help your case when it comes to trusting you."

"Well, I think this discussion has gone on long enough." I heard Sannan-san say. "Breakfast should be done about now. Shizuka-chan has been standing outside for quite some time now."

"Right! Everyone's dismissed!" said Hijikata-san before he opened the door. Everyone walked out of the room in single file and headed towards breakfast, except for Father. Souji stopped in front of me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek with an impish smile.

"We'll talk in private after breakfast." Souji whispered into my ears before he followed the rest of the guys, with a spring in his step, to eat breakfast.

"Shizu-chan, come inside. We need to talk." Father called to me through the, now, open door.

I stepped past the threshold with caution and seated myself directly across from Father. He looked so serious. Even though I heard how lenient he was towards Souji, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Father let out a sigh before giving me a small friendly smile when he saw the unease on my face.

"No need to be so tense, Shizu-chan. I'm not mad. I was just a little surprise at the events of this morning."

I nodded slowly at Father's words. So he wasn't mad? That can't be the end of it. There has to be a "but" coming.

"I won't lie and say I'm not happy about this development, but I am also disappointed that you didn't tell me about your relationship with Souji." Father continued. "I had always thought that you and Souji would fit well together. I always felt like such a terrible father because I never arranged a marriage for you. But if this works out then there would be no need for me to arrange a marriage."

Right… arranged marriages… The concept of marrying for love was quite an interesting practice to the non-western countries and was almost unheard of in Asia during this time period. Because I was raised in the United States in my past life, it was always so easy to forget that most of the world in the past actually practiced arranged marriages. In fact, in the Edo period, the parents almost always arranged the marriages of their children. The cases of double suicide for young adults were not uncommon because of this practice.

"You're not a terrible father!" I said as I place my hand over Father's hand. "You took me in and raised me as your own when it would have been easier to just ignore me and let me die. Just because you never arranged a marriage for me doesn't make you a bad father. In fact, I'm glad you didn't arrange my marriage. Because my marriage was not arranged, it gives me the ability to chose who I want to be with."

Father was a wonderful person and I wouldn't stand to let him feel guilty over such a small reason when he provided an amazing life for me. Father smiled at my words.

"My little Shizu-chan…" Father said as he pat my cheek affectionately. "It would be wonderful if I could see grandchildren from you and Souji soon…"

"Grandchildren? Don't you think that's a bit fast? Don't you think it would be better for you to focus on Tamako-chan rather than on me having bearing grandchildren? Souji and I had just started courting each other and there hasn't been any talk of marriage yet."

"Well, it good to have a big family." Father reasoned. "Ah! Before I forget, I laid out some ground rules for you and Souji. The main important rule is: you two are not allowed to sleep with each other until you two get married."

"That seems fair—wait… What do you mean by 'married'?"

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious that Souji will become my son-in-law in the future. A father knows best, after all. Now why don't we go join the others for breakfast?"

What a strange and interesting morning this was. No wonder Souji was so ecstatic when he left the room earlier. The man that he admired most practically gave him his blessing to marry his daughter. My mind was split between worrying about Serizawa's threat and wondering about what Father had said about grandchildren and marriage. Hmm… maybe food will help me clear up my mind.

* * *

><p>Souji slipped into the kitchen as I was washing the dishes from breakfast this morning. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind before he playfully nipped my ear.<p>

"Busy?" he blew into my ear.

"Well, you have eyes don't you?" I retorted, "See me doing the dishes? That means busy."

Despite my answer, I put the dish I was washing back into the soapy tub and turned around in his embrace so that I was facing him. He had a playful smile on his face.

"So what is it that you need?" I asked

"I did say we'll talk after breakfast." he said. "It is now after breakfast."

"So it is." I said before I quickly gave him a peck on the lips.

Souji's expression shifted from his playful smile to a slightly exasperated expression before he spoke.

"You know, that was a pretty dirty move that you made earlier while we were kissing. When Kondou-san walked in on us, I was pretty sure I was going to be castrated when he saw me sporting an erection." he said. "I can't believe you just left me in that state."

"Well, I wasn't going to continue in front of Father. Besides, you hid it pretty well."

"Not well enough. Shinpachi-san spotted it through the blankets and announced it to everyone there. Do you know how painful it was to sit there and listen to the guys lecture me while waiting for it to go away? Hijikata-san gave me hell when he saw it. He's even more protective of you than Kondou-san is."

"Well, Father does trust me more than Hijikata-san does." I said before saying with playful sarcasm. "Oh, going back to your previous question: seeing that I don't have a penis, I doubt I will ever know how painful it was for you."

"You—" Souji said with narrowed eyes before gaining a mischievous glint.

Taking advantage of the fact that I was wearing my normal purple kimono today instead of my hakama, he quickly stuck his hands through the folds of the lower half of my kimono. Seeing that women traditionally did not wear any panties while wearing a kimono in this era, Souji did not have to fumble around with any underwear in order to reach his destination. Before he could touch my private regions any further, I quickly slapped his hand away.

"I'm pretty sure you still remember the ground rules that Father laid down from just this morning." I reprimanded him.

He pouted while nursing his hand, "Tsk! That one stupid rule is all Hijikata-san's fault. He was the one suggested 'that' to Kondou-san."

"Well I'm sure it's not all that bad. It'll be more satisfying if we wait." I defended the rule.

I could understand why Father agreed what Hijikata-san suggested. What father wouldn't? They were both just looking out for me. I decided that I would honor the set of rules that they laid out so that they wouldn't have to worry unnecessarily about me. But Souji couldn't see it from their point of view, especially if Hijikata-san was the one that came up with the "abstinence until married" part.

"Stupid, demonic, cockblocking, Hijikata-san." Souji mumbled under his breath. Well now, I think I better change the subject before he becomes grumpy for the rest of the day.

"You know, Father called you his son-in-law when he was speaking to me." I said as I turned around to finish up washing the dishes.

"Did he?" Souji asked as he brightened up considerably. He took the wet dishes from my hand and started drying them

"He also said that he's expecting grandchildren from us."

"Ho? I'd hate to disappoint Kondou-san. I guess this means we should ignore the rule that Hijikata-san came up with." he said cheekily.

I flicked some water at him. "Nice try."

He pouted at me again before he reached out and tried to grab me around the waist. I danced out of his reach before his arms could enclose me and skipped to the door. He looked at me with a confused expression when I did not return to his side to finish washing the dishes.

"Thanks for offering to finish the dishes for me." I teased.

"Eh? When did I offer to do the dishes for you?" he asked.

"Just now." I winked back at him.

"I get you for this when I catch you after I finish with the dishes." he threatened jokingly.

"You mean if you catch me."

"Oh? Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe… If you can catch me before lunchtime, I'll do anything you want."

Souji grinned wolfishly at my challenge, "Anything?"

"Anything." I said before quickly vanishing out the door.

I immediately headed over to the room Hijikata-san was working to help with the accounting. Souji wouldn't dare to try to come near me when I'm with Hijikata-san after this morning's talk. Despite Souji's love for annoying and disobeying Hijikata-san, Souji was a bit afraid that Hijikata-san would make good on his threat from this morning to cut off a certain something if he came too close to me. Souji spent the rest of the morning glaring at Hijikata-san from outside the room. He was probably hoping that his glare would vaporize Hijikata-san so that he could enter the room and steal me away. I playfully stuck out my tongue at him when morning turned into noon. Souji shot me a look of displeasure when he realized that he lost my challenge.

* * *

><p>"Awesome!" Heisuke exclaimed, "Too cool!" He quickly pulled a light blue haori from one of wooden boxes and held it up to admire it.<p>

"So that's our new uniform, eh?" Shinpachi-san said just as enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Father confirmed.

"In order to spread the Roshigumi's name throughout Kyoto, Serizawa-sensei had these made with the money that was collected in Osaka." said Niimi.

With the money that was collected in Osaka? I just checked our accounting books earlier and I didn't see any money missing from the funds. Did Serizawa pay for the uniforms with his own money? That was… uncharacteristically kind of him, unless this was done to his own benefit…

"Hey, let's go ahead and try'em on!" Heisuke said excitedly.

"Would that be okay, Serizawa-san?" asked Father.

"Sure, go ahead! Try them on"

"Sweet!" Heisuke said while spinning around with the new uniform clutched to his chest. "Gen-san, get the scissors! The scissors! We gotta cut off the tacking thread!"

"Just a moment." said Gen-san.

"Hurry! Hurry!" Heisuke exclaimed impatiently like a child.

"I'll cut it for you, so sit still for a moment!" Gen-san scolded when Heisuke wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Mine too!" added Shinpachi-san.

Sano-san, Saito-san and Souji picked up their new haori a bit more reluctantly than Heisuke and Shinpachi-san and were now examining the new uniform with a critical eye.

"Sano-san, what do you think of these coats?" asked Souji.

"I think they're a bit flashy…" Sano-san answered. "Right, Saito?"

"You have a point." said Saito.

Hijikata-san stepped up to the three and explained, "This is one way to spread word about the Roshigumi through out Kyoto. Besides, if we're all in the same uniform when we go on patrol, no one will confuse us with those rogue samurai and it prevents us from accidentally cutting down one of our own."

"Makes sense." Sano-san agreed

I reached over and plucked the blue haori from Souji's hands. "Turn around. I'll help you put it on." I offered.

Souji did as I asked and I helped him put on his new uniform. "So, how do I look?" he asked.

"Incredibly dashing." I said with a small, coy smile. Souji grinned back at me before shooting me a quick wink.

"Serizawa-san," Father called over to Serizawa, "do you have a moment?"

"Henceforth, we may receive numerous opportunities to guard Aizu's elite." stated Sannan-san. "In which case, recruiting more men will be a matter of great urgency."

"Hmph!" said Niimi. "We already thought of that and came up with a plan to—"

Niimi was interrupted when Serizawa raised his hand to signal Niimi to shut up. That was suspicious. What were those two hiding? Serizawa stepped forwards and grabbed a haori from one of the boxes.

"As long as we sell the Roshigumi's name, soldiers will come flocking to us." claimed Serizawa. "That's what these uniforms are for." He said before tossing the haori he was holding up to Hijikata-san. "Hijikata!"

Hijikata-san caught the haori with a smirk. Complete with an iron headband, all the guys followed Hijikata-san outside in their new uniforms.

"Alright guys! Let's go!" Hijikata-san said loudly with authority before putting on his own uniform. And so the guys left the headquarters in their new uniforms for their first official patrol of the city.

* * *

><p>What was taking so long? About a week after the men received their new uniforms, Serizawa and Niimi called Father, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san in for a meeting regarding an unknown topic. All the guys, me, and Ibuki-kun were now waiting in the main hall for the results of the meeting. The meeting started right after lunch and was still going on now, long after the sun had already set.<p>

"They're taking forever…" Heisuke commented. "Whatcha think Kondou-san and the others are talkin' about?"

"Orders from the Shogunate, eh?" Shinpachi-san said with crossed arms. "This smells fishy."

"Why would the Shogunate have orders for us?" I asked. "The Roshigumi hasn't made a name for itself yet, so why would the Shogunate give orders to us, let alone acknowledge us? I get the feeling that the Shogunate is just going to using the Roshigumi for some dirty jobs."

"We'll be fine." Gen-san said, trying to ease our doubts. "We have Isami-san and Toshi-san. I doubt things will turn out poorly."

"We should leave this in their hands." Saito-san said calmly.

"Ibuki-kun," Souji said mockingly, "shouldn't you be massaging Serizawa-san's shoulders?"

"He told me to say he until they are finished talking." Ibuki-kun said forcefully, unamused by Souji's mocking.

"UGAHHHWAWAH!" a loud pained scream pierced through the night.

What the hell was that?! That scream sounded like it came from within the headquarters, near the Maekawa house. We all looked at each other before grabbing our weapons and heading towards the source of that scream. I gripped my naginata tightly as I followed the guys. I couldn't shake the ominous feeling that was pooling in my stomach, something was wrong.

* * *

><p>Yay! Dragon Age III just came out! Too bad I don't have the money to buy it right now. Can anyone spot the quote in this chapter that I pulled from the first Dragon Age game?<p> 


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"While one may encounter many defeats, one must not be defeated."

― Maya Angelou

"What was with that scream?" Heisuke yelled as we all ran towards the source of that scream.

"Somethin' serious is goin' down!" said Shinpachi-san as he ran right behind Heisuke.

Heisuke and Shinpachi-san came to a stop in front of the closed gate of the Maekawa house before trying to push the gate open, but the doors refused to open. The doors were locked. Why? What was going on behind those doors? All the highest positioned leaders of the Roshigumi were at the Maekawa house for the meeting. Maybe they had something to do with that scream. I seriously hoped that Father, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san had nothing to do with that spine chilling scream.

"Get those doors open!" I yelled. We had to get in!

"Huh?" Heisuke exclaimed with a strained voice when door still refused to budge.

"What's wrong?" Shinpachi-san asked from behind Heisuke.

"It won't open!" Heisuke yelled back as he continued to pound on the door with his fist.

"Damn, what's happening to him?!" a voice called from over the walls, "Toshi! Sannan-kun! Don't let him get out!"

That was Father's voice! What the hell was going on behind those walls?! We needed to get in there and deal with the situation at once.

"Shinpachi-san, smash those doors open!" I yelled, "We need to get in there right now!"

"Move, Heisuke!" Shinpachi-san pushed Heisuke out of the way before kicking the doors off their hinges and rushing in to the Maekawa compound. Heisuke and Souji followed Shinpachi-san closely as they rushed into the compound too.

"Gen-san, look after things here." Saito-san ordered calmly.

"Yeah." Gen-san answered.

"Sano, Shizuka, secure the front." Saito-san finished before running in after the others.

Ibuki-kun, who came along with all of us when we started running towards the Maekawa house, grit his teeth when he did not receive any orders and began making his way pass the gate.

"Ibuki-kun!" exclaimed Gen-san.

"You'll only get in our way if you tag along." Souji said to Ibuki-kun.

Souji had running stopped after entering the Maekawa estate to wait for Saito-san. As soon as Saito-san ran through the gate, both men ran inside the main building together.

"Wh-what was that?!" Ibuki-kun yelled back angrily.

As Ibuki-kun was about to resume his previous action, Sano-san grabbed Ibuki-kun's shoulder and shook his head at him, stopping Ibuki-kun from going any further.

"We can't focus on our objective if we have to protect you too." I said seriously, "If you cannot draw you blade even when you're threatened then you have no business being here."

We would put ourselves at a disadvantage if we allowed Ibuki-kun to come along. He couldn't fight or defend himself, useless dead weight and very dangerous to have around if a fight was going to break out. After I said my piece, I ran through the gate and around the main building to the front. Sano-san followed in after me and, despite what I said earlier, Ibuki-kun followed us onto the Maekawa estate. Gen-san remained at the gate as Saito-san instructed.

As Sano-san and I arrived at our destination, we could hear fighting inside the main building. Sano-san and I glanced at each other before getting into our battle positions. Ibuki-kun watched both of us nervously from behind before gripping the handle of his katana with unease.

"What are you doing here?!" I yelled back harshly at Ibuki-kun.

Why the hell didn't he listen to what I said earlier?! We didn't have time to deal with his shit right now. He was a liability on the battlefield and he needed to leave. There was no guarantee that Sano-san and I could protect him if we were attacked by whoever was fighting the others inside the building right now. Ibuki-kun flinched at the tone of my voice.

"If you lack the resolve to kill someone when you draw that, get out of here!" Sano-san agreed with me firmly.

As soon as Sano-san was finished speaking, the front door of the house was smashed open by Shinpachi-san back as he was forcefully thrown at the door. Shinpachi-san landed on his back on the ground right in front of us.

"Shinpachi!" Sano-san yelled in worry for his friend.

Shinpachi-san, who was bruised pretty badly, didn't say anything as he struggled to get back up on his feet. An animalistic sound was coming closer to our position. Whatever threw Shinpachi-san against the door like that was just on the other side of the doorway. Sano-san and I quickly positioned ourselves in front of Shinpachi-san when it was revealed that Shinpachi-san was having difficulty standing back up again.

"Shizuka!" Sano-san yelled to me, "I'll take the left and you take the right! When it comes out, we'll immobilize it!"

"Aim for the tendons." I replied as I tightened my focus, "If we cut the tendons, then our opponent won't be able to fight back, much less move."

"Be careful, Sano, Shizuka!" I heard Saito-san yell towards us from another opening in the building.

"There's something weird about him!" Souji warned as he came around the corner.

I tightened my grip on my weapon. If Souji and Saito-san couldn't take down whatever was inside and if Shinpachi-san was tossed around like a rag doll, then this opponent must have been extremely strong. Souji, Saito-san, and Shinpachi-san were definitely no pushovers when it came to fighting and were some of the strongest men I knew. Just who or what was this opponent?

A few milliseconds after we received the warning, a white-haired man leapt out of the darkness of the building and raised his sword to strike out at us. Sano-san deflected the blow with his spear and while the man was still mid-flight from his leap, I used my naginata to knock him away. The man landed on his feet a few feet back and Sano-san stabbed the man in the left arm while I slashed him in the back of his right leg, effectively severing his right lateral hamstring tendons.

…

…

…

Something wasn't right. The man wasn't screaming in pain from his injuries nor did he collapse when I slashed at his leg. It should have been impossible that the man was still standing. The tendons attaching his hamstrings to his bones had been severed; his leg should have been unable to support him anymore so how was he still standing?

The man grabbed Sano-san's spear and began to laugh. I quickly examined the wound I inflicted on the man and I saw that it was no longer there! I knew that I had cut him and there was blood around the area where his wound was to prove that he was injured! How did it disappear? If this man instantly healed then there was no way he was a normal human or even a human at all! I should have noticed it before! The speed and the strength he possessed were inhumane; the unnatural snow white hair with the glowing red eyes, along with the animalistic growling from earlier all told me that he was no ordinary human.

This creature also showed in his attack earlier that it showed no rational thought. No sane living creature would rush at danger without a thought and then laugh when horribly injured. It hurt to be stabbed by a blade of any sort. It also seemed to show no sense of self-preservation either. While its attack earlier was incredibly fast and strong, it had no logical strategy. I quickly leapt backwards near Ibuki-kun after quickly processing my thoughts.

"Get back! Your attack had no effect on it!" I yelled at Sano-san, but it was too late.

After grabbing Sano-san's spear, the thing picked Sano-san off the ground and tossed him to the side near Shinpachi-san.

"Sano-san!" Heisuke yelled as he emerged from the building.

The creature then pulled the spear out of his arm and tossed it to the floor. This was then, in the moonlight, we all saw the creature's wound close and heal immediately. That bastard could regenerate! No wonder everyone was having such a difficult time fighting this thing. It was unhampered by pain, it could instantly regenerate, and it behaved differently from a typical human being. This thing was far too different from the other opponents the guys had faced in the past.

"The injury—!" Sano-san said in shock as everyone's eyes widened at the phenomenon.

After dropping Sano-san's spears on the ground, the creature turned and focused its attention on Ibuki-kun. Ibuki-kun quickly drew his sword instead of running. That fool! There was no way he stood a chance.

"Run for it, Rynosuke!" Sano-san yelled as Souji, Saito-san, and Heisuke ran forward to try and stop the creature.

I readied my weapon once more and positioned myself in front of Ibuki-kun. If that thing could regenerate then I would have to be able to make sure that it wouldn't get the chance to regenerate, I would have to strike to kill in one hit.

It was true that I despised the act of kill, but this was different. This thing was threatening my family. I would gladly become commit a crime I hated if that meant I could keep the ones I loved safe. I will not hesitate if I could protect my family by killing.

As the thing leapt towards me and Ibuki-kun with uncontrolled force and speed, I held my naginata firmly and aimed my weapon towards its throat. My grip on my weapon had to be steadfast if I wanted to hit where I was aiming. I most likely only had one chance to strike. This creature was faster and stronger than me, but its fatal weakness was that it held no reasoning abilities. The winner of a battle was not always the fastest or the strongest, but the winner was usually the one that could outwit and outmaneuver the opponent. Using the creature's own momentum, I held my weapon in one place and allowed the creature to impale itself on my weapon. My blade pieced all the way through the creature's neck, between the C3 and C4 vertebrae, and I left my weapon in the stab wound to prevent that thing from regenerating. No matter how amazing a creature's regenerating ability is, there would be no way for the wound to heal if there was an obstruction in the wound.

Most people believe would believe the only way to ensure instant death in one blow was to stab the heart or cut off the head, but that is not the case. The nerves protected in the spine between the C3, C4, and C5 vertebrae were the nerves that controlled the diaphragm, the muscle that controls the lungs. When the nerves in those locations are damaged, the diaphragm will no longer be able to receive signals from the brain and the diaphragm would cease to move. Again, it did not matter how amazing one's regenerative ability was, if the body did not receive any oxygen then it would die. Dying from a lack of oxygen was very different from dying from injuries. There would be nothing to regenerate.

When the creature grew limp and ceased all movements, I pulled my weapon out and let the body fall to the ground before quickly stabbing it in the heart for good measure. I wasn't about to wait for it to move again if it wasn't dead yet. A friend from my past life once said: If you hit don't your adversaries while they're down, they might get up again. Granted, he may have gotten it from a card game he played, but it was still a good concept that I could apply here.

"Quick, get away from him, Shizuka! He can—" Sano-san yelled towards me before I interrupted him.

"He won't be able to heal up and attack again if he's dead. Take a closer look, he isn't breathing and the wounds aren't regenerating."

"She's right." a voice came from around the building. Hijikata-san arrived on the scene with Sannan-san and Father.

"Supposedly you can kill it by piecing its heart or heading it." said Sannan-san.

…So they were involved with this creature and its scream we heard earlier. They wouldn't know this information if they weren't involved.

"Is everyone uninjured?" Father asked as he quickly surveyed each of us.

"Kondou-san!" Souji said, relieved to see Father uninjured.

"Are you alright?" Saito-san asked the three superior officers.

"We're all fine." I answered Father's question as I helped Sano-san pull Shinpachi-san to his feet. "A few of us are pretty bruised, but it's nothing some rest and time won't fix."

"Dang, what the heck was that?" Shinpachi-san asked as he held his bruised abdomen.

Instead of answering Shinpachi-san, Hijikata-san turned to Ibuki-kun with a sharp look. Ibuki-kun still had his sword drawn in front of him and was shaking like a leaf. In less delicate terms, he looked like he was about to shit himself.

"If you lack any real resolve, don't waltz onto a battlefield." Hijikata-san harshly scolded Ibuki-kun. "Shizuka is the weakest one out of all of us here and you made her protect you. If she didn't have such a good head on her shoulders then she would have been killed and you responsible for her death."

Ibuki-kun did not take Hijikata-san's scolding very well and looked down in shame while grinding his teeth. Everyone else circled around the corpse and observed Sannan-san as he surveyed the corpse.

"I've seen that face before." Sano-san said after scrutinizing the face of the corpse.

"Saito, Harada!" Hijikata-san called. "Sorry, but I need you to carry him inside."

"'kay."

"Very well." both replied as they prepare to carry the corpse inside.

"Everyone, please gather in the hall. We need to talk." Hijikata-san said before turning back to Ibuki-kun. "That includes you, Ibuki."

"Huh?" said Ibuki-kun as he jumped in surprise at Hijikata-san's orders.

"You saw him." Hijikata-san explained seriously.

Serizawa, Niimi, and a bald man that I had never seen before joined us before we all started walking towards the hall.

* * *

><p>We all sat in the main hall as the bald man, whose name was Yukimura Kodo, explained to us what had happened earlier. A small capped jar of a bloodlike fluid was place in front of him.<p>

"The Bakufu obtained this through foreign trade." Yukimura explained. "This medicine is called the 'Water of Life'. If you drink this, your abilities in battle will substantially increase. At the same time, you will obtain remarkable healing abilities. But on the other hand, you will lose the power of thought and your sanity."

"Meaning that it isn't full of nothing but perks, eh?" said Serizawa.

"What an ill named creation." I commented. "You don't only lose the power of thought and sanity, but you die faster too. In the body, a healthy, normal cell can only multiply a certain amount of times before it dies. In order to regenerate at such a rapid speed, the drinker's cells will have to multiply at an increased speed to heal the injury, causing the cells to die at a much faster pace. When enough of the cells in the body dies, there will be no longer be enough cells left for the body to function properly. Thus, premature death is imminent. The name 'Psycho Serum' would fit it better."

"Indeed. To top it off, they can only exercise those powers in the dark. We call those who drink the medicine and exhibit these powers 'rasetsu." Yukimura continued to explain.

"The way he looked…" said Shinpachi-san as he contemplated the information, "He certainly looked like a rasetsu."

Sano-san, who was seated next to Shinpachi-san, looked like he was thinking on that information too before his face lit up in what appeared to be realization.

"I remember!" Sano-san exclaimed. "That was Iesato!"

"That's right." Hijikata-san said while closing his eyes in guilt.

""Iesato…?" Heisuke asked. His face froze in horror when he remembered before yelling, "Wasn't he one of the guys who left Edo with us?"

"You used one of our pals to test out some crazy medicine?!" Shinpachi-san yelled out in outrage. Father lowered his gaze with guilt and regret at the outburst.

"He was supposed to slice open his gut for breaking the code." said Niimi, "It's the same punishment."

"That's no excuse!" Shinpachi-san yelled as he rejected the explanation.

"He didn't get to die by seppuku!" Serizawa said with an annoyed tone, "That's the only difference!"

"No that's not." I objected. "The end result of his death is the same, but the impact of his death on the living changes with how he died. Each action taken sends ripples through out time and space and affects each person differently. Because of how inhumanely he died, you will find little support for following the Bakufu's orders in experimenting on this 'Water of life'. Furthermore, there shouldn't be any experiments done on human lives in the first place. Playing God with a substance we barely understand will come back and bite us in the ass one day."

"What Shizuka said is true." said Hijikata-san, "Serizawa-san, I am against experimenting with this medicine. When Iesato became a rasetsu, he didn't recognize us at all!"

"I am of like mind." agreed Father.

"But according to Yukimura-dono, there is still plenty of room for improvement." Niimi said, still in support for testing out the Water of Life.

Angered by what Niimi said, Hijikata-san yelled back, "And to test it out, you'd have to experiment on another person again!"

"The Shogunate ordered us to do this!" Niimi argued back.

"There's no reason to obey an unreasonable order."

Just as Niimi was about to lose the argument to Hijikata-san, Serizawa spoke. His words were aimed at Hijikata-san's weak spot.

"Generally, warriors consider obeying orders from the Shogunate to be virtuous, even if they are unreasonable orders."

"Serizawa-san, you…!"

"Although I don't expect one not born into a warrior family to understand."

"What was that?!" Hijikata-san yelled back at Serizawa angrily.

"Toshi!" Father said to stop the ongoing argument.

"Considering our current standing," Sannan-san reasoned, "we cannot ignore the will of the Shogunate."

"Sannan-san…" Hijikata-san aghast.

"However, if there is still room for improvement, I feel it wise for Niimi-san to step down from his position as chief and concentrate on his research so that there is not a repeat of what just happened." Sannan-san suggested.

"What!?" Niimi exclaimed. He clearly didn't want to lose his high position of power. "Th-that's absurd! I-I could never step down—"

"Very well." Serizawa interrupted Niimi's protests with an agreement to Sannan-san's suggestions.

"S-Serizawa-sensei!" Niimi exclaimed before he was quickly silenced by Serizawa's icy glare. "V-very well."

Sannan-san smiled, "Then Niimi-san and Kodo-san will conduct experiments on the medicine. I shall offer you my assistance. Shizuka-chan's medical experience may also come into use."

Well that was kind of Sannan-san to throw me into the fire like that. He knew I disapproved of the experiments, but at the same time he also knew how much I mistrusted Serizawa and Niimi. Sannan-san was offering me a chance to personally keep an eye on Niimi. I wouldn't let this chance go to waste. I could keep an eye on Niimi and sabotage the Water of Life at the same time—

"No, she will not be offering anything." said Serizawa. "She is not officially a part of the Roshigumi, which brings up the question: why is she even here in the first place? She should leave."

"Ah! Well you see, she's our physician." Father reasoned. "She may not officially be a part of the Roshigumi, but she is very much needed here."

"No, she's as needed here as much as you say she is." Serizawa argued back. "Kodo-san is a western trained doctor ordered here by the Bakufu. He can replace her."

"Shizu-chan is my daughter and I would like to keep her under my care." Father said as he tried to protect me from being forced to leave.

At Father's words, Serizawa smirked. "She's not your daughter by blood. You found her abandoned as a baby, didn't you?"

Father was shocked into silence when the secret was revealed. My nails cut into the palm of my hand when Serizawa announced his discovery. Only few people knew of my true origins. Hijikata-san, Souji, and Tsune-san were the only ones that knew about my abandonment.

"What?!" exclaimed Heisuke, "Shizuka isn't your daughter by blood, Kondou-san?!"

"Heh!" Serizawa said triumphantly, "She's lower than a farmer's daughter! She's an unwanted girl that should have died the day she was abandoned. She is also a young unmarried woman living with a group of unmarried men. A young unmarried woman is a distraction to all possible recruits and there should be a proper example set for the recruits. No woman should be allowed here without an actual blood relation or husband in the Roshigumi. She is a distraction and will give the recruits reason to undermine their superiors' authority. She needs to leave."

Father was at a loss for words. Shit what was I going to do now? There had to be some way I could stay, anything—

"While she isn't Kondou-san's daughter by blood and is still unmarried, she is going to be my wife." said Souji as he leapt to my defense. "You won't have any complaints if she's married to a member of the Roshigumi, right?"

Wife?! I quickly turned my head and stared at Souji. His defiant look he carried on his face told me that he was serious about making me his wife. Father seemed to be as equally shocked as I was. What a development this was.

"Oh? When are you two getting married then?" Serizawa asked amusingly.

"In a week, there's no point in sending Shizuka away just to bring her back after one week, is there?" challenged Souji.

"No there isn't." Serizawa agreed before he turned to face me with a smirk, "You better be careful with the way you behave as his wife. He'll be responsible for every action you take, so best be careful not to do anything that will force him to perform seppuku."

I narrowed my eyes at Serizawa. That was well played. When he could not remove me from the Roshigumi, he restricted the amount of actions I could take. I could not continue my original plan to dispose of Serizawa without putting Souji in danger, but Serizawa made a fatal mistake. He thought he could stop my plan from succeeding by restricting my movements alone. I was not someone without allies. If I was ever unable to complete my plan, Kyoko-chan was to take over for me. I may now be unable to personally continue with my plan to dispose of Serizawa, but that did not mean my plan would cease to continue to work.

"Well I'm sure you two have plenty to talk about now." Serizawa said smugly. "I'll leave to give you two some privacy."

Serizawa left the main hall with Niimi and Yukimura following after him. Awkward silence filled the main hall before Father spoke seriously, "Everyone is dismissed. Souji, Shizuka, stay here. I need to talk to the both of you privately."

"Wait!" Shinpachi-san said. "Is what Serizawa-san said true?" Is Shizuka-chan really not your blood daughter?"

Father looked away and Hijikata-san shook his head at Shinpachi-san to silence him. Hijikata-san then slowly ushered everyone out of the main hall leaving Souji, Father and I alone together. Souji stood up from his seat and walk to the back of the room where I was seated. He took me by the hand and led me closer to were Father was seated before sitting both of us down directly in front of Father.

"I knew one day that the both of you would get married, but I had hoped it would have been a more joyous occasion." Father said sorrowfully. "It happened this way because of my inability to protect Shizu-chan… Are you sure about this is what you want Souji?"

Souji tightened his grip around my hand, "Yes, Kondou-san. I already decided on Shizuka a long time ago."

"I see. Then I offer you the one of my greatest treasures. Please protect her when I cannot."

"I promise I will." Souji said before pressing a kiss onto my forehead.


	32. Chapter 32

**Warning:** sexual content

The grammar errors were bothering me in this chapter so I went back to fix them.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

"I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest—blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine."

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Souji smiled gently down at me after his lips left my forehead and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He was always so kind and gentle to me. He always made me feel loved and special, something I'm sure many women searched for but never found. Despite the circumstances of my spontaneous engagement, I found that it was impossible to be upset with the recent developments. The way that Souji jumped in to protect me from Serizawa forcing me away from the Roshigumi spoke volumes to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What do we do next?" I asked Father. Marriage was completely new territory to me and I felt a bit lost when it came to taking the next step.

"The wedding's in a week…" Father said quietly as the pondered his thoughts. "How are we going to plan this wedding? We can't do a traditional yome-iri…"

That was true. A yome-iri wasn't going to work with me and Souji. A yome-iri was the typical wedding ceremony in the Edo era and was quite different from the western weddings I was so accustom to and also very different from the modern day traditional Japanese wedding. In a yome-iri, the ceremony began on the groom's side. There would be a long procession formed by the groom and his family to go visit the bride's house. The groom's side would carry a barrel of sake and gifts to the bride's house and when they arrived at the bride's house, the bride-giving side would be waiting to host a banquet for the bride-receiving group. The two groups would then be introduced to each other and the presentation of gifts and the serving of the sake from the groom's side would then occur. After the banquet at the bride's house, another long procession would be formed, but this time with both parties heading to the groom's house. The bride's family would bring with them to the groom's house a barrel of sake, gifts, and nagamochi. When the procession arrived, the groom's house another banquet would begin. The bride's side would serve the sake they brought and present the groom's family with gifts that were brought. When the banquet ended, the marriage ceremony would be completed and the now newly wed couple would go consummate the marriage.

A yome-iri would have been impractical for Souji and me because we already lived together. Furthermore, Souji's family now only consisted of his elder sister's family, left Souji in the care of Father. No, the typical yome-iri was not going to work, so we were probably going to have to do a Shinto wedding ceremony at a temple.

The Shinto wedding was attended by the couple's closest kin and held at a temple. In this wedding ceremony, the highlight is when the couple drinks sake from the same cup, which is a traditional expression of taking an oath. One by one, three cups were to be passed between the bride and groom. Both the bride and the groom would take three sips from each cup, representing the taking of an oath three times by three sips. The ceremony of taking three sips per each three cups was known as the san-san-kudo, meaning the taking of an oath nine times.

"We would have to do a Shinto wedding." Souji told Father as Father began to look strained from his thoughts.

"AH! I forgot about that!" Father exclaimed. "I'll run to a temple first thing tomorrow morning to arrange a time for the wedding. You two can leave now. I'm sure you two have some things to talk about."

"Okay." I nodded.

After Souji and I bid Father a good night, Souji led me to his room to speak to me.

"So what did you do to make Serizawa lash out at you like that?" he asked me. There was no anger in the question, just curiosity.

"Remember when we first arrived in Kyoto?" I asked. "You asked me why I didn't do anything yet after declaring war on Serizawa. I officially started my attacks on him after we got news that clan Aizu was going to support the Roshigumi. The reason he was attacking me earlier was to retaliate against my own attacks."

Souji sighed at my answer before crossing his arms. "I remember. I also remember asking you to let me know when you were going to begin your attacks. Care to tell me why you neglected to tell me?"

I looked away from him before I answered him, "Because it wasn't just a series of attacks on him to annoy him."

"What were you doing then?" he asked me gently after he placed a hand on my cheek to make me face him again.

"All the actions Serizawa took on the way to Kyoto revealed that he is too unpredictable and dangerous to have in the Roshigumi, not mention he's a complete and total bastard. I came up with a plan to remove him from the Roshigumi and he caught on to my plan. He sought to remove me before I removed him. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to get caught in the crossfire."

"So that's why he was trying to force you to leave… but instead of forcing you to leave, he limited your freedom by using me…" Souji said quietly. "What was your plan?"

"I was going to render him useless after he got clan Aizu to sponsor the Roshigumi so that we would have no reason to keep him in the Roshigumi. For that phase of my plan, I came up with a method to bring in large amounts of income without using any violence so that everyone would chose to rely on me instead Serizawa. The next phase of my plan was to strip Serizawa of his reputation through the use of rumors. If I could change the state of his reputation into a terrible reputation, then the Roshigumi would be forced to remove him before he damaged the Roshigumi any further. If my plan succeeds then clan Aizu will order his assassination to save face and protect their name from getting tarnished."

"If your plan succeeds? Don't you mean if your plan had succeeded?" Souji asked me when he noticed I didn't switch to past tense.

"Serizawa can try to limit my freedom as much as he wishes to stop my plan, but it won't work." I grinned at Souji, "Kyoko-chan's going to take over for me."

"Ha! No wonder Serizawa-san wanted to get rid of you so badly. But at the same time I am glad he caught you. Because of him, you're going to be my wife, my family." Souji said softly towards the end as he placed both of his hand on my.

My expression softened at Souji's last sentence. I knew that after his sister left him at Father's dojo, he had been longing for an actual family, not just close friends to fill that empty space in his heart. His relationship to Father may have filled the empty space fairly well, but it did not fill it completely. Serizawa may have been a complete bastard that I would hate for all eternality, but I could thank him for causing my marriage to Souji.

"I was already yours long before this." I told him. "Marriage just means that we can start having sex after the wedding." I said mischievously before I leaned in to kiss him passionately.

* * *

><p>I was jolted awake when someone jumped onto my futon early, early, early in morning.<p>

"Get up! We have so much to talk about!" I heard Kyoko-chan's cheerful voice before she started shaking me awake.

…Wait… what was Kyoko-chan doing here and why so early in the morning? I immediately shot up into sitting position. Kyoko-chan froze comically at my sudden movement.

"What are you doing here so early in the morning? No one sane wakes up at this hour! Furthermore, how did you even get in?" I asked.

Seriously, it was only the hour of the ox. If translated into western time then it would be around 3:00 a.m. in the morning. And I was pretty sure the front gates were locked at this hour.

"Your dad came to ask my dad to help book a time slot at a temple last night. You're getting married at the end of this week! I couldn't wait until the sun came up, so you have to tell me all the juicy details now!" she said as she shook me

"You still haven't told me how you got in yet. I'm pretty sure the front gates are locked." I pointed out.

"Oh! I climbed over the walls." She said nonchalantly.

What? In the kimono she was wearing and without making any sound? Should I? Nope I'm not going to ask. Something are better off being unknown.

"So how did the engagement happen? Why are you getting married so fast? Your getting married before I do and my marriage was arranged when I was eleven! Tell meeeeeee!" she continued to hound me.

"Long story short, Serizawa caught on to my plan and tried to force me to leave. Souji jumped in and said that he would marry to allow me to stay."

"So he protected you? That's so romantic!" she gushed. Her reaction was over the top… well she is a romantic at heart. "So how did he jump in? Did he—"

"Who are you talking to Shizuka?" Hijikata-san's voice called in from outside. He slid my open door and froze in shock as he stared at Kyoko-chan. "You! How did you get in?!"

"Why does everyone ask me that?" asked Kyoko-chan. Like she didn't understand why! It was totally unnatural for anyone to just pop up out of nowhere like her! "I just climbed over the walls." she said before turning to me again. "So did he—"

"What do you mean you 'just climbed over the walls'?! How the hell did you do that in a kimono without making any noise?!" Hijikata-san yelled.

"Stop interrupting me!" Kyoko-chan complained. "Plus you're too loud! You'll wake everyone up!"

"What's with all the yelling?" I heard Heisuke's voice ask as he approached the scene. "We're all supposed to be sleep— EH?! What are you doing here Kyoko-chan?!"

"Don't bother asking, you'll never get a straight answer out of her." I said exasperated. "Hijikata-san, Heisuke, if you guys are going to stay and talk then come in. Don't clutter up the hallway."

Both men looked at each other before entering the room. Heisuke slid the door shut before sitting down next to Hijikata-san and in front of me and Kyoko-chan.

"SOOO, did he—" Kyoko-chan started again only to get interrupted again.

"Shizuka-chan, was what Serizawa-san said true? Were you really abandoned as a baby?"

"Stop interrupt—wait, what?" Kyoko-chan said. "You were abandoned as a baby? I knew you were adopted, but you never told me that you were abandoned."

I looked away uncomfortably. There was a reason I never really told anyone. There was a stigma attached to abandoned babies and I didn't want anyone treating me differently. When Hijikata-san saw my unease he answered for me.

"Kondou-san found Shizuka as an infant abandoned in an old fishing boat that washed up on the riverbank when he was twelve. No one really knows what village she originally came from or even who her mother is."

"Don't call that woman my mother." I glared at Hijikata-san. "She may have given birth to me, but she was no mother. No real mother would leave her child to die."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kyoko-chan asked, looking hurt. "I would have never treated you differently."

"I know." I sighed. "I spent so long hiding my origins that it has just become instinct. I never meant to keep it from you. Same with you, Heisuke."

"Do you know why you were abandoned?" asked Heisuke before he was whacked on the head by Kyoko-chan. "OUCH!"

"Of course she doesn't! She was only an infant so she wouldn't be able to remember." Kyoko-chan scolded. "And you don't ask people these types of questions!"

"She abandoned me because I was a product of rape." All three of them froze when they heard my answer. "As strange and unnatural it is for me to be able to remember, I can. I even remember my own birth."

"Seriously?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in shock.

I nodded. "The reason I'm so small is because the woman who gave birth to me was so distressed over her pregnancy that it resulted in premature labor. I was born a few weeks too early. After I was born, she never fed me regularly so I never grew properly. When she had enough of me, she placed me in an abandoned fishing boat and sent it down the river. Father found me the next day."

"Does Kondou-san know everything you just said?" Hijikata-san asked after a moment of silence.

"No, only Souji knows everything."

After I finished explaining, I pulled my blanket over my head and laid back down on the futon.

"I'm going back to sleep." I said from under my blanket. "Everyone go back and sleep."

Instead of going home, Kyoko-chan kicked my side.

"Ouch!"

"Move over. I'm staying here tonight." She said before she began to continuously nudging me with her foot. "Move, move, move!"

"Ouch! Hey!" I protested as I scooted to the opposite side to avoid her foot.

Before I knew it, a space had opened up next to me and Kyoko-chan slipped in next to me in my futon.

"Don't just stand there!" she scolded to both Hijikata-san and Heisuke who just sat there flabbergasted at her behavior. "Go back to your rooms and sleep."

Both men scrambled to there feet and quickly left the room to avoid Kyoko-chan's wrath.

"So, I am invited to the wedding, right?" she asked me to cheer me up by moving to a happier topic.

* * *

><p>"You're so pretty!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed as she finished helping me put on my white kosode and a red patterned uchikake in a private room of the temple. "Souji-san won't be able to keep his hands off of you."<p>

"Really?" I asked doubtfully.

What was so pretty about a pure white kosode? Maybe she was talking about the red uchikake. I quickly adjusted my tsunokakushi to keep it from becoming crooked. The tsunokakushi was an interesting piece of my wedding attire. The tsunokakushi was a white floss silk headdress that was used to cover the bride's figurative horns. The "horns" of a bride represented jealousy, ego and selfishness. The tsunokakushi was used symbolized the bride's resolve to become an obedient and gentle wife and symbolically removed the "horns".

"Shizu-chan? Can I come in?" Father called in from the other side of the closed door.

"Yes." I called back.

Father entered the room. He was bursting with happiness and excitement.

"Everything is ready. Souji is already waiting for you in front of the entrance to temple." Father said happily. "It's a pity Tsune can't travel here with Tamako-chan for the wedding, but she did sent you her best wishes."

Father offered me his hand as he spoke. I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the front of the temple where Souji was waiting for me. When we arrived at our destination, Souji smiled gently at me as reached out his hand to take my hand from Father's. I accepted his hand and he pulled me closer to him. I flushed slightly as I looked up at him. He looked really handsome dressed in formal wedding attire. He wore a solid black montsuki accompanied by a pair of white striped hakama. Over the montsuki, he wore a black haori that possessed his family's crest stitched onto the back. His haori was loosely tied shut with a himo.

"Let's go." Souji said softly to me before we entered through the front of the temple together. Everyone else followed us in from behind.

Souji and I came to a stop when we arrived in front of the altar. To perform the first step of the wedding, everyone bowed towards the altar to become purified symbolically. This was known as the shubatsu-no-gi. The attendees took their seats after shubatsu-no-gi was completed. The Shinto priest move to take his place for the norito-soujou. He turned towards the altar and spoke a ritual prayer that was used to invoke the gods and to report the marriage to the emperor before he poured the sake into the three cups that was used for the san-san-roku. I took the first cup of sake and took the first sip before passing it to Souji. I can't believe my first sips of alcohol in this life were at my own wedding. Hopefully this won't be the last time I get to drink alcohol.

After the san-san-roku was completed, we stepped closer to the altar for the seishi-soujou, which was the taking of the wedding vow. Speaking in a loud and audible voice, Souji read the vows while facing the altar:

"We make this marriage vow respectfully before the Hachiman deity.

We Souji and Shizuka are delighted to be able to make our vows on this great day  
>and to become husband nad wife through the blessing of the Hachiman deity.<p>

We swear before the Hachiman deity to love and respect each other forever  
>and to strive to bring our family prosperity<p>

Moreover, we swear never to veer from the true path of matrimony  
>and to work to share the divine grace of Hachiman deity by helping people and society."<p>

After finishing the seishi-sojou, a miko then presented us with a sakura branch for us to place on the altar as an offering for the gods in the tamagushi-hairei. We took the branch and placed it on the altar before bowing twice then clapping twice. The completion of the seishi-souji marked the safe end of the marriage ritual. For the final part of the wedding, there was the shinzokuhai-no-gi, which literally meant drinking rice wine together. Everyone in the audience was passed small cups of sake. Drinking the sake together was usually used to strengthen the bond between the couple's relatives. It was a bit obsolete here because everyone in attendance was all originally close friends from Shieikan. No one here was actually related to anyone by blood, but we were all practically family anyways.

* * *

><p>After arriving back at the Yagi house, a party was started and quickly moved into full swing. Instead of staying for the banquet, Souji and I were supposed to retreat to our new room and consummate the marriage. Souji took my hand and lead us to our new room. When we arrived right outside our new room, I decided to play a joke on Souji. It was probably cruel, but I couldn't help myself.<p>

"We can't have sex tonight. I'm on my flow." I lied. Souji looked at me like I just killed a kitten. I giggled at his expression, "I'm just kidding—"

Souji narrowed his eyes at me before quickly pulling me into the room and shut the door, interrupting what I was saying before.

"That wasn't funny." He glared at me.

"Yes, it was—" I said before I was interrupted again.

Souji's lips came crashing onto mine as he pulled me into a fiery kiss. His tongue plunged into my mouth as soon as our lips connected. While one of his arms was wrapped around my waist to pull me close, he used his other hand to quickly pull the tsunokakushi off my head along with the hair ordainments. He dropped everything on the floor before he rushed to pull my hair out of its confinements. After he pulled my hair down he drew back briefly for a breath of air before he resumed his heated kiss. I nipped his lower lip gently during the kiss as he impatiently pushed the uchikake off my shoulders. He moved his lips from mine to the side of my neck after the uchikake fell to the floor.

I sharply sucked in a breath of air when his lips found a particularly sensitive spot on my neck. Hearing the change in my breathing, Souji focused his attention on my sensitive spot as he used his hands to untie my obi. When he fully removed my obi and dropped on it on the ground, kosode fell open. Souji pulled away from my neck and backed away slightly to get a full look at me. He watched with an unreadable expression as he pushed the white kosode off of my shoulders, leaving me completely bare and naked in his presence for the first time. I shivered in pleasure when Souji reached out to lightly run his hand down me side. He kissed me once more before picking me up and walking over to the futon further in the room. He placed me on the futon before he quickly began to remove his own clothing. His clothes were tossed to the floor in a rush as he undressed himself. By the time the got to his hakama, I could already see a large bulge in his pants.

When all of his clothing was removed, he quickly crawled on top of me. He pressed his erection into my lower stomach as he moved to kiss me again. His hands moved to my breasts during the kiss and he gave them a squeeze.

"Mmm! Souji!" I gasped out as my hips buckled forwards when he moved his mouth to my right breast. Warmth and pressure had begun to pool in my lower abdomen with the continuation of his administrations.

"Nmph!" he grunted when my hips rose and rubbed against his erection. "Shizuka…" he panted after he released my nipple. I could feel his erection twitching against me.

After releasing his focus on my breasts he turned to my lower body. He started running a hand up and down my inner thigh before he used his other hand to touch my core.

"Ah!" I cried out as my hips buckled up into his hands.

I could no longer control my breathing. I needed him. I could already feel my fluids running down from my core. I cried out once more when Souji pushed a single finger into me.

"You're already really wet…" he voiced his observations with amazement as he stared at his coated fingers, surprised that he could reduce me into a wet puddle.

Unwilling to only have Souji touch me, I quickly flipped him on his back before I settled myself on top of him.

"Shizuka?!—Mmmph" He exclaimed before I muffled the rest of his sentence with a kiss.

I ran my hands slowly down his chest, tracing the outline of each muscle as I dragged my hands teasingly down towards his erection. Souji groaned loudly by the time I reached his lower abdomen and cried out my name when I lightly ran a single finger up his erection. Pre-cum came out of the tip of his member by the time I ran my finger back down his erection. Before I could do anything else, I was quickly flipped onto my back again.

"Don't make me finish before I've even entered you." Souji panted with a strained voice as a drop of sweat dripped down the side of his face.

"Then don't wait any longer." I said with a breathy voice. "I need you, please."

Souji nodded at me before he positioned himself at my opening. I felt myself being filled as he slowly pushed into me. When he started to feel some resistance, he stopped. He kissed me before he quickly thrust his hips forward, breaking my hymen and fully entering me. Honestly, it did hurt a little. It was a small burning sensation, but nothing too unmanageable. It was an interesting experience for me. In my past life, I was actually one of those people born without a hymen, so when I never knew what it was like before this to have my hymen break.

After breaking my hymen, Souji stilled his movements and looked me in eye to check to see if I was in any pain. I leaned forwards to kiss him to let him know I was fine before I began moving my hips against him. He moaned loudly and resumed movement when I moved against him. Souji was clumsy when he resumed movement, but that was to be expected for his first time. Most of his self-control vanished when I began moving against him. He tried to control himself when he resumed his thrusting but he couldn't hold a regular pattern and began to thrust into me irregularly.

"S-Souji! A-ah!" I cried out when he hit a senstive spot inside. "Mmph!"

Souji shift his body a bit and began to aim towards that one spot. It wasn't long until I could feel an orgasm coming.

"S-Shizuka!" Souji gasped out as his movements became faster, harder, and more irregular. "I'm going to—ngh!"

I came shortly after I felt hot liquid shoot into me. Souji collapsed on top of me as he laid there trying to catch his breath.

"S-S-Souji…." I quivered as I wrapped my arms around his waist. Oooohh, I have to say that was better than all those other times I had sex in my past life combined. I never had an orgasm so powerful. This must have been what people meant when they said that sex is a thousand time better with the person you love.

Several minutes passed before Souji had enough strength to pull himself out of me. He collapsed next to me after he pulled himself free. After recovering some strength, Souji pulled the blankets over us before pulling me close to him. Both of us quickly fell asleep while basking in the afterglow.

* * *

><p>Ugh, some of the information about the wedding ceremonies was hard to dig up. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter.<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee."  
>― J.R. Ward, Dark Lover<p>

I awoke to hands lightly tracing the curves of my sides in the late morning. Mmm, last night was mind-blowingly good. Instead of letting Souji know that I was awake, I lied limply with my eyes closed against his chest. He was warm and a surprisingly comfortable pillow.

"I know you're awake." his hot breath teasingly blew into my ear.

I lazily opened one eye to peek at his face. A sly but satisfied grin was plastered on his face as he looked down at me.

"You're too comfortable to sleep on." I said, closing my eye and hugging him even closer to me.

"Sleep, huh?" he said before I suddenly found myself on my back with Souji hovering over me with a smirk. "I can think of better things to do now rather than sleep."

"Oh? Why don't you enlighten me." I said, playing coy.

"Well," he said as he lowering his face towards mine until it was a few centimeters away, "it starts off with a kiss."

He closed the distance with a long, slow kiss. He nipped my lower lip lightly before he released my lips and moved back just enough that so that I could feel his breath without our lips touching.

"And then," he said in a whisper as his warm breath hit my lips, "the kiss evolves over time."

Souji moved back in for another slow kiss. He slipped his tongue into my mouth as he rolled his hips sensationally against my mine. Well, hello. It appeared that "little Souji" was ready for another round of fun.

"So what do you think happens next?" Souji asked while nibbling on my ear.

"Well, I—" I started to say before I was interrupted by his sudden movement.

Souji's eyes had suddenly snapped into a sharp, focused gaze. He quickly fixed the blanket so that it was covering everything below our waists before raising his broad shoulder to block me from any unwanted, prying eyes. Just as soon as he shielded me, the door slid open and Kyoko-chan quickly slipped in before shutting the door.

"Good, you're awake!" she said cheerfully, disregarding the fact that both me and my husband were both laying together in bed, naked.

"Eh? What are you doing here, Kyoko-chan?" I asked. I wasn't expecting any visitors today, especially in the morning right after the wedding.

Souji glared at her with an annoyed expression. "You know, I was expecting to have the whole day with Shizuka alone. It is the morning after the wedding and I was expecting to stay in bed all day with her to have a couple more rounds between the sheets. You do know that we're both naked here, right? That mean we should have some privacy."

"Eh, your important parts are covered and it doesn't matter if Shizuka-chan's naked since we're both girls." Kyoko-chan reasoned before rushing over to my side of the futon. "So how was last night? Spill!"

Souji groaned before slamming the back of his head back on the futon. He threw his left arm over his eyes when Kyoko-chan showed no signs of leaving soon. I rubbed his right arm to placate him before sitting up to answer Kyoko-chan's question.

"It was good." I said simply.

"I know it was good, you're practically glowing! I want to know the details!" Kyoko-chan gushed excitedly.

"I am still here." Souji growled out frustratingly. "Don't talk like I'm not in the room."

"It was good" I merely repeated, disregarding Souji's statement.

Kyoko-chan pouted at my answer. "You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope! You'll just have to wait until your wedding night to find out." I said cheerfully.

"Aww, then I'll have to wait until winter of this year. Can't you just give me a hint?" she complained.

"It feels like I've died and gone to heaven."

"Can't you be more descriptive?"

"Nope."

Kyoko-chan pouted once more at my answer before her eyes drifted down to my breasts, which remained uncovered by the blanket.

"Are those… are those love bites?" she asked in fascination.

Love bites? I looked down at my breasts to discover two love bites on the side of my right breast and one on the upper half of my left breast. What do you know? I guess Souji got a bit rough in his excitement last night.

"Hmm… I guess they are." I said while examining them. Did I have a few more on my body somewhere else?

"They kind of look like bruises." Kyoko-chan observed before poking the one on my left breast with her finger. "Do they hurt?"

"Mmm, not really… I feel more sore, if anything." I answered.

Souji moved his arm off his face and watch Kyoko-chan poke my breast with a peeved expression.

"I should be the one fondling Shizuka's breasts, not you." He grumbled unhappily under his breath.

"I'm not fondling them!" Kyoko-chan complained at Souji's accusation. "I'm examining them! I want to know what to expect on my wedding night!"

"Tsk!" Souji turned the other way to sulk.

"Hey," I said to get Kyoko-chan's attention once more, "do I have anymore love bites?"

"Hmm…" she hummed as she did a quick survey of my exposed upper body. "You have one on the right side of your neck, two on your collarbone, one under your ribcage, and I see one near the top of of your left hip."

"… that's a lot…" I said a bit surprised at the number.

"That's not nearly enough." I heard Souji mumble under his breath. He was still really upset with the interruption. As much as I loved Kyoko-chan, it was probably better if she left now to avoid upsetting Souji any further.

"Kyoko-chan, we can talk later if you have anything else you want to talk about." I said amicably while silently gesturing to Souji. "I have a few things I have to take care of right now."

"Hmm, fine then. I'll see you later?"

"Sure. Bye." I waved to her as she slipped out silently before shutting the door again.

After a moment of silence, both Souji and I heard the sounds of a disturbance filter through the closed doors.

"You again!" we heard Hijikata-san scream from outside. "How do you keep getting in without anyone knowing?!"

"Haha! Your security sucks!" taunted Kyoko-chan's voice.

"Get back here! Heisuke, Saito, catch her!"

"Missed me!"

"Don't let her get away!" Hijikata-san roared as a stampede of footsteps ran towards the front gate.

"… Do you think they'll catch her?" I asked after the footsteps faded away.

"No. She's slipperier than an eel." said Souji before he pulled me back down onto the futon and rolling on top of me again, pressing his erection against my inner thigh. "Now, where were we before we were interrupted?"

"I believed you asked me what I thought would happen next." I giggled before gasping when his hand grazed over my one of my nipples.

"Well then, let's continue from there—"

"Okita-kun!" Sannan-san's voice called from behind closed doors.

"WHAT?!" Souji snarled loudly, clearly having enough of the interruptions.

"You're needed on patrol!" Sannan-san called back, completely unintimidated by Souji's frustrated snarl.

"Isn't it Shinpachi-san and Sano-san's turn?!" Souji pointed out in irritation.

"Yes, but Nagakura-kun is to hung-over to be effective." Sannan-san seemed to answer back gleefully.

"Damn it! It's the morning after the wedding, so shouldn't I have the day off?!"

"The day right after your wedding is just another normal day. You should have had your fun last night. It's time to go back to work now. Dress and go meet Harada-kun at the front gates in 30 minutes." Sannan-san said before we heard his footsteps fade away.

Souji gave out a loud and painful groan before limply collapsing on me with his face on my chest. I stroked the back of his head to ease some of his disappointment.

"There's always next time." I said, trying to cheer him up.

"Screw next time! I wanted now…" he grumbled into my chest.

"Go follow Sannan-san's orders for now." I said gently. "I'll make it up to you later tonight."

He raised his head to look at me with an upset look. "Promise?"

"I promise." I said before pecking him quickly on the lips and pushing him off of me. "Here, I help you dress."

* * *

><p>"Ow… my head…" Shinpachi-san emerged from his room just as I was hanging up the futon I was washing to dry.<p>

Sex without a condom was messy. In the rush of yesterday, I never actually got to lay a towel on top of the futon, thus resulting in a wet mess on the futon. For the future, it was probably best if I kept a few towels within arms reach in the bedroom. I think I would go crazy if I had to wash the sheets every time I had a tumble with Souji.

"Drink too much yesterday?" I asked while securing the blankets to the hanging line.

"Ugh… not really, just a nasty hang-over." he said with his hand on his head. "I don't suppose you have a cure for this, do you?"

"No, just wait for it to wear off. Most acclaimed hang-over cures don't really work." I turned to face him after drying my hands on my apron. "I can make you some hot tea though."

"Mmm, yeah, that would be appreciated. Hey, Shizuka-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you outside doing laundry instead of in bed with Souji right now? It is the morning after." Shinpachi-san asked.

"Well, it your fault."

"What?! How?"

"Souji was forced to take your patrol with Sano-san when Sannan-san deemed you 'too hung-over to be effective'." I explained

"Aww, crap." Shinpachi said while rubbing the back of his neck and looking at me apologetically. "Souji must be pissed."

"He is." I agreed. "I would avoid him for a few days if I were you. Who knows if he'll draw his sword on you."

"You know, I think I will!" he exclaimed before retreating back into his room in a panic. "I'll skip the tea you offered from earlier."

Shinpachi-san managed to avoid Souji for the next three days, but on the morning of fourth day, Souji walked into main hall cheerfully dragging a mournful Shinpachi-san along and announced joyfully that Shinpachi-san was going to take over his patrols for the next week.

* * *

><p>"Ah, there you are Shizu-chan!" Father called out to me as I was wiping the floors of the hallways.<p>

"Is there something that you need, Father?"

"Oh! Yes, everyone is gathering at the main hall to greet our new recruits." Father explained enthusiastically. "You should come join us. You may not be an official member of the Roshigumi, but you are our physician and it would be good for you to introduce yourself to the new men."

I nodded before obediently following Father to the main hall. On the way there, we ran into Ibuki-kun who had to deliver some notes to Sannan-san. Being the man that he is, Father invited Ibuki-kun to join us in welcoming the new recruits. As we entered the room, I spotted five men in the room that I did not recognize. These must have been the new recruits Father mentioned. Ibuki-kun followed me as I went to take my seat on Souji's left side while Father went to go take his seat in the front of the room. I pecked Souji on the cheek before scanning the room. Looked like Serizawa and Niimi didn't think the new recruits were important enough to come greet and it looked like we were still missing a few people for this meeting.

"Any of these men look promising?" I whispered to Souji.

"They all look okay," he whispered back while pointing to two men in the group, "but those two over there look like they might be useful."

One of the men that Souji pointed to was a large, kind-looking man with his hair in a topknot. The other man had spiky hair with a long thin ponytail. He had a smaller and leaner build than the first man, but he possessed sharp, purple, observant eyes.

"Did you get their names yet?"

"No, we're still waiting on a few more people to arrive before we start. Looks like they're here now." Souji said as he pointed to the door. Sano-san had just arrived and went to take his seat on the opposite side of the room. Shinpachi-san was now walking through the door.

"Long time no see, Nagakura-san." said the kind-looking giant that Souji pointed out.

Shinpachi-san was surprised when someone called out his name and paused to look around to see who it was that called out his name.

"Oh, it's you!" Shinpachi-san called out with a large smile on this face when his eyes landed on the gentle giant.

"What is it, Shinpachi?" Hijikata-san asked as he raised his head to look at Shinpachi. "You know him?"

"Yeah." Shinpachi-san said cheerfully. "Back in Edo we attended the Shingyoto-style dojo together."

"My name is Shimada Kai." the large man introduced himself politely with a bow. "I was studying the spear at the dojo…"

Instead of listening to Shimada-san's full introduction, Souji turned to Ibuki-kun and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Beats me!" Ibuki-kun said with some annoyance. "Kondou-san said I should make their acquaintance since we'll be living in the headquarters together."

"Hmm…" Souji said, accepting the explanation only because Father's name was mentioned in the sentence.

"Souji, you should be paying attention to the introductions." I said with a frown. "You'll be working with these men in the future, so you should get to know them better."

Teamwork and an understanding of certain individuals were essential for making the Roshigumi run smoothly. Souji was recently given the position of first division captain, so it was more important for him to get to know the men than it was for the normal foot solider. If teamwork wasn't smooth on the field then patrol, missions, and battles could easily fall to pieces. An easy job could become impossible to complete if the men did not understand or trust each other. It didn't matter how strong each individual was, if the team was uncoordinated and unorganized then it would be easy to pick apart.

"I am. I am. Don't worry about me." Souji reassured me with a quick smile before turning to pay attention to the new recruits again.

"Okay, next!" Hijikata-san said when Shimada-san was done introducing himself. The purple-eyed man was next to speak.

"I am Yamazaki Susumu." the man said before bowing in respect. "It is a pleasure to make you acquaintance."

"Weren't you born in Osaka?" asked Hijikata-san.

"Sir!" the man answered, "My father was an acupuncturist."

Hijikata-san's face lightened up when he heard the answer, "So do you possess some medical knowledge?"

"A little." Yamazaki-san said while smiling back at Hijikata-san.

"Great! We can make use of another person with medical knowledge." Hijikata-san said. "Shizuka come here."  
>When he called for me, I stood up and made my way up front. I quick sat down next to Father before Hijikata-san nodded at Father.<p>

"This is my daughter." Father gestured towards me in excitement. "She's not an official member of the Roshigumi, but she is our medical professional. Don't take let her delicate and dainty appearance fool you! She will be the most skill and knowledgeable physician you have ever met!"

"You two should get to know each other better after this." Hijikata-san added to Father's sentence. "The both of you will most likely be working very closely with each other in the future."

"It's very nice to meet you." I bowed politely. "My name is Okita Shizuka. I hope we get along well."

"Likewise." Yamazaki nodded at me.

"Gah!" came a small muffled cry from Ibuki-kun.

I subtly turned to the cry of distress as the introductions from the other men continued. Souji was staring darkly at Yamazaki-san with jealous expression. Ibuki-kun, who had probably tried to say something about the situation, had his head was stuck under Souji's right arm and his mouth was covered by Souji's left hand, muffling whatever he was trying to say. Souji still couldn't stomach it when I had to work closely with someone that did not come from Shiekian dojo. He had the attention span of a puppy. Sannan-san, the only other person that noticed what was going on, turned to me and smiled gleefully at situation.

…

Sannan-san was seriously a really sadistic person… And the introductions continued without another bump.

"This is everyone, right?" Hijikata-san asked at the end of the introductions as everyone stood up. "Once you join the Roshigumi, regardless of your birth and rearing, we will treat you as warriors. Are you ready for this?"

"Sir!" all the new recruits answered at once.

"From now on, let us all combine our forces to crackdown on the rouge samurai who are disturbing the peace in Kyoto." Father said, closing the little welcoming ceremony. "Guys, I want you to maintain an indomitable resolve. I'm counting on you!"

"Sir!" all the recruits answered again before they were dismissed.

I approached Yamazaki-san before he started mingling with the others in the room. "So how much do you know about the human body?"

If I was going to work with another person then he had to be competent. When soldiers come to us for treatment of a wound, they were placing their lives in our hands and trusting in our abilities. I was not about to betray the trust of patients by letting an incompetent person into the medical field. As long as Yamazaki-san had a basic understand of human anatomy and physiology then I could work with him and teach him the rest, granted that he was willing to learn.

"I know some basic anatomy and physiology as well as all the pressure point of the human body." he answered dutifully. "I am willing to learn what I am lacking if you are willing to teach."

Excellent! This was exactly what type of attitude I was hoping for.

"You have a commendable attitude." I complemented him.

The medical field was not for the light of heart. Surgeons had to be able to cut into a living person to operate without hesitation. We had to be through and make no mistakes. A single mistake makes all the difference in whether a person lived or died; recovered or became handicapped, healed normally or became deformed. We would have to be able to stomach seeing the worst of injuries and be able to work under enormous pressure without breaking. We would have to be able to understand that we can try, but will never be able to save everyone from impending death.

"There will be a lot to learn and you will have to put in more effort and energy than most of the other soldiers here. You will have to do your duties as a soldier and spend your free time learning medical techniques. The days will be long and tiring, but I will still expect you to be at your very best. I will be a harsh teach, but that is because I wish that you will become an excellent surgeon. Understand?" I asked after laying down a few of my terms.

"Understood!" Yamazaki-san answered back respectfully and full of confidence. "I promise I will work hard, Shizuka-sensei."

"You don't get call Shizuka by her first name." an irked voice butt into our conversation. Souji walked up to the both of us and inserted himself in the space between Yamazaki-san and I. Ibuki-kun, who was stuck in the headlock earlier, bolted out the door the moment Souji released him.

"Excuse me!" Yamazaki-san said angrily at the rude interruption. "This conversation has nothing to do with you and you don't get to decide what I get to call Shizuka-sensei by."

Souji, unhappy at the tone, took it as an invitation to get up in Yamazaki-san's face. "I have every right to decide what you get to call Shizuka by. Don't act so familiar with my wife."

"Y-your wife?" Yamazaki-san asked wide-eyed at that information.

Souji smirked at Yamazaki-san's reaction. "Yes, my wife. Furthermore, I'm the first division captain, Okita Souji. I'm your superior and you follow my orders."

"F-first division captain?" Yamazaki-san paled. He had just joined the Roshigumi and had not been told yet who were the division captains. He was terrified that he had already blundered already before a full hour had even passed.

Having enough of Souji intimidating my new student, I cuffed Souji on the back of his head.

"Ouch!" Souji cried childishly as his imposing form crumbled into one of a cowed child before whining, "Shizuka…" All I gave him was a hard, unimpressed look and he shrunk away.

"Sorry for his rude behavior." I apologized. "Ignore what he said earlier. You're free to call me whatever you wish. I don't really care either way."

I wasn't about to let Souji scare off my new student. Good med students were hard to find and Yamazaki-san seemed like he would be a good one.

"O-okay..." Yamazaki-san said, stunned at Souji's sudden change of attitude.

"Follow me. I'll show you where our medical facilities are and start your first lessons now." I said before heading off to my little "office".

Yamazaki-san nodded before following me. Souji remained quiet after I scolded him and watched me sorrowfully as he followed after Yamazaki and I meekly instead of going to do his job. I sighed inwardly. Souji may have deserved that scolding, but I couldn't stay mad at him long and the amount of time I could leave him upset was even shorter. I should have let him sulk and think about his actions, but I couldn't bring myself to when he looked so upset. When we arrived at our destination, I sent Yamazaki-san inside first before I turned to Souji. I approached him and cupped his face before I gave him a short, gentle kiss.

"I know you don't like it when I have to work closely with other men, but Father needs more doctors in the Roshigumi." I said gently as I released his face. "I'll get overworked if I don't have an assistant to help me. So don't be so upset, Okay?"

Souji sigh resignedly before wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his face against my neck.

"Don't get too close to him." he mumbled into my neck.

"I'll never get as close to anyone as I am with you." I reassured him. "So don't worry anymore and go do your job."

"Okay." he sighed before kissing my forehead and releasing me hesitantly.

When Souji left, I entered the building to join Yamazaki-san. Yamazaki-san was staring at wonder at the various tools I had around the room. What drew his attention the most were the chemistry sets on the tables against the walls.

"They look interesting, don't they?" I asked with amusement as Yamazaki-san jumped a few feet in the air at the sound of my voice.

"Y-yes… What are they for?" he asked with curiosity as he examined the one furthest to the left.

"Well, the one that you're looking at right now is used for synthesizing penicillin."

"Penicillin?" he asked.

Of course he would ask. According to history, penicillin wouldn't actually be discovered by Ernest Duchesne until 1897 and wouldn't be used to successfully treat a patient until 1942. The first patient that was treated successfully did still die in the end, but that was only because the doctors ran out of penicillin.

"It's an antibiotic used to treat infection caused by bacteria. While it can be use to save lives, you need to be careful how you use it. If misused, bacteria can become resistant to it and it becomes useless." I explained. "The three other chemistry sets next to it are used in producing isoniazid, rifampin, and ethambutol in the same respective order." Kyoko-chan was true to her word and helped me obtain the much needed tools to produce medical drugs.

"What are those used for?"

"They're used together to treat consumption. Those drugs target the malignant bacteria in the lungs that cause the disease. However, I am still missing the fourth drug."

"What's the fourth drug?" Yamazaki-san asked in amazement.

"Pyrazinamide, I still can't get it pure enough." I had the proper tools to make it possible now, but these tools weren't modern tools and thus it was very difficult to obtain the desired results. "Well, enough about that. I'm going to test you on your knowledge now so I know where to start my lessons."

* * *

><p>Yamazaki-san was indeed a good student. He worked hard and never made the same mistakes twice. The amount of knowledge he absorb in the time span of a week and a half was astounding. Souji entered our room as I was putting away my notes and preparing for bed. I went to his side to help him remove his swords from his side and help him prepare for bed.<p>

"It's been decided that I'm going with Kondou-san and the rest of the chosen group tomorrow to Osaka to arrest a few rouge samurai." Souji said as I took his swords from him.

"So you're leaving in the morning?" I asked as I placed his swords on the stands.

"Yeah. You'll be fine on your own for a few days?"

I nodded yes. "Please be careful while you're there. Make sure no one gets hurt, okay?"

"Okay." he answered me before gaining a mischievous glint in his eyes. He quickly pushed me against the wall, trapping me between him and the wall with his arms.

"You should be getting some rest for tomorrow's journey." I said disapprovingly at his actions.

"I have plenty of stamina." he grinned while pulling my obi loose. "Besides, I'll be without your company for a few days, so shouldn't I get to have some fun tonight?"

"Fine." I said while nuzzling his neck. I kissed his neck teasingly before lightly running my hands down his slightly exposed chest. I spoiled him too much.

* * *

><p>Gotta study, finals are coming up X_X<p> 


	34. Chapter 34

No, I haven't died. I've just been busy with finals and a grant proposal project. Finals are almost done, just one left on Saturday. Thank you for being patient. Here's a chapter to all those waiting.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

"The 'L' in my luck has been replaced with an 'F'."

–Unknown

"Be careful and look out for everyone, okay?" I said while smiling softly at Souji.

It was the hour of the hare on the first day June and everyone was gathered in front of the compound. The group that was leaving for Osaka consisted of Shinpachi-san, Saito-san, Sannan-san, Gen-san, Yamazaki-san, Shimada-san, Father, Souji, Serizawa and Hirama. I placed a bundle of lunches I prepared earlier that morning in Souji's hands before kissing him affectionately on the lips.

"This is for the trip." I explained. "Even though you guys are going by ship, it's still a four hour journey. There should be enough food in here for nine people, even with Shinpachi-san's massive appetite."

"Hmm… nine people, huh?" Souji said with a knowing look. He had a hint of a smile slowly creeping onto his lips as he quirked a single eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked as a response to his look. "You know I don't like Serizawa. I'm not going to make lunch for someone I don't like."

In fact, I'm sure that even if I did make Serizawa lunch, he wouldn't eat it. Due to my open hatred of him and the fact he knew I was trying to get him assassinated, he probably would have assumed I poisoned his food. I wasn't about to waste my time and effort on something that was going to be thrown away in the end. But, even though I did not make lunch for Serizawa, I did make lunch for his henchman. Hirama was a decent person and I had nothing against him. Just because he followed Serizawa did not make him a bad person. I wasn't going to treat the man poorly just because I didn't like his master.

Souji chuckled at my response while Father sent me a glance of disapproval. At Father's disapproving glance, I conjured up the cutest, sweetest puppy-eyes I could manage. Father's glance lost its edge as he let out a sigh and shook his head at me with a small smile. Hehehe, Father could never stay mad at me long whenever I did that. I bounced up to Father and kissed his cheek.

"You be careful too, Father."

"Shizu-chan, don't worry so much." Father replied before patting my head. "We'll all be fine. Just focus on taking care of everyone else while we're gone."

"Tsk!" came Serizawa's annoyed voice, cutting our good-bye short. "Hurry up! We don't have all day!"

We all waved the group leaving good-bye and watched them walked down the road towards the harbor to the ferry that was going to take them down to Osaka.

"Serizawa-sama and the others are departing for Osaka?" asked a male voice from behind while everyone was watching the Osaka group leave.

Everyone, but Hijikata-san, turned around at the sound of the voice. Yukimura was standing a short distance behind all us left behind at headquarters. He wore a seemingly kind smile as he faced our group. Hijikata-san continued to face forward, but he surveyed Yukimura with a sharp look through the corner of his eye. Just like me, Hijikata-san didn't like this man very much either and was suspicious of him. Yukimura's smile that he always had was kind and he was always polite, but it all somehow seemed disingenuous. It felt like he had a façade that he showed everyone and that it was well rehearsed. Maybe I was thinking too much about it and was just being bias because he was the one that brought the Water of Life to the Roshigumi. Maybe he was really as kind as he seemed. Other than being stuck with the nasty job that the bakufu assigned, he hadn't actually done anything that merited my doubt and suspicion. But then again, Hijikata-san wasn't very trusting of Yukimura either. Hijikata-san was much more perceptive than I was when it came to people and I trusted his sense of judgment more than my own. Perhaps I should follow Hijikata-san's lead here.

"Yukimura-dono!" Niimi excitedly ran to greet the western trained doctor. "I've been eagerly waiting for your arrival! I could use your advice on something today"

"Okay." Yukimura answered warmly to Niimi's request.

"Come, come. Please, come inside!" Niimi eagerly ushered Yukimura into the Maekawa house while the remaining Shieikan group watched their interaction.

"It's freaky how happy Niimi-san is." Heisuke commented as he turned to face the opposite direction with his arms crossed behind his head.

"That's because Sannan-san, who'd always voice his opposition, left for Osaka." said Sano-san as he closed his eyes.

Hijikata-san turned towards me and nodded, signaling that he wanted to speak to me privately, as Heisuke was speaking. I followed Hijikata-san back towards a small ally way between the buildings of the compound as he called out to Heisuke without a pause in his step.

"Heisuke." Hijikata-san called Heisuke to follow us.

"Huh?" Heisuke made a questioning sound before he followed the both of us without complaint, leaving Sano-san by himself.

Hijikata-san came to a stop when he arrived behind a building through the alley and he turned to face Heisuke and me with crossed arms.

"Please keep an eye on Niimi-san and Kodo-san." Hijikata-san said while making eye contact with Heisuke.

"What?" Heisuke said with a perplexed expression.

"Niimi-san intends to get the jump on us while Sannan-san is away and proceed with the experiments with Kodo-san." explained Hijikata-san.

"No kidding." Heisuke said as he put a single hand on his hip and looked away.

"I can't leave Kyoto, so I had Sannan-san go to Osaka. But I don't intend to let them do as they please.

"So you had me stay rather than go to Osaka because…"

"I can only entrust this job with someone who knows about the water of life and rasetsu and is also a trustworthy companion."

"Got it!" Heisuke exclaimed with a giant smile. "So it wasn't because you lacked faith in my abilities!"

"Of course not!"

"So that means you don't want to rely on that medicine either, right?"

"You're being too loud." Hijikata-san scolded as Heisuke's voice rose in happiness.

"Oh, sorry." Heisuke said apologetically.

"Shizuka," Hijikata-san said to gain my attention, "go ask Kyoko what she can dig up on Kodo-san. I want to know more about the man the bakufu sent to us. There's something about him I can't trust."

"Understood." I nodded.

"Good." Hijkata-san said to my answer before adding after a short period of pondering, "While you're there, also ask her how she keeps getting into the headquarters without being detected."

"There's no point in asking her that." I said flatly. "The answer will forever be 'I climbed over the wall'."

Hijikata-san ignored my last statement and addressed the both of us one last time. "Harada and I are going to the magistrate's office now. I'm counting on the both of you."

Leave it to us!" Heisuke nodded confidently.

* * *

><p>"So do you think you can find more information on Yukimura Kodo?" I asked Kyoko-chan as we sat together outside a teahouse eating some dango.<p>

"Sure, leave it to me." Kyoko-chan said while munching on here snack. "I'll ask my contacts and have some information ready for you by the end of this week."

"Thanks. Oh, before I forget, Hijikata-san asked me to ask you again how you always manage to sneak into the headquarters undetected."

"I climbed over the wall." Kyoko-chan answered again simply.

"… I thought so." I knew the answer would be the same. Hmm… maybe…maybe Hijkata-san and I were asking the wrong question. "Let me rephrase that question: How are you climbing over the wall with such ease?"

Kyoko-chan grinned at me with the now empty dango stick sticking out from between her teeth. She reached into the sleeves of her kimono and pulled out two black iron bands with claw-like spikes.

"With these." She said as she slipped the curious twin bands onto her hands.

The twin iron bands fit comfortably around the palm of her hands. The claw-like spikes were attached to the sides of the bands that were sitting on the palms and faced outwards. What were these tools? They looked like climbing cleats for the hands.

"What are those?" I asked as I flipped her hands to observe her climbing tools

"My maternal grandfather gave these to me and taught me how to use these before he passed away. They're called shuko." Kyoko-chan explained.

"They seem useful, but how come I never heard about these before?" Such useful tools should have been well known, so why weren't they?

"It because…" Kyoko-chan paused for a dramatic effect, "… they're ninja tools!"

Wait… WHAT?! Ninja tools?! How does she have ninja tools? Even in 19th century Tokugawa Japan, ninja had already faded into popular myth.

The ninja in Japan became famous in 1336 to 1600 for their seemingly supernatural abilities. They struck fear into the highly ranked officials with their ability to move undetected, for their rumored assassinations, and for their amazing fighting ability with bizarre weapons. The ninja clans flourished in the Warring States Period when they played an active role of all sides of the fighting, but began to disappear after the Iga Revolt. The Iga Revolt occurred 1581 when the warlord Oda Nobunaga led an army of approximately 40000 warriors to the Iga province and destroyed the ninja stronghold. After that event, most of the ninja scattered and became difficult to trace. However, that did not mean that the ninja vanished completely after that battle. Some of the ninja went into service under Tokugawa Ieyasu, who became shogun in 1603. The last time ninja were actually recorded into history was at the Shimabara Rebellion in 1637-1638. Nobody now really knew what happened to the ninja clans afterwards or were they went. In the relatively stable times of the Tokugawa period, the ninja were no longer needed, and so, they vanished from sight.

This brought me back to my original question: How did Kyoko-chan have ninja tools? The ninja clans were a highly secretive society. The only reason I even knew the minuscule amount of information I had about ninja was because I read a bit on Iga Revolt in my past life during a museum visit. There was no way they Kyoko-chan could have ninja tools unless… no way…

Kyoko-chan grinned at me when the revelation hit me. "My family on my mother's side came from a long line of ninja. My maternal grandfather was the last person in my family that was fully trained in ninjustu though."

"T-then does that mean you know at least some ninjustu?" I asked in complete awe at the discovery.

She laughed good-naturedly at my question. "I only know how to climb and sneak around. I never actually learned anything else from my grandfather. Mother never learned any ninjustu because she thought it was unnecessary so she didn't think I needed to learn. She said, 'women don't need to learn how to fight'."

So that explained why she was so good at getting into the compound without being detected any why she was so fast. This also explained why she couldn't fight off the ronin from when we first met despite knowing some ninjutsu.

"But still, Kyoko-chan is really amazing!" I exclaimed.

"Tehehe, if you think I'm really amazing, just wait until you meet Kenji."

"He's the childhood friend you're supposed to marry at the end of this year, right?" I asked.

"Yup! His family comes from a ninja clan that was allied with the ninja clan my mother's family was from. This is why our families were so close in the first place." said Kyoko-chan. "His family is one of the few families that refused to let the art of ninjustu die out even though they no longer use it in real life. Kenji isn't just a merchant, he's fully trained ninja!"

"Really?!" I asked while leaning forward with my hands clasped together in front of me as I stared star-eyed at Kyoko-chan. This was so cool. How many people could claim that they knew a real ninja? Kyoko-chan took one look at me before she started gushing.

"Shizuka-chan is so cute when she's like this!" she exclaimed as she grabbed me in a tight hug.

"Kyoko-han! Shizuka-han!" a familiar voice chimed. Kyoko-chan let go of me and looked up to see the owner of the voice.

"Kosuzu-chan!" Kyoko-chan said happily. She quickly scooted closer to me to make more room on the bench before gesturing to the empty spot next to her.

After the day Sano-san dragged Ibuki-kun over to the okiya to apologize to Kosuzu-chan, I ran into her with Kyoko-chan the next day at the market. The three of us chatted with each other and became quick friends. From that day on, we would often meet up at a teahouse to eat dumplings and drink tea together when Kosuzu-chan had permission to leave the okiya.

"Did you get held up earlier?" I asked Kosuzu-chan. "You're usually on time."

"Okaa-han had me practice dance today a little longer than usual." answered before ordering her own plate of mitarashi dango.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Kyoko-chan bounced in her seat after Kosuzu-chan got comfortable. "What's your relationship with that Ibuki guy?"

Kosuzu-chan's cheeks became dusted with a light red as she put her dango back down onto her plate.

"He's a valued customer." Kosuzu-chan said while looking down at her lap with a small smile gracing her lips.

"Hohoho! So he means more to you than that." Kyoko-chan said with a sly smile. "Right, Shizuka-chan?"

"Really?" I asked. "If Kosuzu-chan says that Ibuki-kun is a valued customer then isn't he just a valued customer?" I mean, what is there more to be gleamed from that sliver of information? I must have missed the point completely because Kyoko-chan face-palmed at my answer.

"You've been married now for about a month, but you're still denser than a bar of lead when it comes to things like this!" Kyoko-chan voiced her frustration.

"… Denser than a bar of lead?... Oh!" I exclaimed. If she was talking about me being dense then she must be talking about romantic love.

"Get what I'm talking about now?"

"Yeah, I got it." I answered Kyoko-chan before turning to Kosuzu, "I know that maiko and geshia aren't allowed to have romantic relationships, so what are you going to do?"

"There's nothing I can do." Kosuzu-chan answered as she continued to look at her lap. "The only thing I can do is hope that Ibuki-han continues to come to see me as a customer."

"Maybe he can pay off your debt?" suggested Kyoko-chan before she repudiated herself "Probably not… he has no money."

Maiko always got dug into debt during their training to become a full geisha. The dance and music lesson all cost a fortune, but the most expenses were spent on the many different special kimono they have to wear to banquets. In order for a geisha to be successful, they must own several different pairs of kimonos, each one costing thousands of ryo. Because the Okaa-san of the okiya takes on all the debt from training, the maiko and geisha were effectively chained to the okiya until they could earn enough revenue to pay off the debt or until they could find a danna to pay off the debt for them.

"The only other way would be to runaway together." I whispered.

A more plausible plan, but just as difficult as the previous option and had a heavier backlash if it failed. Because maiko and geisha were such a big investment for the Okaa-san of the okiya, they were so heavily watched that it became near impossible for them to runaway. The Okaa-san of an okiya even locked the doors to keep her geisha and maiko from running and kept the key on her person at all times. If a maiko or a geisha did manage to runaway and was discovered by the townsfolk then the townsfolk would capture the runaway and return her to the okiya. The person that ran away would then be punished severely. But if Kosuzu did manage to successfully runaway with Ibuki-kun, then she would be free of the career she was sold into as a young child and Ibuki-kun would be free of Serizawa.

"Runaway?!" Kosuzu whispered back to both Kyoko-chan and I. "It'll be impossible!"

"No it wouldn't." Kyoko-chan rebuffed Kosuzu-chan in a whisper. "I've got connections all over the city and Shizuka-chan has the Roshigumi captains wrapped around her finger. We can arrange a situation that guarantees your escape with Ibuki."

"I don't know…" Kosuzu doubtfully whispered back. "Would Ibuki-han even be willing to runaway with me?... I need time to think about this."

I sighed loudly. "It's hot today!" I exclaimed to throw off anyone who was watching us talk earlier. "Forget about whether it would ruin your reputation! Let's go swim in the stream."

It would be best to let the people think both Kyoko-chan and I were trying to convince Kosuzu-chan to do something inappropriate rather than runaway.

* * *

><p>I brought a small bundle of rice balls to Heisuke as he leaned against the wall right outside the Maekawa house. He had taken the orders from Hijikata-san quite seriously and skipped dinner in order to keep an eye on Yukimura and Niimi.<p>

"Here Heisuke." I said as I handed him his dinner. "I know you're taking Hijikata-san's orders very seriously, but you need to eat to keep your strength up."

"Oh, thanks." Heisuke said as he opened his package and began to eat. "So what did Kyoko-chan say?" he asked between bites.

"She said she should have some information about Yukimura by the end of this week, but I don't know how much information she will be able to get on him."

"I see." he said before he grabbed another rice ball.

"So did anything happen on your end?"

"Nothing so far." he said while finishing up his last rice ball. "Thanks for the food."

"That was fast. If you're still hungry, I can go make you some more food." I offered

"Nah, I'm good. Why don't you stay here and keep me company while I wait for Kodo-san to leave?"

"Okay." I said before leaning against the wall next to Heisuke.

We both watch Ibuki-kun sweep the front of the Maekawa house in silence for a short while before the front door of the house opened. Yukimura stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him before bowing politely to Ibuki-kun, who had paused sweeping the floor when the door opened.

"I'm leaving now." Yukimura announced to Ibuki-kun.

"Okay." Ibuki-kun replied before Yukimura started to walk towards the front gate of the compound.

Heisuke pushed off the wall we were leaning on and addressed me. "Stay here, Shizuka." he said before approaching Yukimura.

I watched from my position near the wall while Ibuki-kun leaned in closer from where he was to listen in on Yukimura's and Heisuke's conversation.

"I'll walk you home." Heisuke said to Yukimura flatly. "It'd suck if you got attacked if you got attacked by rouge samurai on your way back."

Yukimura smiled kindly before replying, "No, I will be fine. I appreciate your concern."

"Is your research progressing any?"

"This is not something that will produce results overnight." Yukimura said before addressing Heisuke's steely expression. "It would appear you think poorly of us conducting research on the Water of Life."

Heisuke turned to face another direction before answering, "Yeah. I understand our situation. But even so, I don't want my friends to take that medicine."

"Indeed, it is not something we should use." Yukimura agreed, "However, it is also a fact that countless lives will be saved by that medicine's powers."

"Save lives?" Heisuke questioned loudly as he turned to face Yukimura again, "With a medicine that turns people into monsters?"

"Anyone who loses everything due to their own powerlessness thinks, 'If I only had more power.'" Yukimura replied. "The power obtained through the Water of Life is fake. It may not be true power, yet even if it is fake, there are things you can protect so long as you possess it."

"Do you have a reason for seeking greater power?"

"I cannot say. I am simply a doctor." Yukimura said with a creepy smile.

"If the power you seek brings us harm," Heisuke said before he quickly drew his sword and pointed at the doctor, "I will kill you on the spot!"

Yukimura remained unflinching at the threat and the sword pointed at his face. Who was this man? His lack of reaction, he was no normal doctor. My initial instincts must have been correct.

"Everyone has their own positions, ideas and ambitions!" Heisuke continued. It's nice when you can talk things out, but when you can't… When two adamant wills clash, fighting is the only option. That's what I think. Even so, if possible… I don't want to kill someone if I don't have to. I think it'd be great if I never had to kill anyone."

Heisuke sheathed his sword when he finished speaking.

Completely unaffected by the threat, Yukimura merely bowed again politely and wished Heisuke farewell before leaving the headquarters for the day. I approached Heisuke once I saw Yukimura exit out the front gates of the compound.

"Be careful Heisuke." I warned him. "That man didn't even react when you drew your sword on him. He's no normal doctor. He not even a normal man."

"Yeah, I know." Heisuke answered as he continued staring at the front gates that the doctor exited out of.

"Come on, let's go back inside. I'm sure you're stiff from standing in the same position all day. I can give you a massage to loosen up the knots in your back."

"Oh! Thanks!" Heisuke said as he happily accepted my offer.

* * *

><p>Today was terrible. I entered my lab space earlier today to discover the distiller I was using to extract the penicillin had cracked over night. The miniscule amounts of penicillin that I had managed to painstakingly produce had become contaminated and thus no longer viable. On top of that, the damaged distiller would be too dangerous to keep using. The crack had meant that it would be easy for the substance I was distilling to be contaminated. It had to be thrown out and I would have to wait several more weeks for Kyoko-chan to procure another one for me. I had briefly wondered if the crack was an omen of bad luck, but I had quickly dismissed that. I wasn't someone that believed in superstition.<p>

"Going by the look on your face, I'm guessing that it can't be salvaged." Heisuke commented as I held up the cracked portion to the light with a frown on my face.

"Damn it." I muttered. "These things are hard to get and expensive."

"Maybe the crack is an omen of bad luck." he suggested.

"I don't believe in bad luck. Luck is just another word for the chance of an event occurring. It's neither good nor bad." I denied as I put the glass instrument back down on the table. "Besides, I doubt anything else bad is going to happen today. Everyone who went to Osaka is supposed to return today. Well, unless you count Serizawa returning alive and well as bad luck." I snorted.

"Serizawa-san! A moment please!" both Heisuke and I heard as soon as I finished speaking.

"Quit harping!" What uncanny timing.

"Well, speak of the devil… come on, Heisuke. Let's go." I said as we both left the medical wing and headed towards the sound of the voices.

"Shinpat-san, did you have any luck?" Heisuke asked cheerfully as we arrived at our destination before we both noticed the tense atmosphere. Serizawa and Hirama had already left the group and entered the Maekawa house.

No one would face the both of us and Hijikata-san, who had arrived moments earlier before Heisuke and I, when we spoke or answer our questions. Everyone in the group, but Souji, wore grim expressions. While everyone was facing forwards, Souji was casually facing the side and while everyone wore grim expressions, Souji wore a wry smile.

"Souji?" I asked and received no answer.

That smile… no it wasn't his normal smile, it was a mask. Something had definitely happened in Osaka. I narrowed my eyes before making eye contact with Hijikata-san. He nodded at me before he turned to Sannan-san.

"Sannan-san did something happen?" Hijikata-san asked.

Sannan-san answered after a moment of silence. "There was a scuffle with some unarmed sumo wrestlers in Osaka…"

"A scuffle?" Hijikata-san questioned.

"Serizawa-san and Okita-kun…" Sannan-san said before closing his eyes, "…struck down the wrestlers."

"They what?!" Hijikata-san exclaimed in shock.

I quickly turned to face Souji in alarm after I heard what Sannan-san said.

"I guess it's time to start believing in superstitions…" Heisuke murmured loud enough only for me to hear.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." ― Paulo Coelho, Brida

"If only I didn't take my eyes of Serizawa-san…" said Father as he sat down on the roka outside of the Yagi house with a disheartened expression.

This was Serizawa's fault. It was always Serizawa's fault. I clenched my hands into tight fists as I glared at the ground. Everyone was working so hard to promote the Roshigumi in a positive light and this single event made everyone's hard work go up in flames. How can the normal citizens think positively of the Roshigumi now after what had just happened? What sort of group would claim to protect the citizens from ronin and then turn around and cut down citizens? As serious as this issue was, it was only the tip of the iceberg. Serizawa was not the only one that cut down the sumo wrestlers, but Souji also participated in this violent act. Souji still did not understand the value in human life and when Serizawa gave the order to remove the sumo wrestlers by force, Souji had immediately followed through with the order without giving it much thought. It was one thing to drag the Roshigumi name through the mud, but it was a whole other thing to drag Souji down this path. What Serizawa did was unforgivable. I could flay the skin from Serizawa's flesh and the flesh from his bones until his bones were scraped dry and still he would not have suffered enough. Serizawa's time was limited and when he finds himself teetering on the edge of oblivion, mine will the hands taking pleasure in giving him the final push.

"It wasn't our fault." Souji defended with a light hearted attitude as he raised a hand with a careless attitude. "Seriously, they were the ones who started it."

"And we couldn't openly defy a chief's orders." Sannan-san added gravely while busying his hands with his glasses. No one could look Hijikata-san in the eye while those two tried to reason with him. There was no excuse for what had happened.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses!" Hijikata-san angrily yelled back. "So what if they picked a fight! Why the hell did you draw your sword against unarmed men?!"

"Then I'll split my gut for straying from the way of the warrior." Souji said seriously and without skipping a beat in response to Hijikata-san's rage.

That misguided moron! Souji believed that in committing seppuku he could make himself useful to Father when that was the furthest thing from the case. Souji's death would fix nothing, but instead make the situation worse. When you're dead, you can do nothing, but if you're alive then the possibilities are endless. And what about me? Did Souji adore Father so much that I was not important? Sometimes I wondered if Souji really did love me as a person or if he was really in love with the fact that I was Kondou Isami's daughter. What he had said had really hurt. Even as his wife, I was less important to him than Father was.

"Souji, what's gotten into you?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed in alarm as he stood up from his seat to grab Souji by the shoulder. "This is no time for jokes."

"What joke?" Souji replied with a straight face. "I'm dead serious."

Just like how Hijikata-san couldn't take Souji's tone anymore, I couldn't either. Before Hijikata-san could yell anymore at Souji, a loud crack filled the air. Souji's face was forcefully turned to the side from the force of my slap and an angry red mark had already begun to form on the side of his face. No one said anything as Souji slowly turned to face me, his eyes wide in shock. Never in all the years had he known me had I ever directed my anger at him. There were time where I had become annoyed with him or upset with him, but I had never raised a hand against him in this manner. My normally gentle and nurturing disposition towards him had vanished in my boiling rage.

"You idiot! Just what do you think your death will fix?! A dead person can't fix his mistakes! And what about me or the other people you'll leave behind with death?! Do I matter that little to you?!" I yelled harshly at Souji.

Souji was frozen in shock and couldn't answer me. All he could manage was to stare at me wide-eyed with his hand on his cheek I slapped. I turned and stormed away from the compound when I got no answer. Souji didn't follow me or even call out to me as I stormed out of headquarters. As I arrived at a river near the outskirts of Mibu village, I wiped my face with my sleeves. Tears? When had I started to cry?

* * *

><p>"Ah! There you are, Shizu-chan!" I heard Father call out to me from behind.<p>

I just hugged my knees closer to my chest at the sound of Father's voice. The sun had already set a couple of hours ago, but I could not bring myself to go back to the compound. I had thought briefly about going over to Kyoko-chan's house, but the strength had left my legs. All I did for the past couple of hours was sit on the riverbank and let the river wet the edge of my kimono. Father approached me and sat down on the ground next to me.

"You didn't have to come looking for me." I said without looking at Father. "I would have gone back eventually."

"What type of father would I be if I didn't go after my upset daughter?" he said with a gentle smile before he pulled me into his embrace. "You know Souji doesn't think before he speaks sometimes. Just because he said what he did does not mean that he doesn't love you."

"I know." I mumbled into Father's chest. "It's just what he said really hurt."

"I know. I know. But Souji's hurting right now too." Father counseled me. "The one who he usually runs to when he's hurt has run away from him."

I felt my heart clench painfully at Father's words. Souji needed me, but I ran in the opposite direction. I was supposed to be helping him, not wallowing in my own pain.

"What… what happened in Osaka?" I asked Father after a moment of silence. "I need you to tell me everything."

"Well, I wasn't there for most of the events, but this is what Shimada-san told me…" Father began.

_On June 3, the Roshigumi raided the ronin's hideout in Osaka. On the way back to the inn, they came across a group of drunken sumo wrestlers on a narrow bridge. Though it was a social norm for commoners to make way for samurai, the sumo wrestlers looked down on the Roshigumi and had no intention of moving. They even sneered at Serizawa when he ordered them to move. Unwilling to take the insult, Serizawa beat one of the wrestlers with his iron fan. Too shocked at the sudden assault, the sumo wrestlers did not stop Serizawa as he led the Roshigumi across the bridge._

_Back at the inn, after about an hour of rest, Yamazaki and Saito had left the inn on business for Hijikata. After those two had left, some sumo wrestlers had gathered outside of the inn. Each wrestler held a hexagon staff in hand. Everyone came out to see what was going on. Serizawa reprimanded the sumo wrestlers for their rude behavior towards samurai, but the sumo wrestlers sneered and attacked, so Serizawa ordered everyone to fight back. While everyone else was reluctant to draw swords at commoners, Souji drew his with a bellicose smile._

"_What is this naïve talk you two are having? This is justifiable self-defense, isn't it?" Souji asked Shinpachi and Shimada._

"_What are you thinkin', Souji!" cried Shinpachi. "They're not ronin! Think about the consequences if you kill them!"_

"_Even if you say so, do you think you can convince them to go back nicely?" questioned Souji._  
><em>Even after the scuffle began, Shinpachi and Shimada still refused to fight. They were soon in deep trouble since it is difficult to defend against a group of giants wielding hexagon staffs. Suddenly, the sumo wrestlers backed away. Souji was in the middle of the wrestlers swinging his sword like a windmill.<em>

"_What is it?" Souji taunted. "You want a piece of me? Bring it on!"_

_The sumo wrestlers were frightened to see Souji bathed in blood while cackling. Regardless of the wrestlers just being commoners, Souji crushed them like mere insects._

"_How pitiful, Shinpachi-san and Shimada-san," Souji said, "unable to do anything because the wrestlers are commoners. Sure they aren't lawless ronin, but they picked a fight with us. Now isn't if proper manners to answer a challenge with all you have? Like this!"_

_Souji swung his sword again and again. The blood that had splashed back on to him had dyed his clothing black, but he didn't seem to mind. Stunned by the inhuman sight, the sumo wrestlers retreated and Souji sheathed his sword._

"_Geez. If they're going to flee with their tails between their legs, why come for revenge in the first place?" complained Souji._

_Shinpachi and Shimada looked down silently, too exhausted to reply to him. It was then Sannan rushed out of inn. Shocked at the bloody scene, he demanded an answer from Shinpachi and Shinpachi briefly explained what happened._

"_Serizawa-san!" Sannan yelled. "They are not ronin! What are you thinking, dealing with commoners like this?!"_

"_It's them to blame for showing such insolent behavior. To tolerate such an insult would bring disgrace upon a samurai's name." Serizawa said without a shred of guilt._

_Sannan obviously wanted to debate, but didn't say anything because he knew it would be futile. So he dropped the matter and only asked everyone to stay in the inn to wait for Kondou's return._

"_It's been a while since I had so much exercise. I need to go for a drink." Serizawa said, ignoring Sannan's previous request._

"_Please wait a moment, Serizawa-san!" Sannan tried to stop Serizawa from leaving. "It would be most troublesome if you don't stay and discuss the situation with Kondou-san!"_

"_Sannan, who do you think you're speaking to?" Serizawa said, clearly unpleased with how he was being addressed. "I am the commander of the Roshigumi, while you're a vice commander. Why would I follow orders from you? If there's anything else you want to say, do it tomorrow. Give my regards to Kondou-kun._

_With a victorious laugh, Serizawa turned and left._

"_It can't be helped." Shinpachi said to reassure Sannan. "Let's wait for Kondou-san to come back and then decide what to do."_

"… _I suppose you're right." Sannan replied wearily, and went back into the inn with Shinpachi._

_After they left, Souji started talking to himself._

"_Too bad." he said. "I wanted to slash a few more. Sumo wrestlers have so much fat on them that it's harder to cut through than I expected. And the grease on the blade made it trickier to grip."_

"_Do you not think this type of speech is inappropriate?" Shimada scolded. "They are not lawless ronin, but drunkards looking for trouble! You did not really have to slash at them."_

"_I don't need to hear that from someone who refused to draw his sword." Souji snapped at Shimada before returning back inside the inn._

_Souji really didn't feel a thing about killing. In his heart, the part about guilt and conscience were atrophied. Shimada felt a bit sick thinking about Souji's way of thinking and returned inside in silence._

_Later that night, Kondou returned and Sannan reported what had happened in the afternoon and evening._

"_I'm sorry it turned out this way under my supervision." Sannan bowed apologetically towards Kondou._

"_What are you talking about, Sannan-san?" Souji asked lightheartedly. "It's those sumo wrestlers' fault for not yielding the road to Serizawa-san. Besides, it's not like they were unarmed. They wielded hexagon staffs. If we didn't fight back, we'd be the ones seriously hurt."_

"_Don't talk nonsense!" Kondou yelled back angrily. "The ones you slashed today were not ronin who are a menace to the capital city! They are commoners. They have families and friends. They work hard to sustain their daily lives. They have their future ahead of them. Even if they have offended, did it ever occur to you that it's alright to forgive them? Isn't protecting the people what samurai are supposed to do? I didn't bring you out of Edo, all the way here, to do this kind of thing!"_

_Seldom would Kondou ever roar with such rage. Everyone was at loss and didn't say a thing. Among them, the most surprised was the person getting yelled at. Souji didn't seem to understand why he was being scolded and just stood there frightened. The aloof attitude he showed all the time had completely vanished._

_The next day, Serizawa got up unusually early in the morning and went to tell Kondou to go to the Osaka Magistrate's Office with him. When Kondou asked why, Serizawa said that it was for filing a damage report for what had happened the night before._

"_Damage report?" Kondou said, carefully choosing words to express his objection. "I disagree. The fight between the Roshigumi and the sumo wrestlers has already become neighborhood gossip. I don't see any good in added fresh fuel to the flames."_

"_Don't see any good? Are you serious?" Serizawa questioned in disapproval. "If we show a timid attitude now, the ronin would disdain us even more and rampage the Kyoto-Osaka area._

"_But…"_

"_Mibu Roshigumi, being a samurai group, must not show any weakness to the enemy. Perhaps commoners tend to smooth things out, but that's not the samurai's way of handling things."_

_Although Kondou disagrees, it is hard to say anything against the "samurai" talks, since he was born a commoner._

"_Anyway," Serizawa continued, "if you don't want to be involved in this, I don't mind going alone. The point is the fact that the 'Mibu Roshigumi' filed a damage report at the Osaka Magistrate's Office."_

_Serizawa left after he finished speaking. Kondou made his decision and went with Serizawa._

_The officials in magistrate's office were surprised at what happened, but they filed the damage report without any problems. Afterwards, Serizawa left to go have a few drinks while Hirama was ordered to go pack all of Serizawa's belongings. As soon as Serizawa left, Kondou whispered something to Yamazaki and sent him away._

_When Yamazaki arrived back at the inn, he was followed by a middle-aged man with really good physique. That man was the master of the sumo stable that the sumo wrestlers were from the night before._

"_My deepest apologies." the stable master apologized nervously with a deep bow. "I was shocked to hear that our youngsters have brought so much trouble to the Roshigumi. It is all due to my lack of discretion. Please forgive us."_

"_Please get up." Kondou said humbly. "I didn't invite you here to demand an apology from you. I should apologize for what happened last night. We should be protecting civilians rather than hurting them. How are the wounded ones?"_

"_Well, not everyone was hurt badly…" the stable masters politely said, inferring that some were hurt badly._

_Kondou understood the underlining message and replied woefully, "I'm really sorry about this. My daughter is a skilled physician and I could send for her to come and treat the wounded."_

_Kondou then bowed so deeply that his forehead touched the floor._

"_Commander!" the stable master cried in pleasant surprise. Compared to the other commander, Serizawa, Kondou showed the exact opposite attitude._

"_Please raise your head." the stable master continued. "Our youngsters told me the details of what happened last night. It's not the Roshigumi's responsibility alone."_

_The stable master's tone was obviously softer than it was when he first entered the room. Kondou's sincerity had moved him._

_Souji, who was quietly watching the stable master and Kondou interact, finally decided to speak._

"_Excuse me…" Souji said meekly, but before he could say anything else, Sannan stepped in_

"_Pardon my interruption." said Sannan. "The departure time for our boat is drawing near. Regarding this issue, why don't we make a formal apology another day?"_

"_No, that's… a formal apology is too much. Sorry for bring you all this trouble." said the stable master. "About what happened last night, don't let it bother you any further. You don't need to send your daughter to help. I know how conflicted it would make you feel to send your daughter into a house of nothing but men. Excuse then."_

_After another deep bow, the stable master left the room._

"_Wait." said Kondou. "Let me see you off."_

_Kondou got up and caught up with him. Souji looked at Kondou quietly and appeared to be more depressed._

I sat quietly after listening to what Father had told me. No wonder Souji had said that he would be willing to commit seppuku. He wanted to make up to Father for what he had done in Osaka, even though it was the wrong way. What was I doing here acting so glum and depressed when Souji needed me? My determination quickly returned to me as I jumped to my feet.

"Thanks for telling me everything." I said to Father. "I'm going to go find Souji now."

Father nodded at me with approval.

"Now all I need to do is to deal with Toshi's anger…" Father mumbled to himself as I set off to Mibu temple. If Souji was depressed then he would be swinging a wooden sword around as practice.

* * *

><p>I was correct in my assumption about where Souji would be. Even in the hour of the boar, Souji was still training nonstop at the Mibu temple. He was cover from head to toe in sweat as he continued to swing the wooden sword. I took a deep breath before I started my approach. Hearing a twig crack underneath my foot, Souji stopped swinging his sword and turned to the source of the sound.<p>

"Shizuka…" Souji said quietly with wide eyes, not quite believing I was here.

"You going to catch a cold if you continue practicing while covered in sweat this late at night." I said softly with a small frown.

I took the sleeve of my kimono and wiped the sweat from his face. I paused for a few seconds after I finished wiping away the sweat and gently place a hand on his cheek. It was still an angry red color from when I slapped him this afternoon. Souji quickly place his hand over my hand that was on his cheek while looking down towards me sadly. I released his cheek and took his wooden sword from his other hand before placing it on the ground. I took both of his hands into mine before I spoke.

"I'm sorry for slapping you. I acted out in anger when I should have not let my anger control me. I ran the other way when I should have been there for you. Please forgive me."

"Why… Why are you asking me to forgive you?" Souji asked quietly before he turned his face to the side. "I was the one that wronged you, so why are you the one apologizing to me?"

I released his hands to cup his face and make him look back at me.

"Because instead of staying to try to find a way to solve the issue, I walked off. I wronged you too." I said while stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Now, instead of acting in anger, let's try to find a way to solve what happened in Osaka, okay?"

After I had finished speaking, Souji quickly engulfed me with his large frame. He wrapped his arms around me tightly as he pulled me against his chest.

"I'm sorry." he whispered with softly against my ear.

"You don't have to apologize. I already know." I said while patting him on the back. "Let's go back now. We can find a way to resolve the issues after you've had a hot bath."

* * *

><p>"Father already told me the details of what happened in Osaka, so you don't have to spend any time catching me up." I told Souji as I kneed behind him on our futon, drying his hair from the bath. "Was there anything that caught your eye back in Osaka, especially about the sumo stable master?"<p>

Truthfully, I already had the outlines of a plan formed in my mind, but I wanted to push Souji to think of a plan. He had always believed that his worth hinged on how useful he was to Father as a weapon and I wanted him to see that he was more than that. I want him to know that I believed in him.

"…" Souji sat in silence before he spoke up. "He was perplexed at the difference between Kondou-san and Serizawa-san."

"In what way?" I urged him to dig deeper.

"Kondou-san's attitude was the complete opposite of Serizawa-san's. While Kondou-san was sincere and kind in his apology, Serizawa-san demanded the respect that came from samurai status and treated the sumo wrestlers harshly." Souji elaborated.

"Maybe we can find a way to use this difference? Father did say something about going back to make a formal apology."

"Kondou-san can return to Osaka to build up a connection with the stable master?"

"And?" I urged him to continue.

"Since Kondou-san's sincerity touched the stable master, it should be easier to build up a good relationship with sumo wrestlers… and we can use that to spread the message that the rest of the Roshigumi is different from Serizawa-san! This should allow the Roshigumi to have a less difficult time in the Kyoto-Osaka area!" Souji jumped up when he put together the dots from my hints. "Not only that! If we have a good relationship with a stable master, he can put together a sumo performance for us that can help with our financial status since sumo performances produce great sources of income!"

"That sounds like a pretty sound plan, don't you think so?" I asked.

Souji turned around and narrowed his eyes at me. "You planned that didn't you?"

I stood up and went to wrap my arms around his waist.

"I did, but I only dropped hints. I never actually told you anything. You put together this plan by yourself." I said before pecking him on the lips. "You are useful for more than just killing. Please don't forget that. I believe in you and you have many talents besides swordplay."

Souji grinned happily at me before kissing me deeply.

"Do those many talents include my wonderful talent in bed?" He asked mischievously as his playfulness returned.

I giggled uncontrollably as his fingers began to mercilessly tickle my sides.

"Maybe!" I squeaked between laughs. He cheered up rather fast.

Souji took my giggles to be a good sign as he stopped tickling me and directed me back towards our futon.

"We can tell the plan to Kondou-san and Hijikata-san tomorrow since it's so late." he said with good cheer before kissing the side of my neck and slipping a hand between my legs through my sleeping robe. "But for now… I need you."

* * *

><p>A few days later, both Hijkata-san and Father were leaving for Osaka while the others were trying to dissuade them.<p>

"But Kondou-san already apologized to the stable master." Shinpachi-san said with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah." Sano-san agreed. "And with Niimi's behavior lately, Hijkata-san shouldn't be away at a time like this."

"Silly." Hijikata-san said to everyone. "It's at times like this that I must go. Although it's not like we expected, we've finally made a connection with the sumo stable in Osaka. It'll be a waste if our relationship ends after an apology. We'll use this chance to make us better known. Unlike Serizawa-san, Kondou-san showed sincerity. That's a good start. At this rate we can spread the word that we're different from Serizawa-san. That'll give us less trouble with our duties in the Kyoto-Osaka area. Besides, a sumo performance would be a great source of income. This way we won't need to keep on depending on Shizuka and Kyoko financially."

"So that's why!" Heisuke exclaimed. "That's our Hijikata-san."

Shinpachi-san agreed wholeheartedly with Heisuke, "Shrewd indeed. All fish comes to the net. How did you come up with this plan?"

Hijikata-san turned towards Souji with new found respect and pride.

"I didn't come up with this plan. It's all thanks to Souji." Hijikata-san said like a proud parent.

"I couldn't have done this without Shizuka." Souji said fondly as he tightened the arm around my waist.

"Still, well done, Souji!" Father praised Souji before he turned to leave.

"Travel safely, Kondou-san." Souji called out to Father.

"I'm proud of you." Father said to Souji with a smile just before he exited the room.

Souji glowed at Fathers words. This had turned out a lot better than I had dared hoped for.

* * *

><p><strong>roka<strong>: a wooden walkway covered by the roof that surrounds the whole (detached) house like a porch


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

"Hmm… you're just as short as she described you to be." said a friendly, lighthearted voice from behind me as I was hanging the laundry.

"Eeek!" I jumped and embarrassingly shrieked at the sound of the voice.

Who was that and how come I didn't detect anyone? While I wasn't as sharp as everyone else, I was still fairly hard to sneak up on. I quickly twirled around to see an extremely handsome looking man smiling down at me.

This man was fairly well built, but not overly muscular like Shinpachi-san aiming to be. His frame was fit, but also had a certain leanness to it along with the promise of hidden strength. His spiky, light black hair was shorter than that of the average hair that was deemed fashionable in Edo era Japan, but it was tastefully arranged as fell around the sides of his face. But out of all his features, it was his smoky gray eyes that stood out the most. His eyes were sharp and eagle-like despite the friendly look on his face.

His clothing was very clearly Japanese in nature but, at the same time, was very different from what the average man wore in Kyoto. He wore a formfitting black top with its long sleeves ending short above the elbow with another looser, green, short sleeved shirt worn over the black shirt. His pants were a dark gray color and worn in the same style as Shinpachi-san's pants. He had a large, wide, red sash tied around his waist and a long black scarf around his neck. The palms of his hands up to lower arms were bound with dark red bandages. On the left side of his hip, a tachi and a kodachi were held in place by his sash.

"Ouch, that shriek hurt my feelings." the strange man said jokingly with a happy grin. Of all the times to leave my naginata propped up against the wall in my room.

"You're not hurt yet." I said with narrowed eyes after I composed myself. I quickly went to stomp on his toes, like one would when trying to step on an annoying insect.

The unknown stranger quickly hopped back with a blinking expression, dodging my foot.

"Hey! What was that for?" he whined. "She told me you were friendly…"

She? Who was she? As I opened my mouth to ask, a tired voice from behind the compound walls called out.

"K-Kenji!" Kyoko-chan panted tiredly as she pulled herself up the other side of the wall. "W-wait for me! You're too fast!"

"Kenji?" I repeated after Kyoko-chan. This man was the childhood friend Kyoko-chan was supposed to marry?

I suddenly felt slightly envious of Kyoko-chan. She was going to have some really pretty children in the future. It was no wonder that Kyoko-chan told me that Kenji didn't mind her looking at other men. Seriously, with those looks, there was no competition. Kyoko-chan and Kenji were like one of those really good looking supermodel couples in the future.

"You told me she was friendly," Kenji whined back to Kyoko-chan as she was pulling herself over the wall, "but she just tried to break my toes!"

"Of course I would do that!" I snapped back before Kyoko-chan could answer him. "You're a strange man that just broke into the Roshigumi headquarters and you snuck up on me! How did you think I was going to react?!"

"Pfffttt!" Kyoko-chan snorted before she broke out into a fit of giggles at Kenji's puzzled expression. "She got you there."

As soon as Kyoko-chan managed to stop her giggles, she quickly grabbed Kenji's arms and brought him closer to where I was standing.

"Time for a proper introduction!" Kyoko-chan exclaimed. "This is Kenji and that is Shizuka-chan!"

"Ah," I said before straighten myself up and bowing, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kenji-san."

"Yeah, you too." he said while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly before nodding back at Kyoko-chan with a serious look.

"Hey, Shizuka-chan." Kyoko-chan said seriously while making eye contact with me. "Is Hijikata in? I have information on Yukimura Kodo."

"He and Father are currently in Osaka right now, but—"

"Both of them should return later this afternoon." Sannan-san said, interrupting my answer, as he turned the corner of a nearby building.

"Sannan-san?" I asked. When did he get here?  
>"I rushed here at the sound of your little shriek." Sannan-san answered me with a friendly smile before turning to Kyoko-chan. "Is what you found serious?"<br>"Yes, but what I say must be said directly to Hijikata." Kyoko-chan said to Sannnan-san before looking around cautiously. "Especially because it involves the Water of Life."  
>Sannan-san's eyes widened in shock as silently turned to me to demand an answer. I shook my head at Sannan-san with equal shock. I never told her about the Water of Life. How did Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san know about it? Was the Roshigumi's dirty little secret not as well kept as we had hoped?<p>

"How do you know about the Water of Life?" I questioned seriously.

"I'm sure you know that the bakufu obtained it through trade before passing it off to Yukimura Kodo to improve." Kenji-san said with a hard look. "Zero points for guessing which merchant family was used to obtain it for the bakufu in the first place."

"Why don't you come inside to wait? Both Kondou-san and Hijikata-kun are scheduled to return in about an hour." Sannan-san said as he led both Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san inside before calling out to me. "Go ask someone to accompany you to wait for them to arrive at the harbor as soon as you're done hanging the laundry."

I quickly finished hanging the laundry messily before running off to find Saito-san. He didn't have patrol until later today, so he was probably practicing at Mibu temple.

* * *

><p>"What do you think Kyoko-chan found on Yukimura?" I asked Saito-san while sitting on a bench near the harbor. Saito-san leaned against the wall next me with crossed arms.<p>

"It must be something serious if Wakahisa-san wanted to speak directly to the vice commander without irritating him first." Saito-san answered before pushing off the wall. "Let us go. I see the ferry docking."  
>I nodded before padding off after Saito-san. Both of us greeted Hijikata-san and Father as they stepped off the ramp and back onto dry land. With one look, Hijikata-san was able to deduce that Saito-san and I were not here to welcome them back and immediately asked us what happened.<p>

"What happened?" Hijikata-san asked with hardened eyes. "Did Niimi-san do something while we were away?"

"No that's not it." I answered. "I kept Niimi busy by lacing his food with a potent laxative. He's spent most of his time occupying the facilities rather than working on his project."

"Wakahisa-san arrived at headquarters an hour ago with information regarding Yukimura Kodo and she wants to speak directly to you." added Saito-san.

"You what?" Hijikata-san asked at my statement with a stunned expression. "Nevermind. So Kyoko's waiting at headquarters? Did she say what she found?"

"No, vice commander. She says she wants to speak directly to you."

"I see." Hijikata-san said before looking at Father. Both men then followed both Saito-san and I back to headquarters.

* * *

><p>"Who are you?" Hijikata-san immediately asked when he saw Kenji-san sitting on the floor next to Kyoko-chan with Sannan-san. Saito-san had left for patrol as soon as we arrived back at the headquarters.<p>

"I'm Fuma Kenji." he answered. "I'm sure you've heard of me from Kyoko."

"But that doesn't tell me why you're here."

"He's here because I was having trouble finding information on Yukimura Kodo and his information network is larger than mine." Kyoko-chan said, cutting the conversation short.

"Information network?" questioned Father. "How do you have an information network? Aren't you a merchant?"

"Yeah, but I also come from a ninja clan with a vast information network." Kenji-san explained nonchalantly.

"Ninja clan?! That's quite shocking to hear." Father said in awesome wonder.

"Back to the main reason we're here." Kyoko-chan said to steer the conversation back on track. "I was having difficulty finding information on Yukimura Kodo. For a supposedly normal Dutch trained doctor, he covers up his movements fairly well. All I managed to dig up was that he had a daughter back in Edo and that he was either not married or his wife died and he never remarried. I had to ask Kenji to help me to find some more meaningful information on Yukimura Kodo."

"He's from, or rather was from the large Yukimura clan further up north in the countryside." Kenji-san continued on in Kyoko-chan's place before he was stopped by Sannan-san.

"What do you mean 'was'?"

"The Yukimura clan no longer exists." answered Kenji-san. "Twelve years ago, the Western domain ordered the Yukimura clan to fight for them, but the Yukimura clan refused claiming that they prefer to live in peace. The Western domain retaliated to their refusal by burning down their village and killing everyone in sight. Yukimura Kodo and his daughter are the only known clan members that managed to survive and escape the slaughter. Now for the important parts: when the bakufu was looking for skilled doctors to improve the Water of Life—"

"Wait! How do you know about the Water of Life?!" Father interrupted in alarm.

Kenji-san sighed at the abrupt interruption with annoyance, "My family was the family that the bakufu used to obtain the Water of Life through trade. Anyways, Yukimura Kodo actually volunteered himself when he when he and a small group of doctors received summons from the bakufu. It seemed like he already knew what the Water of Life was before the bakufu gave their explanation. I remember the amount of glee I saw on his face when the bakufu handed off the project to him at the meeting—"

"You were at that meeting?" Kenji-san was interrupted again, but this time by Hijikata-san."

"Yes." Kenji-san said with annoyance. "Stop interrupting me. If you have something to ask then ask it after explanations are done. I hate being interrupted. Back to the subject… given that his tragic past and the glee he showed when given the Water of Life project by the bakufu, I assume that he intends to use the completed Water of Life for his own purposes. Perhaps he means to get revenge on the Western domain for their trespass or maybe he had a high from experiencing the trill of holding such power in his hands."  
>A tense silence filled the room after Kenji-san had finished speaking. If Yukimura had his own intentions in improving the Water of Life, using the bakufu's orders as an excuse, he would be using Roshigumi as his guinea pig and develop the Water of Life to his own usefulness, whatever it may be.<p>

"What should we do?" I asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room. We couldn't let Yukimura use the Roshigumi like this.

"There's nothing we can do at the moment." Hijikata-san answered with closed eyes. "All we have is an assumption and not actual proof at the moment. All we can do for now is watch Kodo-san closely. We can only take action if we get proof or he makes a mistake."

A mistake? When will that be? According to Kyoko-chan, this man was a master at cloaking his own movements and he had a perfect mask on all the time. By the look on everyone's faces, everyone was thinking the exact same thing.

Hijikata-san opened his eyes and turned to Kenji-san, "You said you have an information network. How big and how good is it?"

Kenji smirked confidently before presenting his answer, "My family's network covers from the Satsuma domain all the way to the Hirosaki domain. As for how good is it, I just gave you information regarding the secretive Yukimura clan, so why don't you tell me how good it is?"

"How would you like to work with the Roshigumi?" Hijikata-san smirked back, impressed by Kenji-san's confidence. "You don't have to join the Roshigumi as an official member. Think of it as a partnership."

"Haven't I already started to work with Roshigumi?" was all Kenji-san said to Hijikata-san. "I'd say we're already partners."

"Besides, Shizuka-chan's like a sister to me and family helps family, right?" Kyoko-chan added on to Kenji-san's statement with a smile as she reached over to grab my hand.

* * *

><p>"Sensei, do you have a moment to talk?" Yamazaki-san asked me as he entered my lab space.<p>

After that little encounter with Souji on the day that he joined the Roshigumi, Yamazaki-san had settled on just calling me Sensei. If he called me by my first name then he would ignite the wrath of Souji and if he called me by my new last name then he would get me and Souji would get mixed up quite a bit. Sensei was a good median to him. It was showed respect and there was a certain amount of closeness to it due to the slight teacher-student relationship we had going on.

"Sure." I answered cheerfully while putting down the flask. "What do you need?"

"Are you aware that the vice commander created a new post called the inspectors?"

"Oh! Yeah he mentioned it to me briefly and told me that you'd explain the rest. So what do the inspectors do?" I asked curiously.

"The inspectors will investigate matters both inside and outside the Roshigumi. Both Shimada-san and I will be filling the post." said Yamazaki-san.

"So Hijikata-san wants to keep a closer eye on Serizawa and Niimi?" That had to be the main reason.

"Yes, or as the vice commander puts it, 'putting the bell on the cat'. This was also done to keep the Water of Life a secret. With these new duties, I will be busier and may not have as much time to spend learning new medical techniques." explained Yamazaki. "I will also be training with Fuma-san to improve my information gathering abilities."

"I see… I can lighten up your workload, but keep in mind that there are some medical techniques I will be requiring for you to learn. Let me know if you ever feel like your being overworked, okay?"

"Yes, Sensei!"

Yamazaki-san was going to be really busy soon with his double post as medical assistant and inspector. I only hoped that he wouldn't be overworked, but Yamazaki-san was a talent man and had really good time management skills so maybe the double post would be more doable for him than for other people.

* * *

><p>"Oooh, that feels good." Souji groaned from his sitting position as I rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades to loosen up his muscles in our room at night.<p>

Right after patrolling all afternoon, Souji went over to Mibu temple to train without taking a break first. I had noticed that he looked a bit stiff during dinner and had later learned that he had been training nonstop since his patrol ended and only stopped when it was time for dinner. I doubt that it was his first time doing this. There were other nights when I noticed the same stiffness in his back. Souji always pushed himself hard, but it wasn't healthy for him if he continued to push himself this hard without rest.

"I know you want to continue to improve, but pushing yourself continuously without rest is unhealthy." I scolded from my kneeled position behind him as I continued to knead the spot I had just pressed.

"Mmm…" he hummed happily. "I need to keep practicing because Kondou-san will need skilled swordsmen. Besides I like it when you massage my back like this."

"If you want a back massage then all you have to do is to ask for one, not overwork yourself everyday to get one."

"But it's more satisfying to get one after a hard day of work." he said with a pout as he turned his head towards me.

I sighed at him before giving him a small smile. "Fine, but you need to stop being so picky with your food. Instead of giving me all your green onions, you need to eat them now."

"Boo."

"And you need to at least have one day of rest between you training days."

"Boo."

"Stop saying 'boo' at me."

"Boo." he said with a smirk.

There was just no winning with him. I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't going to lose that easily. As I moved to playful whack him on the shoulder, he quickly moved his shoulder out of the way and pulled me into his lap by grabbing my outstretched arm.

"I win." he whispered into my ear. Darn it.

"Why do I always lose?" I grumbled in his lap. These little playful moments were always fun, but I always lost in our little games and losing all the time gets old rather fast.

"Because I'm just that much faster." he said with a smug grin before his expression softened as he moved his arms so that a hand rested on my lower abdomen.

"Souji?" I called, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over us. "What is it?"

"Just thinking." he said before pressing a light kiss on top of my head.

"About?"

"The future and possible growth and changes we might go through." he said vaguely while pressing his hand firmly but gently against my belly before changing the topic. "Do you remember when we first met?"

"It's one of my fondest memories." I said thinking back, "Though I didn't know it at the time. I remember Father calling for me that evening and me thinking, 'I hope he doesn't toss me up on the roof to scare that cat again.' before I saw you and the depression on your face."

"Yeah… my sister had just left me when Kondou-san agreed to take me in. My first thought when I saw you was that I didn't need someone younger and smaller than me pitying me. Interesting how things turn out."

"Yes." I softly agreed as I snuggled closer to him. I liked it when he was feeling cuddly. "Who knew we would get married."

"You were always a source of interest." Souji said, continuing down memory lane, though it seemed like he was talking to himself more than me now. "You were so small, but you never acted your age. While there were kids that tried to act like adults, you didn't have to act and always understood most things almost instantly. There was so much strength in your small frame and even more gentleness. You always spent more time looking out for me rather than yourself."

Souji fell silent once more after speaking. After pondering on whatever he was thinking about in the short silence, he looked me in the eye with a gentle, yet unreadable, expression.

"You would make a great mother." he said quietly with a ghost of a smile as he began to rub my belly with the hand that was pressed against it earlier.

"Really?" I asked doubtfully.

Me a mother? I always thought I would make a terrible mother because of my terrible habit of spoiling everyone, especially those closest to me. If I had a kid, then it probably would be spoiled beyond all belief.

"What? You don't believe me?" he asked with a slight frown.

"No, it's not that. I just always thought I would make a terrible mother." I explained. "I have a horrible habit of spoiling everyone close to me too mu—"

"AAHHHHWAHH!" a shout rang out through the night followed by a loud thud.

Souji and I froze at that loud cry before springing into action. I only heard one cry like that before. It had to be another rasetsu, but Sannan-san wouldn't be doing an experiment right now, especially without telling everyone. This had to be Niimi's fault. I grabbed my naginata and followed Souji out the door towards the source of that cry. We had to get there now to deal with the rasetsu! It would spell disaster for us if the normal soldiers of the Roshigumi found out about the Water of Life or if the rasetsu managed to escape.

"What the hell was that?!" Hijikata-san asked both me and Souji as he joined us as we ran towards the disturbance.

"How do you think I would know?" Souji replied with annoyance as we approached our destination. "I can't see through walls."

Hijikata-san opened his mouth to retaliate but was interrupted before he could actually say anything.

"What was that?!" Heisuke asked as he and the others joined our little group.

"It came from the back!" answered Shinpachi-san as he ran up to us from behind.

Everyone arrived at the location were the cry had originated only to find Ibuki-kun falling to his knees with the look of intense fear etched on to his face.

"Ryunosuke," Heisuke immediately cried out, "what happened? Are you okay?"

"Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi-san said, quickly pointing out the giant hole smashed into the side of the Maekawa house.

Hijikata-san's eyes widened in horror when he realized what must have happened. He quickly turned to Ibuki-kun.

"Where did he go?!" he forcefully demanded an answer from Ibuki-kun.

Still unable to recover from his intense fear, all Ibuki-kun could do was shakily point in the direction the rasetsu ran while making unintelligent sounds.

"After him!" Hijikata-san ordered fiercely. "Souji! Shizuka! Sannan-san!" he then listed the people who were with him.

We quickly followed Hijikata-san through the hole in the Maekawa house and into the building to investigate what happened to result in the escape of the rasetsu while the others sped out of the headquarters to find the escaped rasetsu. Unsurprisingly, we found Niimi picking up his notes inside, at the scene of the crime.

"Do-do you need something?" Niimi asked nervously while hugging his notes to his chest as we approached with Hijikata-san in the lead.

"Don't play dumb!" Hijikata-san barked out angrily. "That was a rasetsu's voice."

The word 'rasetsu' must have been the magic word. Once hearing that word, Niimi's nervous mask shattered and became one of panic as he froze in place.

"Want to die?" Souji asked with a dark look as he pushed his katana slightly out of its sheath with his thumb while I raised my naginata in a threatening manner.

That did the trick. Niimi now openly displayed his fear and as it looked like he was about to beg us to spar his life, Serizawa appeared while looking totally relaxed and unconcerned at what caused the loud disturbance in the first place.

"What's all the commotion?" Serizawa asked before scolding us. "You're making a ruckus."

Niimi quickly and pathetically scrambled behind Serizawa for protection as we turned to face the relaxed man that had just appeared.

"I-I was just testing the Water of Life." Niimi fearfully explained.

"Who did you administer it to?" Hijikata-san snarled while stepping forward.

"Not one of our own. I used the ronin that Serizawa-sensei arrested." Niimi said as he referred to the ronin that was arrested earlier this today as he defended himself from behind Serizawa while shivering in fear.

"Niimi-san, why did you do that without consulting us?" Sannan-san angrily scolded the cowering man.

"I did it to improve our results faster! Plus it wasn't a COMPLETE failure this time. He was able to retain his senses at first."

"But ultimately, you allowed a monster that will indiscriminately attack people break free." Hijikata-san said, completely unimpressed at Niimi's flimsy defense. "How will you take responsibility for this?"

"E-even if you wanted me to take responsibility…" Niimi stammered before looking to Serizawa with hope that Serizawa would intervene.

"Henceforth," Hijikata-san yelled harshly causing Niimi to flinch, "I will not keep my peace with you. Breaking the Code is punishable by seppuku! Don't forget that."

"I-I will be sure to bear that in mind." Niimi said with absolute fear while covered in cold sweat at Hijikata-san's words and glare while Serizawa smirked at Hijikata-san's fierce expression.

"Souji! Shizuka! Go help the other's with the search!" Hijikata-san ordered shortly after Serizawa left the room with Niimi scrambling behind him. "Sannan-san and I will go deal with the soldiers in the barracks. They were bound to have heard all the commotion and are probably wondering what's going on."

"Understood." I answered while nodding at Souji before splitting from Hijikata-san and Sannan-san.

"Man." Souji complained. "This wasn't how I wanted to spend our night."

"It can't be helped. Let's focus for now. We need to catch that rasetsu before it has the chance to attack anyone."

* * *

><p>To answer one of the most asked questions I have been getting: Will Shizuka get pregnant? My answer is maybe, but I will say that if she does get pregnant then it will probably be a few years after Chizuru arrives.<p> 


	37. Chapter 37

Quick! Here's another update!

**Warning:** Sexual content. The steamy part towards the end was written just for Jinxes ;) Thank you for taking the time for each review.

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><p><strong>Chapter 37<strong>

"How wonderful it would be if people did all they could for one other without seeking anything in return! One should never remember a kindness done, and never forget a kindness received." ― Kentetsu Takamori

"I see. So you let it escape…" Father said after Heisuke's report on what had happened last night.

We had all failed to dispose of the rasetsu from last night and now sat in the main hall, exhausted, in a meeting to discuss what should be done regarding the situation. I leaned my tired frame against Souji as the morning rays began to filter into the room. Everyone was exhausted after that long fruitless night. After the rasetsu escaped headquarters last night, we had all split up and searched Kyoto before the sun rose. Because of the relatively little manpower we could use to look for the rasetsu, our efforts went wasted when Heisuke had allowed the rasetsu to escape after encountering it once with Ibuki-kun.

"At any rate, he can't move in the day. He should be in hiding somewhere. Continue your patrols through out the day like normal." Hijikata-san ordered. "Don't let the other members catch on."

"The true race will begin after the sun sets." Sannan-san added while pushing his glasses higher up his nose. "I shall join you tonight."

As soon as Sannan-san finished speaking, Heisuke sudden slammed both of his fists against the ground as he prostrated himself on the floor in front of Hijikata-san.

"Hijikata-san, I'm sorry!" Heisuke cried in distress.

"N-no!" Ibuki-kun rushed in to defend his friend. "It's my fault that Heisuke—"

"I hesitated!" Heisuke continued, interrupting Ibuki-kun. "Even through he's a monster, he was once a person. He wasn't someone I would have originally killed…"

"That hesitation could lead to even more victims." Hijikata-san said firmly, voicing the harsh truth, before standing up. "Heisuke, there won't be a second time."

Heisuke remained in his dogeza as everyone began to filter out of the room. Poor Heisuke, he had a strong moral sense, but it was a hindrance in this case. Sometimes the best choice is one that is morally wrong. The death of that single rasetsu could prevent the death of many possible victims.

"Shizuka," Souji said quietly as he pulled me to my feet, "you should go get some sleep. You look completely spent."

"I'm sure everyone else does too." I replied quietly with a tired smile. "I need to speak to Heisuke first, and then cook some food for everyone as a pick-me-up before I go get some rest. You need to get some rest in too before the search resumes tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't overwork myself." he said before leaving the room with the other guys.

When everyone, but Heisuke had left the room, I went to his side and placed a gentle hand on his back.

"You should get up now." I said softly to Heisuke, referring to his bowed position. "While remaining in a dogeza may show everyone how sorry you are, it will ultimately not solve the problem."

Heisuke still remained in his dogeza after I finished speaking. He tightened his fists at my words before uttering a single word.

"How?"

"'How' what?" I asked, not understanding what he was asking.

He raised his head and looked me in the eye, as if he were searching for an answered lost deep within me.

"How were you able to kill that rasetsu that night without hesitation or remorse?" he clarified. "While you do know how to fight, you weren't trained as a warrior. You weren't trained to kill. So how?"

"Because I killed that rasetsu for the sake of protecting my loved ones, not for the sake of killing." I answered gently, "Protecting those important to you is very different from killing in cold blooded murder."

"That man was a ronin, but he wasn't someone I would have killed in the first place. While he may have done some bad things, he wasn't a murderer. He doesn't deserve death. How can you kill someone like that?"

"He may have originally been someone you would not have killed, but he is an out of control rasetsu now. What he once was has no bearing on what he is now. Sometimes a single death can save many lives. It is the burden of the protector to deliver that killing blow to ensure that the people he is supposed to protect remain safe." I explained. "You would not only be protecting the people when you kill him, but you would also be showing the man mercy."

"How would I be showing that man mercy when I'm the one ending his life?" Heisuke asked conflicted.

"Do you think that man would have wanted to become what he is now?" I asked gently. "If he wanted to just go around killing people indiscriminately, then he would have become a serial killer instead of going around and forcefully taking money. That man did not want to live like the creature he has become. Some fates are worst than death."

"… I see…" Heisuke said, tearing his eyes away from mine to stare at the ground. "Will I ever become accustom to killing?"

"Some do and some don't. If you can't that does not mean you're weak. You know what is right and what is wrong with an uncompromising conscience and will not yield just because the other path is easier. That is the mark of a strong man, not a weak man."

"How is it you always know what to say, Shizuka?" he asked me with a small smile after a moment of silence. "It's almost like you have the experience of a previous life to draw on."

"Yeah, strange isn't it?" I said with a smile of my own as I stood up and pulled Heisuke up to his feet. He has no clue how close he was with that statement. "But I can't say I got this from any previous life. I learned this when I decided to pick up a weapon and learn how to defend myself. I'm going to the kitchen now to cook something for everyone to eat to refresh their strength. Do you want to help me?"

"Yeah… thanks." Heisuke said as he followed me into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>The sun was setting. It was time to continue the search for the rasetsu. The search during the day had proved fruitless when not even a clue that could have lead to the rasetsu's whereabouts was found. Everyone, including Ibuki-kun, was now gathering in the main hall as we all prepared for the night's search.<p>

"Outsiders must not learn of the Bakufu's secret elixir." said Sannan-san when everyone arrived at the main hall.

"And we cannot allow people to fall victims to the rasetsu's hands." added Father.

"We will finish things tonight." said Hijikata-san. "We'll work in pairs so if someone finds the rasetsu, he won't be alone. Shinpachi you're with Harada, Souji with Gen-san, Saito with Sannan-san, Heisuke with Shizuka, and finally Kondou-san and I. Don't let it get away."

"Right!" everyone replied before we began to trickle out the room in our pairs. This was going to be another long night.

"Heisuke," Ibuki-kun called out as we all began to leave the compound for the search, "please take me with you and Shizuka!"

"Ryunosuke…" Heisuke said as he paused to look back at Ibuki-kun. I stopped walking to wait for Heisuke as soon as he had stopped walking.

"I'm partly responsible for him getting away." Ibuki-kun reasoned. "And couldn't you use an extra pair of eyes?"

"Yeah, but…" Heisuke started, but stopped when he saw the determination in Ibuki-kun's eyes. That determination was something Heisuke understood well. "Got it. But in exchange, please do whatever I tell you. No matter what, don't do anything risky!"

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun said in appreciation.

"Let's go." I said before we set off again.

For a creature with no form of any type logic, that rasetsu was notoriously difficult to locate. Hours had passed and there was not a single sign that could point us to the rasetsu. Maybe we were going about the search the wrong way? It no longer operated on the logic that normal humans did, so how was it making its choices of where to go and what to do? Too bad the first rasetsu didn't live long enough for us to determine why it was always attacking humans.

"Hey, guys?" I called out to Heisuke and Ibuki-kun to grab their attention.

"What is it?" asked Heisuke as he and Ibuki-kun paused to look at me.

"We all know that rasetsu have no power of thought, so how does it decide where to go and what to do? If we can figure out what drives its actions then wouldn't it be easier to predict its movements?"

"Oh, that makes sense." Ibuki-kun answered as he put his thumb on his chin. "If we can figure out the pattern in its actions then we'll know where to look."

"Well," said Heisuke, "we know it doesn't like lights, but attacks people... That means that it won't be near the main streets. There are the most people on the main streets, but there are too many lights because of that."

"It attacks people, but I get the feeling that it'll run away if there are too many people." I said. "Remember when it ran away last night? It ran away because everyone came running to the source of the disturbance. But why does it attack people?"

"What do you mean 'why'?!" asked Ibuki-kun. "It's a monster and that's what monsters do right?"

"It's never as simple as that. All things happen for a reason. We can't say that 'it attacks people just because', right?" I pointed out. "There must be a reason it attacks people… something that it's after? Maybe it eats humans?"

"Gah!" cried Heisuke while looking sick. "Don't say something nasty like that!"

"That's seriously gross." Ibuki-kun agreed with a disgusted expression. "But she does have a point. We should search the back alleys between the buildings. It's dark back there with people occasionally passing to get home—"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" a woman's scream rang through the night from a close location. Don't tell me that it's a victim.

"Over there!" Heisuke shouted, taking the lead as we ran into a backstreet, towards the source of the scream.

We came to a stop at a dead end as we spotted the escaped rasetsu on the roof of a building with the moon as its backdrop. Ibuki-kun's eyes widened in slight terror as Heisuke hardened his eyes and gripped the handle of his sword. Following Heisuke's example, I grabbed my own weapon and readied it in front of me.

"Ryunosuke, look after that lady." Heisuke ordered as he pulled his sword free of its scabbard. "Shizuka, check the lady for any injuries. This is my fight, don't get involved."

"Alright." I answer before running after Ibuki-kun to go inspect the woman. There were no injuries on her. She must have fainted from fright.

As soon as Heisuke drew his sword, the rasetsu leapt from the roof to smash Heisuke. Heisuke quickly leapt to the left causing the rasetsu's attack to miss. The smash hit the ground creating a miniature crater to form around the rasetsu's fist. Without a pause, the creature lashed out at Heisuke with its foot only to miss again as Heisuke jumped back. The creature tirelessly resumed its attack after each miss as Heisuke continued to dodge. While it was excellent that Heisuke was dodging every attack, he hadn't attacked back yet even though there were many opportunities to. He was still hesitating. There was no way he could subdue the creature without attacking it with the intent to kill.

"Heisuke!" I cried as I grabbed my weapon when Heisuke was backed into the wall of the dead end. This rasetsu was stronger than then first one if I judged it by the damage it was doing to the surroundings from each missed attack. It was over if Heisuke got hit.

"Stay back!" Heisuke yelled back at me as he rolled out of the way of the rasetsu's lunge.

Unable to stop itself, the rasetsu's attack hit the building that was once behind Heisuke at full force. From the power behind the attack, the wall could not stop the rasetsu as it smashed through the building causing the side of the building to collapse.

Shit. How were we going to cover that up? It was easy to hide a single rasetsu from the public eye, but the damage caused by one? Not so much.

Completely unfazed by the damage it did to itself from that missed attack, the creature stood up again to face Heisuke. The arm that was mangled from the punching through the wall made disturbing popping sounds as the broken bones forced themselves back into place to heal. It was at that moment Heisuke must of have realized something. Heisuke hardened himself as the rasetsu rushed at him with unparalleled speed. With a single, skilled slash of his sword, Heisuke injured the creature as it lunged past him. The creature landed in an injured heap behind Heisuke as it slowly began to heal again. Heisuke approached the downed creature and raised his sword over his head before he brought it down to stab the creature in the heart, splattering blood all over his front. The rasetsu cried out in pain while twitching before it permanently stilled. The rasetsu was dead. It was over now.

Heisuke stood hunched over the dead rasetsu with his sword still in it as he panted over his actions. Sensing something was amiss, Ibuki-kun approached Heisuke with concern.

"Heisuke, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Heisuke answered with a strained voice as he pulled his sword out of the corpse. "How's the lady?"

"She only passed out from fright." I answered instead.

"Thank God…" Heisuke said with relief before he sadly stared at he bloodstained hands. "I choose to walk the path of the warrior. I will cut down any one who stands against my beliefs. So I am going to continue to kill, to kill and to kill… But will I ever grow accustom to this…?"

"…Heisuke…" I said sadly as I went to hug him to comfort him. "You might never grow accustom to killing, but you'll never be alone. Your friends will always never let you suffer on your own, please don't forget that."

"…Shizuka… you're getting blood on yourself." Heisuke said despite dropping his sword to hug me back.

"I know, but I don't care." I answered. "Everything will be alright."

The aftermath of that fight was difficult to deal with. In the end, the damage from the fight had to be hidden using an "accidental fire" that started from a "dropped lantern." The woman that was attacked that night, thankfully, did not remember much of her encounter with the rasetsu and assume that it was just a rapist on the loose and that the Roshigumi had saved her from being raped. The ruckus from the fight, however, was the most difficult to deal with. People had heard the fight and they weren't stupid. They had known that something rather serious was going on and we were lucky that no one came to investigate the loud sounds. To clear up all suspicions, we had to get Kyoko-chan and Kenji-san to spread rumors of a fight between ronin to blame the noise and the "fire" on. All in all, the mess resulting from the escaped rasetsu cleaned up rather well with no loose ends, besides Niimi.

* * *

><p>One would think that after we dealt with that single escaped rasetsu that things would calm down more, but the opposite was the case. Unwilling to have another situation where another rasetsu could actually manage to escape the headquarters, Hijikata-san, Sannan-san, and Father had increased surveillance over Niimi as the duties for the other captains became heavier with a few more new recruits. Even so late into the hour of the dog, Souji had not returned from his duties yet. He and Saito-san were both stuck with late night patrols for the week and made instructors of the new recruits on top of that. I quietly worked on my medical notes in the privacy of Souji's and mine room as I waited for Souji to return. As I was finishing up a diagram of the arteries and veins in the human body, the door slid open and Souji entered the room with a tired sigh before he closed the door again.<p>

"Stupid moron…" he mutter under his breath as he removed his swords from his hip and placed them on the stand against the wall. "Of course a real sword is going to be heavier than a bamboo sword. It IS made from metal…"

"A long day?" I asked sympathetically as I rose from my seated position and went to go hug him from behind.

"You try dealing with idiots the whole day and then tell me how you feel." he said as he relaxed into my embrace.

"That would be trying for anyone." I snorted as I let my hands fall to his lower regions before I cupped him through the cloth of his pants. "Need me to help you de-stress from the day?"

"Mmph!" he groaned from my touch as he eagerly pressed his pelvis into my hand. "Well I certainly won't refuse it if you're offering."

Souji turned around to slowly kiss me on the lips before he slipped his tongue into my mouth to meet my tongue. He ran his hands up and down my waist before quickly moving his hands to pull the cord holding up my hakama loose. Without the cord holding it place, my hakama dropped to the floor as my top fell open. Slowly removing his lips from mine, he dragged his lips slowly downwards and latched on to my left breast when my breast came into the proximity of his mouth.

"Mmm… Souji…" I quietly sighed in pleasure as he began to suck on my nipple while his hands went to hold my hips in place as he pressed his growing erection against my lower stomach.

I pulled his hair out of his topknot before running my fingers through his hair. I quickly removed my kanzashi from my hair afterwards and pulled my hair out of its bun before working to removing Souji's clothing. As soon as I removed the last offending piece of clothing, Souji released my breast and moved back up to kiss me on the lips before picking me up bridal-style and walking towards the futon. Thankfully, on the way to the futon, he grabbed a spare towel and laid it on top of the futon before placing me on top. Knowing that I would have to spend the morning washing out the futon would have really killed my mood and thankfully Souji thought of that.

After laying me on top of the towel on the futon he crawled over me and nipped the tip of my ear.

"So," he whispered sensationally into my ear as his hot breath tickled me, "is there anything you would like me to do?"

I let loose a small giggle as his fingers lightly brushed against my bare navel.

"Surprise me." I whispered coyly back to him as I ran a single hand down his waist before resting it on his hip.

"Surprise you, huh?" he said with a sly grin before lowering himself to press a kiss directly above my womb. "Alright then, where should I start? Hmm…I know…"

With gentle pressure, he rubbed my inner thighs with his hands before spreading my legs and rubbing a small nub above my opening.

"Oh…" I quietly moaned at his administrations.

"Always so quiet, huh?" Souji chuckled. "Just like your namesake. Let's see if I can get you to cry out louder before tonight ends." he said before increasing the friction and pushing a finger into me.

"Ah! Souji!" I gasped out as my hip buckled up against his hands.

"Louder than before, but still not loud enough." he said with a wolfish grin before slowly pushing another finger into me while speeding up his administrations.

I cried out once more as Souji decided to begin pumping his fingers in and out of me with one hand and sped up rubbing my nub with the other. Then he sudden stopped and pulled both hands away, letting me catch my breath as I laid panting on the futon. He looked at the fluid coating his fingers curiously before smirking at me.

"Let's try something new now since you did ask me to surprise you." he said while playing with the fluid covering his hands.

"S-something new?" I asked curiously as I continued to pant.

Instead of answering me, he placed his hands on my inner thighs to hold my legs open before lowering his mouth to my nub and licking it. That instantly sent a warm tingling feeling up my spine as my inner muscles clenched.

"AH!" I cried out loudly.

I felt Souji grin against me as he continued to lick my nether regions. He grabbed my hips to firmly hold me in place as my back arched and as I began to squirm against him. As if he decided that just licking wasn't enough anymore, he sucked on my nub quickly before he pushed his tongue inside of me and continued his licking there. I cried out once more and could not stop my continuous moans as my hands flew tightly grip the blankets below me.

"S-SOUJI!" I managed to cry out between my moans. "AH!"

Just as I was about to come, Souji quickly pulled away from me, much to my disappointment.

"You're not allowed to come yet. Not before I've entered you." he whispered in my ear again as he crawled back on top of me.

As soon as he settled back on top of me I quickly rolled on top of him and pinned him to the futon.

"It should be my turn now." I said, catching my breath while sitting on top of him before I lowered myself to kiss him.

"Mmm… Be my guest." he grinned from below.

After sucking on his neck briefly, I sat back up and began tracing outlines of his muscles lightly while slowly moving towards his erection. As soon as my fingertips reached his erection, I lightly traced the bulging vein on the side of his penis up to the tip and slowly back down.

"Ngh!" Souji groaned.

I slowly and lightly wrapped my hands around his penis and applied some pressure as I began rubbing it and pumping it slowly, slowly increasing the pressure and speed over time.

"Shizuka, faster!" he moaned as he pressed himself further into my hands.

I smiled slyly at his demand and stopped all movement of my hands to give the tip of his erection a light and slow lick before releasing my hold on him.

Souji groaned at my actions before glaring slightly at me. "That was dirty." he complained.

"That was nothing yet." I said slyly.

I raised myself and positioned my opening over his erection before slowly lowering myself onto him. He gave a loud groan as he fully entered me and placed his hands on my hips. Instead of instantly speeding up like what he would've wanted, I slowly and tortuously raise myself up before lowering myself back onto him.

"Shizuka," he groaned at me, "stop torturing me. Faster."

"Nope!" I said cheerfully as I slowed down even more to tease him.

"Shizuka, please! You're killing me here!"

"Fine, maybe just a little." I said, speeding up a tiny bit before slowing down more than before, repeating the long and torturous cycle.

Finally having enough of my torture, Souji quickly flipped me over and pulled out.

Did I go too far and make him mad? Before I had the chance to apologize for teasing him so much, he rolled me onto my side and roughly pushed into me from behind while grabbing my hips, making me gasp.

"Ah!" I cried.

"I can't wait anymore." Souji said with a strained voice as he pounded roughly into me from behind. "I need you now. Ngh!"

Before long, a warm pressure was building within as our moans intertwined. I was going to come soon—

"AHHHWAWHA!" a loud cry not belonging to either of us sudden came from outside followed by the sound of wood breaking, freezing both of us in place. That was a rasetsu's cry! Seriously! Of all the times another one of Niimi's experiment had to break loose.

"FUCK!" Souji yelled out angrily as he pulled out before we both quickly scrambled to get dressed again. "I'll really kill Niimi-san this time!"

Quickly tying my hair up into a messy ponytail after getting dressed we both grabbed our weapons and ran towards the source of the disturbance.

"What took you so long, Souji?!" Hijikata-san yelled as we arrived at the scene. "Nevermind! Just go cut off the rasetsu's escape path and drive it towards Saito! Saito go that way!"

In a quick and precise pincer movement everyone cut off the rasetsu's escape route forcing it to jump over the wall into Saito-san's well prepared range. After it jumped over the wall, we quickly ran around the wall to see if Saito-san managed to eliminate his target. Standing in front of Ibuki-kun, who was in his sleepwear and had come outside to investigate the noise, Saito stood over the corpse of the rasetsu that had been pierced through the heart. Hijikata-san turned to glare at Niimi, who stood far behind everyone, as soon as he was sure the rasetsu was dead. With all the escapes the rasetsu had recently been committing, everyone was getting quite adapt at cutting them down before they actually left headquarters.

"Niimi-san, you're really becoming a nuisance." Souji said with a dark glare. He was the only that did not sheath his weapon after the rasetsu had been killed. "If this happens again, I really will kill you next time."

Clearly frightened at Souji's dark threat and Hijikata-san's glare, Niimi pathetically scrambled to run away. When it was clear that Niimi was no longer within proximity, Hijikata-san turned back around to scold Souji.

"You'll be breaking the Code if you killed him without orders!" Hijikata-san yelled at Souji.

"I don't care." Souji snorted at Hijikata-san. "One interruption like this is enough to last a lifetime."

"By interruption do you mean…" Sano-san started and trailed off as his eyes landed on Souji's still prevalent erection. Several people turned bright red as their eyes landed on what Sano-san was staring at. No one had noticed it during the short battle nor was the battle long enough for it to disappear.

"Why else do you think I'm so pissed right now?" Souji said with an unimpressed tone. "What did you think was interrupted?"

"Ahem! Right…" Hijikata-san cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked at me and Souji. "We're done here so you can go… well you know…"

Without saying anything else, Souji grabbed me, tossed me over his shoulder, and marched straight back to our room to finish his previous business.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"I am the red in remembered. Why am I red? Because I'm embarrassed." ― Jarod Kintz, The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

"So, how is everything coming along with the plan?" I whispered to Kyoko-chan while both of us were sitting on the bench outside a small teahouse we constantly visited together.

"Give it a few more months or a few more outrageous acts from Serizawa and Aizu will order the assassination of Serizawa." Kyoko-chan whispered back before stuffing her mouth with the rest of her dango. "Hey, what about that Ibuki guy that Kosuzu-chan is always going on about?"

"What about him?" I asked.

"What are you guys going to do with him after Serizawa's dead? Usually when you assassinate someone, you need to kill off his followers too."

Shoot, I really didn't think about that. Ibuki-kun was a good guy who was just caught in a bad situation. He didn't deserve to die along with Serizawa, like Niimi did, but at the same time the Roshigumi couldn't just let him go. Ibuki-kun already knew too much. He would be a loose end with the Water of Life if we just let him go, but at the same time, if he stayed, then he would get caught up in the brewing maelstrom. Despite originally starting off hating Serizawa, Ibuki-kun was starting to get attached to Serizawa and that would be a problem if he got in the way of the assassination. And not to mention, Kosuzu-chan was completely smitten with him. If Ibuki-kun got killed then Kosuzu-chan would suffer greatly.

"I was really just hoping that Ibuki-kun would leave Serizawa's service before the assassination occurred." I explained. "But it looks like that's not going to happen, so we're going to have to find a way to remove him before the plan come to a full."

"Hmm…" Kyoko-chan said while chewing on the empty skewer. "Can't we just convince the Ibuki guy to runaway with Kosuzu-chan before then?"

"But the Roshigumi can't just let him go now. He knows too much and we can't have a leak. Plus, will he even run away with Kosuzu-chan in the first place? He hasn't really gone to see her. The only contact they had with each other is when they run into each other in the city during the day."

"He won't be totally unwatched if he chooses to runaway." said Kyoko-chan.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked curiously. If they runaway together then wouldn't they naturally be out of our reach?

"Listen here, Ibuki-kun has no money and Kosuzu-chan technically doesn't own anything, so if they do runaway together then life will be difficult without outside help. What if I get Kenji to set up a new life for him in a village in the Hira Mountains? The village there was once the headquarters of Kenji's ninja clan and everyone there is a part of his information network. There, both Kosuzu-chan and that Ibuki guy will be watched but, at the same time, they'll be able to start a comfortable new life easily."

That… that might actually work! The couple will be safe there and will be able to live comfortably without the worry of Ibuki-kun leaking the secret of the Water of Life. Now the only problem was…

"How will we convince them to runaway together if they rarely see each other?" I asked.

"Kosuzu-chan's a maiko, isn't she?" said Kyoko-chan. "Just get Ibuki-kun to visit here as a customer while she's working."

"He has no money." I pointed out. "And he rarely has time outside of dealing with Serizawa."

"Then have Nagakura-san take him. Serizawa likes him right? So, Serizawa won't say no if it's Nagakura-san taking him."

I sighed. It wasn't that easy. Each visit to Shimabara was expensive and there was no guarantee that we could convince both men needed to go along with what Kyoko-chan just said. If I was going to fund this plan, then my own personal emergency money would be used up.

"Then how will we convince Shinpachi-san to take Ibuki-kun with him go to Shimabara that often?" I asked my next question. Shinpachi-san would be all too happy to visit Shimabara nearly nightly, but having to deal with Serizawa when dragging Ibuki-kun… that complicated matters.

"I could help too by making situations where Serizawa would be too tired to say no to letting Ibuki go." A voice suddenly said from my right side. I jumped in my seat before quickly turning to the source of the sound. Kenji-san grinned at Kyoko-chan and me while leaning against the wall next to me. "I wanna go to Shimabara too. Shinpachi seems like a fun guy to party with."

"Oh, hey Kenji." Kyoko-chan said nonchalantly as I tried to calm down my pounding heart.

"Stop doing that!" I snapped at Kenji-san. "You're going to give me a heart attack one day."

"No I won't." said Kenji-san as he flicked my forehead. "You'll get use to me appearing like that before you can have a heart attack."

"Ouch!" This man seriously had some strong fingers.

"Well, I'm stealing Kyoko for the rest of the day now." he said while picking up Kyoko-chan. "See ya!"

"Bye Shizuka-chan!" Kyoko-chan waved.

And with that, Kenji-san seemed to instantly vanish with Kyoko-chan from that spot, leaving me all alone. I stood up from the bench and dusted off my lap before I started to walk back to the Yagi house. I guess it's time to start working on that plan. I didn't get very far from the teahouse when the loud and busy street I was on grew silent. The townsfolk had stopped what they were doing to cautiously watch Roshigumi squad patrol the area. Heisuke and Saito-san were leading this patrol.

"It's the Wolves of Mibu!" a man whispered loudly to the woman next to him.

"I heard they put a ronin's head on display."

"In Osaka?"

"They frighten me!"

The reputation of the Roshigumi had recently tanked due to orders from Serizawa. After the rasetsu from a few nights earlier was slain, Serizawa had ordered the head of the rasetsu to be cut off and put on display in Osaka. Before that man was turned into a rasetsu, he was a ronin that was arrested for using the Roshigumi name to steal money and Serizawa wanted the people to know the consequences of such actions. In turn, the people began to think even more poorly of the Roshigumi afterwards. They believed the Roshigumi was composed of savages that punished to harshly. In the local's eyes, the Roshigumi were just lawless ronin that had authority granted to them by clan Aizu, not protectors. Heisuke, who was next to Saito-san, took the man's words poorly and instantly became depressed. A whole organization's name tainted just by a single man's actions.

I frowned at the people's words before I started to approach Heisuke. Maybe I can cheer him up a bit before returning to headquarters.

"Wait! Shizuka-chan!" Asami-obasan, an elderly woman I had once treated for a dislocated hip, cried as she grabbed one of my arms to stop me. "Those men are dangerous!"

Asami-obasan, like all the other people I had treated medically were not aware of my relationship with the Roshigumi. To the townspeople, I was just that talented friend of Kyoko-chan. They all knew and liked Kyoko-chan and warmly welcomed me when Kyoko-chan introduced me as her friend and as the people came to know me, most grew fond of me as well. Everyone was certainly in for a giant surprise when they find out my relationship to the Roshigumi. Heck, I was even married to one of the scariest Roshigumi captains.

"They're not dangerous." I replied with a smile. "All the men in the Roshigumi shouldn't be judged based on the actions of a certain few."

"How would you know?" Asami-obasan whispered harshly back to me. "Men like them would take advantage of the trust from a pretty girl like you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know because I grew up surrounded by all the captains." I said gently as I watched Asami-obasan's eyes grow wide. "Besides, you know that I am married, but did you know that my husband is the first division captain? I can safely say that I know them very well and that the only one that you need to fear is Serizawa."

Asami-obasan's grip on my arm grew limp as I pulled away to approach Heisuke. The other people, who did not hear my conversation with Asami-obasan, watch with held breathes as I neared the patrol group, fearful for what might become of me. Time to show the people that the Roshigumi was not composed of horrible people like they thought it was.

"Heisuke! Saito-san!" I called out to the captains cheerfully.

The entire squad paused as Heisuke and Saito-san stopped at the sound of my voice. Saito-san frowned at me when I stopped in front of them.

"I believed that the vice commander told you not to leave the headquarters alone." Saito-san scolded me.

"But I didn't." I pointed out. "Kyoko-chan came to the headquarters to pick me up, but she had to leave a bit earlier."

"Then you should return to the headquarters immediately" Saito-san said.

"I'm going." I said Saito-san before turning to Heisuke and pulling on his cheeks with a slight frown. "What's with that depressed look?"

"Ow, ow, ow! Shizuka-chan, that hurts!" Heisuke cried as he pulled his face away from my hands. "What was that for?!"

"The citizens of Kyoto won't believe you can protect them if you walk around depressed all the time." I scolded Heisuke like a child before giving him a small smile. "Hang in there. Things won't be like this forever. It'll get better."

"Shizuka-chan…" Heisuke said speechlessly before grinning and grabbing me in a headlock. "You little—" he said while ruffling my hair playfully.

"Hey! You're going to mess up my hair!" I complained as I flailed in his grasp. Heisuke let go a few seconds later to let me fix my hair.

"Thanks." Heisuke said looking more cheerful. "Even though I always felt like you were a younger sister, you've been acting like an older sister lately. Alright! Time to act like the older brother again!"

I giggled at the slight show that Heisuke had put on as he returned to good cheer.

"Okay, I'm going to head back home now. Work hard and stay safe!" I called back with a wave as I started back towards headquarters again.

"Sure!" Heisuke called back as the squad resumed their patrol. Saito gave me a small smile with a nod before returning to patrol with Heisuke.

The people who were watching that exchange continued to stare at me and the Roshigumi patrol as I left the scene, unbelieving at what they just witnessed. Good, I hope I gave them something to think about.

* * *

><p>"Damn, every time I go on patrol people keep callin' us 'Wolves of Mibu'!" Shinpachi complained while swinging his sword angrily during practice. "It's such a pain!"<p>

Much to my dismay, that display I had few days earlier with Heisuke had little impact on what people already came to believe about the Roshigumi. It was difficult to change what people already believed, even with sufficient proof that that went against said belief. Serizawa had told Hijikata-san that a bad name was better than no name, but I seriously disagreed with that statement. It's easier to build up the name you want if you start with no name but damn near impossible to change people's perceptions about you if you start off with a bad name. Heisuke was so upset with the way things had been going that he hid in his room instead of gathering with the normal ranked captain, like he usually did.

"Are you sure you don't want me to wash it for you?" I asked Saito-san, who had tied his sleeves back to wash his laundry.

"No, it's fine." Saito-san replied, continuing his washing. "It's my own fault for not getting my dirty laundry to you on time. I will wash my own laundry this time."

Souji wrapped an arm around the waist from his spot next to me as I was about to reply, causing me to stop and look at him.

"If Hajime-kun said it's alright then it's alright." Souji gently scolded me before replying to what Shinpachi-san had said earlier with a teasing voice. "Shinpachi-san you're fragile enough to let something like that get to you?"

"Not me." Shinpachi-san answered as he stopped swinging his sword and placed it against his shoulder. "Heisuke's actin' all depressed. I can't stand this annoying mess."

"It looks like it's getting to our younger members as well." Sano-san said while leaning against the wall next to where Souji and I were seated.

"Oh, jeez." Souji said, a tad bit condescendingly. "What a bunch of wimps. The locals are so scared of us that they open up a path. It's easier to get around, so what's the big deal? Right, Hajime-kun?"

I frowned at Souji before tapping him on the forehead.

"It may seem unimportant to you, but high morale is essential for an organization like the Roshigumi." I rebuffed Souji. "Morale wins wars and solves crises. The outnumbered, ill-equipped, or even the out-maneuvered may triumph if their morale is markedly higher. Such examples of victories include battles in the French Revolution and with armies of Joan of Arc. The Roshigumi falls under the category of outnumbered. Morale is very important, contrary to your belief."

Souji stared at me with a surprised expression when I finished speaking. Saito-san sighed as he stood up to hang the scarf to dry.

"In short, we must find a way to increase troop morale." Saito-san said.

"A night at Shimabara might cheer everyone up." Kenji-san suggested as he dropped down to join us from the roof.

"When did you get here?" Sano-san asked, surprised at the sudden appearance.

"A while back." Kenji-san answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "I was messing around with Yamazaki under the guise of training."

Oh, poor Yamazaki-san. No wonder he was so strung up lately. I better ease off the work I've been giving to him before he ended up having a nervous breakdown from having to deal with being Kenji-san's source of entertainment all the time.

"So!" Kenji-san continued. "Let's all go to Shimabara tonight. Oh, and Ibuki should come too since his life sucks right now. My treat!"

"Oh! Let's go!" Shinpachi-san adamantly agreed at the suggestion. "I'll go get Heisuke and Ryunosuke!"

"I'll come too!" Kenji-san grinned as he threw an arm around Shinpachi-san's shoulder and walked with him. "So, you seem like a fun person to party with. Why don't you and this Ryunosuke guy come with me every time I go to Shimabara."

Hmm… with Kenij-san's help, maybe it won't be so hard to get Shinpachi-san to bring Ibuki-kun to Shimabara so often.

* * *

><p>The compound was quiet after the guys left for Shimabara tonight. Only Father, Sannan-san, and Hijikata-san remained from our Shieikan group to finish up some work. I didn't quite feel like sitting alone in Souji's and mine room, so I went to Hijikata-san's workspace to help him organize his documents.<p>

"Nothing to do because Souji isn't here tonight?" Hijikata-san asked without taking his eyes off of the document he was working on.

"No, just the fact that everyone else is gone too." I replied while filing the finished documents. "Well, Niimi and Serizawa are still here, but we get along sooo well that I have to avoid them to prevent an affair from occurring."

Hijikata-san snorted at my last sarcastic statement before handing me another document.

"Here, go put this one over there." he said pointing to another pile of documents. "So, how—"

The room's doors suddenly slammed open, effectively cutting off what Hijikata-san was going to say.

"Shizuka-chan~" Kyoko-chan sang as she plowed into my side and enveloped me in a tight hug. "Let's go have some fun now!"

"And what is this 'fun'?" Hijikata-san asked calmly as he continued to work through the rude interruption.

After being unable to stop Kyoko-chan from breaking in all the time, Hijikata-san stopped trying. It almost seemed like some part of him just died when it came to dealing with Kyoko-chan. Now Hijikata-san just tries to ignore Kyoko-chan's break-ins when he could. His façade wasn't perfect, of course. He still always had that small twitching vein when Kyoko-chan randomly appeared in his space in headquarters.

"We're going to join the other guys at Shimabara while dressed as geisha!" Kyoko-chan said cheerfully before dragging me away.

"What?!" Hijikata-san cried as I was dragged away. "Get back here!"

"Ha ha! Too slow!" Kyoko-chan taunted as we exited the compound.

* * *

><p>"This is really heavy." I commented as I tried to walk around in the hikizuri, the traditional kimono that maiko and geshia wore to work.<p>

"But it looks good on you." Kyoko-chan said as she finished up her makeup. "Now let's go to the banquet hall that everyone's in. They'll be in for a nice surprise!"

"But we're really just here to spy on Kosuzu-chan and Ibuki-kun, right?"

"Of course! Why else would we be here?" Kyoko-chan said with a grin and opened the door to the banquet hall.

"Kyoko-han? Shizuka-han?" Kosuzu-chan asked, being the first to see us enter the room.

"Kosuzu-chan!" Kyoko-chan called out cheerfully. "We came to visit you at work~"

"What you two so long?" Kenji-san asked with a big grin as he patted the vacant spot next to him. "Over here, Kyoko."

"EH?! NO WAY!" Heisuke cried when he spotted us. "W-what are you two doing here dressed like that?"

"It was Kyoko-chan's idea." I said while pointing to Kyoko-chan before I went to go take a seat next to Souji. I think I'll leave her to answer all the questions.

"Kyoko-chan's idea, huh?" Souji asked while eyeing me as I took the small sake flask from him to pour him sake. "Well, I won't complain. But I still prefer it when you're wearing nothing at all."

"Of course you do." I snorted. "I think the real question is: why do I bother getting dressed at all anymore? Everything always ends up on the floor anyways."

Souji shot me a smug grin before drinking his sake. Saito-san, who was sitting next to Souji, turned bright red when he heard snippets of our conversation. Saito-san was still extremely awkward when it came to the subject of romance, women, or anything related. I shot Saito-san an apologetic look before taking a small sip of sake from Souji's cup.

"Because," Souji answered with his grin before coming dangerously close to my ear, "it's so much more fun to…unwrap you."

"Souji, you shouldn't tease her so much in public." Sano-san butt in to our conversation while closely watching Ibuki-kun and Kosuzu-chan with a smile. "You know how these things always end."

I flushed red at that comment. Was Sano-san suggesting what I think he was? Furthermore, how did he know how they always ended?

"You can be surprisingly loud, ya know." Sano-san said while drinking another cup of sake.

"L-loud?" I stuttered. If I was red before, then there are no words to describe how bright red I was now. Souji was always complaining that I wasn't loud enough. D-did that mean everyone could hear me on those nights? I quickly turned to Shinpachi-san to demand an answer.

"Well…" Shinpachi-san said while scratching the back of his head, "Loud enough to know how often you two do it. Damn, it's enough to make me jealous of how regularly Souji gets some."

"W-what?!" I squeaked before turning to Souji. "Y-you're always saying I'm not l-loud e-enough!"

Oh, embarrassment, how long has it been my old friend? It's been years since you've come visit me like this! Unfortunately, it hasn't been long enough.

"You're never loud enough for me." Souji said with a smirk. "I like to judge how well I'm doing by how vocal you are."

I don't think I've ever been this red before. Fine! Let's see how Souji likes it when I'm not in the mood later on! …Even though I think that now, I'd probably just give in later if Souji asks… It's too difficult for me to say no to him.

* * *

><p>"Where's Saito-san?" I asked Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, and Heisuke as I approached them on the temple steps.<p>

I could see the men that Saito-san normally instructed swinging their swords in practice, but the man in question was nowhere in sight. It wasn't like Saito-san to ditch his responsibilities. So where was he and what was he doing?

"Saito said somethin' about someone being late to practice before leaving to fetch em'." Shinpachi-san explained from his seated spot next to Heisuke.

So I see. I guess the question should be changed to: who is the person that was gutsy enough to be late for practice? Saito-san did take sword practice very seriously, after all.

"Oh, there he is." Sano-san pointed out as Saito-san returned with… Ibuki-kun?

That was strange. I always though Ibuki-kun was someone who didn't want to learn how to wield a sword properly. Maybe he had a change of heart after a night out with Kosuzu-chan?

"Hey… is that Ryunosuke?" Heisuke asked while blinking.

"I guess so." I said as I took a seat next to Sano-san to see how thing would turn out.

Saito had Ibuki-kun stand a bit to the side of the main training group before having Ibuki-kun pull out his katana. Ibuki-kun hesitantly pulled his sword in front of him in a shaky, incorrect middle stance.

"Since you have decided to begin training, you must first learn the basics." Saito-san stated as he began to instruct Ibuki-kun.

Seemingly displeased at being dragged outside to train, Ibuki-kun turned the other way while muttering under his breath, "Not that I decided to do this…"

Saito-san made a small sound of disapproval while raising his brow before Ibuki-kun quickly got back into position.

"Fine!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed with slight determination after hearing that sound of disapproval.

Not wasting any time, Saito-san quick tapped on Ibuki-kun's knee with his hand to try to correct Ibuki-kun's messy stance.

"Huh?" Ibuki-kun asked in confusion at Saito-san's actions.

"Bring your right leg forward. Shift your left leg back." instructed Saito-san.

"Huh?"

"Have the sword pointed directly over your opponent's head like so." Saito-san said while getting into his own stance to use as an example. "This is the basic stance."

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun said while quickly following Saito-san's example.

"When holding your katana's hilt, put strength into your grasp starting from the pinkie fingers going up."

"Okay!" Ibuki-kun said before swinging his sword up and down haphazardly.

"Not like that."

"Like this?"

"Don't hold it from the side."

"Huh?"

"When you strike at someone, you would have to control it just with your thumbs."

"Okay, got it." Ibuki-kun said as Saito-san backed away to allow adequate room for Ibuki-kun to practice.

"There's no need to teach Ryunosuke swordsmanship." Heisuke commented after watching Saito-san instruct Ibuki-kun.

"Why not?" said Shinpachi-san. "He's finally decided to learn it."

"That's right!" Sano-san added with a smile. "If Ryunosuke is trying to change, why not let him?"

"Uh-huh…" said Heisuke as he turned back to watch Ryunosuke practice.

"Good." Saito-san commented on Ryunosuke's stance. "Now to start off, you can give me one thousand swings this afternoon."

"What?!" exclaimed Ibuki-kun.

Saito-san was a serious and good instructor when it came to teaching swordsmanship, but he might be a bit too serious when it came to dealing with Ibuki-kun. Feeling a bit more inspired after watching Ibuki-kun, I stood back up and twirled around to face the three men who were still sitting on the temple steps.

"Anyone feel up to a little practice spar?" I asked cheerfully. "I want to know how much I've improved after spending some time training with Hijikata-san."

Sano-san grinned at my infectious happiness and stood up.

"Why not?" Sano-san said while grabbing his spear. "Let's see how much the Roshigumi's princess has improved since coming to Kyoto."


	39. Chapter 39

Another quick update because I don't have work today. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 39<strong>

"Honor from death," I snap, "is a myth. Invented by the war torn to make sense of the horrific. If we die, it will be so that others may live. Truly honorable death, the only honorable death, is one that enables life." ― Rae Carson, The Girl of Fire and Thorns

The whole temple courtyard fell quiet as the all the men paused everything that they were doing to watch the strange scene unfold. To the normal rank-and-file soldiers of the Roshigumi, I was just known to them as the daughter of the Commander and the wife to the First Division Captain. They did not see me as the official medical professional of the Roshigumi or even as someone significantly important. I was just someone who was there because of my relationship to the high ranking officers. It must have been a surprising for them to see me challenge one of the captains to a sparring match. Even though the normal soldiers did see that I normally carried a naginata, that did not mean they believed that I knew how to fight properly. After all, the naginata is seen more of a status symbol for upper class women nowadays rather than an actual weapon to fight with.

The other captains within the area focused their attention on Sano-san and I as well. They were curious of how well I would do against Sano-san because other than seeing me kill that first rasetsu on that night, they haven't really seen me in action at all in the past few months despite me joining them on their rasetsu hunts every time one broke out of the Maekawa house. While I did originally spar with all of them upon arriving in Kyoto, I had stopped most forms of practice with them after a few months of arriving in this city.

Right before I ceased practicing with the main captains, I had noticed something mindboggling about my improvement with my naginata. While I had improved a quite a bit since I first started out, I actually had stopped improving so much awhile back before coming to Kyoto. It was only after one month in Kyoto I had realized that I hadn't made any largely significant improvements for awhile and that my growth had slowed to a crawl the autumn before I came to Kyoto. I didn't understand why I had stopped improving now. It wasn't that I wasn't working hard or practicing nearly everyday. I trained frequently, so why had I stopped improving? Unwilling to just leave the situation as it was, I ceased training with the main guys to examine the possible factors contributing to this bizarre problem.

After much silent debate and time, I had managed to isolate the cause of the problem. Being surrounded by a group of extremely talented men who excelled in combat, I had naturally and unconsciously tried to copy their movements and fighting styles, which were ill-suited for me. I wasn't like them. My body was small and possessed relatively little physical strength. My movement was slightly below average in battle despite my amazing ability to read people in battle and to strike with great accuracy. I would never be able to move or attack as gracefully as most of the guys. The battle styles I was subconsciously trying to copy were hindering me. I didn't truly have my own fighting style to improve upon, hence the lack of growth in combat.

This lack of growth was undesirable to me. While the initial skill I possessed may have been adequate enough to fend off the ronin from when I first met Kyoko-chan, if those men had been a bit more skilled then I wouldn't have stood much of a chance. I didn't want to stop improving. The reason I had decided to learn how to fight in the first place was so I could defend myself. I never wanted to feel that crushing sense of helplessness ever again. That feeling of lost hope and the inability to save myself was suffocating. The ability to fight, to defend myself had become symbolic to me. It was my independence, my strength to move past obstacles, it was my freedom from the claws of fear. To stop improving signified weakness. The sense of helplessness I had thought I had left behind on the day I decided to learn how to fight came creeping back in with a vengeance.

It was in the time of my crisis that Hijikata-san offered his help. Noticing that I had stopped most of my practicing sessions with the guys, Hijikata-san must have realized that my claim that I was too busy to practice was a lie and that something was very wrong. Instead of accepting my lie, like everyone else begrudgingly did, Hijikata-san bulldozed right pass my wall of defenses and forced me to reveal the truth.

After hearing the truth, Hijikata-san arranged to have all his sword practice sessions with me despite my adamant protests. He wasn't someone I regularly practiced with because of how busy he was all the time. Surely he had much better things to do than waste his time fixing my problems, but he insisted fervently until I relented. Now in hindsight, Hijikata-san was the perfect person to help solve my issue with. Just like me, Hijikata-san wasn't exceptionally talented in swordsmanship like all the other guys were. While everyone else was extremely smooth and graceful in practice, Hijikata-san's movements were abrupt, jerky, and aesthetically displeasing to the eye. But ultimately, despite the poor presentation of grace, his battle style worked well. Because his fighting style did what it was supposed to do, Hijikata-san did not lose very often. In the end, one could be graceful and beautiful in practice, but in a real battle, no one cares how beautiful one's style looks and it was the brutish, ungraceful styles that did what was need to win. Battle is not supposed to be heroic or beautiful, but it was doing what needed to be done.

Stopping at a stone paved, vacant spot in the temple courtyard that had an adequate amount of space, I turned to face Sano-san with my weapon readied in front of me. Sano-san prepared his stance with his spear poised in striking position. Because all the practice weapons at the temple at the current moment were all wooden swords, Sano-san and I were going to use our real weapons. Of course, since this was a sparring match, we left the sheaths on our blades to prevent any serious injuries. Everyone watch with abated breaths as Sano-san took the first move.

Shooting his spear forward with incredible speed, Sano-san thrust his spear towards my chest. I quickly twirled my naginata in front of me to knock away the spear while stepping back from the assault. In the time I had spent training with Hijikata-san, I had come to love twirling my weapon around like a baton. A well place spin of a long pole like weapon presented the illusion of having the ability to strike from any location as well as hiding many holes in a defense. It also prevent the opponent from reading my moves with ease. Completely unfazed by the failed hit, Sano-san pressed forward and aimed three more thrust at my right side.

Knowing where all the attacks were going, due to my ability to read muscle movement before each strike, I jumped back to dodge the first attack and before parrying the last two with another twirl of my weapon.

"Oh?" Sano-san said with slight pride. "It seems like our little princess has gotten a bit faster, but you know, you can't win if you don't attack back."

"I know." I replied back slyly. In his last attack, Sano-san had pushed me off the stone pavement of the temple's central courtyard and onto the unpaved dirt on the side. This was exactly what I was waiting for.

Quickly spinning my weapon in front of me once more, I feigned an attack to cover what I was really doing. Using the pole end of my weapon, I loosened the packed soil of the dirt floor when my weapon hit the ground during my earlier spin. Sano-san easily moved out of the way of my fake attack before thrusting his spear at me again. At the moment of that thrust I saw the opening I was waiting for. With a quick and precise twirl of my weapon, I used the butt of my weapon to throw the loosened soil from earlier at Sano-san's eyes. Sano-san was clearly not expecting that move and his stance immediately collapsed as the dirt entered his eyes while his attack harmlessly went wide. Quickly taking advantage of this enormous opening, I swept my weapon behind his knees to get him to stumble. While Sano-san was amidst his little stumble, I spun from my position in front of him to one behind him. With a sharp and firm swing of my weapon, my sheathed blade smashed mercilessly onto the pressure point in the back Sano-san neck, knocking him unconscious. It was quick, ungraceful, and dirty, but a win is a win.

I quickly turned around after straightening up from that final strike when I heard a wooden practice sword drop to the floor, breaking the silence that had formed after my victory. Saito-san's little class stared at me slack-jawed and with budging eyes. Despite the somewhat dishonorable method I had used to achieve victory, I still did manage to knock one of the respected captains unconscious.

"AHH!" Heisuke yelled with his hands on his head, completely shattering the rest of the silence. "You've killed Sano-san! What do we do, Shinpat-san?!"

"Eh?" Shinpachi-san said before snapping out of his daze. "Wait! You mean Shizuka-chan actually killed Sano?! I thought she just knocked him out! Shizuka, how could you?!"

Saito-san sighed at the two's outlandish imagination before stepping in to handle the situation.

"Stop exaggerating. Shizuka only knocked Harada unconscious. Go carry him back to headquarters." Saito-san ordered.

"Err, right!" said Heisuke as he became serious again. "I just always wanted to say that…"

"Wait… You mean Shizuka-chan didn't really kill Sano?" Shinpachi-san asked perplexedly.

"Of course not! What are you? Blind? Shizuka-chan would never willingly kill Sano-san." Heisuke snorted back.

"Right… I knew that…" Shinpachi-san said with slight embarrassment before throwing one of Sano-san's arms over his shoulders and facing me. "You'd better come back with us too, Shizuka-chan. Sano's bruises need to be taken care of."

"But that was amazing." Heisuke said cheerfully as he helped Shinpachi-san with Sano-san. "Who knew that you could actually knock out Sano-san, even if you did fight dirty?"

I picked up Sano-san spear from the floor before skipping after Heisuke and Shinpachi-san on the way back to the compound. "It was dirty, but you know that there is no such thing as a clean fight in reality. A win is a win despite the method used to achieve it."

"What are you doing?" I heard Saito-san scold his men in the fading background as I left the temple grounds with Heisuke, Shinpachi-san, and the unconscious Sano-san. "I never told you to take a break. Continue with practice!"

Back at headquarters, I had Heisuke and Shinpachi-san drop Sano-san off in the medical wing before I set to work to patch the bruises I had created. The damage wasn't serious, but Sano-san had a massive bruise forming on the back of his neck. I may have it him a bit too hard there. Even though it did not take a lot of force to knock a person unconscious if the pressure point was used, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to knock Sano-san out with one blow so I put extra force into hit. My bad. Sano-san was now going to wake up with a massive headache.

"I feel like I just woke up with a massive hangover." Sano-san predictably said sluggishly with one hand on his head from the futon he was laying on after several minutes of being unconscious. Quickly dropping the busywork I was doing to pass time while waiting for him to wake up, I rushed to Sano-san side to help him sit up.

"Sorry. That was my fault." I said remorsefully. I hadn't meant to hit him that hard.

"Nah, it's fine. It's my own fault for letting my guard down like that." Sano-san said affably before reaching out to tenderly touch the spot where I had smashed my weapon into. "Ouch!"

"Don't touch it!" I scolded him maternally with a slight frown. "Leave it alone so it can heal. I already rubbed some ointment into the bruise to numb some of the pain."

"Numb some of the pain? How hard did you hit me?" Sano-san asked in alarm.

"Harder than I care to admit." I said before apologizing to him once more. "Sorry."

"I said it was fine." Sano-san said with a small sigh before ruffling my hair with a smile. "The bruise will heal, but I think the bruise on my ego might suffer for awhile. The soldiers did see me get knocked out by a woman little more than half my size."

"Well that your fault for letting your guard down." I said jokingly with my nose in the air before breaking out into giggles. "Stay here and get some rest for the rest of the day, okay? I'll go cook you something to eat right now. So, what do you feel like eating?"

"Hmm… it's been awhile since I had some udon."

"Alright. Just sit tight, I'll be back soon with your food."

* * *

><p>"Going back to check on Sano-san again?" Souji asked me with a envious glower as the trailed along slightly behind me while I headed back to the medical wing. It had been a few hours since my last visit.<p>

The rest of the day had past without another hiccup and I was now heading back to the medical wing to ask Sano-san what he wanted to eat for dinner as the setting sun painted the white walls a brilliant orange color. Sure I was mothering him a bit too much, to Souji's displeasure, but I was the one that injured him in the first place. Even if guilt had nothing to do with it, I still liked to spoil everyone, though not as much as Souji.

"I was the one that injured him in the first place, so doesn't make sense that I'm the one that makes sure that he recovers comfortably?" I answered without a pause in my step.

"But he wasn't even hurt that badly in the first place. It's just a bruise." Souji complained. "I can't believe you told Hijikata-san to give Sano-san the rest of the day off. You know I had to take his patrol?"

"Still, it was my fault in the first place." I stated again.

"It wasn't your fault. Sano-san is the one that let his guard down, so it's his fault that he has that tiny bruise in the first place." Souji said, intentionally minimizing the size of Sano-san bruise.

"But…" I started before trailing off and stopping in place as I saw someone I didn't recognize leaving the Maekawa house out of the corner of my eye.

Strange, out of all the people one could find in the Roshigumi headquarters, another woman besides Kyoko-chan and myself was extremely usual. This woman wore a beautifully blue and goldenrod colored kimono. Despite being Japanese, this woman had blonde hair that was gracefully twisted into what appeared to be a french twist. Maybe she had some European ancestry? Who was this woman and what business did she have with the Roshigumi? She was coming from the Maekawa house, so she probably had some business with Serizawa or one of his men. It couldn't be Niimi since he was spending all of his time working on the Water of Life and I couldn't see Hirama as a man that would bring personal business in to the Roshigumi headquarters from the outside. As for Ibuki-kun, it would be ridiculous to even suggest that she was here to see him. The person she had business with was probably Serizawa, but what did she need Serizawa for? Her clothing told me she was no courtesan. Perhaps a merchant? From the disappointed expression on her face, I could guess that whatever she came to do did not go well.

"Shizuka?" Souji asked curiously when I stopped walking.

"Look over there." I whispered back to Souji while pointing at the woman. "Who do you think she is and what business do you think she had with Serizawa?"

"Who cares?" Souji shrugged carelessly at my question.

Feeling nosy and a need to satisfy my curiosity, I waited for the woman to walk past me and Souji before calling out to her to catch her attention.

"Um, excuse me?" I called out tentatively. The blonde-haired woman paused and turned around to face me when she heard me speak. "Is everything alright? You look quite a bit downtrodden."

"Oh!" she said slightly embarrassed when she realized she wasn't hiding her disappointment as well as she thought she was. "It's nothing. Please do not worry about me. I will be fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked doubtfully. "If it's something to do with Serizawa then it might be better to tell me. Serizawa is a difficult man for a person to deal with alone."

The woman was silent for a bit as she contemplated my words before she decided there would be no harm in telling me what was causing her so much distress.

"My husband, Hishiya the tailor, gave me strict instructions not return to our shop until I collected the payment for the uniforms that Serizawa-sama ordered. Unfortunately, I was just told that Serizawa-sama is not currently in."

"Eh? So Serizawa-san hasn't paid for the uniforms yet?" Souji said as a statement rather than question as he raised his brow. "Tough luck there. If he hasn't paid yet then that means he never intended to in the first place."

I knew Serizawa ordering tailored uniforms for the whole Roshigumi out of good will was too good to be true!

"Surely you jest." the woman said in denial. "I will return again tomorrow to ask for Serizawa-sama once more."

"No, it's better if you don't." I said. "Serizawa is a volatile man and who know what he'll do to you if he decides that you're a nuisance."

"But I must." the woman answered with determination. "Hishiya demands it so."

"Very well." I said while admiring the woman's steel-like determination. She was tough. "Then please follow me. I'll pay the tailor fees instead."

"Shizuka, I thought you hated Serizawa-san." Souji said, preventing me from heading to my new destination. "So, why are you offering to pay for him?"

"I'm not paying for Serizawa." I said a bit annoyed. "I'm paying for the Roshigumi. Even though Serizawa was the one that ordered the uniform to be made, all the members wear the uniforms. Each one of the members that has ever worn the uniform is also responsible for massive fee. Besides, if the tailor fees aren't paid off, it's the Roshigumi as a whole that will look bad, not just Serizawa. It may harm any possible partnerships the Roshigumi may have in the future if the fees aren't paid off.

Souji sighed in defeat at my explanation, "So to the bank?"

I nodded before taking the lead. "This way please. Oh! I never did ask for your name. My name is Okita Shizuka and this is my husband Okita Souji. I apologize for the inconvenience you faced while trying to collect the fees."

"It was trying, but I am glad that Roshigumi does have some honest people in it. My name is Oume. It is a pleasure to meet you and your danna-sama."

In the end the tailor fees were paid off before the sun had fully set and Oume-san returned back to her shop with pleasant smile on her face. However, the uniforms that Serizawa ordered for the Roshigumi were terribly expensive. A good deal of the funds I had managed to procure for the Roshigumi had vanished in an instant. Hopefully the relationship Father and Hijikata-san had managed to build up with the sumo stable master from Osaka could result in a sumo performance that could be used to add more funds for Roshigumi use.

"So what are you going to tell Hijikata-san when explaining why the Roshigumi funds are suddenly so low?" Souji asked me from behind as I prepared dinner for tonight. He had wrapped his arms around my waist and put his chin on my shoulder while I was stirring the miso soup.

"I'll just tell him the truth." I said as I added the tofu into the pot. "I'm sure Hijikata-san will see it from my point of view. We can't have the Roshigumi's name sink any lower than it already has."

"Hmm… I see." Souji said before taking a small sip of soup from the ladle I had brought up to his lips. "It needs more salt."

"You know, too much salt is bad for the body." I said with a frown. "The body will naturally accumulate more water in order to dilute the excess amount of sodium in the body. The extra water in the body will increase the blood volume in the bloodstream, resulting in extra pressure and more work for the heart. Over time, the extra pressure and work will stiffen the blood vessels, thus resulting in high blood pressure, heart attack, and/or stroke."

"Fine." Souji pouted. "Don't add anymore salt then."

* * *

><p>"Little Ai-chan was really cute!" I gushed on the way back home in the late morning with Souji.<p>

Little Ai-chan was a one year old baby I had left to go treat for a fever in the middle of last night. Ai-chan's mother appeared at the headquarters last night asking for me and begged Hijikata-san to let me accompany her back to her house to treat the one year old girl that had come down with a slight fever. Apparently the mother had heard about me through her next door neighbor, who was friends with Kyoko-chan's family. Unwilling to let me leave the compound alone, Souji had decided to come with me in this little event. The baby had nothing serious, just a small ear infection that was easily treated with the draining of the excess fluid from the middle ear.

The treatment itself did not take too long but I stayed behind to monitor the baby for a few hours because she was so young. Nothing went wrong in the end and when little Ai-chan woke up again in the morning she spent the whole time smiling and laughing at me.

"Yeah." Souji agreed with me with a gentle expression on his face as he watched me frolic around a bit.

"Having her smile and laugh at me all morning makes me wish now that I had one of my own." I said cheerfully as I slowed back down to a normal paced walk.

Souji chuckled at me, "Don't worry. I'm sure we'll have a couple of our own before long, especially with the way I've been going at you."

Blood rushed to my face at the last part of his statement before I stopped walking to turn towards him while making a face.

"While it's no secret what a husband and wife do behind closed doors, did you have to say that in public?"

"Why not?" Souji replied with a grin. "You look cute when you blush. Come on, let's stop for some dango before heading back."

I pouted at Souji once more before taking his arm and letting him lead me to a small teahouse near the side of the road. Much to my glee and surprise, as we approached the teahouse, I spotted Kosuzu-chan and Ibuki-kun sitting outside on the bench together. Their relationship was blooming quite nicely.

"Oh, yeah!" I heard Ibuki-kun exclaim as Souji and I approached the teahouse. I quickly pulled Souji to side so we could eavesdrop on the conversation without being spotted. Souji raised his eyebrow at me, but said nothing. "Shimabara is going to be quiet for a bit." Ibuki-kun continued.

"Why is that?" asked Kosuzu.

"Serizawa-san will be going to Osaka in a couple of days due to work."

"Osaka?"

"Yeah. I'll be going with him."

"Shimabara may be okay, but I'm worried that he might torment the maiko and geisha in Osaka…"

"I'll make sure that Serizawa-san doesn't get rough with them."

"Really? I'll hold you to that!" Kosuzu said cheerfully.

"Hmm… Are you sure you want to do that?" Souji said with a wry grin as he stepped out from behind the wall I pulled him behind. "Ibuki-kun is pretty useless and is always getting thrown around by Serizawa-san."

I facepalmed when Souji stepped out of our hiding place just to tease Ibuki-kun. Deciding that our cover was blown I stuck out my head from behind Souji and waved at Kosuzu-chan.

"Kosuzu-chan!" I called happily.

"Ah! It's you two!" Ibuki-kun exclaimed in surprise at our arrival before pointing at Souji accusingly. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Exactly what I said. You're always getting beaten around by his iron fan, aren't you?" Souji pointed out teasingly.

"Ignore them." I said to Kosuzu cheerfully. "You don't need to look so worried. My husband and I will also being going to Osaka too. I can help keep an eye on Ibuki-kun and Serizawa. Everything will be fine."


	40. Chapter 40

Wow... I never thought I would make it to chapter 40 O.O

Did everyone enjoy Christmas?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 40<strong>

"She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love... That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own." ― Veronica Roth, Allegiant

"Well then, Serizawa-san," Father said right before we prepared to part ways for the rest of the day, "we have other errands to attend to, so if you pardon us."

The Roshigumi was requested to protect the daimyo in Osaka. The mission went without a bump, but now that the mission was over, Serizawa wanted to go to the red light district in Osaka to play while Father and Hijikata-san still had business to take care of. We all had decided to walk with Serizawa to the entrance of the red light district before splitting off to take care of what Father and Hijikata-san intended to do. I believe Father and Hijikata-san wanted to talk to the sumo stable master again about a fundraiser. The Roshigumi was now a little pressed for money after paying for the tailor fees.

"Yeah. That's fine." Serizawa said.

Father bowed politely to Serizawa before he began to lead everyone else away, but before Father could completely lead us all away, Serizawa called out to Shinpachi-san.

"Nagakura-kun, I take it you will accompany me."

"M-me?" Shinpachi-san stuttered back. Poor Shinpachi-san did not want to spend the whole night sitting with Serizawa and doing damage control.

Serizawa only nodded for an answer before turning to enter the red light district.

"Well…" Shinpachi-san managed to say before he realized no one was listening to him and had already started to go their separate ways.

Souji grinned and winked at me before turning back around to tease Shinpachi-san with a, "Good luck!" While it may have been intend as a teasing gesture, Shinpachi-san could probably need all the luck he could get.

"H-hey!" Shinpachi-san cried after us before hanging his head in defeat when he realized that we had abandoned him to his fate. Seriously, poor Shinpachi-san.

"Think about what you would want to eat." I called back to him. He deserved a small treat later if he was going to deal with Serizawa tonight. "I make it for you when we return to Kyoto, so hang in there."

Souji grinned at me once more before he grabbed my hand and pulled me close so that he could whisper discretely into my ear after he had has his fill with teasing Shinpachi-san.

"Since now that everything important has been taken care of, why don't we sneak off for a bit?" Souji blew into my ear before he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"But what about the meeting with the stable master?" I whispered back to him. "Shouldn't we stay around incase they need our help or something?"

"They won't be needing us. Hijikata-san is the one that arranged the meeting, so he's the only one other than Kondou-san that really has to stay." Well, Souji did have a point there.

"Okay, so where are we sneaking off to?"

"Well, there's somewhere I want to go visit…"

"Okay then." I said with a peck on his cheek. "Let's go—"

"And where do you two think you are going?" Saito-san said; bring everyone's attention on us. Damn. Why did Saito-san have to be so strict? "We are not done with our business in Osaka yet. You two can go off and fun later."

"Aww…" I deflated pitifully. Father and Hijikata-san both panicked slightly when they saw the disappointed face I was making at both of them.

"Well… umm…" Father started.

"I… Ahem… well I'm sure we can take care of everything without them…" Hijikata-san answered rashly.

"Y-yes! Exactly what Toshi said!" Father quickly added. "Why don't you go take Shizu-chan to go have some fun, Souji? It has been awhile since she last came to Osaka."

Ah, the sad face always works every time. Well, most of the time. Gen-san just smiled and shook his head at me while Souji shot me a quick, secretive wink.

"Sure." Souji agreed. "We'll head back to the inn after we're done."

Father turned around and returned to leading everyone to where they were to meet the stable master while Souji tugged my hand in the other direction.

"Works every time, doesn't it?" Souji said with a smirk.

"So where is it you want to go?" I asked with a giggle.

"To the bridge we were on last time we were both here in Osaka." Souji said as he led us to towards our destination.

* * *

><p>"So why did you want to come here?" I asked Souji. Instead of heading directly to the bridge, Souji decided to wander the city a bit first before heading to the bridge after the sun had set.<p>

"Because…" Souji said with a sly smile. "Remember what happened here last time? We have some unfinished business I would like to take care of."

"What happened here?" Nothing too important, right? And what's this unfinished business?

"Just think back a bit before you answer me." Souji urged.

Okay then, let's see what I can recall. Well, Souji led me out here the last time we were here together. He pulled on my hand hard enough so that I fell against him, he moved his face strangely close to mine, I asked him if he made up with Hijikata-san yet, and then Father came to speak to Souji alone. I really didn't understand what he wanted me to recall. Clearly having enough of my blank stare, Souji sighed with resign.

"Seriously? We've been married all these months and you still can't figure it out?" Souji asked, unimpressed with my inability to figure out what he was talking about. "Let's see if you can figure it out after I give you a clue."

And with that, Souji tugged on my hand hard enough for me to loose my balance and fall against him, but something else happened a bit differently this time. The thing about having a really tall weapon strapped on to your back is that you have to be really careful how you move within close proximity with other people. Souji was lucky the last time he pulled me against him when I had my weapon on me. Last time when he pulled me close to him, the handle of my naginata missed his face by chance and because of that he didn't take my weapon into account this time.

"OUCH!" Souji cried as he let go of me and quickly stepped back while holding his forehead.

The handle of my weapon hit his face this time when I fell against him. It really looked like a person stepping on a rake in those old cartoons I used to watch on Saturday mornings when I was a kid in my past life, but it wasn't quite so funny this time.

"Souji!" I cried out in alarm.

I quickly rushed to his side and pried away the hand he was using to hold his forehead to examine the seriousness of his injury.

"Are you okay? Did it hit you in the eye? How much does it hurt?" I asked, each question shooting out of my mouth with the speed similar to that of a bullet from a machine gun.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Souji answered as I continued to examine his forehead. "Don't worry so much. I'm pretty sure it's just a bruise."

"Are you sure?" I asked only to have my question ignored.

"So can you figure out what the unfinished business is with the clue I just gave you?" Souji asked as he waved away my hands as I tried to examine his injury further.

"What clue? You just hit yourself in the face with my weapon when you pulled me hard enough to fall against you." I said as I pushed his hands away and continued to fuss over his injury. That was a hard hit and to the face too!

"Seriously?"

"Well, you did pull me enough so that I fell against you, but that's not the point."

"That was the whole point."

"Eh? Why would you do that? …Oh!" Suddenly everything clicked.

"Get it now?" Souji asked while quirking his eyebrow. "You're still slow, but you're a lot better than before."

I nodded. He wanted a kiss. Did that mean he wanted that last time we were here too? Well, that was embarrassing.

"So can I finally collect now?" Souji asked with a wry smile as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me close, carefully moving out of weapon's handle way this time.

"You know you don't have to ask. You're free do so any time you want." I said before I closed the distance between us.

Despite the night being warm with the summer breeze, the temperature difference between Souji's touch and the surrounding air was enough to send shivers up my spine. It was a simple and chaste kiss with no tongue or no wandering hands, but the simplicity of the kiss did not make it any less wonderful as all the other steamy kisses I had received. It was simple but lovely. Souji lingered for a little while before he pulled away, but left his hands on my hips.

"So what made you want to collect that kiss?" I asked curiously. "Most people would forget about a single kiss they missed in the past, especially when they could get a kiss anytime they wanted in the present."

"Because, every moment is precious and should never be taken for granted. I remember the day I almost lost you when you were almost raped and because of that… No matter how big or small, each moment should never be missed or taken for granted." Souji whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. "Come on, it's late. We should head back to the inn."

He pulled his head away from mine before he wrapped one arm around me and began directing me toward the inn. This night was wonderful and I was sure nothing could ruin it. Just as Souji and I approached the front entrance of the inn the Roshigumi was staying in, Father, Hijikata-san, and Ibuki-kun burst out the build and brushed past us as they began running in the direction of the red light district.

Something was most defiantly wrong. Ibuki-kun was grabbed by Shinpachi-san before they were both dragged off to spend the night with Serizawa. If Ibuki-kun was here to get Father and Hijikata-san then Serizawa must be tormenting the civilians in some form. I quickly tore out of Souji's arms and ran after the trio. I normally would have just let Hijikata-san deal with these type of situations, but I had promised Kosuzu-chan that I would keep an eye on Serizawa with Ibuki-kun this time.

"Shizuka?!" Souji cried after me.

"I'm going to go help! Just wait at the inn for me!" I called back to stop Souji from coming after me. "I'll be fine! Father and Hijikata-san will be there too, so don't worry!"

I quickly ran after those three from earlier. They were already out of sight, but I was pretty sure I knew where they were going. Serizawa was probably causing trouble in the biggest and fanciest geisha establishment in the red light district of Osaka. I only hoped I wasn't going to arrive too late to help.

"Please forgive me!" I heard a woman cry as I entered a hallway in the biggest geisha establishment I could find in the red light district. I quickened my pace and found a room with the door wide open and Father standing in the doorway.

"Hijikata-san!" I heard Ibuki-kun yell before I rushed into the room, surprising Father as I breezed past him.

The room was a terrible mess. The small tray tables that food was served on were overturned. There was food smeared all over the tatami mat floor and broken shards of ceramic dishes everywhere. A wall of shoji doors was smashed to pieces as a beat up Ibuki-kun kneeled on the floor amidst the smashed doors. He must have been thrown through the doors. But the most shocking sight was Hijikata-san holding down a geisha with his short sword posed to cut her hair.

"Don't move." Hijikata-san said to the geisha before his sword twitched forward.

"Wait!" I yelled at Hijikata-san, causing him to freeze in shock at my presence.

"Shizuka! What are you doing here?!" Hijikata-san yelled back in surprise at me. "Go back to the inn!"

"No! What the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be preventing these situations from happening, not aid them!" I yelled back before turning to Ibuki-kun to demand an answer. "Ibuki-kun tell me what happened! Now!"

"Serizawa said to punish the geisha for disrespecting him that he would cut off their hair as punishment, but he also said that since he's so drunk he might accidently cut off their heads!" Ibuki-kun quickly explained with desperation. "Hijikata-san said he would do it if it would satisfy Serizawa."

"Go back to the inn! Now!" Hijikata-san yelled at me sternly once again before shamefully saying, "I don't want you here to see this. Now go!"

"No!" I held my ground.

I promised Kosuzu-chan I would help Ibuki-kun and if he failed then it would break her heart. If the situation continued as is then Ibuki-kun would never be able to have a chance of having a life with Kosuzu-chan.

"Hmph!" Serizawa snorted as he watched all the drama.

I quickly looked at Serizawa through the corner of my eyes. Serizawa stood there with that stupid drunken flush on his face along with a smug grin. That bastard was enjoying all of this! But, if that horrid man was enjoying all of this then maybe there was a way to use that to protect the two geisha.

"Serizawa," I addressed that man sternly, "You said cutting off their hair was suffice, yes?"

"What do you think you silly girl! You must be deaf and dumb!" he insulted me.

"Will my hair be enough to take their place?" I asked seriously while glaring back at him. There was no point in trying to insult him back.

"Shizu-chan!" Father cried out in alarm. "What are you doing?!"

I knew that Serizawa absolutely hated me because of all the disrespect and trouble I caused him. If he knew that he could get me to suffer and get someone I considered family to inflict the suffering then he would not be able to resist the opportunity.

Just as I predicted, Serizawa's smug grin became wider at my offer. "Hahaha! So you're willing to take the punishment for women you never met before? Very well. Hijikata! Release that geisha and cut the girl's hair instead!"

At those words Hijikata-san's fierce expression melted into one of deep horror and sorrow. He thought of me like a little sister and now he was being forced to inflict harm on me? No, it didn't sit well with him at all. It was already hard enough for him to inflict harm on a stranger. It was going to be harder for him to hurt the one he considered family.

I silently went to go kneel next to the geisha that Hijikata-san was holding down to say words of comfort.

"Don't cry anymore, okay? Everything will be fine. I'll take your and your sister's place, so quickly leave the room." I said gently as I pried off Hijikata-san's hands.

Unlike the geisha who needed their long hair for work, I didn't exactly need my long hair. In fact, if it weren't for Souji, I probably would have already cut my hair shorter in the first place. Since we were both kids, Souji use to pull my hair down and run his fingers through it when we were alone together. He didn't have to say anything for me to know that he liked my hair long. While I did like all the different fancy things that one could do with long hair, it was a hassle I could live without. The amount of knots, tangles, and dirt that could collect in long hair was pretty scary. Souji might get a bit upset if I had my hair cut, but he would understand my reason and get over it. My hair would grow back.

"T-thank you! Thank you!" the geisha cried as they quickly made their way to the door.

"Shizuka…" Hijikata-san said my name sadly as I took my place in front of him.

"I will never forgive you if you give me a bad haircut." I said jokingly back to Hijikata-san. There was no need to for him to look so sad. Hair does grow back after all. I gave him a small smile to let him know everything was okay.

"You—" Hijikata-san said before giving me a strained smile. "Then you better not move and make me mess up."

Just as Hijikata-san was about to remove my kanzashi so that he could begin cutting my hair, Serizawa stopped him.

"Wait." Serizawa said with a wicked grin. The geisha, who were both at the door and about the leave froze in fear, both afraid that the man had changed his mind. "There were two geisha that insulted me and there is only one of you. There should be another punishment, should there not?"

"Serizawa-san!" Father called out in panic. "This punishment is already harsh enough to count for two people! Please let it slide!"

"Oh? If you don't want your daughter take another punishment then chose one of those geisha to come back to receive the other punishment." Serizawa said.

Father grit his teeth and backed down. He knew he could not win against Serizawa this time. That threat came too close for comfort to the escaping geisha, causing them to bolt out the door after that. Serizawa approached me and knelt down in front of me so he could slide a finger under my chin to force me to look back at him.

"Your other punishment…" Serizawa said out loud before smiling cruelly at me. "You can offer yourself to me. You are fairly pleasing to the eye."

I growled at him before I snapped at his fingers with my teeth. Serizawa quickly pulled his hand away to prevent himself from losing any fingers. How dare he!

"Don't. Touch. Me." I snarled back at him in dark rage. "You have no right to touch me. I swear I will bite off your dick if it even comes close to me."

"Hmph! The fiery ones are always the most fun to break. But no, I suppose the right to intimately touch you belongs to your brat of a husband." Serizawa said before reaching out to snatch my kanzashi out of my hair. No! I couldn't let him take that! "Then I'll be taking this instead."

"No! Give that back!" I cried in distress as I lunged at him. Hijikata-san quickly grabbed me and held me in place with great difficulty as I continued to struggle.

I couldn't let Serizawa take my kanzashi. That was the one that Souji brought for me. While I was rather dense when it came to romantic love, I wasn't dense enough to not realize what that kanzashi had come to symbolize. Souji bought that for me with the little money he had, despite it being so expensive. He was presenting to me with his very best and giving me his heart when he gave that kanzashi to me. I could not let Serizawa spit on Souji's efforts. I couldn't… no… I had to get it back…

"No… give it back… give it back..." I continued to plead in tears while knowing it was hopeless. Hijikata-san's grip on me was too tight. He was unwilling to let me go, afraid that Serizawa might do something worse to me if I attacked him.

"Oh? This hair piece is rather good quality." Serizawa taunted me with that terrible smirk of his. "I wonder how many coins it'll fetch when I pawn it off at the market? Hijikata, cut her hair now."

I fell silent as I grit my teeth and curled my hands in to fist. I hate him. I HATE him. I HATE HIM! My silent tears never ceased to fall as Hijikata-san set to work on my hair. I hate Serizawa, but I will never hate him as much as I hated myself for allowing him to take my kanzashi. How was I going to face Souji now? I had not only allowed another man to cut my hair short but also allowed said man to take the precious gift he had worked so hard to purchase to give to me. I was a terrible person.

* * *

><p>"Shizuka!" I heard Souji cry in distress when he spotted me in Father's arms when we returned to the inn.<p>

I had buried my face into Father's clothing. I couldn't face Souji like this. I had no more will to return to the inn after Hijikata-san had finished cutting my hair, so Father had to carry me back.

"Here, I'll take her now, Kondou-san." Souji said before taking me out of Father's arms and cradling me against his chest. Why was he still so gentle with me? Shouldn't he me mad at me for what I allowed to happen?

"What happened?! You were there too, Hijikata-san! How could you allow this to happen?!" Souji exploded in rage after I was safely in his arms.

Hijikata-san looked away in shame.

"You shouldn't put the blame only on Hijikata-san alone, Souji!" Shinpachi-san defended. "It wasn't his fault alone. Kondou-san, Ryunosuke, and I were there as well. None of us could do anything."

The tears that I had managed to stop flowing before started to trickle down my cheeks again as I spoke up.

"It's not their fault." I whispered. "I couldn't let those geisha suffer Serizawa's wrath because I made a promise. If you should be mad at anybody then it should be me. I allowed this to happen. I'm sorry. I'll understand if you don't want to see me right now..."

I broke into a silent sob afterwards. Souji's face lost its sharp edge as he tightened his hold on me and carried me away from everyone.

"No," he whispered gently to me before he kissed my forehead, "it's not your fault. It's never your fault."

"Okita! Wait!" A voice called out. Ibuki-kun ran as fast as he could down the inn's hall to catch up to us.

"What do you want?" Souji asked with great hostility.

"I-it's my fault everything happened." Ibuki-kun said while looking downcast. "If I didn't make that promise to Kosuzu then none of this would have happened…"

"You're right." Souji said darkly. "It's your fault all this happened, but it wasn't because of that promise. Shizuka told me the other night that she wanted you to runaway with that maiko so that the maiko could be free and so that you could be free of Serizawa. If Serizawa had managed to do something to those geisha tonight, you would have lost your chance with that maiko. If Shizuka didn't sacrifice everything she just did for you, then I would kill you right now. If you're really sorry, don't let Shizuka's sacrifice go to waste."

Ibuki-kun fell silent after what Souji had said and watched him carry me into the privacy of our room.

"Shhh, no more tears now." Souji said gently to me as he sat down on the futon and wiped away my tears. "You're okay. None of this is your fault. I'm not mad at you."

"H-how can you not be? I let another man hurt—" I said tearfully.

"You didn't let him hurt you." Souji said firmly. "Serizawa forcefully hurt you, but I really wish you would stop being so selfless all the time. You were lucky that it was just your hair and the kanzashi this time."

"I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm still here with you. It's okay if the your long hair and kanzashi are gone. I'm still here."


	41. Chapter 41

**Warning:** Suggestive themes

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 41<strong>

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ― Mark Twain

I was tickled awake by the gentle, warm, exhale of Souji's breath during the middle of the night. Souji had his face tucked into the back of the bare neck and his arm limply thrown over my torso as he continued to sleep peacefully while pressed up against my back. The long hair that had once flowed down to my lower back when unbound was now shoulder length and no longer covered the back of my neck when I laid down as well as it once did. That long hair had once prevented Souji from directly breathing on my neck while he slept and now that it was gone I had to quickly adjust to having Souji breathe on my neck, which I failed to do and was still failing to do.

When we all returned to Kyoto from the Osaka job, news of what had happened that night had already managed to spread to Kyoto. The ones that did not come on the job: Sannan-san, Sano-san, and Heisuke, had already heard what had happened in Osaka and tried to offer me words of comfort, but I refused to accept their comfort. I didn't need anymore words of comfort. Souji had already taken care of that when he calmed me down and told me that he wasn't upset with me. What was left behind after the sadness had faded was a deep-seated burning rage. Serizawa will get what is coming to him one way or another.

Shifting in the futon to get comfortable again, I attempted to go back to sleep. Just as I was about to fall a sleep again, I got the nagging feeling that a certain someone was going to randomly show up. What I predicted came true as the door was silently slid open and closed again as my sister-like friend tiptoed into the room with a silly smile on her face.

"Are you awake?" Kyoko-chan whispered before sitting down near my side of the futon.

"Yeah." I answered quietly to not wake up Souji. Souji had the first patrol tomorrow with Heisuke and he needed his sleep.

Even though he was asleep and Kyoko-chan was careful not to make any noise, Souji's sharp senses were still at work as he stirred in his sleep. His arms moved down to my waist and he pulled me even closer to him before he groaned.

"What are you doing here?" Souji groaned sleepily at Kyoko-chan as he pressed his face further against the back of my neck.

"I have some news for Shizuka-chan." Kyoko-chan quietly answered Souji.

Souji grunted in response before making himself comfortable again and drifted back into a half-asleep state.

"What's the news?" I asked quietly, mindful of Souji's tired, slumbering form next to me.

"You know how the news of what happened in Osaka already spread to Kyoto, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it had an interesting effect on how the civilians view the Roshigumi now."

Their perceptions changed? The point of me taking the place of the geisha that night was to prevent the Roshigumi name from sinking any lower and to ensure that Ibuki-kun still had a chance with Kosuzu-chan. Was this change a good change or a bad change? Just what did my actions do?

"Explain." I said before untangling myself from Souji's arms so I could sit up.

Souji groaned at my actions and groped around the futon for me with his eyes close. Realizing I was no longer laying down, Souji opened his eyes and looked at me with disapproval.

"Sorry." I quickly apologized to Souji while stroking the side of his face gently. "This should only take a few minutes."

Souji frowned at me but said nothing. Instead of returning to sleep, he just laid there with his eyes open and watched Kyoko-chan and I converse.

"You know how the public's perception of the Roshigumi is pretty negative?" Kyoko-chan continued.

"Yeah. Did the news of what happened in Osaka damage the Roshigumi's name anymore?" I asked with worry.

"That part is somewhat debatable."

"Debatable? What do you mean by that?" Just what did the events in Osaka do?

"Before, the Roshigumi was just seen by the civilians in a negative light, but the views have now split because of what you did." Kyoko-chan explained. "When the geisha were about to receive a harsh punishment from one of two the commanders of the Roshigumi, you, the daughter of the other commander and the wife of a captain, stood up and took the place of the two geisha. Because people take your actions as a reflection of what the other commander and captains would have done, most don't see the Roshigumi as wholly bad anymore."

"How is that debatable?" I asked confusedly. "If the people don't see the Roshigumi as completely bad anymore, then isn't that a good thing?"

"Well, normally yes, but also paints a picture of two opposing ends making up the Roshigumi. There is Serizawa: the 'big bad wolf' and there is your father's side: the protector 'sheepdog'. If there are factions in the Roshigumi, people will see it as divided which equals weak. The people will believe a weak organization cannot protect them while the ronin will disregard the Roshigumi even more, believing that the Roshigumi is not organized enough to stop crime." Kyoko-chan pointed out further. "Then, when we're talking about how people actually view the Roshigumi, there are currently two views."

"Are they good or are they both bad?" I questioned. It was easier for people to only see the bad, after all.

"Well, the first view is that the Roshigumi is not bad as it was previously thought to be, but it is still ultimately bad. Serizawa is seen as harsh and merciless while your father's faction is seen as kind. The civilians who have this view believe that Serizawa is a loose cannon and that your father's side, while kind, still blindly follow Serizawa's orders that harm the general public most of the time."

Okay, so that was really bad. Blindly follows orders? That implied that those civilians believed the the other Roshigumi authority figures were incompetent men that could not think for themselves. Maybe the other view was something better that can be worked with.

"And the other?" I asked, feeling a bit discouraged.

"The other is that the Roshigumi consists of decent men under bad authority. Your actions that night reflected the other commander's and captains' beliefs to the people and now those people believe that Serizawa is the infectious thorn that needs to be removed in order for the Roshigumi to function properly. Although, the people who have this view are still fearful of the Roshigumi because of past actions committed. While kind, your father and his men are still capable of great and terrible things."

"That second view's not so bad." Souji commented from the futon. "If we work from the angle of the second view, then Kondou-san can take full control of the Roshigumi if Serizawa is removed."

"You mean when." I corrected. "When Serizawa is disposed of."

"Sure." Souji shrugged at my correction.

"Because of that last view, some of the civilians are asking for Serizawa to step down from his position. They believe that it would be more peaceful and less terrifying with your father in control. If those people get loud enough, then Aizu will be forced to take action." Kyoko-chan added.

"So our next step now is making sure that Serizawa continues to make himself look bad while raising up everyone else's reputation." I said my thought out loud.

Kyoko-chan smirked confidently, "We have all we need to dispose of Serizawa now. Your actions on the night you took the place of those geisha created the noose and all that's left to do is to tighten it."

Ah, a sense of poetic justice. Serizawa had meant to hurt me that night, but even though he did succeed in hurting me, those actions that he took that night would now be used against him.

"Oh, I have another piece of news for you." Kyoko-chan added on as an afterthought. "Ibuki contacted Kenji earlier today to ask for help."

"Help?" I asked.

"He decide that he's going to take his chances with Kosuzu-chan. He's going to runaway with Kosuzu-chan as soon as Kenji get everything set up for him."

"So he decided to take my words seriously, huh?" Souji said while looking satisfied. "Looks like he's not as stupid as he looks."

"How long before he leaves?" I asked Kyoko-chan after glancing at Souji. Souji could be pretty mean at times.

"Everything should be ready for him in a couple of weeks." answered Kyoko-chan.

"Good riddance." Souji with a yawn.

"Okay," Kyoko-chan said as she made her exit, "now that you know, I need to sneak back home before my parents realized that I snuck out again. Last time's punishment for sneaking out was not fun. They're always lecturing me on how a lady with my appearance should act more like a proper lady."

"Why didn't you just wait until morning?" I asked. The information she told me was important, but not urgent. Why sneak out in the middle of the night?

"Because I couldn't sleep." she called back as she slipped out the door and out of sight.

"Really? Just because she couldn't sleep?" Souji snorted before he pulled me back down against him on the futon. "I hope she stops breaking in the middle of the night once she gets married."

"She probably will, but she will also probably start breaking in during the day more to make up for it." I pointed out as I shifted again to get comfortable. I loved Kyoko-chan and all, but I could live without the random night visits.

Souji grunted as an answer as his face found a comfortable spot once again against the back of my neck. After shifting in silence for a couple more minutes, he spoke up.

"I can't sleep anymore." he grumbled before rolling on top of me and pinning me below him. "Well since I can't sleep anymore, might as well make good use of this time."

"Now?" I asked in surprise when he untied the cord holding my sleeping robe shut.

"Why not?" he said as he tossed my sleeping robe to the side and set to work on his own. "If we have sex now, I'll be tired enough afterwards to fall asleep easily. Plus, how will you get pregnant if we don't have sex often? You did say you wanted a kid of your own and Kondou-san is waiting for his first grandchild."

"Me getting pregnant mostly has nothing to do with the number of times we have sex, but when. I can only get pregnant when I'm ovulating and even then, I only have a 15% to 25% chance of getting pregnant." I pointed out. "Are you even in the mood right now or is this just an effort to get me pregnant?"

"I'm not in the mood yet, but I'm sure that'll change real fast. And are you ovulating right now?" Souji asked before he lowered his mouth onto my left breast and started kneading my right with his hand.

"Mmm… I am, but that's not the point— Mmph…"

"Then I see no reason to stop." Souji said as he released my nipple with a popping sound from his mouth and went to suck on the side of that breast. He pushed a knee between my legs to push them apart so he could comfortably rest between my legs.

"Fine, but since it's in the middle of the night we have to be quiet. Ohh…" I said before sighing in pleasure when his nether regions brushed up against mine briefly. "Souji…"

* * *

><p>"Ah! There you are Shizu-chan." Father said as he called me over with a smile as I was finishing hanging the blankets to dry. "I need your help with some filing… Are you okay? You look a bit tired."<p>

"That's Souji's fault." I said before yawning. "He was trying to get me pregnant last night."

Actually, if I think about it now, Souji was probably trying to get me pregnant all those other times too. This was probably the reason for most of the sex we had been having. Father did mention that he would like to have grandkids to Souji before Souji and I got married.

"Oh! How's that going— I mean— Are you getting enough rest?" Father fumbled, revealing his real thoughts on the issue. He must really want those grandkids.

"You said you needed some help with filing?" I ignored what Father asked before.

"Hmm? Oh, that's right! Toshi's room is covered in papers and he didn't want to ask for any help." Father explained.

"Oh, so it's Hijikata-san that needs the help. I just finished washing and hanging the dirty sheets so I can go over and help him now." I said as I began to head towards Hijikata-san's room.

Father was right about Hijikata-san needing some help to sorting out his papers. His room was overflowing with papers he had no time to organize. As soon as I opened the door, Hijikata-san cried in panic when the pile of paper leaning against the door fell over and spilled outside. I looked tired? I willing to bet that Hijikata-san was more tired than I was.

"Need some help?" I asked wryly as I scooped up the papers that had spilled outside.

He sighed before giving me a defeated look, "Yes… some tea would be nice too…"

"Take a short break." I said as I put the papers in my arms on his desk before offering him an encouraging smile. "We can start organizing everything when I come back with your tea and some snacks."

"So," I said as I placed a cup of green tea and a plate of toasted mochi on the desk before sitting down next to him, "why did you let the mess get so bad? You know that I'm always willing to help you organize your papers when you're too busy to do it yourself."

Hijikata-san, who had brought the cup of tea to his mouth, paused and brought the cup back down without taking a sip before shamefully looking away from me. He remained silent as he struggled to come up with words to say.

"You're still feeling guilty about the hair incident in Osaka, aren't you?" I said the question as a statement. Hijikata-san stayed silent as his hands tightened around the ceramic cup in his lap. "You shouldn't feel guilty about something that's not your fault."

"It was my fault." Hijikata-san muttered while staring at the loose paper on the ground. "I watched you cry as I cut your hair. Don't tell me it's not my fault."

I had enough of his downtrodden attitude. He had barely spoken to me since we returned to Kyoto and it was high time for him to snap out of this state. Deciding some pain was the best way to snap him out of his mopey state, I reached for his bangs that were draped over his face from looking down and pulled as hard as I could.

"OW! What the hell are you doing?! Let go of my hair!" Hijikata-san cried in pain before giving me a slight glare while rubbing the spot on his head where his bangs were attached to.

"Are you done with your self-hatred yet?"

"Self-hatred? What self-hatred?!" he said while looking insulted at what I said.

"Look, I only was crying because Serizawa took my kanzashi and because I thought Souji was going to be disappointed in me for allowing Serizawa to do so much me. I don't really care if my hair is long or short." I snorted. "You shouldn't be feeling guilty about cutting off something I don't really care about. In fact, I would have cut my own hair short a long time ago if Souji didn't like it long."

"I still don't have an excuse for what I did." Hijikata-san said with a depressed sigh. "I'm supposed to protect my little sister-like figure, not carry out the punishment orders of a man that clearly dislikes her."

Seriously, this man… I defiantly stuck my pointer finger at his face, "Who do you think you are? My guardian? When I want your protection, I'll ask for it. I willingly offered to take the punishment for those two geisha without anyone making me. What happened was not your fault."

"You— Why are you so hardheaded? Fine! You win!" Hijikata-san said exasperatedly before giving me a small smile. "I just can't win with you, huh?"

"Nope. Remember who I'm married to? I have to be hardheaded sometimes." I pointed out.

"No kidding." Hijikata-san agreed before drinking some of his tea. "By the way, why do you look so tired?"

Again? I don't look that tired, do I? Maybe I should go take a nap after I finish helping Hijikata-san? No, there was no time. If I went to go take a nap after this then Saito-san would take this chance to cook a tofu-only lunch, resulting in many unhappy people.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked with a wince. What? Was my skin overly pale? Did I have dark rings around my eyes?

"Not really, you're just normally not so sluggish." Hijikata-san said. "You took almost twice as long to prepare tea than you normally do."

"Wait, you keep track of how long it normally takes for me to prepare tea?"

"Yes— That's not the point! Why are you so tired?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes, it's not like your going out to do something illegal, right?" said Hijikata-san. True enough.

"Well, Kyoko-chan broke in again last night to bring me some news, waking Souji up in the process. After she left, Souji couldn't fall back asleep, so he decided to use that time to try to make a baby. Instead of doing just one round, Souji decided that he wanted to go again after he finished and went two more times before going back to sleep." I said, listing off what happened last night in a simplified manner.

"Ah." was Hijikata-san's simple response with a raised brow.

"Yeah…" I said. "Now, aren't we supposed to be organizing your papers? Which stack of paper do you want me to sort through first?"

"Those over there, on top of where I usually place my futon." Hijikata-san pointed to the dark dusty corner of his room. By the looks of it, his futon hasn't been rolled out in a while, meaning he probably didn't sleep last night.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The day before yesterday." he said as he started sorting through the foot tall pile of paper on his right.

"And you said that I look tired? Speak for yourself."

"I was just sitting here doing paperwork. You, on the other hand, was doing some high-energy activity with someone that has far more stamina than you." he pointed out.

* * *

><p>CRASH!<p>

The loud sound of wood splintering followed by a strangely haunted sounding voice broke the relative silence of the peaceful night.

"I don't want to die!" the strangely haunting voice echoed throughout the headquarters.

I tensed when I heard the strange sounds. Yamazaki-san, who I was lecturing to about the lateral corticospinal tract, froze as well before he suggesting that we go investigate the source of the disturbance. We were the first to arrive on the scene, along with Hijikata-san and Father. The other captains didn't take to long to join us afterwards.

"What happened, Sannan-san?!" Hijikata-san questioned in alarm. The shattered wooden splints on the ground were telltale signs of a rasetsu breaking out, but rasetsu can't speak, right? The "I don't want to die!" from moments before must have come from the one that broke out earlier. It couldn't have been a rasetsu, right?

"The Water of Life was administered to Saeki Matasaburo, who was supposed to commit seppuku for deviating from the way of the warrior. He managed to retain his sanity and used his newly found powers to escape from headquarters." Sannan-san said grimly.

"Wait! It worked?!" Father cried in surprise.

"Yes, but I'm afraid that Saeki seemed incredibly unstable when he fled headquarters." said Sannan-san. "We must kill him before he loses himself and starts to kill innocent people."

"Tsk!" Hijikata-san said as he quickly processed the information. "Harada with Heisuke, Souji with Gen-san, Shinpachi with Saito, Yamazaki with Shimada, and Shizuka, you're with me. Find him!"

"Sir!" everyone cried before dispersing.

"Come on, Shizuka." Hijikata-san called me over before taking the lead. "We're searching the Nishijin district. Any ideas on where to start?"

"The smaller side streets and the back allies." I suggested while running after Hijikata-san. "There's little light in those places and it's not overly crowded with people at this hour. The rasetsu will aim for individuals in a dark deserted area."

"Okay, let's go." Hijikata-san said as he ran faster.

The search with Hijikata-san was fruitless. The Nishijin district was were all the textile shops were located in Kyoto, hence the streets were empty due to the shops being closed at night. It was dark enough to attract a rasetsu, but there were certainly not enough people on the streets to attract a rasetsu. Still, Hijikata-san and I kept searching the district, to be through, until the sun rose. We had nothing to show for our efforts. I only hoped the others had more luck, but I doubted it. If the others did find that rasetsu, then they would have sent us a message. Hijikata-san and I headed back to the headquarters to report on our lack of progress. We were the last to return to headquarters. I went to take a seat next to Souji while Hijikata-san went to take his seat next to Father in the main hall. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san, whose expressions indicated that they must have found something, went to silently tell Hijikata-san what they had found. After a few minutes of hushed whispers and nodding, Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san returned to their seats before Hijikata-san started to address everyone.

"Fellow corps member Sasaki was killed at Suzukuno Senpon Way with a woman." Hijikata-san said, sharing the news that Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san just told him. "We believe the culprit was Saeki, who was turned into a rasetsu."

"Got any proof?" Heisuke asked.

"The locals are talking about how they heard animal-like growls." Sannan-san answered. "Furthermore, was hardly any blood left in those corpses."

That was seriously sick. I knew there was a possibility of rasetsu wanting to eat some part of a human but hearing that it actually did, made me want to throw up a bit. That thing was acting exactly like a vampire from those old European myths. Now only if it were weak against things like garlic and the wooden stake, like in the myths, then that would make hunting them down so much more easier.

"He drank their blood?" Shinpachi-san said while looking a little sick himself, "That's messed up!"

Supposedly Sasaki died trying to defend the young lady." Saito-san stated.

"He protected his woman, didn't he?" Sano-san said while bringing his fist up to his chest as a sort of salute. "Until the very end…"

"We must find Saeki as soon as possible and kill him." Hijikata-san said seriously.

"I would like you to split up and begin searching for him right away." Father said.

"Nagakura-kun, Harada-kun, search Shimogyou." Sannan-san instructed.

"Kay'!"

"You got it!" both men addressed, answered.

"Toudou-kun, Inoue-san, search Nakagyou." Sannan-san continued. "Okita-kun, please search Kawaramachi."

"Isn't the Choshu Domain's mansion in Kawaramachi?" Souji asked wryly. "You want me goin' somewhere that dangerous?"

"I'm asking you to go precisely because it's dangerous." Sannan-san answered without losing a beat.

"Very well." Souji said, accepting the explanation.

"If you find the rasetsu, please be sure to kill him." Sannan-san pushed. Strange, what was Sannan-san up to? He was exclusively pushing Souji to kill the rasetsu. Why?

"Of course." Souji replied.

"Shizuka," Sannan-san said, finally addressing me and snapping me out of my thoughts, "Go find Fuma-kun and see if he can assist us in this search. If he can, then work with him."

"Understood."

The second phase of the search had begun.

* * *

><p>So now you know why Souji has been constantly having sex with Shizuka. Not just because it's fun, but because he's been trying (and failing) to get her pregnant.<p> 


	42. Chapter 42

Sorry it took longer than usual to get this chapter up. I got distracted by a trip to Little Tokyo. X_X

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><p><strong>Chapter 42<strong>

"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love." ― Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare

"So, another rasetsu escaped…" said Kenji-san as he flipped through his accounting books while sitting in a cross-legged position on the floor. He shut the book before looking at me with a serious expression.

I nodded silently in affirmation. After the meeting was over, I had rushed to locate Kenji-san so I could complete the orders that Sannan-san had gave me. Before this, I actually didn't know where Kenji-san lived. Kyoko-chan never told me and I had never gone to visit him before. The only reason I was able to locate him was because his twin cousins came to fetch me while was wandering the streets of Kyoto. How his cousins manage to figure out I was looking for Kenji-san so fast was a mystery. All I can say is that the information network this family possessed was something quite amazing. They must have eyes almost everywhere in Kyoto.

"We need help locating this rasetsu as fast as possible." I said with great urgency. "This one is much more advanced than the other ones before it. The Water of Life used on this one was much more advance and the rasetsu still managed to maintain his sanity after the transformation, though somewhat unstable."

"I know." he said before standing up. "I heard three bodies were found, each drained of blood. The other rasetsu that managed to escape the Roshigumi headquarters never actually managed to kill anyone before. This one must maintain enough reasoning skills to be a more effective hunter. We need to find it before more people fall victim to it."

Kenji-san briskly walked from his desk to a large cabinet against the wall of the room and swung its doors open. As the cabinet doors opened, I caught a glimpse of what lay within. On the inside of the doors, there were shelves of various pieces equipment like: kunai, shuriken, many different shaped hand grenades, and many more tools I could not make sense of. The most curious piece of equipment was mounted in the center wall of the cabinet. It was a lethal looking weapon that looked like it was composed of a Japanese farming sickle and a long chain with a weight at the end.

"Rasetsu are afraid of light, right? If that's the case, then small flash bombs maybe the most useful things I have against them." he mumbled while rummaging through the cabinet. He grinned at me good-naturedly when he turned around and saw me curiously staring at the wicked-looking sickle.

"What is that?" I asked with my eyes lingering on the weighted end of the chain attached to the sickle.

"That's a kusarigama." he explained as he gestured to the sickle fondly. "When I use this weapon, I swing the weighted chain in a large circle over my head before whipping it forward to entangle my opponent's weapon. After my opponent is immobilized with the chain, I can rush forward to deliver the killing blow with the scythe."

"Is that your main weapon of choice?"

"Yeah." Kenji-san answered as he began to remove equipment from the cabinet. "Do you think you can run to the kitchen to grab one of my cousins while I get my gear? I need him to deliver a message to Kyoko. With a rasetsu on the loose, I don't want Kyoko going outside, especially because she can't fight."

"Okay."

I went to the kitchen to do what Kenji-san asked. As soon as he was done preparing himself for the search, Kenji-san came to the kitchen to retrieve so we could go on the search. It was still morning, so the rasetsu should have been rendered immobile, but the lack of activity from it would make it harder to track down. No activity from it would mean there would be no clues to lead us to it. It would have been easier to start tracking the rasetsu after the sunset, but neither Kenji nor I wanted to risk giving the rasetsu more time to attack people.

"Tell me what you know about rasetsu behavior." Kenji-san said as we left his home and began weaving through the crowded streets. "We might be able to determine its possible hiding locations based on behavior patterns."

"We all know that it can't utilize its powers in the sunlight, so it must be hiding somewhere with adequate shade in the day. But at night, the rasetsu is more active because its powers return and because it associates the light with the sunlight, it will avoid places with large amounts of light. The rasetsu also likes relatively empty locations despite feeding on human blood because too many people will make it feel uneasy." I said as I trailed behind Kenji-san.

"Then that means the rasetsu won't be on the main streets at night because of all the lights and people. That leaves the narrow side streets and back alleys that are dimly lit." Kenji-san concluded quickly as he increased his walking speed. "The thing acts like a predator and it will probably choose to stake out an area that is close to a busy main street but still dark so that it can effectively prey on the people that stray into its kill zone. Keep up Shizuka. We need to examine the location where the corpses were found. There may still be clues."

"Okay." I panted as I struggled to keep up. Kenji-san moved fairly quickly when he was working. No wonder Kyoko-chan always had a hard time keeping up with him. It also didn't help that I was short too.

"Where were the three bodies found?"

"In the narrow streets of Higashiyama, near Kiyomizudera." I answered as I jogged to keep up. "One of the corpses was discovered in the alley next to the side street the other two corpses were discovered on."

"That matches the behavior pattern in the hypothesis." he said as he sped up again towards our destination. "Come on, Shizuka. Keep up!"

"I'm trying, but I have short legs." I said as I began jogging after him again. "What type of clues are we looking for? The mess created by the rasetsu has already been cleaned up by the city officials. There might not be any clues left for us to look at."

Kenji-san slowed down and grinned at me confidently, "The people who did clean-up are good at their jobs, but they aren't perfect. They may have cleaned up the bodies and the blood, but they would have missed the subtler tracks that the rasetsu left behind. We only need to find a few signs that tell us which direction it fled in and then we can narrow down our search. We already know what type of places the rasetsu like to hide in."

He was right about the clean-up crew being good at their jobs. When we arrived at our destination, the area looked completely normal. If I did not already know about what had happened on the street the night before then I would not believe that there were three corpses here just a few hours ago. While Kenji-san was right about the clean-up being well done, I seriously doubted we would find any clues that would lead us in the right direction. The place was spotless. I didn't see any blood, any signs of struggle, or much of anything really. The place looked like it usually did. Just as I was beginning to think that the clean-up crew did get everything, Kenji-san called me into another nearby side street.

"See, they didn't get everything." he said as he pointed to a bloodstain on the side of a building.

"Strange," I muttered as I examined the bloodstain, "why is there a bloodstain here? We know from where the corpses were found that the murder occurred on the opposite side of the street…"

The blood was dry, but it was definitely from last night because the blood was not old enough to begin flaking off the wall yet. The shape of the bloodstain was different from what I would have expected too. We all knew the murders were brutal from the state of the bodies and blood splatters nearby from the original state of the crime scene, but this bloodstain wasn't a splatter, it was in a brush pattern.

"The rasetsu fled in this direction. When it was covered in blood from the kills, it accidentally brushed up against this wall while it was fleeing…" I said as I strung the clues together.

"Yeah, and it looks like it used the rooftops." Kenji-san said as he pointed to a roof tile that had been knock ajar. "While rasetsu are fast and light on their feet, they're not exactly graceful. There are probably more tracks on the roofs. I doubt the clean-up crew checked the roofs. I'll search the roofs while you follow me from the ground."

"Okay." I said as he flipped onto the nearby roof gracefully. He quickly shot off to the left the moment his feet touched the roof. There must have been quite a trail on the roof if he was able to take off so fast.

Though Kenji-san and I were pretty confident when we began to track the rasetsu, that confidence died out when we lost the trail. The rasetsu had crossed a river sometime in the night and the water washed away any other possible clues we could have used to find the damn thing. The whole day was fruitless and now with the sun setting, we could only hope that the rasetsu would be active enough to leave behind more clues we could use to track it.

The second night passed without too much luck. Thankfully, we didn't hear about any more victims appearing during the second night, but that also meant that there were no new clues to follow. It was by shear luck that we managed to narrow down our search the next day near sunset.

"It was terrifying!" I heard a man exclaimed as he spoke to a shopkeeper. I glanced tiredly at Kenji-san and he gave me a nod. Both of us paused so that we could eavesdrop on the conversation. "As I was about to take a shortcut home from Shimabara last night, I heard animal-like growls coming from the small alley I was going to take so I decided to take the long way home. There must be a feral dog living there! Can you imagine dying from rabies?"

"Excuse me good sir!" Kenji-san called out to the man amicably. "I often go down to Shimabara and I like to take shortcuts home afterwards. Do you think you can tell me which alley you heard the dog in? I'd hate to run into a feral dog while I'm heading home."

"I'm afraid I was slightly drunk last night, so I don't quite remember the exact alley, but I do remember the approximate area." the man said. "It was in the western part of Shimabara."

"Thank you my good sir! I'll be sure to avoid that area tonight." Kenji-san exclaimed as he shot me a look.

So the rasetsu was in Shimabara? We would have to move fast to get to there before the sun set. Once the sun sets the rasetsu will be able to move again. We were close and I wasn't about to let it get away again. Unfortunately, we weren't fast enough. The sun had set by the time we had reached our destination, but not for long, there was still a chance the rasetsu had not left the area yet. Luck was on our side this time. When we arrived in Shimabara, I spotted Yamazaki-san nearby. With Yamazaki-san, we could cover more ground within Shimabara.

"Yamazaki-san!" I called out to get his attention.

"Sensei? Fuma-san?" Yamazaki-san said as he saw us. "Did your search lead you to Shimabara?"

"Yes." Kenji-san answered quickly. "We heard rumors that lead us to believe the rasetsu may be hiding here. The sun just set so there may be a chance that it hasn't had a chance to leave the area yet. We need you to help us search the area. All of us need to split up to cover more ground."

"Got it. If you find nothing, then return back to the gate." Yamazaki-san said before we all fanned out.

I searched the northern sector of the western part of Shimabara, but my search came up dry. As I was returning to the gate, Yamazaki-san called out to me from near by.

"Sensei! I found it." Yamazaki-san whispered the latter part in my ear as he pointed to a nearby dark alley. "I need you to keep track of it while I go alert the captains. I will take Fuma-san, who is probably waiting by the gates for us, with me to alert the captains. Because the captains are still searching for the rasetsu, there is a good chance they are not at the headquarters and I might need someone else that can help me search for and alert the captains."

"Okay." I answered with a nod. I took my place near the entrance of the alley to keep an eye on the rasetsu while waiting for someone to arrive.

I wasn't going to take the chance of dealing with it myself. I couldn't fight it in a narrow alley with my long weapon nor was I going to draw that rasetsu out into plan sight so that I could fight it. There were too many people nearby. I did not have to wait too long for the first captain to appear. The first person to arrive was Souji and surprisingly, Ibuki-kun had arrived with him. Every since the events in Osaka, Souji's relationship with Ibuki-kun had gone sour and it was interesting that Souji had allowed Ibuki-kun to tag along.

"You look tired." Souji said wryly as he placed his hand on my cheek.

"Well, what did you expect?" I played along tiredly. "I have been searching with Kenji-san for two days straight."

"And yet, he didn't look tired at all when I saw him." Souji replied before kissing my forehead. "So the rasetsu is in that alley?"

"Yeah."

"Stay back. I'll go take care of it right now." Souji said before he entered the narrow alley.

I trailed behind Souji with Ibuki-kun and we both paused at the entrance of alley while Souji continued deeper into the alley with confidence. Now that I was closer to where the rasetsu was hiding, I could smell the heavy scent of old blood. Freshly spilt blood always had an iron-like smell and never bothered me much, but the scent of blood that had been exposed to the elements for day smelled like rotting flesh. The disgusting smell was almost enough to make me gag. The blood that clung on to the rasetsu from the kills three nights ago should have been washed away by the water when it crossed the river, but here it stood covered in blood. There must have been another death during the second night. Just because Kenji-san and I didn't hear about more victims didn't mean there weren't any. That just meant the body was never found.

"You're over there, aren't you?" Souji called out as a taunt to the rasetsu. "You smell just like the last rasetsu that fled from our headquarters."

When the rasetsu heard Souji's voice, it stood up from its huddled position against the wall and stepped into the meager light that had spilled into the alley. It's entire front and especially its mouth was cover with clotting blood. The rasetsu stared at us with crazed eyes, the sanity it once possessed now nowhere to be found. Souji drew his blade and ran forward to attack the creature.

"Blood! Give me blood!" the rasetsu cried as it parried Souji's strike with a stolen sword before rushing forward.

"Forget about it." Souji said mockingly as he got into a thrusting stance.

Souji quickly lunged forward, spearing the rasetsu with his sword in the chest region. Instead of falling over, dead, like I hoped it would, the rasetsu slid backwards before leaping into the air to strike from above. Souji missed?

"I missed?!" Souji exclaimed in surprise as he readied himself for the rasetsu's attack.

This wasn't good. The rastsu and had the advantage of higher ground at the moment and Souji couldn't sidestep the attack due to the nature of the narrow alley. The only choice Souji had in this situation would be to parry the blow, but the downwards swing of the rasetsu was bound to be power due to the extra momentum of coming from higher ground. Just as I was about to run forward, Ibuki-kun grabbed a wooden bucket next to him and tossed it at the rasetsu.

"Okita!" Ibuki-kun yelled as the bucket smashed into the rasetsu, interrupting its attack.

Taking the opportunity that Ibuki-kun opened up for him, Souji quickly lunged forward to roll underneath the rasetsu so that he could secure a position behind it. As the rasetsu landed on the ground again, Ibuki-kun threw another bucket at it, but it was ready for the bucket this time and it smashed the bucket with the sword before the hit connected. Obviously unhappy with the bucket, the rasetsu turned its attention to Ibuki-kun, causing him to freeze in panic.

"Tsk!" I snapped as I reached over and drew Ibuki-kun's sword from its scabbard before quickly positioning myself in front of Ibuki-kun in a protective manner. I didn't know how to use a katana, but it was better than using my naginata in an enclosed space like this.

Before the rasetsu could make a move, Souji slashed at its neck from behind, stunning it. Souji then proceeded to stab it in the heart from behind before it could regenerate. The lifeless rasetsu collapsed on to the ground when Souji pulled his sword out. It was dead. I dropped Ibuki-kun's sword and quickly ran over to Souji to check him for any possible injuries. I didn't see him take a hit, but I wanted to be sure.

"I'm fine." Souji reassured me as he placed his free hand on my hip. "Stop worrying so much."

As Souji looked like he was going to say something else to me, a panicked but familiar voice cut in followed with the sound of many people running.

"Souji!" the voice cried before nearly everyone came to a stop at the alley entrance to stare at the dead rasetsu. Souji release my hip as we both turned to those whom had just arrived at the scene.

After a few seconds of staring at the rasetsu and at Souji, Hijikata-san quickly took charge of the situation.

"Don't let anyone near here." Hijikata-san ordered.

"Right!" Sano-san answered as he, Shinpachi-san, and Saito-san immediately went to deter people from coming closer. The inspectors quickly stepped forward so that they could deal with the body.

Hijikata-san looked at Souji quietly for a moment before saying, "Well done."

It seemed like Hijikata-san was still having a hard time dealing with Souji killing, even if it was a rasetsu. Souji's mood soured as he picked up on Hijikata-san's feelings. It was a tense moment between the two.

"Whatever, I didn't do this to get Hijikata-san's praise." Souji said as he flicked the blood off his sword and sheathed it again. He did all this without looking at Hijikata-san. He took my hand when he was done and began leading me out of alley.

Hijikata-san sighed at Souji's response before turning his attention to Ibuki-kun. "What are you doing here?" Hijikata-san asked. "I bet you just got in his way."

"Well…" Ibuki-kun started as he turned to stare at the floor.

"He wasn't a complete and total deadweight." Souji said as he took me with him as we walked past the two. "I'm heading back now."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked Souji worriedly after we had left the proximity of the others. He wasn't taking Hijikata-san's feelings on killing so well.

Souji sighed in response, "I'm not Hijikata-san's little brother. I don't need him mothering me and he needs to start treating me like everyone else."

"Just give him some time." I said. "He's just not use to things yet because he still sees you as the little kid he met at Father's dojo. This causes him to not see things as clearly as he does with other people. He'll adjust in time."

Souji seemed to doubt my words, but said nothing as we continued back to headquarters in a comfortable silence. When we arrived back at headquarters, Sannan-san was waiting for us at the front gate of the estate.

"Welcome back, both of you." Sannan-san said pleasantly.

"I killed the rasetsu exactly as ordered." Souji said. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I can see that from your looks, Okita-kun. Well done." Sannan-san said contently. Souji stared at Sannan-san confusedly for awhile before he spoke.

"May I ask you something?" Souji questioned. "Why did you emphasize 'kill him' back then?"

"That's because Okita-kun is the sword of the Roshigumi."

No, that was not something I wanted to hear again. This conversation was reminding me too much of the conversation Souji had with Sannan-san on the day of the sparring matches for lieutenant general of Aizu. I wanted Souji to be himself and not to devalue himself. He was so much more than a tool and I believed his potential in other areas was limitless. I grit my teeth in silence as I listened to the men converse.

"The sword of the Roshigumi?" Souji repeated after Sannan-san.

"Your sword skill is unparalleled. Soon, words like 'there's a fearsome swordsman in this city', 'he's Okita Souji of the Mibu Roshigumi' will spread in this city. Ronin will fear your sword, and the place you belong to." Sannan-san said as if he could see the future. Souji listened quietly, displeased when he realized Sannan-san words were upsetting me.

''Hear me out, Okita-kun." Sannan-san continued. "This sword is, and will be, absolutely needed for the Roshigumi. This sword, and the strength to kill, is essential for pushing Kondou-san up."

And with those words, it was like a spell was cast. If something is said to be "for Kondou-san" then Souji won't go against it. He couldn't. Sannan-san continued speaking, like he was driving Souji into a corner.

"I'm afraid your sword will be stained with even more blood afterwards. In some cases, possibly not in the way the commander of the Roshigumi will hope for… I believe it's something your sword can cut off eventually." Sannan-san finished.

Souji stared back at Sannan-san silently. Sannan-san stared back without avoiding Souji's stare. The intensity of the atmosphere was tense until Souji sighed at smiled at Sannan-san.

"I see. Sannan-san knows how to use me better than Hijikata-san does." Souji stated with his smile.

"Okita-kun understands, right?" Sannan-san said with a bitter smile before glancing at me briefly. "Kondou-san and Hijikata-san definitely acknowledge your strength. However, what's dear to them isn't your talent, but you yourself. It's just that I'm more heartless than they are. Isn't that right, Shizuka-chan?"

"Why are you bringing me into this conversation?" I asked with simmering rage underneath my normally calm surface. "You know how I feel about this. You know I feel the same way as Father and Hijikata-san."

"Because I know you see the valid points in my argument. I know you would do the exact same thing if you weren't so attached to Okita-kun. I know what you have planned out for Serizawa. We are a lot more similar to each other than we are different."

What Sannan-san said was true. If Father was to rise to the top, then he would need someone who could kill without hesitation, someone who could complete the dirtiest jobs. Souji was perfect for this role. He had no problems with killing and could do so without hesitation, but I didn't want Souji to take this role. This role that Sannan-san was offering to him was not something that a person could turn off and on. It didn't matter if Souji was apathetic towards killing; this role would start to affect him one way or another. I didn't want Souji to loose himself. But what Sannan-san said was right, if I didn't love Souji the way I did now, then I would have said exactly what he said to Souji so that Father could rise up.

Sannan-san sighed when he saw my anger slowly burn away only to be replaced by a conflicted expression.

"I'm sure you two have plenty to speak about right now." Sannan-san said before he began to leave. "I let you two have some privacy."

Both of us stood in silence for several minutes after Sannan-san left. Souji broke the silence as he began to pour water over his sword as a part of maintenance.

"Shizuka…" Souji said quietly. "This is something I have to do… Please, I need you to understand."

"I know." I said as I sadly looked down the water running off his blade. "But I want you to know that you don't have to hide your feelings all the time when you become the 'sword'. If you're the Roshigumi's 'sword' then I'll become your 'sheath'. I'll become the home you can return to every time to rest. I'll share your heavy yolk."

Souji paused his actions when I grew silent again. I took Souji's sword out of his hand and leaned it against the well so I could embrace him. I started speaking again as I place my head against his chest.

"You will be forced to do some dirty jobs in the future with this role, but there is nothing you can ever do that will chase me away or make me stop loving you. So please, never hide your true emotions around me and never forget who you are. Never forget I love you and that I will always be here for you. I believe in you."

"I know." Souji said softly as he hugged me back fiercely. "Thank you for everything."

* * *

><p>For those who watched Reimeiroku, you will know that with the end of this chapter marks the end of episode nine. That means the Shinsengumi Kitan season is coming soon. I haven't decided if I'll follow the anime or the game yet. It might even be a mixture of both anime and game. What do you guys prefer? If I choose to follow the anime only, I'll pair Chizuru with Hijikata, but if I follow the game or do a weird mixture of game and anime, then I might pair Chizuru up with someone else. Let me know what pairing you guys want in the review section or message me.<p> 


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